Chapter 9

STRANDS OF THE PAST

The other party members except Aeris, Tifa, and Cloud are waiting outside bedroom where Cloud and two girls are inside. Red XIII has explained to the others about the situation. Listening to Red XIII story, they now become more worried. Surely, they haven't found anything to counter Sephiroth yet, but their foe has screwed them up by controlling Cloud. Thanks to Tifa, Cloud has been defeated, he is no longer dangerous. However, they must admit that Sephiroth has won this time.

"So that &#$^&@$$ has done something bad to that spikey-kid again !", Cid curses and shouts all the times. He is really mad that he could lost his watch on Cloud. He should has known from past experience that they should not underestimate Sephiroth's mind intrusion to Cloud. Cid feels less hopeful. Now, all he can do is sitting on the couch, waiting for Cloud to awake, while smoking his favorite cigar.

Barrett is quieter this time. He just stands and folds his arms in front of his chest. His face is turned down. He is very concerned to know that everything has gone worse. To him, he knows time is the essence.

"Hey, calm down, old man !", Cait Sith shouts to Cid. The riding-big mog- cat is in no different state compared to Cid. He never thought something like before can be happened again.

"Cid has right to worry", Yuffie exclaims, then she adds a question, "After all, what do we have to fight against Sephiroth ?". Nobody answers Yuffie's question, yet nobody sounds after all. Everybody think in unison : they still have no clue to settle this matter. It is Red's voice that breaks the silence, "At least, I and Aeris have learned something through our research, we…I…didn't pay attention too much at that time, but somehow I feel that we have found something important that we never realized before, and I need to talk with Aeris".

"Is she still inside ?", Cait Sith asks. The others only nod as reply. Yuffie points her thumb to room where Cloud lays unconsciously.

"What took them so long ? Is dat Cloud guy still out of cold ?", Barrett pops up with question directed to the others. Yuffie, as she feels being asked, only shrugs her shoulder. They look at the bedroom's door, wondering what happens inside : two girls with the man they both love.

Tifa hides her hand quickly as she knows Aeris looks at her hand with a shocked expression. Aeris, after regains control of herself, manages to act as if nothing matters to her, but Tifa can still see her best friend's sorrowful expression. Tifa hangs her head down, her eyes stick to a spot on room's corner. She has no idea what to say. Aeris is absolutely her love-rival, and it makes Tifa think that she must be proud to show Aeris that Cloud has proposed her, and it means she's won.  From the other side, Aeris is indeed her best friend as well, that is why she does not want to hurt her feeling. She just cannot do that. Tifa keeps quiet for a moment, she hopes that she didn't hit Cloud too hard so he can be awaken now to avert Tifa from this circumstance.

Aeris, realizing that she is very sure that she saw an engagement ring on Tifa's finger, now feels downhearted. Her heart is really torn apart. Her memory with Cloud plays in her mind again,

( on their first meeting) Would you like a flower ? It's only one gil

………….

( inside Midgar church) How about a date with me for payment as being my bodyguard ?

………….

( on seeing Highwind for the first time) Ooh, how wonderful that thing ! Cloud, promise me to take on ride on that someday !

…………

( on a date at Gold Saucer) Cloud, don't you like being with me ?

…………..

(inside Gondola ride at Gold Saucer) Cloud, I want to…meet..you…

………….

( inside Ancient Cave) Cait Sith, I want to know my fortune with Cloud !

Aeris does not have clue what to do, nor what to say. She just stares at Cloud who is still laying unconsciously. She knows how Tifa felt toward Cloud, and she knows also how Tifa knew her feeling too. She never knew how Cloud's heart to her when she was alive, but she felt that he gave her special affection, as well as she gave him sign that she had a feeling for him. It made her heart joy as if she would have had him, until her death. She already knew her fate, and she had accepted it. Now, she is alive, and she still hopes for Cloud's love, but it all went into void when she knew that the one she loves has proposed her best friend instead of her. She cannot blame anyone or anything. This is her fate : Aeris loses him, again. There is nothing she can do. She just sits quietly, not even a sigh comes out from her mouth. Slowly, her tears are poured down. Aeris feels really deserted. Everything has gone unfair to her. She deserves nothing, not even her love. She is alone. All alone.

"I…I am sorry, Tifa…", Aeris speaks faintly. Her tears are still watering her eyes. "I….acted as if I was blind, I…just treated him…with my way, abandoning you…", she continues her words. Tifa still keeps quiet. She is not angry with Aeris or getting mad. She just doesn't know whether this is right. Somehow, her heart tells her that it should be her saying words she just heard to Aeris, but she cannot bear to lose Cloud.

"You…you must love him very much, don't you ?", Aeris asks Tifa. She knows the answer definitely.

"Y..Yes…with all my heart….", Tifa replies slowly, "..but don't you have the same…feeling…too ?". Tifa finishes her words carefully. Aeris manages to smile to Tifa. She really wants to cheer up her friend, but this time she is really hurt in her heart.

"We ever confessed this to each other before, right ?", she responses to Tifa. Smile is still depicted on her face, but it's much more to hide her pain. Tifa knows it for sure. Aeris stands up from her seat. Still smiling to Tifa, she speaks,

"Then I must congratulate you. You are getting married with Cloud, and I hope it will be happened soon". Tifa now stares at her with unreadable face expression. To her eyes, she sees Aeris in graceful way, smiling at her as if the emerald green eyes tell her that everything is alright. Tifa only nods. She still cannot say anything. Slowly, Aeris spins her body and walks toward door. Before reaches the door, Aeris turns her face to Tifa for a moment and says,

"Don't worry about me, Tifa, I'll be alright…", she pauses for a moment, then continues with low voice, "just take care of Cloud…for me…", she hangs her head down, fights back her own tears, and then opens the door before her and steps outside room.

Tifa watches Aeris all the way. She shakes her head.

I must have hurt her feeling deeply…poor Aeris…Tifa lets her mind speak.

Aeris…you really care for the others…but you don't want the others know how your heart…you can't hide it forever, Aeris…still, you are so mysterious…

Tifa's mind-monologue is stopped abruptly to notice Cloud's moaning. Tifa moves her body closer to Cloud. Cloud's mouth is like mumbling something. His eye lids are opened slowly. After his eyes are completely opened, Cloud lets a little sigh from his mouth. He touches his bruised cheek and finds out it is still hurt.

"Wh…where…am I ?", Cloud suddenly pops up a question with weak voice.

"Cloud…are you alright ?", Tifa sweeps his hair, her voice is full of joy knowing that her Cloud is back. His body and his mind. He is no longer under control. Tifa hugs him with a lighthearted feeling. Being suddenly hugged, Cloud coughes as his lungs cry for air.

"Cloud ! Thanks God you're back !!", Tifa cries out happily.

"Back ? From where ??", Cloud is still confused about what's going on. Tifa seems to ignore his question. She just hugs Cloud tightly. Her happy tears are formed in her eyes.

"Awww…be careful, Tifa ! You hurt me !", Cloud cries back. Tifa releases her hug, and grins to him. "I am sorry, I am just too excited…", she speaks to Cloud. Cloud tries to sit up from his sleeping position. After he gains his position, he looks at Tifa. From Cloud's eyes, it can be told that he wants to know what happened. Before he says anything, Tifa hugs him again. Cloud cannot help but to let Tifa expresses her feeling.

"Hey, kid ! You're awake !!", Cid's voice is echoing on the room as the door is slammed open suddenly. The others now are standing in front of room with a joyful expression, including Aeris, but somehow Cloud sees something strange in Aeris.

"You made us worry, Cloud", Vincent's cool tone comes up. "Yo man ! Vincent's right ! From what we're told, ya were scrumbled up !", Barrett adds. Cloud now becomes more confused. He looks at the others, and to Tifa.

"Someone…please…explain to me..okay ?", he cannot stand anymore. Cloud then says, "I don't know what happened, I just felt pain inside my head, and then here I am, wake up, and gosh…my face is bruised badly !"

Tifa giggles. She cannot hide her laugh. Cloud becomes more confused.

"Everyone, calm down, please", Red XIII shows up and walks toward Cloud. He then sits in front of Cloud and says, "I'll tell the story". Cloud nods his head. He must know what happened.

……………

"Gee…you really hit me hard, didn't you, Tifa ?", Cloud exclaims after Red XIII finishes the story.

"Hey, you told me to do that first !", Tifa defends herself, she giggles. Cloud scratches his head and says, "Really ? I can't remember…well…if it so…". His face now becomes serious. He stands up slowly and walks toward window. As he gazes outside, he recalls his past experience when he was under Sephiroth's control in the past.

Was that Sephiroth that take over my mind ? How come ? But that feeling…I never forget that…that is the same feeling when I was driven by him, Cloud speaks in his mind. He compares his past experience with current condition. He cannot find explanation how Sephiroth can do that again.

I wonder how Sephiroth did that even though he was away from them, or was he ? Was it really him ? So far, we only rely on Aeris' story that Sephiroth is back. We don't even meet him yet, but I trust Aeris. She is far from being an emotional person. She is Cetra, after all, and Planet could speak to her. Now, if I was to have doubt on her, how could I explain the incident that just happened to me ? 

Cloud takes a deep breath and spins his body to face the others. Cloud speaks, "I have no doubt now that Sephiroth is back although we haven't faced him…physically". The others nod for agreement. Cloud the continues, "The worst thing is : we still haven't reached our purpose to find clue against him".

"That may not be right, Cloud", a female voice cuts off his word. Cloud looks at the voice owner. Aeris. She comes out from the others and stands next to Red XIII. 

"Red, did you tell me when we were in library, that Cetras could do such…wonders ?", she asks Red. Red replies, "Yes, but what is so strange about that ? We have seen it from you".

Aeris responses, "Yes, for some things, but like I told you, Red, I haven't known everything about my race yet, thus it means there could be some more about Cetra's abilities. Tell me more what you've read, Red, we need to know".

Red XIII closes his eyes to recall what he has read. He then speaks, "Alright. From what I read, Cetra basically could do magic without Materia. More, they could call Holy with White Materia. What else…oh, Cetra could also summon Lifestream and talk to Planet, too. Well, that's exactly what you have done, Aeris…I wonder if there could be anymore you could do". 

Aeris stares at Red XIII with exciting look. She then says, "Red, when you mentioned Lifestream, Holy, Planet….I guess I find something".

The others now look at Aeris with hoping look. Aeris has said something that may be a way out of this problem. Aeris explains to the others,

"We all know that we have destroyed Meteor before with Holy and help from Lifestream. Holy could be summoned because Planet knew it was a threat, and I could summon Lifestream because Planet needed another force to defend it. Now, as Sephiroth is back, although we don't know how and where he is now, Planet still sees him as a threat. Doesn't this mean we could ask for Holy again ?"

The others now get the idea. Aeris' point is clear : to eliminate Sephiroth, they can use Holy.

"But there is one thing I doubt at most", Aeris cuts off everyone's mind, "say, if we use Holy against Sephiroth, although he will be killed, he will be back to Lifestream again like before, and with his Jenova cells, he will surely escape from Lifestream again". After she finishes her words, Aeris takes a look at her surrounding for any response from her friends.

"I don't get it", Vincent responses coldly, "We have defeated Sephiroth by physical fight before, and now you plan to defeat him with Holy ? For what purpose ? It's not a matter how we defeat him, it is what will be happened after that really matters."

"You are right, Vincent…how about that, Aeris ?", Cloud agrees with Vincent and asks Aeris. Aeris bites her lips and replies with a rather hesitant tone,

"I know that, the really matter is Lifestream itself, but I found from one book that Lifestream is not a constant thing, if you know what I mean".

Cloud raises his brow as a sign of confusion and curiousity. The others are looked the same. Aeris continues her words, "It said that Lifestream can adapt itself to its surrounding. It's not something I really know, actually, but the book told Lifestream could learn from its past experience…"

"Past experience ??", the others asks in unison.

"Yes", Aeris replies. "Lifestream, in our term, is blood of The Planet. Its function is to support Planet properly. According to the book, there were many changes happened to The Planet from earlier ages up to now, and within that time, Lifestream follows those changes so it can still support Planet right now. I don't know what changes mentioned there, but from that, I conclude that Lifestream could learn from its experience and perform new things it could not do before". Aeris pauses to take a breath, then continues, 

"Cloud, you said that you saw with your eyes that Sephiroth was dissipated into Lifestream on your last fight before, and we all thought that Sephiroth was totally banished by Lifestream, but we now know it was wrong, and hopefully, Lifestream learned a lesson from that. If it did, then we could hope that it would not did the same again". 

"And how we could be so sure about that ? Or, most important, how Lifestream do that ?", Cait Sith cuts off Aeris abruptly. Aeris takes a look at the cat-like creature and shakes her head. She then replies, "Unfortunately, I don't know, but somehow…I have feeling that I will know it sooner".

"And within dat time, Sephiroth will surely grow stronger !", Barrett's gruff voice accentuates his complaint. "Calm down, Barrett !", Cloud says to Barrett rather harsh, but in wise tone, "Don't you all think that we rely too much on Aeris ? She herself doesn't even know what to do next. She needs time to think ! We are all in rush, but we should give her time !".

Barrett becomes quiet after Cloud encounters him. After Cloud finishes his words, he then asks to Aeris, "Aeris, you said that you knew something about Lifestream, isn't it a good idea to ask The Planet about that ?".

Aeris replies, "I am not sure about that. Since I was away from Ancient Temple, I could not talk to Planet anymore. It could only give me sign, but can only be felt. I have tried to talk to Planet many times before, but no luck on that. Guess we have to go back to Ancient Temple if we are going to have conversation with Planet".

Cloud nods his head and clenches his fist. He concludes, "Then, we should go to Ancient Temple by tomorrow !". The others agree with him and nod their heads. They have to solve this Lifestream riddle.

"Whatever you say, boss ! It's just like old times !" Cid says while pulls out another cigar.

"Now we should take a rest, it's getting late", Cloud advises his friends. "You are right, Cloud, I am so sleepy now…", Yuffie yawns. After that, everyone dismiss to their own rooms except Cid. He chooses to go back to Highwind since Shera is waiting there. As Tifa walks, she hears Cloud calls her.

"Tifa…",

"Yes, Cloud ?", Tifa turns herself around and catches Cloud gazes at her.

"Thank you, Tifa, you saved my life…again…", Cloud speaks his words with caring look to Tifa. Tifa smiles, she walks closer to her fiancee and gives a caring kiss on his cheek.

"You are welcome…my fiancee…", Tifa laughs a little after she kisses Cloud. She then turns back and walks to her room. Cloud smiles with full of contentment to her.

It is midnight and very quiet. Everyone has been sleeping, except for one person. That night, Aeris cannot sleep well. Her thought is filled with everything that happened so far. Now everyone depends on her. She cannot let herself fail. Was she failed, the price is too high to pay. She really hopes that she will be able to communicate with Planet in Ancient Temple to "discuss" her findings. She still feels Sephiroth's presence, but it is weak. It means Sephiroth is still far from them, yet she has no idea how Sephiroth could penetrate Cloud's mind.

Is Sephiroth stronger now ? What is he up to ? Aeris asks herself. Everyone now rely on me, I cannot let them down. I have to fight. I have to struggle….but can I do that ? Things seem to be different than before now…I just hope that everything will be fine, it must be…and about Cloud…*sigh*…do I have to remember him now ? I don't even want to know anything about him anymore…especially if it relates to Tifa…it hurts me so much…

Aeris' heart is mixed with various feelings : worry, hope, love, jealousy, sadness. She even cannot close her eyes now. With a sigh, Aeris gets down from her bed, wears her night sandals and walks outside room. She doesn't bother to tie her hair as usual. She doesn't even think about that. After she steps outside her room and finds nobody there, she continues her steps to outside of house to catch night wind. There, outside the house, she finds a figure of man, standing outside, gazing to the night sky above. The man folds his hands in front of his chest. He doesn't seem to notice Aeris. He just stands solemnly.

"Can't sleep well ?", Aeris greets the man with question. The man turns his face to Aeris and becomes a bit surprised to meet her there. Aeris can tell from his eyes that he is glad to see her.

"Do you know that you should take a rest, Cloud ?", Aeris asks the man, Cloud, again. Cloud only nods, and he gazes to the sky again.

"The night sky…so beautiful with those stars…", he mumbles. Aeris now takes a step and stands next to him. She is greeted by the wind that blows to her face, plays her untied hair. Aeris now follows what Cloud does, gazing to the sky. They both stand in silence. Somehow, Aeris enjoys this moment. Suddenly, she cries as her eyes catch a glimpse of sparkling light in the sky,

"Wow ! Cloud ! Look at that ! A falling stars !", Aeris points her finger to a long curve of white spark in the sky. She then continues, "People said that if you wish upon falling star, their wish will come true !".

Cloud turns his face to Aeris and responses, "Then make a wish…". Aeris grins to him, and nods her head. She closes her eyes, clasps her hand in prayer, and says, "My wish is….the world is saved again, and everyone is happy,…especially you, Cloud…". Aeris' voice trails off as she finishes her wish and opens her eyes. When Aeris made a wish, Cloud looked at her carefully and realized how beautiful she was. Now after Aeris opens her eyes, Cloud still stares at her with awe, and it makes her blush.

"Aww…come on, Cloud, don't look at me like that…", she pleads to Cloud with playful tone, still blushing. Cloud laughs a little. He feels his burden to save the world is subsided. Everytime he is near Aeris, he always gets feeling that everything will be fine. This time is no exception. With his finger, he removes some of Aeris' hair strands from her beautiful face.

"Your hair is untied…just like…just like…when I buried you", Cloud speaks with low voice. His mind flies to the event where he had to lay her in Ancient Temple lake. It was a sad and unforgettable memory.

"But now here I am, breathing, and alive, next to you", Aeris responses lightheartedly. She then says, "To be honest, I can't still believe that we are in journey like those old times…and…". Aeris' words is cut off by Cloud's finger placed on her lips. Aeris looks at Cloud with questioning look. Cloud gives a gesture with his hand, telling her not to talk nor move. He then reaches his front pocket and pulls out something from it with trembling hand. It is a pink hair ribbon. Aeris cannot believe her very eyes. She is very familiar with that ribbon. It is hers, or exactly, it WAS hers.

"You were there, Aeris, at grassland near Kalm, weren't you ?", Cloud asks Aeris while places the ribbon on Aeris' palm. He smiles at her meaningfully, but he seems a bit nervous. Aeris looks at her hair ribbon and then looks at Cloud. She has dropped it from world of Lifestream, and somehow, it was embodied again in living world, Cloud's world (Author : ahemm…please read Live Forever for this). To her, the most surprising thing is the fact that Cloud kept her hair ribbon all the time.

He always remembers me, he didn't ignore me at all, he…why ? Does he love me ? If he does, why didn't he tell me ? Is it because of Tifa ?  Those questions pop up inside Aeris mind. Her eyes still stick on Cloud's nervous face.

"Please wear it again tomorrow, Aeris…". Those are only words from Cloud. He then turns his face to the sky again, hiding his guilty feeling toward Tifa again. At that time, Aeris really wants to hug him, kisses him, tells him that she loves him very much, but she cannot do that. Cloud now belongs to Tifa, and she just cannot treat him with her way like the past. She knows it will hurt Tifa's feeling, but fighting her own feeling to Cloud also hurts her. Aeris' eyes are slowly brimmed with tears. This makes Cloud confused, and as he is going to ask her, Aeris caresses her hand to Cloud's cheek and says,

"Cloud, when I wished to the falling star, I really meant it, Cloud…I want everyone to be happy, but what I want at most is your happiness…". Aeris pauses, then continues, "Why didn't you tell me that you and Tifa were engaged ?". Cloud is surprised being questioned such a question by Aeris. His lips are about to say something, but Aeris speaks again, "I knew that when I was waiting with Tifa while you were unconscious. Don't say anything right now, Cloud, you don't need to…Cait Sith was wrong…We cannot be together..You are supposed to be with Tifa…go with her, Cloud, don't worry about me…". Aeris tries to fight back her tears. On another circumstance, she could do that, but this time, she fails to do that. Her tears are flowing freely through her cheeks.

"Aeris…", Cloud murmurs. He never sees Aeris crying like this before. He knows Aeris as a cheerful and caring person. Knowing that Aeris becomes like this, he thinks something must hurt her heart deeply.

Why is she like this ? I never see her like this…and the way she talked to me,…does she…love me ? Cloud's mind is filled with those questions.

He doesn't ever think thing like this will be happened. He doesn't even want this to be happened, since this will make his heart hesitate, but the fact tells him the truth. He has to face this : Aeris loves her, and that is something he never consider so far.

Aeris still caresses Cloud's cheek gently. Cloud holds Aeris' hand on his cheek. She manages to smile at him, but she finds it is too hard. She wants him, but she cannot reach him. Aeris wishes this moment could last for a little longer so she can carve it into her heart because she cannot have moment like this with her love anymore.

Just a little longer, please, just a little longer…Aeris prays in her heart. Slowly, she leans her face towards Cloud's chest. This makes Cloud more nervous. He doesn't know what to do, he just lets Aeris' face come closer to him. Slowly, Aeris rests her head to Cloud's chest. She then puts her arms around his neck. Cloud hugs her back. Aeris feels Cloud's arm wraps around her, and she wants to savor this moment for eternity. She has lost him again, to her best friend. She always dreams about moment like this, and now her dream comes true, but in a different situation. She can only have this chance to be in his embrace. Tomorrow, she will not be able to do that. He will be leaving her to someone else who loves him also.

As Cloud regains his composure, he feels like his heart is debating. He really wants to relieve Aeris, tells her that he loves her too, but he cannot betray his feeling to Tifa. Slowly, Cloud releases his hug and stares at her. He doesn't say anything, but Aeris knows from his eyes how he cares about her deeply, but she also notices a sadness and uncertainty in his eyes. With a soft gentle motion, Cloud sweeps Aeris' tear from her cheek. His eyes point to a pair of emerald green eyes.

"Aeris, get back to your room for some sleep…you'll need strength for tomorrow", Cloud's heavy voice gets out from his mouth. Aeris lets a 'hem' word comes out as reply. Slowly she turns back and goes inside the house. Before she enters the house, she gives Cloud a smile like she did before while on Highwind.

Thank you, Cloud, for letting me to have my last moment with you…. She says to her heart as if Cloud can hear it.

Cloud lets a deep breath fills his lungs after Aeris goes to her room. He feels like living in those old times he and his friends had before, complete with his retained love-triangle. Somehow he wants to share his problem with the other guy. It's not a nature of him of course, but this time he can't stand to hurt one of the two girls. While he is thinking, a night wind blows him softly and makes him find himself is tired. Cloud yawns and goes into the house.

….

Cloud stands in front of the room door. He looks unsure on what he will do. He opens the door carefully, and he hopes he will find it is locked. He is a bit surprised to find it is unlocked. Cloud bites his lips to give him an inner strength. Slowly, he walks inside the room. There, he finds someone curves around the bed, sleeping peacefully. It is a figure of young female. Cloud moves closer to the figure. She doesn't seem to notice that someone is coming. That is actually what Cloud wants. He kneels down next to bed and wait for some seconds. Eventually, the figure rolls over her body, turning her face to Cloud. She is still asleep. Cloud stares at her face quietly. He studies every beauty on her visage, watching her sleeping and breathing. He loves to have moment like this. Cloud smiles faintly as he caresses the girl's cheek gently. After a moment, he then stands up and walks toward outside quietly. Before he closes the door, once again, he takes a look at the girl he just caressed before.

"I love you…", he whispers softly, and then shuts the door soundlessly.