A/N: Okay, I lied, no climax this chapter…maybe the next one. J Hopefully I'll be posting that soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING.

Chapter 7

Dear Mister and Mistress Mystery,

            I personally think that the reason you hate each other so much is because you have a passion for each other deep within. You may be just trying to convince yourselves that you do like each other with those hateful letters that you've been writing.

                                                                        Psychoanalytic Student

Dear Mystery Man and Woman,

            I predict that you will die a mysterious death if you do not resolve your problems.

                                                                        Professor Trelawney

Dear Mystery People,

            Get a room.

                                                                        Horny Male

Dear Mysteries,

            Maybe you should have a duel.

                                                                        Violent Urges

Dear MM & MW,

            I was wondering if you could help me with a problem that I've been having. There's this guy that I like, and he's one of my friends. I think he might like me too but I'm not sure. How do I approach him on the subject?

                                                                        Confused Crony

 Dear Mystery Man,

            I personally think that you should see if you can romance Mystery Woman into

liking you. I mean, as you said, you can get any girl in this school. Think of it as a challenge.

                                                                        Romancing Romeo

Dear CJ,

            Who's this ******* ex-boy-friend of yours? I could beat the crap out of him if you wanted me to.

                                                                        Pounding Pulverizer

Dear Mystery Students,

            I think that you should talk out your differences. As a concerned faculty member I do believe that there is much family rivalry, or something of the sort between you two. Maybe if you talk you would find that you have much in common.

                                                                        Concerned Professor

Dear Mystery WOMAN,

            Beat the **** out of that chauvinistic pig!

                                                                        Femmy Feminist

Dear Mystery Persons,

            I agree with Violent Urges have a duel!

                                                                        Duelmeister

Dear Mystery Children of Mother Earth,

            Give peace a chance! Why can't we all just get along? Kiss and make up J.

                                                                        Flower Child

Mystery Woman,

            I could sic Fang on that Mystery Man for you.

                                                                        Hagrid

Dear Mystery Man & Woman,

            I know of a potion that could resolve this whole situation.

                                                                        Prof. S.S.

Dear Mystery Woman,

            If you want, we could give you a makeover, so all guys…and some girls will be turning their heads at you.

                                                                        Make-up Majors

Dear M.M.

            We are starting a fan club for all of your letters!

                                                            Beautiful Girls Society