Chapter 4

TO LET A HEART GO

Cloud walks inside his room upstairs. He puts his Ultima sword on a corner. He walks toward closed window and opens it. A warm sunlight greets his skin as the morning wind gives him its fresh blow. Cloud overhears birds chirping far away in cheerful song. He takes a deep breath, savoring morning freshness into his lungs. Cloud gazes to horizon far away.

This is an ordinary morning in Midgar, he thinks. But this morning is different for me, I feel better after gave her a visit last night…

He smiles on recalling what he did last night. Actually, it was nothing, just came by to church and fell asleep on its bench, but for Cloud, that was enough. He can not ask more, yet he does not want to. When he remembers about his nightmare last night, quickly he shakes his head.

That nightmare…I hope that was just a dream…Cloud eases his mind. There is no way Sephiroth could come back to life, we have killed him, and it was me who gave him final blow that ended his life...

With that, he concludes that his nightmare matter needs not to be prolonged. He is not in mood for that, yet he thinks it is pointless. He only wants to think about someone.

Tifa.

He smiles as her image comes to his mind. A young beautiful woman with long dark hair and ruby eyes that gives a warming looks to him, an independent woman, and also a tough one. His experience with her has proven that.

Well, it is a rare combination, Cloud tries to describe her. Beautiful, caring, tough with her fists, smart with her wit, and…a lovely one ! Cloud chuckles. He knows very well what Tifa has done to him, but she never asks anything for return. She has given a lot for Cloud's happiness. Cloud's mind goes to last night's event.

She should have gone mad that I left her unnoticed, and she should have more when she found me inside that church…Aeris' church. She knew what it meant, and I know it hurt her very much. I hurt her, but she still acted like there was nothing...

Mentioning the word 'hurt' inside his mind makes Cloud feel a bitter in his heart.

Face it, Cloud, you've hurt her for all this time. I had given her a promise when we were kids, and sure that gave her hope…and when I met Aeris, I treated Tifa not the way she wanted it to…I just ignored her, I just needed her presence as my best friend like those old times, but she never complained…

Cloud keeps silent for a moment. His mind wanders around to find every memory he has.

Tifa…since Aeris' death, you always tried to cheer me up. Even you often failed to do that, you always kept on trying and trying….you…cared me so much, and do you love me, Tifa ? You never said that three little words, didn't you ? Heh, me too. But I could sense it after those times. Should you only took me as your friend, you would never do what you actually did.

She really deserves to be loved, Cloud concludes his mind-conversation. He now realizes something that he doesn't know all these times. He has learned to love Tifa the way she wants to be. He loves Tifa Lockheart, his childhood friend, his reason to join SOLDIER.

Aeris...I told you that last night that I need your support…I am going..to be…with Tifa, as you wish for my happiness…wish us luck, my angel…

Cloud moves to his table and pulls a drawer. He takes a small red box, opens it. A grin is shown on his face as he watches the box content. He then closes it and puts it back inside the drawer. After that, he goes to bathroom and takes a bath.

Meanwhile, at downstairs, Barrett is preparing breakfast. He mumbles something like a song in his gruff voice and his slum accent. Nevertheless, he looks happy, yet funny with chef's hat on his head. Beside him, a book is opened. It is a cooking book. Looks like Barrett is in learning stage of his chef-career-path. The others are staring at him with disbelief face. Barrett's cooking…their thought start to imagine on what will happen after they eat Barrett's breakfast. They look each other and they know that they have same thought.

Is my stomach strong enough ? I would surely go to hospital and need to take intensive care after this, Tifa thinks nervously. She plays her long hair with uneasy feeling.

I swear I'll stop cursing if I could survive his goddammit f$#^& meal ! What's inside that guy's @$$-%&#$ brain !, Cid thinks. He smokes more intensively with a pale face.

I'd rather give all my materia to anyone who could eat my portion ! Barrett's gonna kill us…, Yuffie thinks with sweat drops from her forehead.

I'm very sure that my ransom when I was being Shinra's specimen is much better than this supposed-to-be-breakfast, even Red XIII, the most wise party member gives a think like that.

Vincent only looks at Barrett with cold look as always. He does not seem to care what will happen.

Cait Sith suddenly says," Thanks God I am only a robot !".

Barrett hears Cait Sith's words and then he gives Cait Sith a wondering look, pauses his cooking.

"Sure yer a robot, so what ?", Barrett doesn't seem to understand the others' thinking about him.

"Umm…it's nothing…I guess…just keep on cooking", Tifa cuts off conversation with nervous tone.

"Ha ! Ya haven't known the great chef's cooking : Barrett Wallace special breakfast !!", Barrett then goes back to his activity. After some minutes, Barrett smirks to the others and exclaims,

"Finally, it is done !".

Everybody now takes a look at what they see. Disbelief is shown clearly on their face. There, on meal table, lies Barrett's breakfast. The meal is in perfect form. For this reason, they can not believe for what they see.

"Hmm…it smells good..", Barrett says while takes a deep savor of his meal aroma. Barrett is right. The others smell a promising aroma from the meal. For this second reason, they can not believe for what they smell.

"Okay, let's have a meal !", Barrett says, but Tifa interrupts him.

"What about Cloud ? He is not here yet, we should wait for him".

"Yer right, missy", Barrett mumbles." Hey, spikey-head !! Get down from yer room ! Ye have taken bath too long !!", Barrett yells over the room. His voice echoes from every corner.

"I'm coming !!", Cloud shouts back. A boot steps heard from upstairs, stepping every stair steps to the way down. It is Cloud. He looks better than before after took a bath.

"Hi, everybody…", Cloud greets the others as he walks to the table. He then gives a quick kiss to Tifa's forehead and smiles to her lovingly. Tifa's cheeks turn to crimson red. She has never been treated like this by Cloud. So far Cloud keeps nice and caring to her, but this time, he is nicer to her. Deep inside her heart, she feels happy that her dreams come true.

"Well, looks like the meal's ready..", Cloud says as he takes a seat on chair next to Tifa.

"Hmm…looks good", he stares for a moment to meals on table, "..smells good, too…". He then picks a meal into his dish, and puts it in his mouth. Everybody, except Barrett and Cloud are holding their breath to see what happens next. Barrett only grins to Cloud while Cloud is munching his food. After swallowing his food, Cloud's expression turns to unreadable one, and this makes the others (except Barrett) grows more curious. Tifa squeezes Cloud's hand and looks to him in worried look to see whether he is alright.

"Unbelievable !!", Cloud's words spits out at last. His face shows a satisfied expression.

"This meal is VERY delicious !! Barrett, you are a great chef !! I never thought you can do this !!", Cloud exclaims. Barrett's grin goes broader as he feels that he is the winner of the day. The other drops their jaws, mouth opened. Disbelief. They cannot believe for what they see, what they smell, and now for what they hear from Cloud. Slowly, one by one takes a meal into their own dishes and eats it carefully as if they think that Cloud's tongue goes wrong. Soon afterward, they find out that there is nothing wrong with Cloud's tongue. His just has normal functionality as theirs do.

For the third reason, they can not believe for what they taste. It is too good to be true.

………………

Shera is doing house-cleaning of Cid's house in Rocket Town. She is a truly housewife indeed, if Cid really marries her. She cleans every corner of the house, leaving no room for dust to stay. She is also a neat person. She rearranges everything that seems disorder. She is sweeping the floor when she hears a knock on the door. From the way it sounds, obviously that is not Cid.

It is …too polite, she thinks. She grows curious since there are not many guests coming around these days.

The knocking sound echoes again. Shera is walking toward the door in hurry. She has no heart to let her guest to stand outside for so long. Slowly, she opens the door and then her eyes meet a figure that makes her step back in awe and surprise.

"Hi, Shera….how are you ?", the guest greets her. Shera just stands still in her spot. Amazed.

"No…it can't be…Is…is…it…real ??", those are the only words spitted out from her mouth, with an amazing tone.

"Yes, very real, indeed", the guest replies, smiling.

"Oh…God, there you are….Aeris !!!!", Shera hugs her guest tightly. Her guest, Aeris, hugs Shera back and smiles.

"I can't believe this happened !", Shera cries out happily. She lets her tears of happiness flows over her cheek. Aeris' heart is touched knowing that Shera is crying for her. She has deep respect to Shera, and she also hopes that Shera will accept her.

"Cid has told what happened to you, and I was very sad before, but now, you are standing here, in my hug, breathing and alive !", Shera's body chokes as she holds her sudden outburst.

Aeris pats Shera in her back, Shera hugs her so tight that she gasps for air. Realizing that, Shera breaks her hug and looks at Aeris. Aeris' eyes are watering with tears, too. She never thinks that someone will welcome her with warmest greeting.

"Come in, Aeris…come in..", Shera pulls Aeris' hand to let her into her house. As Aeris steps in, she then watches the inside from corner to corner.

It is not changed very much, she thinks.

"Well…this is the house of the mechanic-man…always messy and full of things, I just try to keep it clean and neat…", Shera makes gesture for Aeris to sit on the couch at the corner.

After Aeris sits, Shera then goes to kitchen to prepare a tea for the guest.

"So…I guess either Cid lied to me or a miracle has happened to see you back to life", Shera opens conversation after she hands over the tea to Aeris. Her tears are now drying. She can not hide her joy of Aeris' coming.

"It's the latter", Aeris giggles and drinks her tea. "You know, Shera, Cid cannot lie to you, he may be rude in the way he speaks his words, but I know that he has heart for you…", Aeris teases Shera. Shera blushes a bit. For a woman at her age, Shera is still interesting woman. Her beauty is still depicted on her face, as well as her grace.

"Well, Shera…you may not believe on what you will hear after this, but I am telling the truth. May I tell my stories now ?", Aeris asks Shera. Shera nods for agreement. She is very curious on what really happened out there. Then, Aeris' story begins. Shera pays her attention to every word from Aeris. She watches her guest with concerned look.

Aeris takes a deep breath after she finishes the story. Shera still looks at her with concerned look.

"What a miracle…", Shera whispers," and also a struggle…". She then continues her words,

"So, since your revival, you tried to find Cloud and the others to warn about Sephiroth. You have traveled to Kalm…well…they were there, actually, but they have moved to another city a few months ago...Now you came here".

"Yes, thanks to circus group I met in Kalm. They are conducting their show here, so I could take a ride with them. About Cloud and the other's presence, I concluded that they were not in Kalm anymore after I had stayed a week in Kalm", Aeris responses. "I know time is the essence, so I decided to go here".

"Why ?", Shera asks. She has no idea why Aeris looks for the others here, in Rocket Town.

"Shera, I know there is only slight chance that they are here, but if they are not here, like this now, then, at least by finding you, I can find the way to contact them instead wandering around every place like I did before", Aeris explains her reason.

"Hmm…you are right, Aeris", Shera nods as agreement to her. "Okay, and about Sephiroth…do you know his whereabouts ?".

Aeris replies by shaking her head. "I have no clue at all", she adds her reply.

"That'll be a problem for sure", Shera rubs her chin. She then stands up from her couch and pats Aeris on the shoulder.

"All right. I will contact them with my PHS. I hope they are not too busy to accept my call". Shera walks into her room and backs to Aeris with PHS in her hand.

"Now let's see if this works….", Shera mumbles as she pushes a series of number.

Back to Midgar, behind Neo 7th Heaven, Cid is sitting on his chair, facing his working bench, fixing a device. He is cursing all the times.

"What a $#$*&@ thing !!!", he slams the table. He mutters some inaudible words to himself as he let a screw slips away from his finger. "Where is that f@(-@$$ thing ?? ". He grumbles again.

"..and..oh…these &$^*#&* twisting cables !!!" .

"ARRRGGGGHHH !!!", finally Cid cries in mad. "I don't want to fix this $#@#^! thing right now !!". He runs his hand through his hair. He sweeps a sweat that falls from his forehead. Cid pulls out his cigar from his front pocket and ignites it. He has been struggling with this broken device for an hour, and now he is taking a rest.

Cloud and Cait Sith suddenly come up.

"What's the matter Cid ?", Cloud asks Cid.

"I was fixing this one…I found out that some #%@#% parts must be replaced, they are worn out…", Cid replies. Cait Sith takes a look on that thing carefully.

"Is that our PHS ?", he asks. Cid only nods his head.

"I hope there is nothing important out there that must be transmitted via PHS", Cloud speaks to ease Cid. Cid gazes at Cloud for a moment, then let himself take a breath.

"We hope so, kid…".

Shera has tried to call the others via her PHS for more than thirty times, but still no response. She sighs, throws herself on the couch and throws her face to Aeris. In her couch, Aeris is still hoping that Shera will succeed in making call to Cloud or other member. Shera catches a glimpse of Aeris' hope in her eyes.

"I'll try one more again…", she says and dials a number.

Please…let this work…Shera prays in her mind.

After some seconds go by, Shera shrugs her shoulder and gives Aeris a surrender look, at least for this time. Aeris knows her sign. She sighs.

"Well…don't push yourself too hard, Shera…We may call them later", Aeris tries to ease Shera. She doesn't want Shera to have guilty feeling for her failure to contact The Avalanche.

"I guess their PHS is out of order right now...", Shera explains. "We can only wait and hope they fix their PHS as soon as possible".

"Is there any other way to contact them ?", Aeris asks Shera, trying to explore another alternative. Shera shakes her head slowly.

"At this time,…no", her words come faintly. Aeris' face grows sad to hear Shera's reply. Her head hangs down. They keep silent for some seconds.

"There is no other way to contact them at this time, but there is a way to reach them…", Shera says again," and in the fastest way", she finishes her words. Aeris suddenly gives Shera a hopeful look. Her emerald green eyes spark again.

"Really ? How ?", she is getting curious to know that there is another way.

Shera stands from her couch and says, "They are in Midgar now, and Cid thought it was too risky to leave Highwind there, so he left his airship right here…", she looks at Aeris contently.

Aeris cuts off Shera by jumping from her couch in a sudden.

"That's grreeeaatt !!!", she cries with joy. Her eyes spark brighter. "but…how to…um…make Highwind takes us there ?", she looks at Shera as she realizes an important point.

Shera laughs softly and replies, "It is easy, actually…you just stand still inside Highwind, and I do the rest !".

"Yes !!". Aeris jumps again joyfully. She feels like a dark cloud has gone from her mind, replaced by warm sunlight. "Thank you very much, Shera, you've been very helpful !", Aeris holds Shera's hands. Shera just smiles.

"You are welcome, Aeris. Now, let me and aircrew prepare The Highwind. It may take a whole day, so you can take a rest here. You must be tired after your long journey. We'll depart by next morning !"

Dusk at Midgar. Cloud watches the sunset from his room. In his hand, a small red box is held. He opens it carefully and sees its inside. He smiles for a moment, and then closes the box. This time he does not put the box back to his drawer like he did in the morning, instead he puts it inside his pant pocket. He clenches his fist and bit his lower lip.

I must settle this thing, once and for all…

It is starry night at Rocket Town. The night sky is decorated beautifully with sparkling stars. The wind blows softly. Aeris is sitting on the grass outside Shera's house. She watches the sky with amazement. Since her revival, she has never looked at the starry sky anymore like she used to. She was always in rush to find Cloud every night. She worried about other's safety all these times, and now she still does, but this time makes difference. Now, there is nothing she can do. All she can do is waiting for tomorrow, when she and Shera will be going to Midgar with Highwind. She leaves everything to Shera for Highwind preparation. She trusts Shera that the woman will not fail her. Aeris does not feel lonely again in her struggle. She has found helpful Shera on her side. For return of Shera's help, Aeris has cooked a delicious dinner for her. Now Shera is taking a refreshing shower after Highwind preparation is completed.

Aeris is gazing at stars when she feels her shoulder patted gently. She looks back, and finds Shera smiling nicely to her. Shera is now in her night dress and her appearance now looks different. All the day she was wearing mechanic dress and it hid her grace and feminine attitude perfectly.  Now, she is wearing a silk night dress and Aeris feels like seeing a beautiful and graceful angel.

Aeris smiles back to Shera. Shera sits down on grass next to Aeris. She then hangs her head up to the sky, looking at beautiful night sky. They just keep silent, enjoying their own time. Their mind wander everywhere, reach every place, every moment, every person that involved in their respective lives.

"The sky…it is beautiful, isn't it ?", Aeris' voice breaks the silence. Without leaving her attention to the sky, Shera replies, "Yes, it is beautiful". Silence wraps them again.

"Shera…", Aeris' voice comes again, " do you mind if I tell you about death, especially my death ?".

Shera replies," No..not at all, I want to know more about it, too".

"Well..", Aeris takes a breath, gazes to sky again," it was scaring me when I realized that Sephiroth had stabbed me….I felt my soul was torn from my body slowly…I grew limp…I felt hard to breath. I saw my flashback memories at that time…and my heart felt pain…".

Shera now turns her face to Aeris. She sees an angel with sad face.

"I was just waiting for my soul to totally torn apart, Shera, and it felt like waiting for thousand years…I was very scared…Until I met a pair of eyes looked at me with sad, but caring and lovingly look….It was his eyes that eased me, without him, I doubted that I could rest in peace….".

Aeris gives a short sigh. She will never forget that moment. The moment she felt peace in her love's arms.

"After that, I didn't remember anything at all. I just awoke in strange place, where green strands flew over, anywhere. Soon after that, I realized that I was in Lifestream…It was just a step ahead to go to Promised Land, but I felt that my duty wasn't over yet…so I stood in Lifestream to watch over my friends. They fought their way to defeat that Sephiroth, and when Meteor came, Holy came at the right moment to confront its match…but Holy wasn't strong enough to destroy Meteor. At that time I knew my final duty…I called Lifestream to help Holy destroy Meteor…and we did it…"

Aeris smiles. She recalls her moments of glory. Shera is still listening to her.

"That was my miraculous day, but soon after that, I felt lonely…alone…I met my ex-boyfriend in Lifestream (Author : please read my first fanfic : Live Forever for this part.. ^_^), but I still felt lonely…"

"Is that because of him ?", Shera suddenly asks a question. She doesn't mention who does word 'him' refers to particular person, but Aeris knows that Shera knows what she means.

Aeris nods slowly.

"That's right…it's because of him…and that doesn't change since that…Until one day when I suddenly revived, and up to now, sits next to you", Aeris finishes her story, smiles to Shera.

"He means so much to you, right ?", Shera teases Aeris.

"He is my reason to live again, Shera….", Aeris blushes. Shera chuckles softly. Aeris continues," but now I don't even know how he is, or even how he feels..".

"But you'll meet him tomorrow, don't you happy with that ?", Shera asks Aeris. She feels that Aeris hides something from her. She should be happy that she will meet her love, but she still seems hesitate about something.

"What is it, Aeris ? Does something bother you ?", Shera now is asking Aeris with a caring tone, like mother to her daughter.

Aeris removes her hair strands from her face.

"You are lucky to have Cid…", she mumbles. Shera smiles and reaches Aeris' shoulder. She knows that even Aeris mentions Cid, it does not mean she is in love with Cid (Author : how cruel it'd be !! it won't be happened in my fanfics !! I promise !! ), instead she is trying to change topic to hide her uneasiness.

"Cid will surely love you and take you as his wife someday, I am sure about this, Shera, that's why I said you were lucky to have Cid…", Aeris' eyes brims with tears," and me ? I am not even sure that he will be happy to see me alive ! If it's not because of Sephiroth, I will not meet him face to face…To him, I was presumed dead, why should he long for a dead person ? I wasn't even sure about how his feeling to me when I was alive…".

Aeris sobs, she closes her face with her hands. Shera holds her warmly, gives her a calming hug. It eases Aeris a little, she chokes for a moment, then continues,

"When I was in Lifestream, I told him to move on with the woman that loved him very much…I did that because I loved him so much that I didn't want to see him wasting his life in loneliness…But now, since I am alive again, my hope to him is coming back…and I can't stand to see whatever will happen if we meet face to face tomorrow…What if he doesn't love me ? What if he doesn't want to see me ? What if he is already with someone ? What if….*sob*..I can't stand it, Shera…I can't stand it any longer…"

Tears are now flowing intensely on Aeris' cheeks. Shera hugs her tighter, eases her. She lets Aeris crying. From Aeris' side, she now finds another shoulder to cry on, and she feels peaceful in Shera's hug. Shera treats her like daughter, and it makes Aeris comfortable. She likes to tell Shera everything about her feeling, her joy, her sadness, her dreams, her hope. Everything. She does not feel lonely anymore.

After Aeris' cry ceases, Shera releases her hug and looks at Aeris with mother-caring look.

"Aeris, may I tell you something ?", Shera asks to Aeris. Aeris nods for agreement. She feels better now. Shera speaks her words slowly,

"I will surely be a cruel person if I were to say 'You must face the truth' or other sentence like that to you. No. I won't say anything like that right now. You know, Aeris, I was very shocked to see how desperate you are, like this. You were used to be a sweet, cheerful, caring, and innocent girl. You always tried to cheer up others. But now, here you are, in the most terrible form I ever see…", Shera smiles to Aeris. She speaks again in softer voice, "I knew from the start that you hid something that hurt your heart badly. No matter how tough you are, you are still young woman. You deserve a better life. You had been granted chance to live your life again. I hope you can do it better…and to be better, you must overcome your obstacles. To overcome the obstacles, you must listen carefully to your true heart…you cannot cheat your true heart, Aeris…you can't…Trust me, with that, you will learn a lot from life…let your true heart finds its way, let it goes, but don't forget to follow it as well, and you will find your life…"

Aeris listens to Shera's every words carefully. She feels in peace now. Shera really understands her.

"And now…", Shera continues," will you come with me tomorrow to meet the others or not ?".

"Yes, I will come with you…", Aeris replies faintly.

"And why do you want to come with me ?", Shera chases Aeris with question.

"Because I want to warn the others about Sephiroth and any possible threats ahead", Aeris replies, but hesitation is still depicted on her face.

Shera raises her left brow with meaningful smile to Aeris.

"Is that all ?", she inquiries Aeris again, still with meaningful smile on her face.

"Err…umm…", Aeris blushes, but smile is forming in her beautiful face. "Well, I can't cheat my heart like you said, Shera….I..also…want to….meet…him…", Aeris' voice trails off. Her face turns red, but smile on her face goes wider.

"So be it !!", Shera laughs and hugs Aeris again. Aeris giggles. She feels very happy now. Shera has helped her again. This time, Shera has released Aeris' burden a lot. Aeris feels she has an unpaid debt to Shera.

Shera is a great woman, Cid, you are lucky…Aeris thinks to herself. They laugh together. After that, they stand and walk toward house.

Cid, I miss you…Shera plays her mind around Cid's image.

Cloud, I will see you tomorrow….Aeris lets her mind flies to the image of her beloved one.

AUTHOR'S POST-CHAPTER NOTE :

Ahemm…I put a little "humor spice" in this chapter, but I also put a "melancholic pasta" one at the end (of this chapter). I never thought that this chapter will end like this, but personally, I like it. Hopefully you readers enjoy it too !