Now I warned you.This FanFic can go from normal to bad to worse, so those
of you with high IQ's may want to leave the building.
Now we join Aeris 4 days after the party.
Aeris decided she wanted to go to the park today, so she went. She walked merrily along enjoying the cool breeze now blowing. She sat down at a bench, "So Yuffie, Elena, and Johnny all got bailed.Except poor Cloud." She thought sadly, "I'd bail him out, but I don't have all that much money right now." Two birds chirped merrily. "Tifa says it was his fault and that he should learn from his mistakes, but is it his fault he's a blind idiot?" The two birds continued to chirp, "Maybe if I do what Tifa did, then I'll get enough money!" The birds friendly conversation turned into a violent fight, screeching and chirping loudly. "THAT'S IT!" Aeris yelled. She cast fire on the two birds. They went up in smoke. "Mmm, smells like chicken." Aeris turned around to see Cid standing there smelling the scent of the two roasted birds. He rubbed his stomach, "Haven't eaten anything all day, you having a picnic or somethin'?" Aeris scratched her head, "Uh, more like a barbecue."
*From the point of view of the guy hiding in the bushes.*
"Aha!" he said under his breath. "I've got you now you slippery little."
*From Aeris' point of view.*
[twig snaps] "What was that?" Aeris looked around but saw no one else nearby. "Eh? Oh its probably just some wild animal. Now, about that barbecue." But suddenly a silver haired man with a masume blade leapt out from the bushes. "DIE!" Aeris smacked Sephiroth (in case you hadn't figured it out) right on the head with her Princess Guard. She continued to beat the crap out of him until Cid finally stopped her, "Woah, WOAH! Aeris calm down will ya'? Sides' I think he's already dead." Aeris looked at Cid in shock as though just realizing what she had done, she looked down at Sephiroth's unmoving body and put a hand to her mouth, "Oh dear."
*In the jail Cloud is in*
"COME ON! Let me out!! PLEASE!" The guard shook his head, "Sorry bud, but you ain't going nowhere until someone bails you out." "But you haven't even given me a phone call yet!" "What?"
"I SAID you haven't given me a phone call yet." The guard looked at him, "Oh alright, but ONE phone call." Cloud gave a sigh of relief. The guard gave him a quarter. Cloud first dialed Tifa's number.
[Ring Ring] "Hello? Tifa? It's me Cloud. I- Hello? Hello!?" He slammed the phone back down. The guard stepped forward, "Alright come on pal, back to your cell." "No wait, just one more call!" "I said ONE phone call, ONE." "Uh, well, that wasn't a real phone call." The guard opened his mouth as though to say something, found he couldn't and handed Cloud another quarter. Cloud stared at him, "What an idiot." he thought. He dropped in the quarter and dialed Aeris' number.
[Ring Ring Ring Ring..]
He slammed the phone back down again. The guard handed him another quarter. Cloud kept trying and trying until.
"Alright, THAT'S IT. All the people you called aren't home. Time for you to go back to your cell." "N-No!" Cloud cried desperately, "I still have one more number to dial!!" The guard sighed and handed him another quarter. Cloud dialed the number, knowing he would regret it later.
[Ring Ring]
"H-Hello, Mukki? I-It's me.hubby."
*Back at the park with Aeris and Cid*
"Cid what am I going to do!? I'll go to jail for this, I just know it!" Aeris had gone hysterically. Cid just simply sat eating the two birds Aeris fried earlier. "And what if he really ISN'T dead!? He'll come back and kill me!!" Cid sighed, "Look, you beat the shit out of him, his ass ain't gettin' up ever again." "Well what do I do now then!?" "It's obvious, you need to get rid of the body!" "Oh." she hesitated. "Wassamatter?" "I, uh, think I hear someone coming!" "Aeris, stallin' ain't going to help-" but it was true. Someone was coming. A skinny jogger was coming their way. Aeris turned into a statue. Cid dropped the chicken he was eating. The jogger ran past them, he waved merrily. But neither of them waved back. He kept on going over the hill and out of site grumbling about homeless people. ".." ".." ".." ".get rid of the damn body already."
*Meanwhile in Barret's house*
Tifa, Marlene, and Barret were all eating lunch. Tifa was telling Barret about Cloud calling her, "I'm still mad at him for letting all that happen at the party." Barret shrugged, "Cloud can be dense at times, give the guy a break." But Tifa ignored him, "He had a lot of nerve calling me at six on a Saturday." Barret let out a chuckle. "Hey daddy!" Barret looked at Marlene, "Weren't you just saying earlier that Cloud was an ignorant jackass? Weren't you daddy?" Tifa raised her eyebrows at Barret. He coughed uncomfortably, "Uh, Marlene why don't you go play in your room?" "Okay daddy, and don't worry I think Cloud's an ignorant jackass too." And she skipped off. "Barret I told you to stop swearing around Marlene!" "Uh, Tifa I think we have bigger things to worry about." "BIGGER THINGS?? Your teaching your daughter to have a filthy mouth!" "Dammit, Tifa what are we going to do about those bodies!" ".What?" "The drunks that we ditched in Cosmo Canyon!" "Oh.Red XIII is taking care of that."
*Over at Cosmo Canyon (you knew I was going to take you here? Wow your psychic!*
Red XIII stared down into the canyon from up high. He watched somewhat amusedly as Reno, Rude, and all the others that passed out at the party ran from several Griffin's. "Did the others ACTUALLY think I was going to let those fools into the town?" He began to laugh. He started laughing even harder when one of the Griffins screeched at them, making them all yell out in pain. (hello, hang overs) He began to laugh so hard he lost his balance and fell from where he sat.
*Back at the jail*
"Alright your free to go." Cloud didn't know whether to cheer or breakdown and start crying. "Oh h- ubby!" He decided to choose answer C. Find a time machine, go back to the moment he dialed Mukki's number, and smack himself upside the head. The guard looked at Cloud, to Mukki, and back again, and an annoying smile spread across his face. Cloud shook his head, "Look it's not what you think- " Mukki grabbed Cloud from behind, "Hey you, we need to hurry up and get ready for our date tonight!" The guard started chuckling slowly. Cloud desperately wanted to disappear.
Now we join Aeris 4 days after the party.
Aeris decided she wanted to go to the park today, so she went. She walked merrily along enjoying the cool breeze now blowing. She sat down at a bench, "So Yuffie, Elena, and Johnny all got bailed.Except poor Cloud." She thought sadly, "I'd bail him out, but I don't have all that much money right now." Two birds chirped merrily. "Tifa says it was his fault and that he should learn from his mistakes, but is it his fault he's a blind idiot?" The two birds continued to chirp, "Maybe if I do what Tifa did, then I'll get enough money!" The birds friendly conversation turned into a violent fight, screeching and chirping loudly. "THAT'S IT!" Aeris yelled. She cast fire on the two birds. They went up in smoke. "Mmm, smells like chicken." Aeris turned around to see Cid standing there smelling the scent of the two roasted birds. He rubbed his stomach, "Haven't eaten anything all day, you having a picnic or somethin'?" Aeris scratched her head, "Uh, more like a barbecue."
*From the point of view of the guy hiding in the bushes.*
"Aha!" he said under his breath. "I've got you now you slippery little."
*From Aeris' point of view.*
[twig snaps] "What was that?" Aeris looked around but saw no one else nearby. "Eh? Oh its probably just some wild animal. Now, about that barbecue." But suddenly a silver haired man with a masume blade leapt out from the bushes. "DIE!" Aeris smacked Sephiroth (in case you hadn't figured it out) right on the head with her Princess Guard. She continued to beat the crap out of him until Cid finally stopped her, "Woah, WOAH! Aeris calm down will ya'? Sides' I think he's already dead." Aeris looked at Cid in shock as though just realizing what she had done, she looked down at Sephiroth's unmoving body and put a hand to her mouth, "Oh dear."
*In the jail Cloud is in*
"COME ON! Let me out!! PLEASE!" The guard shook his head, "Sorry bud, but you ain't going nowhere until someone bails you out." "But you haven't even given me a phone call yet!" "What?"
"I SAID you haven't given me a phone call yet." The guard looked at him, "Oh alright, but ONE phone call." Cloud gave a sigh of relief. The guard gave him a quarter. Cloud first dialed Tifa's number.
[Ring Ring] "Hello? Tifa? It's me Cloud. I- Hello? Hello!?" He slammed the phone back down. The guard stepped forward, "Alright come on pal, back to your cell." "No wait, just one more call!" "I said ONE phone call, ONE." "Uh, well, that wasn't a real phone call." The guard opened his mouth as though to say something, found he couldn't and handed Cloud another quarter. Cloud stared at him, "What an idiot." he thought. He dropped in the quarter and dialed Aeris' number.
[Ring Ring Ring Ring..]
He slammed the phone back down again. The guard handed him another quarter. Cloud kept trying and trying until.
"Alright, THAT'S IT. All the people you called aren't home. Time for you to go back to your cell." "N-No!" Cloud cried desperately, "I still have one more number to dial!!" The guard sighed and handed him another quarter. Cloud dialed the number, knowing he would regret it later.
[Ring Ring]
"H-Hello, Mukki? I-It's me.hubby."
*Back at the park with Aeris and Cid*
"Cid what am I going to do!? I'll go to jail for this, I just know it!" Aeris had gone hysterically. Cid just simply sat eating the two birds Aeris fried earlier. "And what if he really ISN'T dead!? He'll come back and kill me!!" Cid sighed, "Look, you beat the shit out of him, his ass ain't gettin' up ever again." "Well what do I do now then!?" "It's obvious, you need to get rid of the body!" "Oh." she hesitated. "Wassamatter?" "I, uh, think I hear someone coming!" "Aeris, stallin' ain't going to help-" but it was true. Someone was coming. A skinny jogger was coming their way. Aeris turned into a statue. Cid dropped the chicken he was eating. The jogger ran past them, he waved merrily. But neither of them waved back. He kept on going over the hill and out of site grumbling about homeless people. ".." ".." ".." ".get rid of the damn body already."
*Meanwhile in Barret's house*
Tifa, Marlene, and Barret were all eating lunch. Tifa was telling Barret about Cloud calling her, "I'm still mad at him for letting all that happen at the party." Barret shrugged, "Cloud can be dense at times, give the guy a break." But Tifa ignored him, "He had a lot of nerve calling me at six on a Saturday." Barret let out a chuckle. "Hey daddy!" Barret looked at Marlene, "Weren't you just saying earlier that Cloud was an ignorant jackass? Weren't you daddy?" Tifa raised her eyebrows at Barret. He coughed uncomfortably, "Uh, Marlene why don't you go play in your room?" "Okay daddy, and don't worry I think Cloud's an ignorant jackass too." And she skipped off. "Barret I told you to stop swearing around Marlene!" "Uh, Tifa I think we have bigger things to worry about." "BIGGER THINGS?? Your teaching your daughter to have a filthy mouth!" "Dammit, Tifa what are we going to do about those bodies!" ".What?" "The drunks that we ditched in Cosmo Canyon!" "Oh.Red XIII is taking care of that."
*Over at Cosmo Canyon (you knew I was going to take you here? Wow your psychic!*
Red XIII stared down into the canyon from up high. He watched somewhat amusedly as Reno, Rude, and all the others that passed out at the party ran from several Griffin's. "Did the others ACTUALLY think I was going to let those fools into the town?" He began to laugh. He started laughing even harder when one of the Griffins screeched at them, making them all yell out in pain. (hello, hang overs) He began to laugh so hard he lost his balance and fell from where he sat.
*Back at the jail*
"Alright your free to go." Cloud didn't know whether to cheer or breakdown and start crying. "Oh h- ubby!" He decided to choose answer C. Find a time machine, go back to the moment he dialed Mukki's number, and smack himself upside the head. The guard looked at Cloud, to Mukki, and back again, and an annoying smile spread across his face. Cloud shook his head, "Look it's not what you think- " Mukki grabbed Cloud from behind, "Hey you, we need to hurry up and get ready for our date tonight!" The guard started chuckling slowly. Cloud desperately wanted to disappear.
