A/N:  I do not own DBZ.  Nor do I own any literary work mentioned here. 

Vegeta Goes to the Library

            It was a normal day, as far as he could tell.  Vegeta was in the Gravity Room, as always, training.  He found it very pleasant that nobody bothered him any more.  Even though he did love his family, despite what he would show them, it was better that they did not annoy him with the usual "Vegeta, get a job" or "Dad, can you tell mom I'm going to Goten's house."  Thankfully, it was much less frequent that it happened.  Bulma was busy with the company, and Trunks was old enough to know when not to bother him.  However, Vegeta had still failed to take one person in his life into consideration.  Just as he was attempting to balance himself, a holographic screen popped-up in the room with a familiar face.

            "Daddy."

            Vegeta fell down at the sudden action.

            "Daddy, you so funny."

            It was Vegeta's daughter, Bra.  He had forgotten that she was still home that day from school. 

            "What is it?" he asked her, not trying to be too harsh.

            "Well, I need to go somewhere today, and I need somebody to take me there."

            "What for?"

            "It's the library.  I need to get a book for a school project."

            "Get you mother to take you."

            "She's busy right now, and Trunks is off with that cute Goten."

            "How many times do I have to tell you not to be attracted to anyone in Kakarot's family?!"

            "Anyway, I need someone to take me there."

            "I'm training right now, so wait for someone to come back," he commanded.

            "But, daddy…" she said forming tears in her eyes.

            Vegeta took one look at them.  If there was one thing Vegeta could not stand, it was the crying of a child, especially his "little princess."  He thought for a moment. 

            "She may try to go on her own.  That means she would be open to anyone who looked at her.  Some boy, like Kakarot's brat, might…ASK HER OUT ON A DATE!!!  Over my dead body!"

            "Ok," he said getting up, "I'll take you."

            After a brief smile, she turned off the screen.  Vegeta lowered the gravity down.

            "Like Hell I'm going to let you go off like that."

            After they got to the library, Vegeta looked around to see of anyone would try to hit on Bra. 

            "If anyone dares to touch her, I'll see that they will never be able to reproduce with any female."

            "Dad," Bra called to he father in a whisper tone.

            "Why are you whispering?" he asked in an upright voice, "It's not like anyone can't hear us."

            Suddenly, he was pummeled with a multitude of "SHHHH!" sounds.

            "Don't tell me to sush!" Vegeta yelled, "I can speak when I want to!"

            Bra just shook her head as an old Librarian with thick glasses came up to him.

            "Sir, this facility is a quiet zone," she said to him in an old lady voice, "this is a place of study and reading.  If you don't quiet down, I'll be forced to call your wife."

            "What?!" he asked in surprise, "How the hell do you know that?"

            "We here at the library take pride in knowing all people here.  Your daughter has been here before and has told us of her mother."

            "Ok.  Ok.  I'll tone it down."

            "That's better."

            As the old librarian walked off, Vegeta started to mumble.

            "What was that!?" the librarian snapped.

            "Uhh, nothing."

            "I thought so."

            "Damn woman sounds just like Bulma!"

            "I heard that."

            Vegeta just backed away back to Bra as he kept a careful eye on the Librarian.  He followed Bra into the literature section of the library.

            "So, what's this school thing you have to do?"

            "I have to find a book that is interesting to me and bring it to class."

            "Is that all?  Why don't you get you little magazines?"

            "An educational book, dad."

            "What is this human trait to read?  I've learned the language, but I don't get why they write like this."

            Vegeta picked a book out from the shelf and opened it to the first chapter.

            "What is this?  It was the best of times.  It was the blurst of times?"

            "Worst of times, dad.  Are you sure you learned how to read?"

            "Of course I did.  Your father is the Prince of all Saiyans, and I think I know how to read."

            After stuffing the book back, he picked up another one and read the first chapter.

            "Call me Twitch-mael?"

            "That's Ishmael, dad."

            "And who the hell is this Moby Dick?"

            "He's a whale."

            "Who in there right minds would write a book about a whale?"

            "Forget it, dad."

            Again, Vegeta stuffed the book back and took another book.  This time he started to flip though this one.

            "What the?  Listen to this.  Deep into that dress room peeking…  Sounds like something that old man on that island would read." 

            He flipped through the book more.

            "What about this?  Once upon a midway beating…?  Who writes this stuff?"

            Bra looked at the title of the book, which read The Complete Works of Edger Allen Poe.  Suddenly, she remembered that the author wrote about tales of revenge.

            "Dad, I think you should put that one back."

            "Fine.  Let's see about this one," he said getting another book.

            "To eat or not to eat?  To die, to eat?  That sounds like Kakarot."

            "That's from a play dad.  Your reading it wrong."

            Vegeta flipped a few more pages.

            "Ah ha!  This is something I could use.  This same guy is looking at the skull of somebody.  How's this.  Ah!  Poor Kakarot.  I despised him, Piccolo.  Ha ha ha ha ha!"

            "SHHHHHH!" he heard again.

            "That's it," Vegeta said putting his hand forward about to gather energy.

            "No, Dad," Bra said stopping her father, "How about this one?"

            Vegeta took the book she gave him.  It was called The Surprise, so he opened it with special caution.  Suddenly, the book itself spayed out spring snakes and party confetti, making Vegeta blast it into a few hundred pieces.  Everyone in the library got up and yelled out, "Surprise!!"

            "What?!"

            The next thing he knew, his, Goku's, and Krillin's families threw off disguises.  He was surrounded by most of the people he knew.

            "What the hell is going on?!" he asked Bra.

            "Happy birthday, Dad."

            "Is this some kind of joke?!"

            "No it isn't, sir," the old Librarian said coming into view, "and I resent you speaking so softly in the library."

            Suddenly, she ripped off a mask and reveled Bulma herself.

            "What?!  I thought…?"

            "Dad, there never was a project.  It was just a thing to get you here."

            "Yeah, Vegeta," Goku began to say, "It's your birthday so we wanted to surprise you."

            "You stay out of this Kakarot!  I demand to know what happened!"

            "We knew you wouldn't want us to celebrate you getting older so we arranged for the library to be empty."

            "It was funny seeing you try to read, although," Trunks said almost laughing.

            "Now you listen to me!  I don't know how they hell you knew it was the day of my birth, but I'm not going to go along with this!"

            "Come on, dad," Bra said, "It'll be fun.  Besides, Goten, Gohan, and Videl got everything set up at home."

            "Goten!" he thought, "If he's there, then Bra will want to be with him.  I can't let that happen."

            "Fine, I'll go," he said cross-armed. 

            Suddenly, Goku started to push him out of the deserted library singing happy birthday.  Vegeta knew this was going to be a long day.

The End

Ok.  So it was short and corny at the end.  I was dared to write and post this, so you can't completely blame me.  R&R if you want to.