Disclaimer : We (Lashana and Telca) own only ourselves, Mischief and Korin. The dragons are based on statues from Windstone Editions, the names of Kalamadea and Akhor belong to Mercedes Lackey and Elizabeth Kerner respectively, and none of the Harem Guys belong to us. (That's kinda depressing....) Anywho, read and enjoy!


04/10/02 Terrible Twos

::Hehehe!::

CRASH!

"Korin! Get yer tail down here this instant!!" I screamed, wincing when my voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. Oooh. My poor throat.... "Korin, no! Not the DVD player! No-"

CRASH!!

"You little bastard." At that exact moment, I had to give my Parents credit. I was amazed they hadn't nail me to a wall now that I knew how much trouble I must've caused them. The hatchlings had apparently hit the draconic age where they had more energy than they knew what to do with. What was worse was that, like most toddlers, they had figured out exactly how to use their bodies. Which meant that the little suckers could now out-maneuver me. I love my dragons. I will not kill my dragons...

CRASH!!

I lowered my gaze to the now useless 27" TV, blinking at the smoke coming out of it for a moment before looking at a grinning Korin. It's not wise to piss off the person who feeds you.

He giggled. ::Mommy funny!::

Ooo. I am so going to duct tape you to a wall when I catch you. I launched myself at him, screaming in rage when he flew out of my reach, and promptly rammed my forehead into a wall. That's it. I give up. "MEWTWO!!!"

~Ack!~ I rubbed at my head and looked over at the pokemon that teleported himself into the room, arching an eyebrow at the two wriggling dragons he was holding in his arms. I saw his eyes widen in shock as he looked around the ruined TV room. ~What happened?!~

::Hehehe!::

~Oh. Nevermind. Are you alright?~ He winced when I met his gaze. Apparently the look I had on my face mirrored exactly what I was feeling at the moment. Murderous would be putting it lightly. ~Er... why don't you go sit down for a while? I can watch them. ~ Smart Pokemon. Humor the borderline homicidal Elf.

"Thanks," I rasped out, raising a hand to rub at my aching throat as I walked past him. A plaintive whimper caught my attention, and I warily looked at Akhor as he struggled to get out of Mewtwo's arms to get to me. "Alright. You, I'll look after. Your 'daddy' can take care of your two pain in the arse brothers."

~Gee, thanks,~ Mewtwo grumbled under his breath as I took the white dragon from him. ~Leave me with the two psycho-hyper hatchlings.~

"Okay!" The glare he sent me told me that he didn't appreciate the cheerful tone I had used. Well TS for him. After a few hours of running around after Kalamadea and Korin, he'd understand where I was coming from. Until then... "I'll be in the Kitchen."

I was amazed at how quickly my trio was growing. It had been just under a month ago when they had hatched, and as far as Mewtwo and I could tell, they were aging about half a year human-time a week. Which, of course, made me wonder what a dragon's life span was....

::Elfy?:: The soft voice pulled me out of my musings, making me look down at the dragon in my arms.

Yeah Akhor?

::Want to play.:: I groaned.

Didn't Mewtwo play with you? Aren't you tired? Even a little bit? It was a vain hope that made me ask that. While they seemed to have a never ending supply of energy, I had been running after them all day, I was ready to curl up and sleep for a week. Better yet, how exactly was I supposed to play a game with a creature that was so small I was constantly afraid of accidentally hurting it?

::Daddy chased Kalamadea the longest,:: he told me, raising big golden eyes to meet my gaze. I really had to find a defense to that expression....

Alright. Alright. Just let me get something to drink... I really really had to find a defense to that expression.... He sent a happy rainbow of colours into my thoughts, and I groaned again. What had I gotten myself into?

A wave of panic hit me seconds later, the familiar telepathic 'presences' telling me that it was Kalamadea and Korin that were in trouble. Shit. I relocated Akhor onto a nearby shelf and opened a portal, leaping through it and onto the back of the person that was threatening my dragons.

"Yare yare, Lashana-chan! I never knew you could be this forward!"

EEEWWWWW!!!! "HENTAI!!!" I threw myself away from the fruitcake, grabbed the nearest thing that could be used as a weapon, and slammed it down over his head.

::Mommy!!:: Blue and green forms slammed into my chest with enough force that it made me take a step back in surprise before I automatically rose my arms to hug the small dragons to myself.

Where's Mewtwo? I thought to the hatchlings in my arms, glaring at Xellos as he tried to pry himself out from under the coffee table I had bludgeoned him with. Getting nothing but another wave of fear, I threw caution to the winds and sent out a mental cry for help through all the psychic links I had, my eyes widening when Xellos tossed the table aside and leapt at me...

And ten black psychic energy balls and a sphere of red destructive power sailed past me, sending Xellos flying through a wall. I coughed once the dust settled and looked over at the duo behind me. "You have excellent timing."

"It's hard to ignore you when you scream like that," Blackwargreymon teased as he walked over to me and gave me a gentle hug, being careful since I was still holding the hatchlings.

~Now do you understand why I told you to stay near me?~ Mewtwo said to the two hatchlings, obviously annoyed. The two dragons blinked at him meekly and tried to burrow deeper into my arms.

"Oy... I think they're sorry... ACK! Kalamadea! Get out of my shirt!!"

Blackwargreymon chuckled and wisely stepped away from me when I glared at him while trying to remove the hatchling from my bra. "Lucky little guy, isn't he?" I was so going to hurt him later.

"Shut. Up." I pulled the dragons off of me, gave them a gentle boost into the air, and stomped out of the room.

~You and your big mouth.~

"Oh shut up, will you? Lashana! Lashana, wait!" I glanced back over my shoulder and frowned at my Bonded as he ran after me. "It was just a joke."

"Black. It's almost sunset, I am sore, I haven't slept well in four weeks, the hatchlings are driving me insane, I'm pretty sure I have the beginnings of a migraine going on, and I have this overwhelming urge to blow something up. My sense of humour is kinda nonexistent at the moment."

He skidded to a stop and looked at me warily before reaching out and tucking an unruly lock of hair behind my pointed right ear. "I'm sorry."

Dammit. The urge to smack him faded at those two simple words, and I mentally grimaced. I had wanted to be able to rant and rave for a bit, but that option had just died a quick and painless death. "S'okay," I sighed as I pulled away and headed for the Kitchen. "It's no fault of yours." Ruined a perfectly good chance for me to rant...

I instinctively ducked as two dragons zoomed past me, then sidestepped to let Mewtwo run by. I wasn't going to think much of it until I heard a loud cry of surprise from the Kitchen. A loud female cry. Oh lords.... they just pissed Telca off.... The hatchlings seemed to excel at that. Just two days ago they had chewed up the mouse wire to her computer, and the day before that they had gotten into her stash of May West cakes....

By the time Black an I reached the Kitchen, World War Three had erupted. It took me two seconds to take in the entire scene : Kalamadea and Korin latched onto Telca's braided hair, Telca waving a cookie sheet around as she screamed and tried to get the dragons to let go, freshly baked cookies covering the floor, Akhor pigging out on said cookies, and a laughing Mewtwo. I need a vacation.

"Get off!!" Telca snarled, finally managing to get her hands on the two dragons that had been hanging on her braid and forcibly yanking them off of her. I wasn't worried about her hurting them. I was more afraid of her hurting me. "Lashana! They ruined a perfectly good batch of chocolate chip cookies!"

Er.... I stepped over a pile of said cookies as Kalamadea and Korin wriggled out of Telca's hold and flew over to land on the floor next to Akhor, joining him in pigging out. "They're going through an energy spurt." Mewtwo, I know you can hear me, stop laughing. And make Black stop too. "Since when do you bake?"

"Since the mood struck me." I had the sudden vision of a little knome with a t-shirt saying 'baking mood' smacking Telca over the head with a mallet. Did I mention that I hadn't had much sleep lately? "Y'know, you should really look into getting them some Prozac."

"I was thinking duct tape," I sighed as I looked down at the three chocolate smeared draconic grins being sent my way. I wasn't about to tell her what they did to the one of the TV rooms. "Is there any coffee left?"

"Yes O Caffeine Freak," Telca chuckled as she pointed to the machine. I glared at her while I carefully picked my way through the cookie laden floor. As I busied myself with trying to find a clean mug, Telca snapped her fingers and magickally cleaned up the Kitchen. Gotta love magick. It makes manual labour a thing of the past.

~Lashana? Um.... Where'd they go?~

There wasn't a doubt in my mind who 'they' were. I glanced at the floor where they had been and saw three trails of chocolate footprints leading to the Main Hall. "Um...." I finished pouring myself a cup of caffeine and followed the prints, dimly aware that Black, Telca and Mewtwo were right behind me as I walked out to the base of the stairs.....

Just to throw myself aside as a white draconic form launched itself off the banister. "What the hell?!"

Mewtwo rose a hand to cover his eyes and groaned as Kalamadea and Korin slid down the banister after their brother, spreading their wings at the last moment as their momentum down said banister propelled them into the air. ~Just five minutes of peace. Five minutes. How hard can that be?!~

"Do you really want to know?" Blackwargreymon murmured, getting nasty glares from Mewtwo and I as a response.

Telca tapped my shoulder to get my attention and grinned. "I have an idea."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You're sure they'll be okay?" I asked as I watched the trio test the limits of their ropes. No we hadn't tied them up. Well...maybe just a little. Telca's plan had been simple. Run a rope from the deck to the nearest tree, then harness the three dragons to it. Thus they could fly and run and all that hyper stuff, but they couldn't get very far.

~They'll be fine. I'll keep telepathic watch on them,~ Mewtwo assured me as Black guided me into the Kitchen, refusing to let me dodge around him to see the dragons.

"Come watch a movie with me," Black rumbled in my ear as he playfully scooped me into his arms. Oh yeah, biiig choice. Stay with pain-in-arse hyper hatchlings, or go relax with my Bonded. I threw my arms around his neck.

"Ugh. You're going to give me cavities!" Telca called after us as he carried me to the Living room.

Five minutes later found me comfortably nestled in my Bonded's arms as we watched the opening titles to Jurassic Park III. Naturally, the moment I found myself completely relaxed....

~Lashana!~ It was obvious that the pokemon was telepathing on what I call a 'wide-band frequency', for Blackwargreymon sighed heavily and met my exasperated gaze.

"Never a dull moment, hmm?"

I groaned and hauled myself to my feet, dragging my weary carcass out of the room, down the hallway, through the kitchen, and out onto the deck. "Now what?" Not getting a response from the seemingly catatonic pokemon, I sighed and followed his gaze out onto the back lawn, nearly screaming in shock. There, dangling in a knarled mess, were my three dragons. I didn't know how they had managed to tangle themselves up in the ropes like that, and I was sure that I didn't want to know. What I did know, was that they were currently dangling two feet off the ground and that Telca's cat Mischief was batting at them with a paw. I need a vacation...

Telca meanwhile was busy taking pictures. "I don't know how they managed to get tangled up like that, but it's funny as all hell!"

"We were only gone for five minutes!" I wailed in despair before starting to bang my head against the deck's railing. "How can something so small get into so much trouble in just five minutes?!? How?!"

::Mommy! Daddy!::

Mewtwo echoed my earlier groan and leapt off the deck, flying over to the tangled mess of dragons. ~I don't believe this. Lashana? We're going to have to cut them loose.~

I grumbled. Footsteps behind me made me turn to look at a curious Kang. I ignored his questioning glance in lieu of stealing the belt knife he was wearing and going out to help Mewtwo. "I'm going to bed after this," I told the pokemon as I reached up and sliced the guide rope in half, looking over at the three tangled pile of dragons that he was now cradling in his arms. "My Gods...how the hell are we going to get them free of all those knots?!"

~First things first.~ He wrapped his tail around my waist and teleported the two of us into the Kitchen, releasing me seconds later as he went to sit at the island counter. ~Kalamadea, hold still. Yes I know Akhor's wing is in your face. No Korin, you can't bite Kalamadea. Korin, I said no.~

"What happened to them?" Kang asked after he had snuck up behind me and snatched his belt knife back.

I bit back many retorts that came to mind. "Ask Telca." I headed over to sit across from Mewtwo and reached out to help him free the first of the trio. 'Two? Have I mentioned that I need a vacation?

~Many times,~ he rumbled, the pitch of his mental voice telling me that he was keeping this conversation private. ~Have I mentioned that I need one too?~

Almost as much as I have. I hooked a fingernail under a piece of rope and carefully untangled Akhor's right foreleg, sighing when the hatchling grabbed onto my finger and refused to let go. I really don't know what I looked like right then, but apparently I scared Mewtwo.

~Why don't you go take it easy for a bit?~ he said as I pried Akhor off of my finger, wincing when his talons sliced into my skin. ~I can handle this. Go relax.~

Relax? I don't know the meaning of the word anymore. Judging by the sympathetic look he sent me neither did he. You don't mind?

~Would I have offered if I did?~

Yes.

He smirked. ~Go on. It's okay.~

Kewl. Thanks. I glanced over at Black, Telca and Kang where they were talking about the hatchlings and decided that I didn't want to be sociable at the moment. So I opened a portal and headed for one of the TV rooms in my Wing of the Palace. Ooo. Time alone. I haven't had that in ages....crap. I stared at Wolverine and Beast where they were sitting on the couch and frowned. "Why aren't you Guys in Telca's Wing of the Palace?"

"Cuz ya got better movies." I glared at Wolverine and slammed the door behind me. Exploration of the other three TV rooms left me in a tense and rather annoyed state. All were being used, and since I didn't feel well enough to fight someone for a room, I was stuck with the vain hope that the last room was empty....

It wasn't.

"Hola mi amiga," Malcho greeted, his smile fading from his lips when he saw me. "Carumba. What's the matter?"

"Nuthin'," I muttered as I turned to leave, blinking when a plumed tail wrapped around my waist and yanked me back into the room. "Malcho, please. I'm not in the mood to play any games." I swear, if he tries to get me to play another round of Nascar Racing I'm gonna- My train of thought derailed itself in pure shock when he set me down amongst his coiled body, his tail now lying over my legs to keep me in place.

"You need to relax, si?" I blinked at him for a moment before nodding. "Then do so, amiga. Rest a bit, you look exhausted." When I opened my mouth to protest, he grinned and rested a wing over me. "No one will bother you. Sueno."

Sueno. Sleep. Sleep sounded very good at the moment. And I had a willing bodyguard to keep people away from me for a while. Was I going to pass up a chance like this? No way in hell. I sighed in relief and curled up in his embrace as he slid his wings around me, enveloping me in warm scaly feathers. I surrendered my losing battle with consciousness seconds later.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have no real idea how long I slept. Only that it was pitch black when the noises woke me. I struggled to lift Malcho's wing off of me so that I could see the VCR clock, but gave up almost as soon as I had begun. Mainly because the sounds of destruction had stopped. That meant that I could go back to sleep. I snuggled back down into the warmth of Malcho's wings and closed my eyes as he sighed in his sleep and pulled me a little closer.

Naturally I was only moments away from falling asleep again when a loud crash echoed through the silent Palace. This time it woke Malcho too.

"Que? Amiga?" He rattled off something that I didn't understand. It figured that being half-asleep meant that he wasn't coherent enough to speak English.

"Dunno. Don't care. Not moving." Simple and to the point. I wondered if he was awake enough to understand English.

"Que?" Apparently not. Okay....time to see if I remembered what little Spanish I knew.

"Sueno, Malcho." Okay...so maybe my grasp of Spanish was limited to a piddling six words that couldn't be used in the same sentence. So what? It was a miracle that I was awake enough to speak! Granted, that 'being awake' part wasn't all that grand. It got worse when another crash and a thud came from down the hallway. Do I care enough to get up? ....oh I suppose so.

After fighting my way free of Malcho's wings, tripping over his tail and slamming face first onto the floor, I knew that no matter what was going on outside the room, I wasn't going to like it. It turned out that I was right, for the moment that I opened the door, I was assaulted by what I could only perceive as medusa on a bad hair day...er...night.

"Give them Gravol! Or, Valium! Prozac! Lithium! You have to give them something!! I. Need. To. Sleep!!" I blinked a few more times before I recognized Telca. She must have been tossing and turning all night for her hair to look that bad.

"I am not giving them Lithium!" I growled as I pulled myself out of her hold, frowning when I saw that half of the collar of my t-shirt was still in her hands.

"It doesn't have to be a lot. Just a tiny bit. Just enough to knock them out!" She sounded like she had gone insane. If she started talking any faster, or any more high-pitched, I was going to ship her off to the nearest auction block. A ragged 'meow' drew my attention to the frazzled cat that staggered over to us. I thought she looked drunk.

As Malcho poked his head out of the TV room to see what was going on, I backed away from Telca and headed for the source of the noises. Actually, calling them 'noises' was being rather polite. In actuality it sounded like World War Three : The Revised Edition. I think I heard someone crying.

Alright. The Elf has had it. I stomped over to the room where all the ruckus was coming from, took a breath, and kicked the door open. "THAT. IS. ENOUGH!!!"

Crickets chirped.

I glared over at the three hatchlings that were in the process of tearing a couch apart, glanced at a greatly relieved Mewtwo, then returned my gaze to the three stunned dragons. "I. Have. Had. Enough! There will be no more breaking of technology, no more stealing of my chocolate, no more launching lightning blasts at Telca's cat, no more fighting in the middle of the night, and no more chewing of electrical wires! You will not destroy the computers, the books, the furniture, the plants or the wallpaper, and you will not wake us up at UnGodly hours of the night!! Is that understood?!"

Three heads nodded as one.

"Good! Now. Go. To. Sleep!" That said, I spun around and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind me only to discover that my little rant had drawn quite an audience. In fact, the entire Harem was gathered in the hallway.

They practically climbed over each other to get out of my way. Good. I was tired, my head hurt and my throat was killing me. Of course, as soon as my rage left me, I wanted some company. Granted after my recent display, I knew that was only going to happen when and if hell froze over....

~Are you alright?~

Oooh look. The devil was ice-skating. "Not really."

A tail curled around my waist, pulling me into a warm embrace that somehow ended up with me being hauled off my feet and carried into a room. Not that I minded. I was already asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up to the sensation of being stared at. It's a very annoying sensation. It brings about the urge to smack someone. But since my arms were currently pinned by some blankets and Mewtwo's arms, I settled for opening an eye and peering through my lashes at the three blurry shapes that were perched on the side of the hammock I was in.

::Mommy?::

A wave of apology and warmth flooded my thoughts, and I managed a sleepy smile as I freed an arm and gathered the hatchlings close to me. You're forgiven.

I 'felt' Kalamadea grin. ::Does that mean you'll feed us?::

I groaned, thinking that I had to leave the warm comfortable hammock. Then a thought hit me. It's your daddy's turn. Wake him up.

::Okay!:: The three dragons climbed over me and literally glomped Mewtwo's face. ::Daddy! Daddy, wake up!! Hungry!::

~Please god no......~

Hehe.