1 The First Argument
Disclaimer: I own no one but Patricia.
AN: I have to admit that the ending to this chapter isn't very good. I didn't know how to end it, but the next chapter, which I will post ASAP is coming along very well in its development. Thanks for sticking with it you guys!
Patricia stayed away from Severus as much as she could that day. She didn't want to have to face him and see his reaction to what Jason had told him. All she knew is that he would be VERY angry, and probably wouldn't speak to her civilly for the next three days. But at the same time, she needed to see him. She needed to try and explain her feelings to him. She couldn't bear the thought of him being angry with her, and so it was with much trepidation that she approached his office door that evening after dinner. She knocked on his door tentatively, and flinched when the door opened on its own. Walking in, she stopped a few feet into the room to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. Yes, he was definitely angry. He never sat in darkness anymore unless he was angry. Her courage failed her for a moment, and she sank to the floor, seriously considering flight. Before she was given a chance, a candle was lit and she looked up into the face of Severus Snape. The very cold very impassive face of Severus Snape. He lifted an eyebrow when their eyes met, and for a moment she was back in their third year when she had told him she had hit Malfoy. The argument that had ensued had been heard through the entire castle. She steeled herself for the argument that was sure to be coming. She got up off the floor; she preferred to be on eye level when she argued with him. Somehow it made him seem less intimidating.
"Severus," she said.
"Professor," he returned. Professor. Oh, this was going to be bad. She nodded and assumed the same formal tone as he.
"Professor Snape, we need to talk," she said to him.
"Yes indeed. One of our students was caught trying to hex a Hufflepuff. We must decide whether to give her a weeks worth of detentions, or two weeks worth." So, he was going to play this game, was he? Well, she could play it just as well.
"One week. If we give her two, then she may never hex someone again, and we both know how handy hexes can be. Now, what about Professor McGonagalls subtraction of seventy-five points today? What was that all about?"
"Oh, nothing important," Severus said offhandedly.
"Severus," she growled. He looked at her and raised that eyebrow at her again. It was all she could do to not turn into the panther and disembowel him. That would have just encouraged him though, so she restrained herself. He turned and walked through the dark room, leaving her at the door. She knew she was being stubborn, but she wouldn't follow him until he asked her to.
"Coming?" he asked when he looked back and saw that she wasn't following him. She narrowed her eyes and took a careful step forward. There had been many times in the past where she had tripped over something lying on the dark floor, and she didn't want to do it tonight. Normally he was an immaculate man, but his office was the one place he allowed to become messy. He said the mess allowed him to think clearly, whereas his tidy rooms didn't. Patricia thought that he was just too lazy to clean up the piles of parchment that were strewn about the room. She smiled fondly, recalling the night those same piles became messy. That was a memorable night indeed.
"Severus, what was the seventy-five point subtraction about?" she asked again, following him to his desk. He sat behind it, and just to piss him off, she sat on the surface of it. With a flick of her wand she lit the candles so she could see who she was talking to. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the sudden light, and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"I'm the Co-Head of Slytherin House. I have a right to know. Why did we lose so many points today?" she asked. He looked at her silently before finally answering.
"Lucius Malfoy's boy did something to the Potter boy. I don't know what." He said. It was Patricia's turn to raise an eyebrow at him. She didn't know whether to believe him or not.
"I *don't* know," he said, seemingly reading her mind. She accepted his words with a shrug.
"Are you done here?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.
"No, I'm not. We have to talk about *us*, Severus," she said.
"There is no more *us*," he replied coldly. "If you're going to choose him, then you and I are finished."
"Severus," she said in exasperation. "You know that if I could make a decision you would be the first to know."
"Last night I assumed that you had chosen me. You seemed to have made a decision. What changed, Latisha, what changed?" She flinched at the sound of her given name, and looked at the floor before answering.
"I don't know, Severus. I don't know what changed. I mean, at breakfast I was hurting because I had chosen you over him, and then we had that tiff in the corridor… He came to my office while I was reading. It was *him*, Severus. The man who came to my office was the Jason Quirrell I married. He was truly sorry about last night. He even offered me an explanation. I'm not sure if I totally believe him, but it's better than nothing."
"If you don't believe him, then why go back to him?" Severus asked quietly.
"Because I married him. I gave up my freedom for him - " she began.
"No. You had no choice in the matter of your marriage to him. Your parents would have gotten their way eventually." Severus cut in.
"What do you know about that?" she asked bitterly. "So my marriage to him was arranged. Big deal. You make it sound like I wasn't even supposed to fall in love with the man."
"Latisha," he began.
"Don't call me that! That part of my life is over, Severus!" she said suddenly.
"Your name is Latisha, and that is what I will call you from now on. Will you please let me finish? Thank you," he said when she nodded. "You *weren't* supposed to fall in love with him. You were originally supposed to be married to me, but Quirrell's parents begged your parents to betroth you to him instead. Your mother wasn't happy about it, but your father saw no harm in it, so it was done."
"I was supposed to be married to you?" she asked quietly.
"Yes. You were supposed to be Latisha Tatiana Snape."
"Oh. But…" she trailed off as she looked at him.
"Latisha, why did you agree to his suggestion? You know you can do better than him. You belong to me now. I'm not going to let you go." Her eyes flashed and he mentally cursed himself for making a declaration of possession of her.
"I belong to no one. I'm not a *thing*, I'm a member of one of the most distinguished wizarding families in the United Kingdom. Don't you *ever* say I belong to you. I belong to no one but myself."
"Yes, your Ladyship," he said mockingly. She glared at him, knowing full well she was being mocked. "Well, your Lordship," she returned just as mockingly, "What do you intend on doing to get me back?"
"Well, my Lady, according to your husband, the worm that he is, you are playing both sides right now. Correct?"
"Correct…" she said warily.
"I'm going to do absolutely nothing to get you back. If you can't even make the simple decision of whom you love more, then you don't deserve me."
"Severus, you said that you wouldn't let him hurt me."
"What does that have to do with anything? If a Lady of your stature cannot leave her so-called husband, then why would I want to marry into your family? I do believe I am *glad* his parents changed the arrangement. I wouldn't marry you if you begged and pleaded, and threatened me with Cruatious."
"Fine then. If that's the way you want to play it, my Lord, you can just take everything I've ever given you, and shove it up your ass." Patricia said. "I as well am glad that Jason's parents changed it. If this is the way you are, I'd hate to meet your father. Would you like me to kiss your feet?"
"No, you can go kiss your 'husbands' feet," Severus said offhandedly.
"Would you quit insulting my husband!" Patricia snarled. "Yes, my marriage to him may have been arranged by our parents. But I wasn't forced to fall in love with him."
"Even though he as good as raped you last night?" Severus said spitefully.
"Yes! He told me why that happened! Now, why I fell in love with *you* of all people I don't know. Maybe Jason's right and it wasn't love I felt. Maybe it *was* just pity." She put emphasis on the past tense, knowing she would regret it later. His face went pale, and his eyes narrowed as he caught the tense she had used.
"Fine," he said menacingly. "Fine. If you want to be that way, then maybe it wasn't love *I* felt for you. Maybe it was… hope that we could put things for our families back to the way they were supposed to be. Fuck it, Latisha, get out of my sight. Get out of my office, stay out of my rooms, and get the hell out of my heart. I wish I could never see you again. Go back to your husband. I hope you're very happy for the rest of your life. Stay out of my life as much as possible. Get out."
Patricia stared at him angrily. How dare he tell her what to do?
"No problem, my Lord Snape. I will gladly leave your office, your rooms, and most definitely your heart. You do the same for me you slimy bastard."
And with that she turned and stormed out of his office, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay. She couldn't believe she had spoken to him like that. Instead of following the corridor to her room, she turned to go outside. She sat on the steps of the school and cried like she hadn't done for a long time. She had felt heartbreak before, but this… this was worse. This was the most painful thing she had ever felt. She knew it was her fault he had said those words to her, but that didn't cause the anger she felt towards him to diminish in any way. She stood up, not bothering to dry her face, transformed into an eagle, and launched into the air. She hovered above Hogwarts for a moment before letting a defiant cry pierce the night air and flew towards her father's home. A voice at the back of her mind dryly commented that running away would solve nothing, but she quieted it. Dumbledore would have heard that cry. If not him, then certainly Fawkes. The phoenix would in turn alert Dumbledore to the situation and the appropriate steps could be taken by the Headmaster.
* * *
Severus watched her go with a look very much like pain in his eyes. Once she was gone, he flicked his wand, and the door shut with a slam. At the same time the candles she had lit went out. He sank down onto the floor and put his head into his hands. Why had he said those things to her? He didn't want her out of his life. But when she had said *was*, his control had snapped. He *knew* something had happened to Quirrell. He *knew* the man was untrustworthy. And yet he had succeeded in driving her right back to him. At the same time, though, he had been glad to see her go. If she was willing to go back to Quirrell, then he wasn't sure he wanted her to be the mother of his children. He looked up as the his door opened unexpectedly. Albus Dumbledore was standing in the doorway with a candle held out.
"Severus?" he asked. Severus nodded as the older wizard walked into the office. "Something has happened that you ought to be aware of."
"What?" he mumbled.
"Latisha has left Hogwarts," Dumbledore said, surprising Severus.
"What? How?" he asked in astonishment.
"She transformed into an eagle and flew off. Fawkes heard her call and understood her words. He alerted me, and I've already told Professor Quirrell. We don't know where she's gone. We thought she'd head to her father, but he told me he hasn't seen her, nor had any thoughts from her. Severus, I need to ask what happened."
"I told her to fuck off," Severus admitted.
"Severus, my dear boy, is that all?" Dumbledore asked. When Severus looked up at him, he chuckled. "If that's all… but it's not, is it? You two fought, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Severus, do you know why you two fight so gloriously when you *do* fight?" When Severus shook his head, Dumbledore pulled up a chair. "Would you like to know why?" he asked, sitting down.
"Yes."
"I hope you have an open mind then. Some of what I will tell you is fairly hard to believe. *I* have a hard time believing it sometimes, and I played a big part in the story." Dumbledore settled back in his chair and prepared to tell the story that he had kept secret for the last 30 years.
Disclaimer: I own no one but Patricia.
AN: I have to admit that the ending to this chapter isn't very good. I didn't know how to end it, but the next chapter, which I will post ASAP is coming along very well in its development. Thanks for sticking with it you guys!
Patricia stayed away from Severus as much as she could that day. She didn't want to have to face him and see his reaction to what Jason had told him. All she knew is that he would be VERY angry, and probably wouldn't speak to her civilly for the next three days. But at the same time, she needed to see him. She needed to try and explain her feelings to him. She couldn't bear the thought of him being angry with her, and so it was with much trepidation that she approached his office door that evening after dinner. She knocked on his door tentatively, and flinched when the door opened on its own. Walking in, she stopped a few feet into the room to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. Yes, he was definitely angry. He never sat in darkness anymore unless he was angry. Her courage failed her for a moment, and she sank to the floor, seriously considering flight. Before she was given a chance, a candle was lit and she looked up into the face of Severus Snape. The very cold very impassive face of Severus Snape. He lifted an eyebrow when their eyes met, and for a moment she was back in their third year when she had told him she had hit Malfoy. The argument that had ensued had been heard through the entire castle. She steeled herself for the argument that was sure to be coming. She got up off the floor; she preferred to be on eye level when she argued with him. Somehow it made him seem less intimidating.
"Severus," she said.
"Professor," he returned. Professor. Oh, this was going to be bad. She nodded and assumed the same formal tone as he.
"Professor Snape, we need to talk," she said to him.
"Yes indeed. One of our students was caught trying to hex a Hufflepuff. We must decide whether to give her a weeks worth of detentions, or two weeks worth." So, he was going to play this game, was he? Well, she could play it just as well.
"One week. If we give her two, then she may never hex someone again, and we both know how handy hexes can be. Now, what about Professor McGonagalls subtraction of seventy-five points today? What was that all about?"
"Oh, nothing important," Severus said offhandedly.
"Severus," she growled. He looked at her and raised that eyebrow at her again. It was all she could do to not turn into the panther and disembowel him. That would have just encouraged him though, so she restrained herself. He turned and walked through the dark room, leaving her at the door. She knew she was being stubborn, but she wouldn't follow him until he asked her to.
"Coming?" he asked when he looked back and saw that she wasn't following him. She narrowed her eyes and took a careful step forward. There had been many times in the past where she had tripped over something lying on the dark floor, and she didn't want to do it tonight. Normally he was an immaculate man, but his office was the one place he allowed to become messy. He said the mess allowed him to think clearly, whereas his tidy rooms didn't. Patricia thought that he was just too lazy to clean up the piles of parchment that were strewn about the room. She smiled fondly, recalling the night those same piles became messy. That was a memorable night indeed.
"Severus, what was the seventy-five point subtraction about?" she asked again, following him to his desk. He sat behind it, and just to piss him off, she sat on the surface of it. With a flick of her wand she lit the candles so she could see who she was talking to. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the sudden light, and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"I'm the Co-Head of Slytherin House. I have a right to know. Why did we lose so many points today?" she asked. He looked at her silently before finally answering.
"Lucius Malfoy's boy did something to the Potter boy. I don't know what." He said. It was Patricia's turn to raise an eyebrow at him. She didn't know whether to believe him or not.
"I *don't* know," he said, seemingly reading her mind. She accepted his words with a shrug.
"Are you done here?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.
"No, I'm not. We have to talk about *us*, Severus," she said.
"There is no more *us*," he replied coldly. "If you're going to choose him, then you and I are finished."
"Severus," she said in exasperation. "You know that if I could make a decision you would be the first to know."
"Last night I assumed that you had chosen me. You seemed to have made a decision. What changed, Latisha, what changed?" She flinched at the sound of her given name, and looked at the floor before answering.
"I don't know, Severus. I don't know what changed. I mean, at breakfast I was hurting because I had chosen you over him, and then we had that tiff in the corridor… He came to my office while I was reading. It was *him*, Severus. The man who came to my office was the Jason Quirrell I married. He was truly sorry about last night. He even offered me an explanation. I'm not sure if I totally believe him, but it's better than nothing."
"If you don't believe him, then why go back to him?" Severus asked quietly.
"Because I married him. I gave up my freedom for him - " she began.
"No. You had no choice in the matter of your marriage to him. Your parents would have gotten their way eventually." Severus cut in.
"What do you know about that?" she asked bitterly. "So my marriage to him was arranged. Big deal. You make it sound like I wasn't even supposed to fall in love with the man."
"Latisha," he began.
"Don't call me that! That part of my life is over, Severus!" she said suddenly.
"Your name is Latisha, and that is what I will call you from now on. Will you please let me finish? Thank you," he said when she nodded. "You *weren't* supposed to fall in love with him. You were originally supposed to be married to me, but Quirrell's parents begged your parents to betroth you to him instead. Your mother wasn't happy about it, but your father saw no harm in it, so it was done."
"I was supposed to be married to you?" she asked quietly.
"Yes. You were supposed to be Latisha Tatiana Snape."
"Oh. But…" she trailed off as she looked at him.
"Latisha, why did you agree to his suggestion? You know you can do better than him. You belong to me now. I'm not going to let you go." Her eyes flashed and he mentally cursed himself for making a declaration of possession of her.
"I belong to no one. I'm not a *thing*, I'm a member of one of the most distinguished wizarding families in the United Kingdom. Don't you *ever* say I belong to you. I belong to no one but myself."
"Yes, your Ladyship," he said mockingly. She glared at him, knowing full well she was being mocked. "Well, your Lordship," she returned just as mockingly, "What do you intend on doing to get me back?"
"Well, my Lady, according to your husband, the worm that he is, you are playing both sides right now. Correct?"
"Correct…" she said warily.
"I'm going to do absolutely nothing to get you back. If you can't even make the simple decision of whom you love more, then you don't deserve me."
"Severus, you said that you wouldn't let him hurt me."
"What does that have to do with anything? If a Lady of your stature cannot leave her so-called husband, then why would I want to marry into your family? I do believe I am *glad* his parents changed the arrangement. I wouldn't marry you if you begged and pleaded, and threatened me with Cruatious."
"Fine then. If that's the way you want to play it, my Lord, you can just take everything I've ever given you, and shove it up your ass." Patricia said. "I as well am glad that Jason's parents changed it. If this is the way you are, I'd hate to meet your father. Would you like me to kiss your feet?"
"No, you can go kiss your 'husbands' feet," Severus said offhandedly.
"Would you quit insulting my husband!" Patricia snarled. "Yes, my marriage to him may have been arranged by our parents. But I wasn't forced to fall in love with him."
"Even though he as good as raped you last night?" Severus said spitefully.
"Yes! He told me why that happened! Now, why I fell in love with *you* of all people I don't know. Maybe Jason's right and it wasn't love I felt. Maybe it *was* just pity." She put emphasis on the past tense, knowing she would regret it later. His face went pale, and his eyes narrowed as he caught the tense she had used.
"Fine," he said menacingly. "Fine. If you want to be that way, then maybe it wasn't love *I* felt for you. Maybe it was… hope that we could put things for our families back to the way they were supposed to be. Fuck it, Latisha, get out of my sight. Get out of my office, stay out of my rooms, and get the hell out of my heart. I wish I could never see you again. Go back to your husband. I hope you're very happy for the rest of your life. Stay out of my life as much as possible. Get out."
Patricia stared at him angrily. How dare he tell her what to do?
"No problem, my Lord Snape. I will gladly leave your office, your rooms, and most definitely your heart. You do the same for me you slimy bastard."
And with that she turned and stormed out of his office, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay. She couldn't believe she had spoken to him like that. Instead of following the corridor to her room, she turned to go outside. She sat on the steps of the school and cried like she hadn't done for a long time. She had felt heartbreak before, but this… this was worse. This was the most painful thing she had ever felt. She knew it was her fault he had said those words to her, but that didn't cause the anger she felt towards him to diminish in any way. She stood up, not bothering to dry her face, transformed into an eagle, and launched into the air. She hovered above Hogwarts for a moment before letting a defiant cry pierce the night air and flew towards her father's home. A voice at the back of her mind dryly commented that running away would solve nothing, but she quieted it. Dumbledore would have heard that cry. If not him, then certainly Fawkes. The phoenix would in turn alert Dumbledore to the situation and the appropriate steps could be taken by the Headmaster.
* * *
Severus watched her go with a look very much like pain in his eyes. Once she was gone, he flicked his wand, and the door shut with a slam. At the same time the candles she had lit went out. He sank down onto the floor and put his head into his hands. Why had he said those things to her? He didn't want her out of his life. But when she had said *was*, his control had snapped. He *knew* something had happened to Quirrell. He *knew* the man was untrustworthy. And yet he had succeeded in driving her right back to him. At the same time, though, he had been glad to see her go. If she was willing to go back to Quirrell, then he wasn't sure he wanted her to be the mother of his children. He looked up as the his door opened unexpectedly. Albus Dumbledore was standing in the doorway with a candle held out.
"Severus?" he asked. Severus nodded as the older wizard walked into the office. "Something has happened that you ought to be aware of."
"What?" he mumbled.
"Latisha has left Hogwarts," Dumbledore said, surprising Severus.
"What? How?" he asked in astonishment.
"She transformed into an eagle and flew off. Fawkes heard her call and understood her words. He alerted me, and I've already told Professor Quirrell. We don't know where she's gone. We thought she'd head to her father, but he told me he hasn't seen her, nor had any thoughts from her. Severus, I need to ask what happened."
"I told her to fuck off," Severus admitted.
"Severus, my dear boy, is that all?" Dumbledore asked. When Severus looked up at him, he chuckled. "If that's all… but it's not, is it? You two fought, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Severus, do you know why you two fight so gloriously when you *do* fight?" When Severus shook his head, Dumbledore pulled up a chair. "Would you like to know why?" he asked, sitting down.
"Yes."
"I hope you have an open mind then. Some of what I will tell you is fairly hard to believe. *I* have a hard time believing it sometimes, and I played a big part in the story." Dumbledore settled back in his chair and prepared to tell the story that he had kept secret for the last 30 years.
