Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves, Tvashtar, Kadrith and the dragons. There will be no sueing of us as we have no money.

Whoo-hoo! It's finally finished!! This should damn well hold all of you for a while, it's over 45 pages long! That means that I can expect a decent number of reviews from you! ^_^

06/14/02 This is not going at all the way I planned....

Ah Fridays. The most wonderful of all weekdays. It's the day that signifies the beginning of that glorious time : the weekend. And I had been looking forward to this weekend for a while now. Why, you ask? Simple. Because most of the Guys were going out for an 'all weekend Guys only camping trip'. That meant that I would practically have the entire Palace all to myself! Well...almost. I still had my dragons, Tvashtar and Kadrith, Telca, Nightcrawler, Malcho, Zelgadis and Beast, but compared to how many people there usually were, this was going to be one sweet weekend.

And speaking of Tvashtar and Kadrith.... Those two were just starting to settle into the 'groove' of things. They were still nervous around Telca and I (apparently the other Avatars had been real pieces of work), but other than that, I thought they were doing pretty good. Now if only I can get Tvashtar to realize that he doesn't have to be up at 5am every day.... I shook my head at the thought and stretched a little as I walked down the hallway, Kalamadea and Akhor perched on my shoulders. I, unlike my Guardian, kept up the wondrous tradition of not getting up until at least 9am, and even then, that was early.

Kalamadea yawned in my ear. ::Why are you so awake? You don't usually get up before 10.:: I grinned and looked at him out of the corner of my right eye.

"Because Blackie and a bunch of the others are leaving this morning. I want to see them off."

::You just want to make sure they leave,:: Korin chuckled from where he was lazily flying above me.

"That too." I paused at the top of the stairs for a moment before chuckling and sliding down the banister, feeling Akhor dig his talons into my shirt while Kalamadea loosed a rather loud roar of elation. I grinned and did a perfect dismount, landing right in front of a gaping Kadrith. "G'morning! Is Telca up?"

He blinked at me for a moment, wide dark green eyes following the form of Korin that swooped down to land on my head, then shook himself out of the semi-catatonic state my entrance had put him in. "Yes. She's in the Kitchen with Remy." Another blink. "Do you always do that?"

"Sure. Why not? It's fun," I grinned as I turned to head for the Kitchen, pushing the swinging door open and staring at the chaos within. "Oh. My. Gods."

Calling it a war zone wouldn't have given it proper credit. All the Guys that were leaving for the weekend were there, and all of them were ransacking the cupboards for edible food for the weekend while they practically consumed anything else as breakfast. I stood there for a few more moments before tentatively stepping into the room, letting the door swing closed behind me as I watched Kang wrestle Blackwargreymon for the last box of Pop-Tarts.

::Mommy?::

Yeah Kalamadea?

He leaned forward a little and looked at me. ::When are they supposed to leave again?::

I chuckled. Soon.

"Comin' through!"

I yelped as the swinging door impacted with my back, sending me staggering forward right into the path of a running Duncan. Instinct made me twist to shield the dragons, incidentally tripping the Immortal and sending him sprawling to the floor where a just arriving Wolverine pushed the door open further and rendered Duncan unconscious by tripping and landing on him, the five cases of beer he had been carrying arching into the air. While the others ran about catching the first four, I looked up at a box of Labatt Blue that was coming towards me and shrugged as I rose a hand. "FIREB--"

"Noooo! Not the beer!! Not the beer!!"

Wolverine's panicked yell cut me off, effectively screwing me over. Now I didn't even have time to dodge....

And a black spaded tail wrapped around my waist and yanked me out of the way, letting Kang make a frantic dive towards the 24 pack, a grunt leaving him as he hit the floor seconds before the box landed on his head.

The three dragons and I heaved identical sighs of relief before I looked from the tail that was still wrapped around my waist to Tvashtar, who was eyeing the others in the room like one would eye a group of mental patients in a ward. I smirked and lightly poked him, meeting his gaze as he turned away from watching Wolverine glomp the saved box. "Thanks for the save, but you can let go now."

"Is it always like this here?" he asked as he released me, quickly pulling me out of the way of a airborn stale muffin. He had learned about those deadly weapons the hard way during yesterday's breakfast.

"Mostly. This is pretty tame," I shrugged, seeing his eyes widen in shock before I turned and grinned at my Bonded. "'Mornin. Glad to see you not trying to kill the newbie." That had also been a problem. Black had already appointed himself my bodyguard, and apparently the newly arrived Tvashtar was now considered a threat to our relationship. I was now actively looking into testosterone inhibitors. Granted that rant I had gone into the night before seemed to still be in effect....

"Breakfast before pleasure." Or not. I sighed and looked at him, easily intercepting the glare he sent at Tvashtar with one of my own. He actually winced.

"Blackie, you are such an idiot."

I smirked and looked over at the couple that emerged from the Dining Room. "Remy, kiss Telca again, I think I liked her better when she was giddy."

The Cajun chuckled. "Dat only work de first time, petit. Though Remy's pretty sure he can do somethin' else dat make his sorceress giddy." I swear, Telca actually blushed.

"No PDA's!" Wolverine growled as he set the fifth beer case on the small Kitchen table, then walked over and whapped Blackwargreymon. "Ya an I 're gonna talk. Now." I blinked and watched as the Canuck literally dragged my Bonded out of the room, then exchanged baffled glances with Telca.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked, seeing her shrug in response.

"Oh he's probably going to whack some common sense into Blackie's thick skull," she chuckled as she leaned back into her Cajun's arms.

"Good thing he's got an adamantium skeleton then," I murmured under my breath before turning to get myself a cup of coffee, blinking when Tvashtar held my already filled mug out to me. "Oh. Thanks. You didn't have to."

"It was either make the coffee or help Duncan fight that...thing...in the fridge."

::Good choice,:: Korin said, shuddering as he glanced towards the fridge. ::Can't we just kill it?::

::You think they haven't tried?:: Kalamadea snorted. ::Fireballs don't even singe it. It's too...::

::Gooey?:: Akhor supplied. I shuddered in disgust at the mental image that accompanied his suggestion.

"If you three are going to discuss the texture of whatever's living in the fridge, kindly do not send me mental images, okay?" I shuddered again and tried to fortify my mind by taking a long drink of my coffee. "Why don't you go spend time with Mewtwo before he leaves with the others?"

"Mental images?" Telca quirked an eyebrow at me curiously after the trio had left in search of 'daddy'.

"Don't ask," I grimaced, reaching out to pull Tvashtar out of the way of the decaffeinated chimera that had just staggered into the Kitchen. "Hi Zel."

"Gzsht?"

"Yes, there's fresh coffee." I ignored Tvashtar's shocked look.

"Mrzgt."

"Nope. I got the first cup!"

"You understood that?!" I chuckled and looked at my Guardian.

"I've been living here for almost a year, I've gotten used to deciphering the 'decaffeinated chimera speak'." Oooh, look. Zel was capable of glaring before he had any coffee. I hadn't thought that was possible. I snickered and lightly patted Tvashtar's shoulder. "You'll get use to it."

"I highly doubt that," he muttered as Kang grabbed the still out-cold Duncan by his left ankle and dragged him out of the Kitchen.

There was a decidedly evil chuckle from my left, and I arched an eyebrow curiously as I looked over at a grinning Telca. "Oh lords. What have you done?"

"Think of it. For the first time in a very long while, you and I will have free reign of the Palace!"

"Need I remind you that Nightcrawler, Zelgadis, Malcho, Beast and our two Guardians are staying behind?" I asked before taking another sip of my coffee.

"Oh please. Beast always stays in his lab, Nightcrawler's gonna be stuck to a TV, Malcho won't come near me after that shaver incident--"

I growled. "What shaver incident?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you? Hehe." I glared. Telca going 'hehe' is never a good thing. Especially when it involves one of my Guys. "He's got a new fashion going." Lovely. Well, at least that explained why he hadn't been around lately. Poor guy was probably hiding out under the deck again. "Anyway, whoever's left can damn well leave us alone or become one with a fireball."

I sent a reassuring glance in Tvashtar's direction. "Telca."

"What? It's either the fireball or a baseball bat."

I groaned. "Remy. Please, get her out of the room." Taking a moment to quickly refill my mug of coffee, I then proceeded to drag my Guardian out onto the deck. I can practically feel Tvashtar nearing a panic attack. "Chill."

"But she--"

"Look, we do tend to launch spells at the Guys if they're being a royal pain in the arse, but they're not full powered spells." I rose my free hand and loosed a low power fireball at a chair, gesturing to it when the attack barely singed it. "That's the extent of the power we use. It's something akin to a smack. We only use the major stuff on Xellos." I wasn't going to mention the occasional fights that Zelgadis and I had for the first morning coffee.

"M'lady, I'm sorry. But..." he trailed off and moved to stand at the railing, looking out at the forest. "It's not something that I can forget about in the span of a few days."

I sighed and went to stand beside him, resting my elbows on the railing. "I know how it feels." When he looked at me in askance, I smiled sadly and stared out at an eagle that was circling the forest. "I've relived the fight with the Demon Highlord almost every night since Telca and I were brought back. The nightmares are quite vivid.... the fear never fades...." I lowered my gaze into my coffee mug, staring at my reflection. "Xellos says that everyone else that had been brought back from the dead went mad from the nightmares..." I pushed away from the railing and sighed as I forced myself to meet Tvashtar's worried gaze. "I know how you feel, and I'll help you any way I can....granted I don't know how much help I'll be considering that I can't even help myself...."

"Lashana-dono?"

I turned away from my Guardian and looked over at the resident Samurai. "Yeah, Kenshin?"

"We're just about finished loading up the van. Blackwargreymon is waiting for you," he said, frowning when he met my gaze. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Lying. It's an art. "The caffeine hasn't kicked in yet," I grinned as I threw my left arm around his shoulders and led him back into the Kitchen. "C'mon. If we keep Blackie waiting he's liable to start lobbing Terra Destroyers all over the damned place." I shoved the knowledge that Tvashtar was following us aside and headed for the front doors, blinking at the sight of the loaded down van that was parked outside. "Holy crow. You're only going to be gone for a few days! Do you really need a.... battery operated coffee maker?!"

"S'for Mewtwo," Wolverine chuckled when he heard me, glancing at me over his shoulder as he finished tying down the canoe to the rack of the car. "Ya sure ya won't come with us, darlin'?"

"Very. I remember the last camping trip," I smirked. "Besides, getting you lot out of the Palace for a few days will be akin to Heaven."

"Har har. Go see yer Bonded, Elfy. I gave 'im a talkin' to. He should have his head outta his arse by now."

"Thank you for the mental image," I grumbled as I walked around the van, heading for the ever watchful Digimon that was standing on the lawn. "Black...."

He sighed and knelt to be closer to eye level with me, putting his hands on my shoulders as he met my gaze. "'Shana. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

I cut him off by lying my right index finger over his lips, smiling at him warmly. "S'okay. You do wonders for my ego."

A low chuckle left him as he hugged me, brushing his cheek against mine. "Love you. You going to be okay this weekend?" I chuckled.

"Considering that I won't have to fight you for the blankets? Yeah. I think I'll be okay," I pulled back and grinned as I tapped him on the forehead. "And no keeping tabs on me. You're supposed to relax this weekend, not constantly panic about me, okay?"

"Okay," he smiled as he stood and looked over at Tvashtar. For a moment I was afraid he'd do something, but he actually managed to surprise me. "You'd better take care of her, y'hear?"

I'll be damned. I saw Tvashtar blink in surprise for a moment before he grinned and nodded, and I smiled at my Bonded in delighted surprise. "Well, so my ranting does nothing but Wolverine's pep talk does, hmm?" Black coughed slightly and glanced away. "Uh huh. Ya'd better hurry before Wolvie runs you over." I looked towards the van and gaped at the sight of the still unconscious Duncan strapped to the roof next to the canoe. "Kang!!"

"It wasn't me! It was Mewtwo!"

~Oh thank you. What ever happened to 'I won't tell anyone if you don't'?~ the pokemon grumbled sourly as I stalked over to the van. ~It's either Duncan on the roof or Kenshin's gotta run beside the car."

"Oh. Well why didn't you say that in the first place?" I asked before ushering the samurai into the car. "Someone wanna go pry the lovebirds apart?"

"Ugh. No." Kang grimaced, eyeing Telca and Remy as they stood on the front steps and gave each other a very long goodbye kiss.

I rolled my eyes. "Chicken."

~I don't see you doing anything,~ Mewtwo smirked as he walked over to me, letting Kalamadea and Korin hop from his shoulders to mine while Akhor went to perch on Tvashtar's left shoulder.

"I'm not that stupid. Unlike you, I have to stay here with her this weekend!"

He chuckled. ~Good point,~ he admitted as he sent a telekinetic shockwave at the couple, breaking them apart and levitating Remy towards the van. ~Come on loverboy. Wolverine's going to gut you soon if you don't hurry up.~

"You had better not let anything happen to my Remy!" Telca called out to the Guys in the van. "Else you're not going to like what I'll do to you when you get back!"

Kang shuddered and looked at me. "You sure you don't want to come with us?" I laughed and shoved him into the back of the van.

"Git goin' already," I grinned. "I'm quite capable of taking care of myself for a few days. I don't need you people constantly hovering around me."

Black looked at Tvashtar. "Good luck," he chuckled as he leapt into the air, hovering above the car. "You're going to need it."

"I heard that!" I growled, mock glaring at him as he blew me a kiss.

::Bye Daddy!:: Kalamadea grinned, eliciting an annoyed groan from the Pokemon as he levitated into the air. I chuckled and reached up to scratch the dragon under his chin with my right hand as I rose my left in a wave, smiling as I watched the van pull out of the driveway. A whole weekend...free!

::Hehehe:: I blinked at the snickered laughter and looked at Korin.

"What did you do?" I gasped, recognising the mischievous look in his eyes. "Tell me!" A muffled sound of an explosion caught my attention, and I paled when I saw a silly string covered Kang glaring back at me through the rear window. I shrugged and pointed to Korin, grinning insanely as I did a gaudy little wave in the peeved draconian's direction before hopping into a portal. I emerged in the backyard, right next to the pool. I simply couldn't contain it any longer. "One whole weekend!! I'm free! FREEEEEE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

::That's it. Elfy's cracked.::

::How can you tell?::

::The insane high pitched laughter was a clue.::

::Oh.::

Hmpft. I pried the two dragons off of me and tossed them into the pool, grinning as I snapped my fingers, using a spell to change my clothes from jeans and a tank top to a conservative two piece bathing suit before I dragged one of those floating mattresses out of a portal and tossed it into the pool.

"Well, I see you're set for the weekend," Telca grinned when she found me lying on that floater in the middle of the pool, the three dragons happily swimming around me like tiny sharks. I smiled and pulled my sunglasses off to look at her, holding out the drink I had in my hand.

"Margarita?"

"No thanks. But you do have a good idea." She followed my example and used a spell to change her own outfit into a one piece bathing suit, sighing happily as she pulled a huge towel out of a portal and spread it out over a lawn chair before lying down. "I heard that little insane cheer of yours."

I chuckled and put my sunglasses back on, sipping at my drink. "I'm surprised I beat you to it."

"You just happened to be louder. I think you almost gave your Guardian a heart-attack."

I snickered and brushed my bangs out of my eyes, leaning back to stare up at the sun. "This is nice."

"Hmm. Very," Telca agreed as she pulled her own pair of sunglasses out of another portal. "What's the plan for this weekend?"

"Besides lounging with the knowledge that we practically have the entire Palace to ourselves?"

"Um hm."

"We need groceries," I told her. "The campers cleaned us out."

She sighed. "You know that means that we have to go into town."

"I know we have to go to a town," I grinned. "Portals are a useful thing, remember?"

"How could I forget? But Kadrith and Tvac, Tash.... your Guardian will insist on coming with us."

I shrugged and tossed my glass into a portal, putting my left hand behind my head and dangling my right into the water. "So?"

She chuckled at my response. "They need to be exposed to true insanity anyway."

::Hehehe::

I frowned and half sat up to look around. "Korin. I heard that!"

Telca looked at me. "What?"

"He's snickering."

"Thou be screwed."

"I am not--" I cut myself off with a shriek of surprise as the floater beneath me suddenly stopped floating. The reason? There was a nice large chewed through hole in it. I burst to the surface with a cry of outrage and looked around, spotting Kalamadea trying to smother his laughter while he basked on the edge of the pool, Telca laughing herself sick, and a familiar green form hovering above me. I growled and looked up at the dragon. "You're eating kibble for the next week. Telca, stop laughing!"

"Why? This is damned funny!!"

"Oh yeah?!" I slammed the palm of my right hand down onto the surface of the water....

"What's going on back--"

"SEA BLAST!!!"

The sound of an annoyed grumble caught my attention once the spell had run it's course, and I looked from a fuming soaking wet Telca.... to the two equally soaked Guardians. Trying to keep myself from breaking out into hysterical laughter, I grinned and waved at them, treading water with ease. "Hi."

BAMF! "BONZAI!!"

"Ack!" I rose an arm to try to protect myself from the wave of water created by Nightcrawler's cannon ball into the pool and laughed when I saw that the three on the ground had gotten resoaked. I would have managed to keep myself under control had Kadrith not irritatedly shoved his bangs out of his eyes and glared at me, his expression reminding me all too much of a drowned rat.

"She's lost it," Telca muttered as I howled with laughter, clinging to the opposite side of the pool to keep myself from drowning.

"You only noticed that now?" Nightcrawler asked as he bamfed over to her and grabbed her arm. "C'mon in! The water's great!"

"No! NO! Don't you dar--" BAMF! SPLASH!! "I'll get you for this!!" Of course now that Telca was in the pool, I was in serious trouble. "C'mere you!"

I stuck my tongue out at her and effortlessly swam backwards out of her reach, blinking when something tapped me on the shoulder. Curious, I tilted my head back and looked up into Tvashtar and Kadrith's toothy grins. "Crud."

And thus world war three took place in the pool. I'd like to say that the males held their own, but Nightcrawler was just one teenager and Kadrith and Tvashtar simply couldn't equal the pure insanity that was Telca and I. I suppose that's why Zelgadis felt that he had to step in. Granted he could have done it in a kinder fashion.

"LY BRIEM!!"

The screeches that Telca and I loosed as the nice warm water turned arctic cold were probably heard in Japan. I hadn't known that I was capable of moving as quickly as I did to get out of that pool, grabbing Telca's towel and firmly wrapping it around myself as I stood there and shivered.

Telca, however, was a different story. "Zelgadis!! You'd better sleep with one eye open!!" She watched as he gave her the one finger salute before disappearing back into the Palace and turned her wrath on me. "That's my towel!"

I yelped as my source of warmth was ripped away from me and hugged myself. "That was evil. Remind me to sic Blackie on him when the Guys get back." I shivered, then yelped as leathery wings curled around me, making me look at Tvashtar in surprise. "What are you--?" A quick glance showed me that Kadrith was doing the same for Telca, granted she looked more shocked than I did. "Tvashtar...."

"You're our Avatars. Your welfare comes first," he rumbled as he freed one arm from his wings and made a quick gesture in the air above me, the warm wind that washed over us drying us in seconds.

I was so stunned that I pulled a Duncan. "You can do magick!" Stating the obvious is a gift that I never actually wanted to have.

"Of course. How else do you expect us to protect our Avatars?" Tvashtar chuckled, looking at me playfully.

"Uh, hello? Freezing fuzzy dude over here!" I blinked and looked over at a shivering Nightcrawler, watching as Telca fought her way free of Kadrith's wings and went over to drape her towel around the teen's shoulders.

"Well, now that Zel ruined our fun...." I sighed and gently pulled away from Tvashtar, turning to head for the Palace. "Might as well go shopping."

"Kewl! I'll go get changed!" BAMF! I coughed as the wind shifted directions, sending the cloud of brimstone after me.

"Shopping?"

"We kinda have to if you expect to eat this weekend," Telca said to Kadrith as she followed me. "The campers cleaned us out."

"We're going with you," Tvashtar announced as he easily caught up to me, frowning when he saw that I was still shivering. "You're still cold?"

"Considering that I just experienced arctic cold water, hell yes I'm still cold. And we already know that you and Kadrith are coming with us. Nightcrawler, Zel and Beast might be coming to...." I trailed off and frowned. "And I should go find Malcho."

Telca snickered. "Good luck."

I threw a glare at her over my shoulder and opened a portal. "I'll meet you in the Main Hall in twenty minutes." That said, I hopped into the mystical doorway and used my bed as a springboard that sent me flying into the large closet.

Ten minutes, three outfits and a fight with something at the far back of the closet later, I finally emerged comfortably dressed in black boots, blue jeans frayed at the knees and a light grey, white and blue army patterned tank top. I snatched a hair clip off the dresser on my way out of the room and yelped when I came face to chest with Tvashtar, the impact making me stumble backwards in surprise before I managed to catch myself. I didn't even blink when I saw that he hadn't even been phased by the run-in. "Gods, you're not attached to my hip, y'know. I can take care of myself."

He actually looked embarrassed. "It's not that, M'lady. Telca.... 'suggested' that Kadrith and I find some clothes. Something about 'hentai'?"

I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to follow me as I headed for one of the storage rooms in my wing of the Palace. I didn't really know how those rooms accumulated so much stuff, but I was rather sure that I was better off living in ignorance. Especially since the last time I had gone in there, I had seen the famous 'Titanic' diamond on a pedestal. "There's bound to be something in here," I told him as I opened the door and stepped into junk mayhem, hearing his gasp of shock as he followed me.

"What...what is this place?" he whispered, staring at the numerous piles of books, racks of clothes, magazines, cds, and movies. I think I saw an old computer in the corner.

"I have no clue. I think there's an errent portal in here or something. Stuff just...shows up. Hence the title 'the junk room'," I stepped over a pile of rolled up posters and made my way over to one of the racks of clothes. "Lesse... no. No. Ugh. Oh gods, the designer must have been on crack. No. Ah. Here."

"Hmm?" He looked up seconds before the pair of faded black jeans and matching vest smacked into his face and I had to smother a chuckle when he pulled them off and sent an annoyed look in my direction. "Thanks... I think. You're sure these will fit?"

"They should," I shrugged, frowning when I suddenly realized that the three dragons were being unusually quiet. They were shielding their thoughts. That wasn't good. The sound of cloth tearing made me look over at Tvashtar as he used a talon to slice a hole in the butt of the jeans, and I quirked an eyebrow as I watched him hop into the pants, his tail fitting through the hole he had just made. "You'd better hope that hole doesn't get any bigger."

"It's not as if people will see anything," he shrugged as he glanced back at his wings and frowned in concentration. I merely stood there and gaped as he flexed his wings once before they seemingly shrank into his back until it was as if he had never had wings in the first place.

"Wha?"

Tvashtar took in my completely shocked expression and chuckled. "It's a natural ability. I can summon and banish my wings at will," he told me as he pulled the vest on. "You were right. This fits perfectly."

I blinked, still dumbfounded. "Uh huh." Realizing that I was still staring at him, I shook myself and turned my attention to a pile of videos, paling when I saw what they were. "Remind me to hurt Xellos."

"Why?" He followed my gaze and made a sort of strangling sound.

I sighed and ushered him out of the room before his mind got any more damaged. "I'm just gonna go find Malcho and the littlings. I'll meet you downstairs in a bit, okay?"

"I should go with you," he protested, obviously still unused to having me as his Avatar. He'd learn.

"Don't worry. I can take care of myself. If you want to help me, you can track down the dragons, okay?" I swear he actually seemed relieved that I was asking him to do something. Gah, whoever had conditioned this guy deserved to be smacked in the head with something hard. Repeatedly. "I'll meet you in ten minutes," I told him as I opened a portal and leaped through, emerging in the middle of Malcho's room. I seriously didn't know how he managed to fit so many plants in one room... "Malcho? You here?"

Getting no response, I sighed and went through another portal, walking out into the backyard and staring at the deck above me before I knelt and crawled into the space that lead to the closed off area directly beneath the deck. "Malcho? Amigo, if you're making me crawl in the dirt for nothing I don't know what I'll do to you." Indeed, my annoyance rose another notch when I discovered that he wasn't here. Lovely. So where else would he go to hide?

Crossing my fingers, I portaled myself to the attic, sneezing at the cloud of dust that got thrown into the air by my sudden arrival. I was still in the middle of a sneezing fit when a wing helpfully fanned fresh air in my direction. Aha. "Gah. Malcho, what are you doing up here?!"

"Hiding out," he sighed, looking at me worriedly. "Are you alright, mi amiga?"

I coughed. "Yeah." I rose my gaze to meet his and blinked. "C'mere." It was more of an order than a request, but he obeyed just the same, a look of pure embarrassment in his eyes as he lowered his head close to me, letting me see the very visible bald spot/line that was just starting to regrow hair. "Lovely. Well, at least that explains Telca's babbling about a shaver." I reached up and hugged him as best I could, then pulled back to meet his now rather relaxed gaze. "We're going shopping. You wanna come?"

He chuckled. "Mi amiga, you have a cruel sense of humour. Exactly how would I be able to go with you?"

"Easy. I shrink you down again like I did when we hunted Wolvie down to that bar in Alberta, Canada. Remember? The cold?" He shuddered, and I grinned as I lightly patted him on the nose. "So?"

"Gracias, muchacha, but I think I'll take advantage of the quiet afternoon and go bask outside for a bit," he smiled, ever the regal attitude. "It's safer when Telca isn't around to sneak up on me."

"Good point. I'll try to send one of the littlings to warn you when we get back," I promised, reaching up to rub the curled fingers of my right hand over his left eyeridge before stepping back into the open portal. "See ya later then!"

~*~

If I had known what insanity awaited me, I probably would have tried to catch up with the campers. As it was, I had emerged into a battle over who was going to drive, Telca, the newly licensed Nightcrawler or Zelgadis. Kadrith was trying to interrupt them to state that he had a licence while Tvashtar wisely stayed out of it and simply acted as a living perch for my three dragons. I sighed and walked over to my Guardian, eyeing the verbal combatants warily. "How long have they been doing this?"

"Oh, about ten minutes," he chuckled as his brother threw his arms into the air in defeat and stalked over to us.

"They're not even listening to me!"

I grinned and let Kalamadea hop from Tvashtar's shoulder onto mine. "That's because you're not making enough noise. When people get like this, they'll only pay attention to whoever can yell the loudest or whoever's holding the better weapon." I took a moment to admire him in brown jeans and a sleeveless cream coloured tunic and decided that having these two around was a Good Thing.

Kadrith looked at me warily for a moment before grinning and looking over at the fighting trio. "Tvashtar?"

My Guardian actually smirked. "Ready." I watched as they both took large breaths, then yelped and clamped my hands over my ears as they loosed a loud duet of roars, the sound loud enough that the very walls shook.

"Itai!! Warn those of us with Elven hearing next time, okay?!" I growled as I tried to shake the ringing out of my ears, dimly aware that Zelgadis wasn't much better off than I was. Oversensitive hearing could be a curse.

However, they had managed to stop the bickering. Korin used the moment of shock to dart forward and snatch the keys out of Telca's hand before flying outside. I wasn't far behind. Quick! Give me the keys!

::Here,:: he chuckled as he landed on my left shoulder, the keys still dangling from his foreclaws. ::How mad is Telca going to be?::

"Lashana!!!"

Oh, about that mad. I ran for the closest car, which just happened to be a Ford Expedition (where did all these cars come from anyway?!), and scrambled into the drivers seat. "Tvashtar!! Hurry up, man!" I shoved the keys into the ignition with one hand while pulling my seatbelt on with the other. Korin and Kalamadea had already taken vantage spots on the dashboard as they telepathically yelled at Akhor to hurry up. Was I going to leave Telca behind? I looked over at the other sorceress and saw her twitch. Yes. Yes I was.

The moment Tvashtar threw himself into the front passenger seat, I turned the key, the engine roaring to life mere seconds later. I was dimly aware of Zelgadis scrambling into one of the back seats as I shifted into drive (gotta love automatics) and floored it, the tires screeching for purchase as the SUV surged forward. "Hold on!" I yelled as the car swung around a sharp corner, sending Zelgadis sprawling across the back seats before we hit the main road and settled into a calm 130km per hour.

I looked over at the closest passenger and discovered that Tvashtar had sunk his talons into the dashboard, a wild 'what the hell was that' look in his eyes. "You should put your seatbelt on," I told him, trying not to chuckle when he slowly turned wide eyes on me. "What?"

"Don't you think you're going a bit too fast?!" he yelped as he scrambled to tie himself, clutching at the strap of the seat belt afterwards as he stared out the windshield, watching the landscape fly by.

"We're only going 130," I told him, glancing at the three dragons that were clinging tightly to the dashboard while watching the zooming scenery. They had been driving with me before, and I was pleased to discover that they were almost as 'speed happy' as I was.

"Just be glad Telca isn't driving," Zelgadis said from the back seat. "She's more insane than Lashana."

"I resent that," I muttered sourly, unconsciously doing a routine glance at the rear-view mirror as we drove down the road. I yelped seconds later when my mind fully took in what I had seen, and returned my gaze to the mirror, staring at the oncoming Ford 150 SuperCrew Kingranch truck, paling when I realized that Telca was in the drivers seat with a grinning Nightcrawler next to her. "Oh. My. Gods."

"What?" Zelgadis frowned as he twisted to look behind us, a strangled cry of horror escaping him when he saw what I was seeing. "We're all gonna die."

Tvashtar turned to see what we were staring at and yelped as Telca bumped us, trying to get me off the road. "M'lady! This is insane!"

"That's the whole gist of it, yes." I swerved aside to give Telca room and glared at her when she moved forward so we were side by side. I glared at her some more and opened my window, seeing her gesture for Nightcrawler to do the same. "You're insane!" I screamed, sparing a glance at Kadrith and Beast who both seemed to be in the middle of a panic-attack.

"You're the one who stole the keys!"

"For good reason! I don't want to kill my Guardian!"

"Oh yeah? I'm not the one who drives like an old lady!"

"Hey! That means war!"

"I accept the challenge!" she grinned, pointing down the road. "Whoever gets to the Interdimensional Mall first wins!"

"You're on!"

"Hold on to something!" Zelgadis shouted to Tvashtar as I floored it, using the full advantage of the 4 x 4 capabilities of the vehicle.

I heard Tvashtar yelp as I plowed over a railing and proceeded to drive across old farmland, dimly aware that Telca was right on our bumper as I reached over and put the Spiderman Soundtrack CD into the player, jacking the volume way up. The three dragons had flown to the back of the car and were plastered against the rear window, making faces and rude gestures at Telca, eliciting an annoyed scream and a loud honk of the horn.

Tvashtar turned to look at me as we sailed over a ditch, the apparently contagious insanity starting to infect him as he helpfully pointed out easier places to drive through, helping me navigate the maze of fences that once kept livestock encaged. Telca and I were turning that once smart idea into a moot point by simply driving through the fences, shattering them. I only hoped that there wasn't any barbed wire fencing around here, a flat tire would not be a good thing.

"Wall!!" Zelgadis yelled, lunging forward so that he was between the two front seats as he pointed out the windshield at the stone wall in front of us.

That's too high for me to drive over.... "Tvashtar! Hold the wheel!" Once he had a firm grip on the steering wheel to keep the SUV in control, I leaned out my open window and rose a hand. "Source of all power, crimson fire burning bright! Gather to my hand and become my power! FIREBALL!!!"

"That's cheating!" Telca shouted as we monster trucked over the remains of the wall. I merely grinned and gave her the one finger salute.

"Quick thinking," Tvashtar chuckled, seemingly adjusted to this new level of craziness he had become a part of. Zelgadis was lying limp on the back seat, hyperventilating. My Guardian took a moment to open his window before fidgeting in his seat, growling in annoyance. At my look of 'what the hell', he smirked. "The chair isn't tail friendly."

"Oh. Right. I didn't think of that," I frowned, my attention divided between him and the ditch that was rapidly coming up. I spared a glance at the truck that was equal to us and stuck my tongue out at Telca before speeding up, hearing the engine roar in either annoyance or challenge. With my luck, the SUV had been in this dimension too long and was developing an intelligence of its own. I've been watching too many Team Knight Rider reruns....

::Mommy?:: I glanced back at Kalamadea at the call.

Yes?

::Um....Telca's got this insane look in her eyes and I think Kadrith is screaming.:: I blinked and looked over at the truck. Sure enough, people were going insane over there.

Kewl. Hold on, littlings. We're going to finish this race once and for all. Throwing caution to the winds, I slammed my foot all the way down on the gas pedal and kept it there, clutching at the steering wheel hard enough that my knuckles were turning white as I plowed through a guard rail and screeched onto a highway. I was dimly aware of Tvashtar and Zelgadis screaming in panic as we cut across five lanes of traffic before jumping a curb, flattening a stop sign and shoving a Buick aside before we roared into the Interdimensional Mall's parking lot. "We won! Hahaha!!"

Telca drove up to us seconds later and came to a screaming stop. Literally. Nightcrawler, Beast and Kadrith just would not shut up. The three piled out of the truck and dropped to their knees, kissing the pavement and babbling something about 'blessed unmoving ground'.

I chuckled and turned off the CD player as I cut the engine, sending an amused glance in Tvashtar's direction as he laughed at his brother. Looks like I've finally brought him to the dark side. "Zel?" I unbuckled myself and twisted around to look at him, chuckling when I saw that he was in a heap on the floor with Ahkor and Korin. "Zel, what are you doing to my littlings?"

::Do we really want to know?:: Kalamadea asked as he flew over to me and took his usual perch on my right shoulder.

"Hmm. Good point," I grinned as I hopped out of the suv, pocketing the keys as I slammed the door shut and looked over at Telca and gang. "What took you so long?"

She growled. "Shaddup."

Ooh. Aren't we touchy today? "Fine fine." I opened the back door and pulled Zel out, pausing to gather Akhor and Korin into my arms before dumping the chimera onto the ground, leaving him there as I locked the door and closed it. "Shall we shop?"

"Ladies, are you certain that these establishments will allow us access?" Beast frowned, looking at us curiously. "Kurt and I did not bring our image inducers, and your two Guardians, forgive me, are rather noticeable non-humans."

"Chill, Beast. This is the Interdimensional Mall. All the dimensions intersect here, remember? You lot will probably be the most normal people there!" Telca smiled as she and I headed for the mall entrance, pointing at the spaceship that was parked nearby. "See? You'll be fine."

I looked at the spaceship for a moment before leaning closer to Telca. "Isn't that the same ship from Men in Black? The one that the huge bug had?"

She glanced from me to it. "Um....maybe?" At my look of slight panic, she glanced back at the five Guys and sighed. "Anyone here afraid of giant cockroaches?"

"What?!"

~*~

"Do we get the groceries first or last?"

"Last," Telca told me. "That way the ice cream and the meats won't melt and go bad while we shop."

"Point," I agreed, glancing at Tvashtar as he walked by my side, his gaze trying to take in everything around him. I reached out and gently touched his arm, drawing his attention. "Never been in a mall before?"

"Our other Avatars didn't see fit to include us in much of anything," Kadrith answered for his brother from where he was walking next to Telca's other side. "And even then, nothing was like....this." He gestured to the shopping mayhem around us.

"Geez, dude. That really sucks," Nightcrawler muttered, cheering up seconds later. "Good thing Lashana and Telca aren't like that!"

I rolled my eyes, then turned my attention to the throng of people around us, eyeing an Alternate Universe version of Indiana Jones for a moment before seeing a music and video store nearby. "I'm heading there. Telca? Guys? You coming or shall we just meet back here in...oh...say, two hours?"

"My place is by your side, M'lady," Tvashtar reminded me, forcing me to smother my original comment about that. "Besides, considering that I don't know my way around, it would be stupid of me to wander off." Okay. That was a good point.

"We'll meet back here in two hours," Zelgadis said, sending a dismissive wave in our general direction as he headed for a nearby Second Cup coffee restaurant. I sighed and shook my head. Those employees had no clue what was in store for them. Oh well, it wasn't my problem.

I turned my attention to my dragons. "You three have to stay with either me or Tvashtar at all times, okay?" I saw my Guardian startle in surprise at my words. "With all the different dimensions meeting here there's no telling what could happen to you."

::Oh alright,:: Korin sighed, flexing his wings for a moment before flying out of my arms and going to land on a still shocked Tvashtar's right shoulder. ::What's with you?::

My Guardian blinked, then looked from Korin to me as Akhor crawled up my shirt to sit on my left shoulder, his tail joining Kalamadea's in curling around my neck. "Sorry. I suppose that I'm not used to this yet," he admitted. I sighed and met his gaze, recognizing the inner turmoil there as he tried to wrap his mind around the fact that I considered him and equal and a friend instead of just some servant.

"I'll see you later then," Telca announced as she headed for a bookstore with a wary Kadrith in tow. "Nightcrawler, don't start bamfing everywhere. The smoke will set off the fire alarms."

"That only happened once!" The teen protested as he followed her, leaving Beast to head for the nearest Radio Shack. I was now officially starting to wonder if this had been a good idea. Luckily that passed quickly, and I grinned as I grabbed Tvashtar's right arm and dragged him towards Music World.

"M'lady?" I glared at him. "Uh, Lashana. What is this place?"

"This is the best place to buy music," I told him as I pulled him into the store and over to one of the trial stands. "Here. Listen." I grabbed the headphones and shoved them onto his head before peering at the selections and choosing the new Remy Shand cd. I saw his eyes widen in surprise as he rose his hands to touch the headphones, and I chuckled as I upped the volume a little, watching him as he closed his eyes, his tail weaving in time to the music. This boy has to get out more. I ducked around him and headed for the new releases, hoping to find something of actual interest. Oooh! New David Usher! And the new Our Lady Peace!!

The cds firmly in my hands, (I would have left nail marks in the cases if anyone tried to take them away) I turned and looked over at Tvashtar, who was practically dancing to the music he was still listening to. Korin? Don't let him embarrass himself.

::Aw. Where's the fun in that, Elfy?:: the green dragon chuckled from where he was still clinging to the Guardian's shoulder. ::Besides, I like this music.::

I've listened to that cd dozens of times at home. You never liked it before.

::That's because I didn't like that singer. His voice is much better.::

'His' voice? Tvashtar? I made my way through the crowd and snuck up behind my Guardian, my eyes widening when I heard him singing along to the lyrics. I blinked, realizing that, yes indeed, Tvashtar's voice was much better than Shand's and that I was currently making a total fool out of myself by standing there and staring at him like a slack-jawed yokel.

Moving slowly so as not to startle him, I stepped around his swaying tail and lightly touched his left arm, seeing his eyes snap open in shock as he jerked away and fairly ripped the headphones off.

"M'lady, forgive me! I didn't mean--!"

I shook my head and cut him off by reaching up to lay a finger over his lips. "Shh." Now that I had him completely confused, I pulled my hand away and smiled at him. "That was beautiful, Tvashtar. You should never apologise for that."

"You heard?"

"Half the store heard," I smirked, gesturing to the crowd that was watching us and grinning when they took that as their cue to applause wildly. When it looked like he was going to either bolt or succeed in willing himself into the floor, I frowned and glanced at Kalamadea. "Kalama? Relay please."

He grinned and nodded, his thoughts telepathically linking me to Tvashtar. I had discovered that he could do this little trick quite by accident. It certainly saved me from having to put up with Mewtwo's constant psychic training. ::Ready, Elfy.::

I nodded and looked at Tvashtar. Can you hear me? He jerked slightly, then looked at me in shock. I'll take that as a 'yes'. Tvashtar, I know this is a huge change for you. But you have to come to terms with the fact that you're not a slave anymore. Hell, I've half a mind to get Gaia and L-Sama to release you and Kadrith from this stupid obligation you have to serving Avatars, so that you'd be able to lead your own life. I glanced at the still clapping crowd. That's your applause right now, hun. Not for me, not for anyone else, just you. If this entire crowd can treat you like a free soul, why can't you treat yourself that way?

Tvashtar stared at me for a long time before darting his gaze over to the crowd, a look of awe in his eyes as he watched them for a moment. "Thank you," he said, barely loud enough to be heard over the crowd.

"In honour of our melodious guest, all Remy Shand cds are now an extra 30% off!" I blinked up at the P.A. system for the store, then grabbed Tvashtar's arm and forcibly yanked him out of the way of the now rabid mob before pulling him over to the cash.

After I had charged the cds (the stolen Xavier Visa Gold Card, never leave home without it, hehe), I tugged my Guardian out of the store and over to a bench, forcing him to sit down as I met his gaze worriedly. "Tvashtar, are you okay?"

Apparently noticing that lying wasn't going to go over very well with me, he sighed and slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at the floor. "Did you mean what you said?"

"I've said a lot of things, be a tad more specific."

"About freeing us....and....and my singing...." Aha. So that's what this was all about. I sighed and sat next to him, copying his complete lack of decent posture and reaching out to lightly stroke the back of his arched neck, following a hunch I had that this might help him relax. Hey, the hunch was right about Mewtwo.

"I don't lie to my friends. Well....at least not over the important stuff." I smiled and lightly nudged him in the ribs, making him look at me. "I meant every word, Tvashtar. And, hell yes, you have an amazing voice. Even Korin liked it. Right Korin? Uh....Korin?" I straightened and looked around, panicked at the lack of green dragon. "Korin!?"

"EEEEEKK!!" We both turned at the shriek in time to see a green torpedo shoot out of a Tim Horton's store, a chocolate donut firmly lodged in it's mouth.

::Hey! You'd better plan on sharing that!:: Akhor growled as Korin landed on the back of the bench and started to demonstrate that yes, he had a bottomless pit for a stomach and no, he wasn't the sharing type.

"There are days where I want to glue him to a wall," I muttered to Tvashtar, who actually chuckled. "That's better. Did you really think I'd say something like that and not mean it?"

"I don't know anymore," he admitted, gazing over at a store but not really seeing it. "I've always wished that an Avatar would treat me like you do. Like an equal, not some animal. But now that things have changed.... I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

I sighed, not really knowing what to say to that, and merely leaned against him, slipping my arms around his middle to hug him as best I could in this awkward position. He tensed for a moment before laying a hand on one of my arms, his tail curling around my waist as he leaned against me. "You know what you need?"

"What?"

"A chocolate and strawberry sundae. With sprinkles." I grinned and leapt to my feet, feeling his tail tighten around me in reflex as I grabbed his hands and yanked him to his feet. "C'mon. You're getting a crash course in comfort foods."

~*~

An hour later found us on our third sundae apiece. Hey, it was nutritious! Ice cream was milk, chocolate was....milk chocolate.....which was milk...., the strawberries and cherries were fruit, and the sprinkles were.... they didn't count. Anyway, I had apparently converted Tvashtar into the chocoholics group, because now he couldn't get enough of the stuff. I had also managed to get him hooked on cherry slushies. I have no idea how, but as long as I didn't have another contender for the morning coffee, I was happy.

"What did you call this again?"

I arched an eyebrow in my Guardians direction. "Which? The crushed oreos, the chocolate chips or the smarties? Ye Gods, is there even any ice cream under all that?"

"There'd better be," he muttered, digging his spoon in a little deeper. "Yep. There is."

::And you thought we had bottomless pits for stomachs,:: Kalamadea sent to me as I leaned back in the chair and pushed the rest of my sundae in the trio's direction.

"What? You're not finishing it?" I groaned and looked at Tvashtar, wondering what kind of a monster I had created.

"If I eat anything else you're not gonna like what'll happen," I told him as I reached for my glass of Pepsi, idly watching the trio as they stuck their heads into the bowl and polished off my sundae in record time. "Besides, they'll whine if they don't get any."

::We do not whine.:: Akhor informed me as he rose his head from the bowl and licked his muzzle clean.

"You whine," I smirked. "Loudly."

::We learned from the master,:: Kalamadea snickered, looking at me smugly.

"What? You've actually been spending time with Telca?" Ah yes, evilness. You have to love it. A half-muffled burp made me glance at Tvashtar as he finally pushed his bowl away and leaned back, sighing contentedly. "Feel better? After all that chocolate you have to be feeling something."

"I think I love this new job," he grinned as he grabbed his slushie and took a long drink, wincing afterwards. "What the?"

I chuckled. "That would be what's usually called an 'ice cream headache'. You get it if you eat something super cold....or guzzle half a frozen slushie like you just did. It'll pass." I took a sip of my own drink and then looked over the rest of the food court, blinking when I saw Jabba the Hutt in line for Kentucky Fried Chicken. I may never eat that stuff again....

"What is it?" Tvashtar frowned when he saw the look of pure disgust on my face. He turned in his seat and stared over at Jabba as the....whatever he was....upended three buckets of fried chicken into his mouth. "That's sick. We don't need to see this, c'mon."

I let him pull me to my feet as the three dragons retook their places on our shoulders, then paled when I saw Korin look in the direction of Jabba. Oh lords no....

::Hey ugly! There's a thing called Slim-fast!! You should buy a truckload of it!!::

I groaned and rose a hand to my forehead in an exasperated smack. "Why me?" A quick glance in the...whatever's direction showed me that yes, Jabba was capable of moving quickly and yes, he was headed straight for us. This required a plan. Unfortunately I wasn't much of a planner. "Run away!!"

My Guardian yelped as I grabbed his arm and proceeded to drag him through the food court, vaulting over tables and people as I did so. "Wait! I dropped my slushie!"

"Bugger the damn slushie! You'd rather the huge slug thing get us?!"

"Uh. No."

"Very good." I leapt over a stroller and landed on a table while Tvashtar lithely twisted in my hold to land on his feet on the floor next to said table. I ignored his showoffiness and looked in the direction of a lot of yelling and screaming, groaning when I saw Jabba literally ploughing his way through the food court, eating any food that happened to be in his reach at the time. "Yeesh."

::Mommy! Up there!:: The trio only called me 'mommy' if they were tired, sick or very scared. Judging by the thing coming towards us I figured that it was the latter of the three. Following Kalamadea's gaze showed me that we were directly beneath one of the open spaces between mall levels. Thus a plan sputtered it's way into existence.

Taking a good look at the floor above us, I closed my eyes and concentrated. Portals don't fail me now! "Get in!" Not waiting for an answer, I chucked Tvashtar into the glowing doorway that appeared in front of me, then turned to give Jabba the one finger salute before leaping after my Guardian.

::Close the portal! Close the portal!:: Ahkor screamed in my mind as I lay dazed on the tiled floor, stunned from my forehead's impact with concrete. I rolled onto my back and squinted at the portal, exerting a bit of magick before seeing it snap closed.

"Korin, next time, keep your big mouth shut, okay?"

::Yes mommy.::

"Gah." I lay back onto the floor and stared at the ceiling for a moment before an important fact clicked in my mind. "My CDs!!"

Tvashtar had just managed to pick himself up off the floor when I lunged to my feet and ran to the railing, looking down at a still peeved Jabba and my bag of CDs that was lying on the floor close to him. The look of horror on my face must have been priceless, because there was a definite tone of panic in my Guardian's voice as he ran over to me. "M'lady, what's wrong?!" I whimpered and pointed down at the brightly coloured bag amidst the mayhem, hearing his low groan of despair moments later.

::I'll get it!:: I jerked and tried to catch Kalamadea as he flew off my shoulder, hearing Tvashtar's yelp as he grabbed my belt, keeping me from throwing myself over the railing.

"Kalamadea! Don't!" I yelled desperately, my heart leaping into my throat as the dragon swooped into the mess and reappeared holding the bag in his foreclaws. Unfortunately, the slug....er I mean....Jabba, was indeed faster than people gave him credit for. The moment I saw him reach for Kalamadea was when I felt something in me snap.

"Lashana, what are you--" I cut Tvashtar off by shoving Korin and Akhor into his arms before I hopped up to stand on the railing, glaring down at Jabba murderously as Kalamadea whimpered and cried out for me, his wing twisting grotesquely as Jabba tightened his hold on him. At that moment, I don't truly know what I looked like or what expression I had on my face, but it was enough that Tvashtar gasped and grabbed my right wrist. "M'lady! You can't be thinking--"

"No one hurts my family," I growled as I pulled on the Chaos, using just enough power so as to be able to boost my magicks, unaware that by doing so I had made my eyes turn gold. "Stay here. I'll be right back." And with that I pulled away and threw myself off the railing. An aura of power flared to life around me, the gold tinged with flecks of black as I wove my Raywing spell and flew at Jabba, a spell gathering in my right hand as I neared him. "Let. Him. Go!! DIEM WIND!!"

The spell hit Jabba head on, and I quickly snatched Kalamadea out of the slug's hold as the wind attack sent him sprawling backwards, leaving him to crash into the A&W restaurant, the counter splintering under him. I looked from him to Kalamadea, humming softly to calm my littling as I wove a Healing spell on his wing, smiling when he crooned and rubbed his cheek against my throat. "Are you alright?"

::Yes. I got the CDs.:: He sounded so proud and so smug that I couldn't help but laugh, cradling him close as I flew up to rejoin the others and then smirking at Tvashtar when he gaped at me.

"What? You knew I was the Chaos Knight. Close your mouth, you're catching flies." I held out my arms and caught the other two dragons that flew at me, letting Akhor and Korin perch on my shoulders while I kept Kalamadea in my arms.

"You've already learned how to tap into the Chaos?!" Tvashtar blurted, still staring at me.

"Well yeah. I've even got the transformation keyed into a certain spell to speed up the change in case of emergencies. Why?"

"How long have you had it? The Chaos?"

I blinked, startled by all these questions. Granted if it was this important to him, I might as well answer him, right? "A little over a month."

"That's it?!" When I merely blinked at him again, he shook himself out of his stunned trance and explained. "No other Avatars have managed to control the Chaos without guidance. Never mind use it so flawlessly!"

"I wouldn't say 'flawlessly'," I muttered, cradling Kalamadea in the crook of my left arm while I rose my right, letting Tvashtar see the points of the spines that were partially emerged from my flesh. "I can't control these."

He frowned and met my gaze as he walked forward and reached out to take my arm, peering at the spines for a moment before he pressed two talon-tipped fingers against either side of my arm, smiling at my yelp of surprise when the spines suddenly retracted.

"How the flamin' hell did you do that?" I demanded, staring at my arm as the familiar black rune-like markings appeared over the spots where the spines had emerged from.

"You have to learn how to control the muscles in your arms," he murmured as he ran a finger over the marks on my arm. "Then you can summon and banish the spines at will. The Chaos is a part of you now, remember? Both body and soul. Though you'll certainly be an easier pupil than the others. They couldn't even control their own Chaos heightened magicks."

"Pupil?"

He chuckled. "I'm your Guardian and Teacher, remember? I can teach you how to use every aspect of the Chaos, M'lady..." he trailed off at the look I gave him, then smirked. "I mean, Lashana."

"That's better. And if you're reacting like this to me, then Kadrith is gonna have kittens. Telca's got perfect control of her powers, she's even started writing her own spells to use in cadence with her Gaia powers."

"You two....you're....amazing! Who are you people?! This is completely unheard of!" I leaned back against the railing and let him rant a bit more before I reached out and poked him in the ribs.

"You're making a scene," I murmured.

::Oh like you didn't when you flew down and pulverized tubbo?:: Korin snorted, ignoring the glare I sent him.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Fine." I grabbed Korin and shoved him into Tvashtar's arms. "You both can stay here and freak out over whatever. I'm going shopping!" That said, I turned on my heel and headed for my favourite clothes store, hoping that they'd still have some decent jeans in stock, my last three pairs had met an untimely death via Xellos and six cans of whipped cream (don't ask).

Tvashtar managed to catch up to me fifteen minutes later as I exited one of the changing rooms and walked out in front of a mirror, turning this way and that to try to see if the midnight black jeans and shimmering sky-blue sleeveless blouse did anything for me. "I was wondering when you'd show up. What do you think? Decent or not?"

I swear, if his eyes had widened any more they probably would have rolled right out of his head. "W-What?"

"Your opinion of the outfit?"

"It's not my place...."

"It is now."

He swallowed and backed up a step, glancing at Kalamadea and Akhor who were perched on the back of a chair and looking at me approvingly before gathering his courage. "You'd look better in the dark blue blouse."

"That's what I thought," I nodded as I turned and grabbed the other blouse off a rack, heading into the changing room seconds later. "There's a section for males near the back of the store, go take a gander." Korin?

::Yeah?::

Don't chew the clothes.

::How'd you--?!::

I know you. I thought, smirking when I 'felt' his annoyance.

That whole conversation had taken less than ten seconds, hence the fact that Tvashtar was only now answering me : "M'lady, I couldn't impose like--"

"Either you go willingly or I'll drag you over there once I finished getting changed," I chuckled as I put the first blouse back onto a hanger and pulled on the second one. When I emerged for the second time, I wasn't very surprised to see him still there. I swear, he's going to make me develop a twitch. "You're a stubborn, stubborn male, you know that? C'mon."

~*~

"Holy shit! What'd you do, buy out a store?!" Telca cried when we reached the scheduled meeting place half an hour later.

"Three actually," I grinned as I set my bags down and rose a hand to brush my bangs out of my eyes, looking at the bag laden Kadrith afterwards. "'Sides, you look like you did the same."

"Cotton Ginny had a sale."

"They did?! Aw dammit! Where's the store? I still have a few minutes before the others get here!"

"Ack! No!" Tvashtar yelped. "We have enough stuff!"

"But it's Cotton Ginnyyyyy!" I whined. Whining is an art. You have to hit just the right pitch so that people will do just about anything to get you to shut up. Telca and I were masters of it, so naturally, Tvashtar didn't have a chance. He caved. Very quickly. "Kewl! I'll be right back!"

Tvashtar looked over at Kadrith as I bolted for the store and smirked. "Is your Avatar as nuts as mine?"

"Hey! I resent the implications of that!" Telca growled, blinking when I leapt out of a portal seconds later, laden down with three more bags. "Well. That was quick."

"I just got one of everything," I grinned. "Shall we go dump this stuff in the cars before the others get here?"

"Might as well, I'm not lugging this stuff around longer than I have to," she grumbled as she picked up three bags and lugged them towards the doors. I snickered and took hold of my previously set down bags and effortlessly ran after Telca.

"S'a shame you're not Elven!" I said sweetly. "The extra boost in strength makes this really easy!"

"Really? Then you wouldn't mind carrying these!" And thus I learned never to brag about anything around Telca. Because now I was carrying nine bags and now I was feeling it.

"I hate you." I growled.

She chuckled evilly and rose her right hand, rubbing the pads of her thumb and index finger together. "Here's the world's smallest violin playing the world's saddest song just for you." She rose her left hand as well. "In stereo."

I snarled, the sound making Kadrith move so that he was between me and Telca. I glared at him while Telca looked around him and made faces at me while we crossed the parking lot. Grumbling various opinions of her under my breath, I stalked over to my car and somehow managed to juggle the bags while getting out the keys and unlocking the trunk, dropping my bags into it before flinging Telca's bags over in her general direction.

"Hey! Watch it! There's DVD's in there!" Telca cried as she ran forward and caught her stuff. I merely gritted my teeth and tried to resist the urge to Dragon Slave something.

A low rumble made me glance over at Tvashtar and I sighed when I saw the concern in his eyes. "M'fine." I muttered as he placed his load of bags into the trunk, then stepped back while I slammed it shut.

"Liar."

"Well, yes." I felt Kalamadea nuzzle my cheek lightly while Akhor crooned in my ear and sighed again. I'm alright, littlings. Honest.

"C'mon," Tvashtar murmured as he draped an arm around my shoulders and guided me back to the mall. "You didn't tell me you had a temper."

"You didn't ask," I shrugged, looking over at Telca and Kadrith as they rejoined us. Loud screams drew my attention back to the doors of the mall, and I blinked at the sight of numerous Second Cup employees bolting from the building. "Okaaay. That was new."

"I think your chimera's gone nuts," Telca commented once we were back inside and staring at Zelgadis as he swung from a potted tree while holding a large cup of what seemed to be espresso.

"Oh lords...." I whispered when he saw me and literally bound over to me.

"HiLashanawhereveyoubeenyourelatewheresNightcrawlerandBeastandyoureallyshouldtrythisitsreallygood!"

I exchanged panicked looks with Telca, then shrank back until I was practically cowering in Tvashtar's arms. "Oh dear Gods, he's hyper!" I cried as Zel held his cup out to me, his hand shaking so hard that most of the drink ended up on the floor. Here was an overcaffeinated chimera, the most dangerous of all beings. And we weren't prepared to handle him. What was worse was that we were in a public place, so we also had to worry about outside catalysts that could set him off.

"I think you've had enough," Tvashtar muttered as he reached out to take the mug away from Zelgadis, recoiling in shock when Zel hissed and tried to bite his hand.

::Has he had his rabies shots lately?:: Korin asked from his perch on Tvashtar's left shoulder.

::No clue. But I'm still not going near him.:: Akhor muttered.

"This calls for dirty underhanded measures," Telca whispered to me. I nodded in agreement. "Good. Let's set him loose on a Starbucks and make a run for it."

"That's your plan?!"

"It's a good plan."

Kadrith, who of course had been listening in, shrugged and looked at us. "A problem shared is a problem halved." Naturally he had yet to learn that saying things like that around Telca was inviting brand new problems all on it's own.

"'A problem shared is a problem halved'? Who told you something that ridiculous? A problem shared is just inviting the problem to get worse!"

"Then why are we sharing?!" I protested, gesturing to Zel as he tried to lick the inside of his mug to get the last drops of coffee. "We have to trank him or something!"

She grumbled for a moment before looking from Zel to me. "You got one of those baseball bats of yours?"

When I nodded and pulled one out of a portal, she grinned and snatched it out of my hands. "Observe."

I blinked and watched her run at Zel, bat held high. Too late I realized her intention. "NO! That's my favourite bat!!"

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!!!

"There!" Telca smiled, the heavily dented bat dropping to the floor as she let go of it. "Problem solved."

::He's going to have one hell of a headache when he wakes up,:: Kalamadea noted as we all looked down at the unconscious and twitching chimera.

::Um...Elfy?:: I glanced towards Korin at the call and frowned at the look of panic in Tvashtar's eyes.

Oh frak.... "Telca! We'll meet you at the grocery store!" I called as I grabbed my Guardians arm and dragged him towards the store, blinking when he pulled free and walked ahead of me. "Tvashtar, listen to me. We're not going to hurt you. Okay? Tvashtar?" When he shivered and nodded, I sighed and hesitantly reached out to bring him to a halt, meeting his gaze when he looked at me. "That other Avatar hurt you bad, didn't she?"

"'Bad' doesn't even begin to describe it," he whispered raggedly. "I was in her service for fifty years.... I know you and Telca would never hurt me, but sometimes.... even if I know you wouldn't.... sometimes I just can't control the fear...."

I half felt like trying to take on another psychic link so I could help him. If it wasn't for the knowledge that it could adversely affect my littlings, I probably would have. But instead, I merely laced my right arm through his left and gently tugged him towards a nearby snack stand. "Next time, instead of nearly having a panic attack, tell me. Okay?" When he nodded, I smiled and placed a five dollar bill into his hand. "Go get yourself a slushie."

Ah, the miracle slushie. I swear, I didn't think he was capable of doing such a rapid mood swing. He also damn near knocked me over while he bolted for the indoor canteen. I smiled and leaned against a huge potted tree, folding my arms over my chest as I watched him. Well....I think I have my work cut out for me...

::Looks like it. Though he's certainly better than he was when he first arrived at the Palace,:: Kalamadea murmured as he shifted so that he could lie down, curling his body around the back of my neck.

True. Though I really would have gone to kill that bitch if she was still alive.

::We know,:: Akhor rumbled softly as he gently nuzzled at my left cheek. ::He's like your brother, you know.::

I grimaced. I don't have a brother.

::Not like that,:: Kalamadea chuckled. ::You treat him like family. Since you're already involved with Blackie, then Tvashtar is like your brother. You two get along very well, but in a different manner than you and your Bonded.::

When did you get so smart?

::I've been hanging out with Daddy a lot.::

Wise cracking lizard....

"Sip?"

I jerked slightly, raising my gaze from the floor to look at Tvashtar. "What?"

"I asked if you wanted a sip," he repeated, holding out the large cherry slushie. "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah," I made a dismissive gesture. "Sorry. I was telepathically talking to the littlings. It's distracting." I smiled and reached out to take the glass, taking a quick drink before handing it back to him. "Gods that's good. Okay, c'mon. Nightcrawler and Beast must have met up with Telca by now. We'd better head to the grocery store."

He nodded and followed me, walking by my side. "Thank you, by the way. For helping. And for the slushie. You want the change back?"

"Nah. Keep it," I smiled. "And you're welcome." I stepped through the automatic doors and grabbed a cart, blinking when he gently elbowed me aside and took it from me. "Hey...."

"I'll follow you. There's no point in you pushing this thing, I have no idea where to head for, I'd only get in the way." Okay. So he had a point. But it was rare that I let any of the other males do this. Why? Simple, they excelled in sneaking off to go fill the cart with junk food. Once, Telca and I had caught Wolvie trying to buy thirteen bags of pork rinds. Pork rinds! I couldn't even pronounce half the chemical ingredients in those things!

"Well, thanks then. But we gotta wait for Telca and the others." I guided him over to a display of cola 24 packs and leaned back against the side of the cart as I opened a flyer I had snatched out of someone else's cart, looking through it curiously. Hmm.... the cases of cherry Pepsi are on sale. Good, 'Two will love me forever....

"Ahem."

I blinked and looked towards the voice, staring at Beast as he pushed a cart containing the still unconscious chimera over to us. "I don't want to know. Where's Telca and Kadrith?"

"Here," Telca called, waving a flyer to get my attention as she and her Guardian joined us, pushing another cart. "Has anyone seen Fuzzy?"

BAMF!! "Sorry, dudes. Got distracted by the arcade."

I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face, trying to clear the air of brimstone smoke. "S'okay...." Once I had recovered enough to remember how to breathe properly, I glanced at Telca and quirked an eyebrow at her. "Shall we shop?"

"Just a minute. I need a drink." I sighed and leaned against Tvashtar, hearing his low chuckle as we watched Telca head for the vending machine. Everything seemed fine. She dug change out of her pocket, put it into the machine, pressed a button.... and that's where things started going downhill. "It ate my money!"

"Uh oh," I murmured, glancing at Tvashtar. "Look away. This is going to be bad."

He blinked at me for a moment before hesitantly raising his gaze to look over at Telca, who was now hitting and kicking the vending machine while cussing up a blue streak. I hadn't been aware that vending machines were capable of doing that with a dead fish and a laser printer....

And then a weapon was added to the mix.

"Oh my stars and garters!" Beast cried as Nightcrawler dove behind a display, peeking around it to look at Telca as she pulled her axe out of a portal and advanced on the machine.

"What say you?" she growled, glaring at the vending machine rather murderously. "Will you yield, and this avoid? Or, guilty in defence, be thus destroyed?"

"She does know that's it's not going to answer her, right?" Tvashtar whispered to me as she continued to glare at the machine.

"I don't think we should go into that right now," I muttered as Telca loosed a screech of anger and leapt at the machine, the dust cloud that formed blocking most of the attack from view. Though we did manage to catch glimpses of an axe, a crowbar, a fireball and a rubber chicken before the vending machine tumbled out of the cloud and crashed down onto it's side, a single can of Sprite rolling out of the dispenser tray.

Now cheerful and thankfully unarmed, Telca went over to pick up her drink, smiling happily as she proclaimed : "O' Lord, thy arm was here this day."

::Mommy? Is she on medication or something?:: Korin asked.

Not that I know of.

::Maybe she should be,:: Akhor whimpered as he shrunk back into the curtain of my hair, hiding himself in it.

"Okaaaaay. That was the strangest thing I've ever seen," Tvashtar announced, his eyes a tad wider than they were before.

Kadrith shot me a pleading look. "She's not always like that....right?!"

"You should see her when someone steals her chocolate," Nightcrawler whispered. "It's downright frightening."

I shrugged. "She has her moments."

"Oh like you're one to talk," Telca growled, looking at me pointedly. "Need I state the early morning fights you have with Rock-boy here for a cup of measly coffee as reference?"

"It's not measly! It's the first cup out of a fresh pot! It's the best!" I protested, not caring that I had just incriminated myself. Knowing that the triumphant smirk on Telca's face would eventually end up with me trying to strangle her, I growled and grabbed Tvashtar's arm, dragging him towards the fresh produce.

"Y'know, I'm really starting to wonder why we don't go to a normal store," Nightcrawler muttered as he neared a display and watched something that resembled a purple celery stalk try to strangle a neon green carrot. I pulled him away before the red and turquoise artichoke smacked him.

"Because this is closer to home, that's why," I informed him as I went to get a ten pound bag of Macintosh apples and another of Red Delicious. I wasn't touching the Granny Smiths. Last time Wolvie had gotten the wrong bag and a horde of three inch tall grandmothers had tried to take over the Palace. I wasn't going to go through that again in my lifetime.

"Hey! It's free sample day!" Telca called from where she was directing Kadrith on which twenty pound bag of potatoes to get, waving to get my attention then pointing to a small group of people surrounding an indoor grill.

Mmm....free food. Ack! I reached out and grabbed Akhor out of the air, tucking him under my left arm. "Oh no you don't! I remember last time's fiasco!"

"Fiasco?" Tvashtar frowned as he handed me his slushie and took the two bags of apples from me.

"Yeah," I murmured, taking a sip of his drink. "Akhor got loose in the store and ate a ten pound block of cheese. We found him throwing up in some guy's cart."

"Lovely. Hey, give that back!" I chuckled and let him take his slushie back before going to pick out a few tomatoes and a 'normal' piece of celery.

"What do you two eat anyway? Anything I should avoid or what?"

"Nah. We'll eat anything...." he trailed off and eyed something that resembled a blue watermelon that was actually eyeing him back. "....within limits."

"Ditto," I muttered as we moved away from the produce that was looking at us as if we were the main course. "If anything in this store touches me, there will be many fireballs involved in my reaction."

He smirked. "Thanks for the warning."

I shrugged and headed for the closest sample table, ducking around a version of Connor Macleod, taking one look at what was being served, then clamping my right hand over my mouth and slowly backing away.

"What? Lashana?" Tvashtar lay a hand on my left arm and looked at me worriedly.

::Give her a minute,:: Kalamadea said woozily, obviously not liking what we had just witnessed either. Hell, even Akhor seemed a little green.

::What was it?:: Korin asked curiously, climbing up onto the top of Tvashtar's head and then perching on his horns, trying to see over the gang of people. ::Ew.::

"I could have lived my life without having seen how haggis was made," I whispered, still unsure if my mind and stomach could handle what I had seen.

"Oh, gross, dude! What is that?!" Nightcrawler yelled in disgust.

"It's haggis, of course!" Connor said happily. "Doesn't it smell great?!"

I will not hurl, I will not hurl, I will not hurl.... "Can we get upwind of that, please?"

Tvashtar took one look at me and practically carried me into the frozen food isle, well away from the display. "What's haggis?"

I grimaced. "Sheeps heart and liver stuffed into a sheep's stomach and boiled for three hours." And thus I learned that despite his black colouring, he could indeed manage to turn green. "Exactly. Gah. The smell alone is enough to--"

"Stop! Please." he groaned, raising his slushie cup and resting the cold side of it against his forehead, unknowingly letting Korin take a drink of the stuff. "That's disgusting."

"You didn't see it!"

"I'm glad I didn-- Hey! Why you little--! You drank all of my slushie!!"

::Hehehe.::

This is going to be a long grocery run. I sent to Kalamadea, who whimpered and burrowed into my hair.

"Elfy? Where are ya?!" I blinked at the loud scream and turned to look towards the end of the isle as Telca, now in control of her cart, careened into sight. "Oh! There you are! Did you get the frozen pizza yet?"

"Just got here. Recovering from sight of fresh haggis."

"Ew."

"You don't know the half of it," I grimaced, glancing around for a moment before frowning. "Um...where's Kadrith?"

She blinked. "He's not with you?"

"You lost my brother?!"

I reached out and lay a hand on Tvashtar's arm, squeezing gently in a silent attempt to reassure him. "It's not like we won't find him. It's not that big of a store. Besides, I think Nightcrawler's with him, they'll be fine." I met his gaze as he looked at me and smiled. "I think your brother can take care of himself."

He frowned for a moment, then nodded. "You're right."

"Wow. Bring out the parade," Telca chuckled, grinning at the glare I sent her. "What? It's rare that you're ever right. Even less that someone admits it."

I growled and threw Tvashtar's empty slushie cup at her, grumbling when she merely ducked. "Like you're any better. Banshee." I smirked at the glare she sent me in return and headed down the frozen food isle, dimly aware that a chuckling Tvashtar was right behind me.

::Elfy?::

Hai Korin? I glanced at the dragon that was still perched on the top of Tvashtar's head. What's up?

::Um....where's Akhor?::

I froze, hearing Tvashtar's yelp as he frantically tried to avoid running me over with the cart. But I was too busy looking around for the now missing dragon to worry about a trivial thing like that. "Akhor? Dammit all to hell, when I get my hands on that little bastard I'm gonna tie his tail to the cart!"

"Lost a dragon again?" Telca asked as she joined us, her cart parallel to Tvashtar's. "Where'd he go this time?"

"I have no idea! Dammit, Korin, go find him."

::You sure that's such a good idea?:: Kalamadea murmured as his younger draconic brother took flight and soared towards the high ceiling of the store. ::You know he'll cause no end of trouble.::

"At this point in time I don't really care what he does as long as he finds Akhor," I sighed, morosely watching as Telca grabbed six Delissio pizzas and tossed them into her cart. "Well, I suppose there's not much else I can do, is there?"

"Not unless you want to rampage through the store," the other sorceress told me distractedly as she added three cartons of ice cream into the cart and a box of Popsicles. "Sides, like ya said, it isn't that big of a store. And it's not like they don't know where to find you if they get lost."

I sighed and leaned against a silent Tvashtar, relaxing when he shifted his stance to be able to support me with little effort. "Alright. Let's shop."

"Good. And don't you forget to get the fixings for those chocolate chip cookies of yours."

"I wasn't aware you wanted me to bake something," I frowned, glancing at Telca curiously.

"You still owe me a batch from when your three terrors destroyed the one I baked."

"Oh. That. Hai, hai, I remember," I sighed, pushing away from Tvashtar and blinking when he reached out to grab my arm, keeping me close. His gaze was unreadable when I twisted to look at him, and I gently reached out and poked him in the ribs. "What's the matter?"

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, tail twitching slightly as he met and held my gaze for a moment before releasing me. ".....can I get something?"

I think Telca summed up what I was thinking rather nicely : "That bitch Avatar should be glad she's dead. At this point even I want to smack her around." She sighed and looked at my Guardian. "Yes, for Goddess' sake, if you want something, just take it. We're buying for the whole Palace, that includes you!"

He winced, ears flattening against his skull. "Right. Sorr--"

I cut him off by lying a hand on his right arm, shaking my head slightly. "Don't apologize when you haven't done anything wrong. Grab whatever you want, okay? I'm gonna follow Telca down this isle." Not waiting for a response, I stepped around him and grabbed the handle for the cart, quickly heading after a grumbling Telca. "What?"

"Are they supposed to be helping us or are we supposed to be helping them?" she asked, glancing back at Tvashtar before meeting my gaze.

"I don't know. L-Sama said that we were their salvation just as they were ours. Maybe we're supposed to be gathering good karma points."

"Maybe," she agreed, coming to a stop and folding her arms on the handle of the cart, staring into the cart at a frozen pizza. "Still.... I don't know. Were all the other Avatars real psychos... or did their new Powers make them that way?"

I shrugged. "Don't know. But if we take our Guardian's reactions into consideration, I think we're rather unique Avatars. They seemed to be expecting us to be total tyrants or something...."

"We didn't know any better. Or... at least... I didn't." Telca and I blinked and turned to look at a solemn Tvashtar as he walked over to us and set a 2 litre of smarties ice cream into the cart. At my look of horror - I really hadn't wanted him to overhear that conversation - he gave me a small smile and twitched an ear. "I have good hearing. Here, let me take the cart."

I shook my head and tightened my hold until my knuckles were white. "Tell us.... were the others.... Did their new Powers make them that way?" I felt Kalamadea lightly nuzzle my cheek, trying to calm me as a wary fear started to work it's cold way up to my heart. Gods, if I change into that....

"If they did, then it happened the moment they became Avatars, because I usually managed to track them down a day or two after they had melded with the Power," Tvashtar said, looking at us curiously when we both heaved identical sighs of relief. "Is that what you were afraid of? That the Powers would turn you into.... into what the other Chaos Avatar was?"

"It crossed our minds," Telca admitted sheepishly. "It just kinda snapped into focus a lot more since you and your brother dropped in on us. I mean, I know that Kadrith wasn't.... didn't get the short end of the stick like you did, but...." She trailed off and shrugged, making a vague gesture in the air, as if the rest of the sentence had evaded her.

Tvashtar looked back and forth between the two of us for a moment before smiling and gently bumping me aside so he could get a grip on the handle. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. Kadrith can sense the Gaia Power, just as I can sense the Chaos. Unlike the other Avatars we've met, you two are the only ones who have managed to become one with those Powers so.... harmoniously. And here I was thinking that Gaia and L-Sama had made a big mistake."

"Hey!"

"No! No, not like that," he chuckled, at ease for the first time despite the fact that both Telca and I were glaring at him. "I thought they had pulled a joke on us by telling us that you were Avatars. All the others were.... not corrupted by the Power.... more like drugged by it. You two, your lives haven't changed at all, have they?"

"Why would they?" Telca frowned. "So we're Avatars. Big deal."

"That's exactly it, isn't it?" I mused, looking at Tvashtar. "The others let it go to their heads. Thought that since they were Avatars that they were better than everyone else."

"Bah. So we've got new Powers, I'm not about to go completely loony and try to take over the world. Granted, now that I think of it, that 'Lady Telca' had a nice ring to it."

I snorted. "Lady Loud more like it," I teased, dancing out of range of her smack and ducking behind Tvashtar. "Besides, where's the fun in taking over the world. Think of all the work!"

"Keeping all the lowly peons in line would be ever so draining," Telca grinned. "And they'd probably expect us to make a government and all that crud."

"Just the politics alone would kill us," I chuckled. Seeing Tvashtar's wary look only made me laugh harder. "Hun, chill. We're joking." I patted his hand reassuringly and headed down the isle. "C'mon already. Daylight's wasting and I want to get home in time for that Sci-Fi Movie Marathon on TV!"

"With the way you drive it'll be a miracle if you get home at all," Telca snickered.

"I heard that!"

BAMF! "Mein Gott!! Hide me! Hide me!"

I blinked and looked back over my shoulder at Nightcrawler as he threw himself at Telca, shoving a package of gourmet hamburgers into her hands before he dived into the cart Tvashtar was pushing, trying to hide under the frozen pizzas. I don't want to know, do I?

::Probably not,:: Kalamadea yawned from where he was curled around the back of my neck, his head comfortably pillowed in my hair as he half-dozed. ::Don't forget the spiral fries.::

Rolling my eyes, I opened another freezer door and grabbed two Value Sized bag of curly fries, pausing as a loud roar followed by Nightcrawler's muffled whimper caught my attention. Exchanging quick glances with Telca told me that she didn't know what was going on either, so I kicked the door closed and set both frozen bags right on top of the teen huddled in the cart, smirking when he yelped and leapt into sight.

"Gah! That's cold!" He glared at me a moment, then nervously glanced down the isle. "I think I'll go find Beast and Kadrith!" BAMF!

Telca coughed and waved brimstone smoke out of the air in front of her. "Methinks he somehow just dumped a problem on us."

"Forget 'dump'! He led one right to us!" Tvashtar growled as he pointed down the isle.

"What fine hell awaits me now?" I mused as I turned to follow my Guardian's pointing finger, paling when I saw what was coming towards us. Ever see those 'Predator' movies? Well 'Predator 2' was making a guest appearance in our isle. And my, oh my, he looked ticked. "Sweet Holy Mother of the Gods.... RUN!"

"What? Why? ACK!" Telca's questions got cut off as I forcibly shoved her down the isle, her screech of anger alerting me to the fact that I had put too much strength behind that push and had accidentally thrown her head first into the cart.

I meanwhile was busy trying to get Tvashtar to realize that if he actually tried to fight the alien that I would be short one Guardian. I was fairly sure that I was getting through to him until he shouldered me aside and held his right hand out to his side, black and gold fire swirling at his fingertips for a moment before solidifying into his double bladed weapon. "Baka!! Don't ever pull a weapon on one these guys!"

He blinked and looked at me, not paying attention to the fact that I was pulling him backwards while the Pred kept stalking towards us. "Why not?"

I hissed. "Because his kind hunts other beings for challenges and then takes their skulls as a trophy! He's a living breathing Hunter!"

"I've faced worse."

That didn't help my current mindset one damned bit. Hence the fact that I was now completely ignoring the Pred and glaring at Tvashtar. "Baka! BAKA!!! BAAAAKKKAAAAA!!!!"

Now that I had half-deafened and considerably cowered my Guardian - incidentally also making him send his weapon back to wherever it had come from - I bodily turned him around, made him grab the cart and shoved him down the isle. "Kalamadea! Relay to the Pred!"

::What?!::

Do. It. I spun around on my heel and glared at the Pred as he came to a stop directly in front of me. A part of my mind yelped at the fact that here I was, a 5 foot 6 Elf, facing off against a three meter tall alien built like a mack truck. Luckily I hardly ever listened to that part of my mind.

Kalamadea shifted over my shoulders, talons lightly pricking my skin. ::It's done.::

I smirked and rose my gaze to glare at the Pred. Go. Away.

I think my dragon nearly choked in shock as I turned and casually walked away. ::That's it?!::

Well what did you want me to do? I'm not in the mood to get into an all out battle with him in the middle of the frozen food isle. Besides.... I paused and chuckled. It'd be too easy.

And thus I learned that Kalamadea hadn't yet stopped relaying my thoughts to the Pred. Hence the fact that the Hunter had grabbed my shoulder and bodily spun me around to glare down at me in undisguised insulted rage.

I glared at my dragon. "No more chocolate bars for you for a month."

::Awww.....::

The sound of metal scraping against metal made me blink for a moment before I yelped and ducked the wrist blades that came at my head. Can't you take a joke?! I danced aside, wondering how something that big could be so damned fast. Okay, I had seen and memorized the movies, I knew what the Pred was capable of, what weapons he had, and since I didn't feel like pulling Arnold-whateverthehellhislastnameis out of a portal, I had to improvise.

I hopped backwards a little bit and smirked as the Hunter leapt right at me. "Ah, males. So strong, yet so dumb." Just as he was seconds away from slamming into me, I reached out and opened one of the Plexiglas freezer doors, closing my eyes in a grimace as the door shook violently.

I let a few moments pass before I cracked an eye open cautiously, then smirked and looked at the Pred that was now smooshed against the door like a proverbial bug on a windshield. "No wonder Danny Glover beat you. Yeesh." I closed the door, eyeing the Pred that was still seemingly attached to it and shrugged as I headed after Tvashtar and Telca, whistling happily.

Kalamadea crawled out of my hair and perched on the top of my head, looking back at the Pred. ::Elfy, you're insane.::

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Lashana!! Where do you get off throwing me into a cart?!" Telca yelled when she saw me, stalking forward to glare at me face to face. I was better off with the Pred....

"Lady Telca, please. You're making a scene," Tvashtar whispered as he tried to push Telca away from me, his right hand tightening on his weapon when she turned her glare onto him. He'll never learn.

"A scene? A scene?!"

Oy.... "Telca! Come off it already! The Pred was after Nightcrawler, so technically, you owe me!" I was never going to learn either.

"What?! I owe you nothing!"

::This isn't going to get us away from the Predator that's peeling himself off the glass!:: Kalamadea broadcasted to the three of us.

Telca blinked. "Peeling himself off the what?" She stepped around me and looked down the isle, a smirk spreading over her lips before she pointed at the alien and started laughing. "Mr. Big Bad Hunter of the universe got beaten by a door!!"

So now Tvashtar was left with an insanely cackling Avatar, me as I banged my head against a shelf in mindless exasperation, a dragon that had relocated itself to his head, and a rather annoyed Predator that was once again coming after us.

I thought he summed things up rather nicely :

"I need a vacation."

"You an me both pal," I sighed, leaning against the shelf for a moment longer. Kalamadea, are you still relaying?

::Um....no?:: He looked at me sheepishly, saw the glare I was sending him, then sighed and nodded.

Why you little.... I pushed myself away from the shelf and started to ready a fireball, blinking when a green torpedo shot into view, circling the Pred a few dozen times before flying over to hover in front of me.

::Elfy! Elfy! Guess what I found! There's this bin and it's filled with different candies and they're soooo good and there's soooo many good ones andyoujusthavetocomeseethis!!!::

Telca blinked, having heard the hyper dialogue. Hell, even the Pred seemed to have heard it, because he had stopped stalking towards us and was now eyeing the dragon warily. "Er....how many of those did he eat, exactly?" she whispered to me, looking at the dragon like looks at a screaming child they don't want to go near.

"Too many," I muttered as I watched Korin do multiple ariel summersaults around me, still telepathically babbling out how good all those candies were. Oh Gods I have a headache.... "Korin.... Korin! KORIN!!" I growled and watched him a moment longer before literally snatching him out of the air. "How many did you eat?!"

::IdunnomaybethirtyorfiftybuttheyweresogoodcanigohavesomemorehuhcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI??::

I blinked, then turned around and thrust the wriggling dragon at Tvashtar. "Take him."

::Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?::

My Guardian shook his head and backed away from the hyper littling. "Me?! Why me?!"

::Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?::

I think Telca saw the signs first. "Oh shit. Take the dragon! Take the dragon!" She ran over and snatched Korin out of my hands, shoving him into Tvashtar's arms before she grabbed my arm and shoved me back into the frozen food isle. "Now run!"

"But we can't just leave her with the Pred--"

And thus he got to see one of my rants in action.

"THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A RELAXING DAY!!!!! But noooOOOooo. I can't even have one day without a headache, or being attacked, or having one of my dragons go insane. ONE DAY!! Why is that so hard!?! WHY?! It's not too much to ask! Just one day of peace! It's not that FRAKKIN' hard!! And you!" I glared at the Pred, dimly aware that an aura was swirling around me as I turned to look at him, a part of my mind laughing at the fact that he was actually backing away from me. "What the HELL is your problem?! What part of GO AWAY don't you understand?! Gods damn it don't you glare at me like that!!"

So there I was, in the middle of the frozen food isle, my Guardian and best-friend staring at me in shock while I engaged myself in a silent battle of wills with a three meter tall killer alien while a hyper Korin did whirly birds in the air above us.

::Can I go have more candy, Elfy? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?::

I have no idea what look passed over my face, but it made the Pred's eyes widen in horror.

Tvashtar whimpered. "We're all gonna die."

"Okaaaay! Time to go!" Telca said cheerfully as she grabbed my shoulders and guided me away from the Pred. "We have to finish shopping! Remember, Elfy? Shopping?"

I twitched.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Here!" She grabbed a bag of Oreos off a display shelf and shoved it at me. "Have a cookie!"

"I don't want a frakkin' cookie," I snarled.

"Too bad! Take the cookies!"

"I don't want a cookie!"

"And I said too bad! TAKE THE COOKIE!"

::It never ends,:: Kalamadea groaned as Telca and I vanished into a dustcloud fight in the middle of the store. He sighed and looked over at the Pred. ::You can't speak English....but you understand us, right?:: When the huge alien nodded, he smirked. ::Good. Now run away before--::

"I DON'T WANT A COOKIE!!! FIREBALL!!!"

KABLAM!!

And thus the frozen food isle wasn't all that 'frozen' anymore.

"Uh....clean up in Isle 2. Clean up in Isle 2."

Telca and I paused at the sound of the PA system and blinked, momentarily forgetting about our little fight as we both turned to look down the isle at the soot covered Pred and the many items of now-cooked food behind him.

"Uh...." I coughed sheepishly. "....oops?"

"I can't take you anywhere," Telca grumbled as she stood and pulled me to my feet.

Kalamadea chuckled and looked at the toasty Pred. ::I tried to warn you.::

Korin looked from the Pred, to Telca, then to me, and flew over to us again. ::Can I go have more candy, Elfy? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?::

I did the only thing I could think of. "Go ask Zelgadis!"

::Can I? Can-- Oh.... Okay!::

"Poor bastard will never know what hit him," Telca chuckled as we watched the green dragon head back down the isle.

I shuddered and reached into a portal to grab a bottle of Tylenol, my hands shaking as I tried to pry the child-proof cap off before simply letting the Chaos turn my nails into talons and ripping the damned cap off.

"You're gonna od on Tylenol," Telca commented as I swallowed a good twelve pills.

"I won't have a headache if I do, now will I?" I grumbled as I threw the empty bottle into the still open portal then headed for the next isle. "C'mon already."

Kalamadea shook his head and hopped down to lie on a frozen pizza. ::Mood swing central around here.::

Tvashtar exchanged glances with Telca, sighed, and reluctantly followed me. "Uh... Lady Telca? What about the Hunter?"

"What about him?" she asked curiously, glancing back at the alien.

My Guardian leaned closer to her and pitched his voice in a low whisper. "Don't you think we should try to find out why he came after Nightcrawler in the first place?"

"Why bother? He's male, so he's automatically wrong."

"What?! Hey! I resent the implications of that!!"

"Cope," she started to follow me, then paused and glared at the Pred. "And don't you snarl at me, ugly. I don't know where you're from, but for Goddess' sake, go back!"

I leaned out of the next isle and sighed. "Telca, stop tormenting the big psychotic Hunter, okay? He's not prepared for what you can do to him."

"Hmpft. Ruin all my fun."

"I won't bake those cookies if you keep tormenting him."

"What?! That's not fair!"

Tvashtar, obviously catching on, smirked. "Cope."

"Why you little--"

Come here Kalamadea. It's not safe there right now. I sent, chuckling as Tvashtar manoeuvred the cart to is was always between him and the now raging Telca. My dragon landed on my right shoulder moments later, his tail automatically curling around my neck as he joined me in watching my Guardian try to keep out of Telca's reach. "Yeesh. C'mon Kalamadea, maybe we'll be finished shopping by the time they sort things out."

"M'lady! You can't just leave me here!" Tvashtar wailed as I headed down the next isle. "Lashana! Lashana!!!"

"I can't heeeaaaaar you!" I chuckled, hearing Kalamadea snicker in my ear as I grabbed a Gatorade drink off the shelf and opened it, taking a nice long drink. "Ahhh, that's better.... Ack!" The last was due to the fact that a cart had just slammed into my back, making me yelp in shock as my feet were knocked out from under me, leaving me to fall right into the basket.

"Oh. Hello, Lashana. Didn't see you there," Tvashtar smirked as he looked down at me, obviously unfazed by the glare I was currently sending him. "Isn't that a little uncomfortable? Lying on the frozen fries like that?"

"Just shut up and help me out," I growled, holding out my arms and letting him lift me from the basket. At one time it would have surprised me, having someone lift me up as if I weighed nothing at all. But after living around a bunch of super powered and disgustingly strong males for a while, I was pretty blaze about all these little technicalities now. "What'd you do to Telca?"

"Um.... she was right behind me...." My Guardian turned and looked down the isle, ears twitching when he saw the distinct lack of Telca. "Well.... at least it's quiet."

"I heard that!"

I rolled my eyes and pitched my bottle of Gatorade over the shelf into the next isle, snickering at the loud yelp of pain that announced that I had hit my intended target. "Hehe. C'mon. Let's shop."

~*~

I think those words would haunt me for the rest of my life. It could've been that being around a group of males for too long had muddled my brain, or that Telca's bouts of irrational insanity were contagious, but for some reason, I had truly believed that the rest of the day was going to be normal.

How horribly wrong I was.

Tvashtar and I regrouped with Telca nearly an hour later, both our carts were filled to the brim and over with food and various other things. I didn't want to know why Telca thought we needed another frying pan, a razor and a bucket and I made it plenty clear that I would withhold any and all future slushies if Tvashtar even thought of asking her about it.

We found Kadrith and Beast back in the fresh vegetable and fruit section, and we all stared at the contents of the cart that Kadrith was pushing around for Beast since the Mutant was still wheeling the unconscious Zelgadis around.

"Wha.... what is this?" Telca frowned, picking up a random item and peering at it. "Tofu? Ew. Beast, are you trying to kill us or something?!"

"Not at all my dear! I've merely taken a concern in your health and well-being. With these new powers of yours, you and Lashana are burning up large amounts of energy every time you transform," he told us, obviously ignoring the looks of 'so what?' from us. "Eating healthier foods will help your systems recover and adapt to such high strains on your metabolisms."

I exchanged glances with Tvashtar. "Is tofu even considered a food?"

"Gods I hope not."

"We do so eat healthy! Right Lashana?"

I blinked and looked at Telca, seeing her frantically motion for me to agree with her. "Uh... yes."

"See? Look, fries are just cut up potatoes, and potatoes are a vegetable, so fries are a vegetable. And ketchup is made from tomatoes, and tomatoes are a fruit, so ketchup is a fruit!"

"It frightens me to no end that she's actually making sense," Tvashtar whispered to me, eyeing Telca warily.

Beast gave us an exasperated look. "Telca. We both know that those rationalizations are a farce."

"Many things are a farce. But trying to get me to eat something like this," she held up the tofu. "Is beyond a farce. It's akin to torture!"

"Well.... perhaps it is a bit much to start off with. Here, perhaps we can agree on a mutual option."

While Beast looked into the cart and rifled through various items, I grabbed Kadrith and hauled him and Tvashtar into the bakery. "You okay?"

"Considering that I've been stuck with a health freak for an hour.... I guess I'm pretty good. Granted I could have lived without a full explanation of how yogurt was made..." The Guardian grimaced and shivered. "It was disgusting."

"I don't want to know," I stated, pausing to grab a couple baguettes and adding them to the cart.

Tvashtar eyed the growing pile that was the cart, then looked at me. "Lashana, if you add anything else either the wheels are going to get crushed flat or the mountain of food is going to landslide onto the floor!"

"Naw. It won't do that," I chuckled, blinking when a soft snore sounded in my left ear. Rolling my eyes, I reached up and poked Kalamadea with a finger. "Oy. Wake up."

::Wha?:: the dragon rose his head and blinked at us blearily. ::What's goin' on?::

"This is not the time or the place for you to fall asleep."

"Especially not with the people that are shopping here," Kadrith muttered. "I think I saw six Klingons, a Romulan and one of those Aliens at the Meat Counter. And I don't even want to know what was in the Junk Food isle. It looked like a giant slug."

Tvashtar and I exchanged wary looks and winced.

"It was eating the bags whole," Kadrith continued. He apparently hadn't seen our expressions yet. "Wrappings and all. It was so disgusting... Er. Are you two alright. You don't look very well."

"We're fine," I said, my voice a few octaves too high. "Just fine. Oh Kalamadea! Wake up. I need you to do a bit of scouting for me."

::What?:: He still sounded half asleep. ::Now?::

"Oh, yes. Now." I lifted him off my shoulders and cradled him in my arms. "I'll buy you a cooked chicken for supper if you do."

::Really?!:: he grinned, eyes gleaming happily. ::Deal!!:: With that, he hopped up onto the top of my head and vaulted into the air, hurriedly gaining altitude until he was skimming the ceiling.

"What's going on?" Kadrith frowned, eyeing Tvashtar and I suspiciously.

Tvashtar caved first. "Um... that 'slug' thing that you saw. That's a creature called 'Jabba the Hutt'. We....er... kinda had a little ....altercation with him at the Mall's Food Court."

"He hurt Kalamadea!" I growled lowly, fisting my right hand. "He got what he deserved! Actually he got off easy too, I was more concerned about Healing Kalamadea. That's the only reason I didn't Dragon Slave him into kingdom come!"

Kadrith eyed me curiously. "What happened?"

"Korin..."

"Say no more," Kadrith chuckled, raising a hand to silence his brother. "That pretty much explains everything." He'd only been with us three days and already, Korin's reputation as a shit-disturber was well known to him.

I sighed and raked my nails through my hair, sighing heavily as I kept partial mental 'tabs' on Kalamadea, making sure that he wasn't going to get himself into any amounts of trouble that I couldn't get him out of. I caught the tail end of Telca and Beast's conversation as they rejoined us and grimaced. "I am not having lentil and brussel sprout soup! That's disgusting."

"I concur," Telca shuddered. "It's just wrong."

"Ladies, you are going to be the death of me," Beast sighed in exasperation.

"And you're going to be the death of our ability to taste," I muttered sourly before looking at my fellow sorceress. "Well? We all done?"

"Pretty much. You did remember to get the cookie fixings....right?"

I blanched. I knew I forgot something!!

"You forgot! How could you forget?!" She turned and rounded on Tvashtar. "And you didn't remind her?!"

"Uh... sorry?"

"Telca stop tormenting my Guardian. Torment your own."

"Hey!"

I ignored Kadrith's indignant outburst in lieu of ducking the playful smack that Tvashtar sent my way, snickering as I danced out of range. "It's not like it's the end of the world Telca. It won't take me long to get the things I need."

"Hmpft. This time, we're all going with you. The way your memory's been going you'd probably end up getting lost or something like that," Telca said, rolling her eyes as she added that last part.

I merely glared at her and debated beating her with a baguette. I really don't know what look I had on my face, but apparently it was cause for concern, because mere breaths after Beast looked at me, he manoeuvred the cart that Zelgadis was in so that it was between us, making sure that I couldn't easily reach him.

"No homicides in the store. C'mon, the sooner we finish the sooner we can leave. Maybe you'll be able to monster-truck a village of lawn gnomes on the way home," Tvashtar murmured as he slipped an arm around my shoulders and headed back to the baking isle, steering the cart one-handed. Seeing my unimpressed look at his comment, he chuckled and lightly snapped the spade of his tail against the backs of my knees. "I'll cook supper for you then. Whatever you want."

"Anything?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him curiously.

"Anything."

"Lasagna with garlic bread? But for tomorrow's lunch?"

He looked at me in delighted surprise. "You like Italian foods?"

I grinned. "My Da passed on the great love of pasta to me. I just don't usually go around cooking it anymore because then I'd have to fight the others for my own meal. But since they're not here....."

His arm tightened around me slightly. "Well, you've got yourself a deal. But you have to help me keep Kadrith from stealing portions when I'm not looking."

"No prob," I smirked, forcing him to stop walking when I suddenly froze, looking back at Beast as he tried to get away from a store employee. "What the hell? Hey!! You let him go this instant!"

"What are you people doing to Beast?!" Telca yelled when my own cry made her turn to look at his new development. The employee that had previously been attached to Beast's arm hurriedly released him and backed away as both Telca and I advanced on him.

"I'm so sorry ladies. We didn't know one of our sale items had escaped from the back freezer. Just let us return it to the back room and--"

"Touch one hair on him and I will personally make you regret ever being born!" Telca growled lowly, flecks of silver appearing in her now amber gaze as she moved so that she was standing between Beast and the employee. "And what are you babbling about?"

That's when it hit me. Or rather, that's when Kadrith accidentally bumped me, sending me slamming onto the Plexiglas meat display case. It was when I saw something that looked like a cross between a rat, a duck and a gecko laying out in front of me with a tag that said 'fifteen dollars a pound' that I realised what the employee was talking about. "Oh. Dear. Gods."

"What?" Tvashtar frowned as I paled and backed away from the display case, raising my hand to cover my mouth and nose. "Lashana?"

"They think he's a...." Unable to get the words out, I made a weak strangling sound and waved my hand at the Meat Department, seeing everyone's gaze's follow mine for a moment before a unified yelp sounded through the store.

Beast must have gone pure white under his layer of bright blue fur. "Oh my stars and garters....."

"He is NOT a meat product!" Telca yelled, right into the face of the employee.

"S-s-sorry Ma'am! B-b-but our records say o-other wise!" he yelped, backing away from the sorceress that was now glaring at him murderously.

Kadrith and Tvashtar exchanged curious glances before my Guardian shoved his brother towards a growling Telca. "Lady Telca?" When she glanced at him, Kadrith gulped audibly, his tail twitching nervously. "Since this obviously isn't going to be settled...er...neatly... why don't we just... Well why don't we just buy him back?"

The employee looked very pleased with this. "Would you like him in portions or 'as is'?"

Luckily both Tvashtar and Kadrith were close enough to be able to stop Telca before she could reach the employees throat, granted her pinkie fingernail did manage to take a layer of skin off the employees nose.

"As is. Just round off a price," I growled, glaring at him angrily. "And hurry, else I may just have them let her go." I gestured to Telca as I said this, and smirked when the employee looked at her just as she screamed out her true opinion of him, using many inventive and colourful terms that I didn't think had come into existence until this very moment.

By the time we were able to leave the Meat Department, not only had Kadrith and Tvashtar left toe-talon gouges in the floor from trying to hold Telca back, but we had managed to frighten three employees into unconsciousness. Beast, however, was rather insulted at the neon green store sticker that was now glued to his chest.

"Oh, don't worry Blue," Telca soothed as she leaned against the blue furred mutant. "I think you're worth more than just seventy-nine dollars. Here now, take a deep breath. This is going to hurt."

I didn't even turn around. I didn't have to. The sound of a sticker being ripped off of someone's furred chest was more than enough to inform me as to what happened. As was the muffled roar/whimper that came along with it. I sighed as we walked by the fish department, my line of sight partially blocked by my hand as I massaged my aching temples. It was only when I realised that the others weren't behind me that I paused and looked back at them.

And that's when I realised that we had found Akhor.

I followed the groups gaze to the fish counter, and the huge lobster tank that was situated on the counter. There, swimming amongst the lobsters with the remains of a lobster tail lodged in his fangs, was Akhor. The moment he saw me, he gave me a fanged grin and spat out the tail in his mouth before lunging at another lobster that was nearly half his own size.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I settled for yelling.

"Khordeshkhistriakhor!!!!"

::Ooooh. She used his full name!:: Kalamadea chuckled as he landed on Tvashtar's right shoulder, wings neatly folding against his back. ::He's in trouble now! Hehe.::

I ignored the oldest of the trio in lieu or trying to get the youngest out of the lobster tank. "Khordeshkhistriakhor, get out of there this instant!! Those things are twenty dollars a pound!!"

Tvashtar gulped and glanced at Kalamadea. "Um... did you happen to find Jabba?"

The blue dragon turned his attention from where I was plunging my arm into the tank to retrieve Akhor and blinked at my Guardian. ::Oh. The slug? Yeah, he's right behind you, why?::

I froze, my arm still in the lobster tank. Slowly, I turned and looked past the group, blinking at Jabba as he slithered/oozed/whatever into view, his gaze raking across the things on display in the department before landing on me. "Uh..." I smiled nervously and wiggled the fingers of my free hand at him. "Hi?"

"RUN!"

Not bothering to even think about ignoring Tvashtar's yell, I closed my right hand around Akhor's tail and bolted down an isle, dimly aware that the little insane group was right behind me as Jabba did a gurgling roar and tried to follow us.

"Bombs away!!"

But luckily the ten pound bag of salt that Telca threw at him slowed him down. Actually I'm pretty sure it did more than slow him down considering that he was now lying in the middle of the isle twitching violently.

"Clean up in isle four! Clean up in isle four!"

I snickered at the exasperated tone of whoever was manning the P.A. system today and skidded to a stop near the end of the isle, glancing back to make sure everyone had made it okay before turning my gaze to the dragon that was trying to get his tail free. "You," I said as I rose my arm so that he was dangling upside-down directly in front of my face, "are in a lot of trouble."

::But they were fresh!:: he protested, trying the puppy-dog look on me and then sighing in defeat when he realised it wasn't going to work this time. ::Sorry?::

"I'll think about it," I grumbled as I shifted my hold on him to cradle him in my arms.

"Well, at least you won't have to feed him tonight," Telca snickered. "He looks stuffed."

"I noticed, thank you."

"You're welcome! So, what do you need to get? For the cookies?"

"Um... I think we have almost everything except for shortening, flour, sugar, and chocolate chips," I murmured, wincing as Akhor dug his talons into my arm and climbed up onto my right shoulder.

"If I remember correctly, the baking isle is only two isles down," Beast announced, still ruefully rubbing at the partial bald spot on his chest where Telca had ripped that sticker off.

"And I think I saw the chocolate chips on sale," Kadrith added, earning grin from both Telca and I.

"Discount chocolate!!"

"Look what you've done," Tvashtar growled to his brother as Telca and I bolted down the isle.

"Oh like it's my fault they're a little insane?" Kadrith growled, starting to follow us and pausing when he saw Telca nearing the end of the isle, where numerous coffee bean dispensers were located. He obviously thought nothing of it when she held out her left hand on the way past them. At least he didn't until he realised that she had opened each and every single dispenser on the way by.

Did you know that the sound of twenty coffee dispensers dispensing onto the cheap linoleum floor sounds a lot like rain during a violent storm? It was really neat how the coffee beans cascaded onto the floor and proceeded to spread out until it looked like a flood of coffee had taken over the isle.

Unfortunately, Telca's little gag had one little setback.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

I rose my gaze from where I was standing next to Telca at the end of the isle, admiring the sheer volume of beans those dispensers could hold, and blinked at the source of the horrified scream. Well. At least Zelgadis is awake.

Oh yes. The caffeine addicted chimera was awake. And now he was kneeling amongst the beans and cradling some in his hands as he wept in sorrow. My, oh my, but he was strange.

"They didn't even have a chance to be percolated!!" Zel wailed as he threw himself face first onto the floor and tried to hug the beans to himself.

"There is something really wrong with that one," Telca whispered to me as Zel cupped beans in his hands, rose to his knees, held his hands up as if hold a sacrificial offering and started begging for the Gods Of All That Is Caffeinated to spare their meagre beany lives.

"I think that one needs medication," I whispered back to Telca, who hummed and nodded in agreement while the rest of our group busied themselves in laughing themselves sick.

Telca watched this little surprising entertainment factor for a few more moments, then grinned and struck a pose. "To the chocolate!!" she cried as she grabbed by arm and bolted for the baking isle, literally dragging me along behind her.

I wouldn't have minded so much if she hadn't dragged me through a group of beings that were a lot like giant porcupines.

"Let go!" I yelped, smacking her a few times until she released my arm, letting me lie there on the floor limply. That bloody well hurt...

"This is no time for a nap!" she growled as she hauled me to my feet, blinking in surprise moments later. "Where'd all those scratches come from?"

I glared and pointed at the group of people she had just dragged me through.

"Oh. Sorry."

I grumbled something inventive in her direction and brushed past her, carefully sidestepping one of those flatbeds with wheels that employees use to wheel large amounts of materials around as they restock shelves. It reminded me a lot of an oversized skateboard. Luckily, before either Telca or I came up with the notion of seeing if its manoeuvring capabilities were anything like those of a real skateboard, our attentions became once again diverted. Not that that was a rare thing to happen.

"Sweet hairy hell," Telca breathed as she followed my shocked gaze to what was standing at the far end of the isle. Remember that ship we had seen in the parking lot? Well, that MiB bug was making a guest appearance in our grocery store.

::Can we squish it?:: Ahkor whispered into my thoughts as he curled up so that my hair completely hid him from view.

"This outing is starting to rate a ten on the weird factor," I murmured as I watched the bug lean down and pick something off the bottom shelf. It took a moment for my addled mind to process what it was, and even less for me to realise that this situation was about to get worse. "That's the last bag of sugar!!"

"What?!" Telca cried. "We gotta stop him! I want those cookies!"

"Way ahead of you!" I cackled as I shoved Akhor onto a shelf, darted back to the end of the isle, grabbed the board on wheels and took a few steps back. I was dimly aware of Telca's answering cackle as I took a brief run forward, then threw myself onto the board, using a Diem Wind spell to boost the demented skateboards speed as I shot down the isle. "MINE!!" I yelled as I careened between the bugs legs, reaching out to snatch the bag of sugar from it's claws on the way by. "BWAHAHAHAHA--AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"

CRASH!!!

"Lashana!!" Telca bolted past the still started bug and dug through the hundreds of Kleenex boxes that I had toppled from their perfected display when I had slammed into the base of the pile, throwing boxes every which way until she managed to uncover my face. "Lashana!" She shoved more boxes aside and looked at me with deadly seriousness. "Did you get the sugar?"

I snarled and whapped her with a Kleenex box.

And thus that explains why Tvashtar and Kadrith found us pitching Kleenex boxes at one another while a cockroach the size of a bus stood there gaping at us in disbelief. I suppose that also explains why they turned around and headed down a completely different isle.

However, that's also when the bug snapped himself out of his stunned state and roared, drowning out Telca and I as we screamed at each other. It's also why we teamed up and bombarded it with the Kleenex boxes until it was forced to retreat.

Rapid mood swing not withstanding, Telca and I exchanged high-fives, then darted back into the baking isle, quickly securing the needed flour and shortening before tracking down our two Guardians.

"Are you two finished trying to kill each other with Kleenex boxes now?" Kadrith asked when he saw us approaching.

I glanced at Telca. "Killing each other with Kleenex boxes? Whatever are you talking about?"

"We saw you..." Tvashtar saw the demented look in Telca's eyes and sighed. "Nevermind."

::Good choice,:: Kalamadea chuckled.

My Guardian shot the dragon a disgusted look, then turned back to look at Telca and I "Did you find what you needed?"

"Yup!" I said cheerfully, setting the flour and sugar into the half-empty cart that Kadrith was pushing, strategically taking a moment to shove the tofu through the bars of the cart and kicking it under a shelf. "If a big giant bug comes after this bag of sugar... um... defend it with your lives."

Kadrith exchanged wary glances with his brother. "Uh... and the likelihood of that happening is...?"

"Very high," Telca said distractedly as she stared at some of the jars and cans on the shelves. We hade ventured into the very unappetizing section of the store, and I shivered at the sight of what could have once been a snake floating in a jar of what could have been grape jelly. Telca however, let her curiosity get the better of her and reached out to grab a jar. "What the hell is this? What exactly is a T'sulft and where does one find it's meborleglz?"

"I don't think we want to know," I grimaced as I edged away from a jar of... well I don't know what it was but it was actually eyeing me in return. I figured that joining Telca at the moment was a good idea, so I reached out and grabbed an identical jar of Meborleglz of T'sulft, studying it curiously.

And that's when.... something female wandered over to us, pausing to look from Telca and I to Kadrith and and Tvashtar, then to the jar Telca was holding.

"Now dearies, I can't imagine such young, healthy looking females would need that but it's nice to see determined young people these days," she smiled at us (at least I think it was a smile. Does something that looks like a mutated celery crossbred with a cabbage smile?) and nodded to the jars we were holding. "Just give it time and it will out sort itself out. But if you're getting really impatient then just take a slice of that with a drink of Yineta nectar and before you know it you'll be sprouting. Ah motherhood is such a joy."

Kalamadea squeaked. ::Oh. My. Gods.::

Telca and I held our breaths as she wandered away, our eyes wide in shock. Slowly, I turned my head to exchange horrified looks with Telca, then copied her example and calmly set the jar back onto the shelf before we both turned and violently scraped our hands against the sides of the carts, not caring that various sharp edges were slicing into our hands as we did so. Then we wiped our hands clean on the still semi-catatonic Tvashtar and Kadrith, shuddered in complete and total revulsion, and headed out of the isle.

"Wh...What else do we need?" Telca shuddered, taking any and every opportunity to scrape her hands against something as we headed across the entrances of all the isles.

"Just the chocolate chips. Then we can leave and never speak of this again."

::Good plan,:: Kalamadea agreed as he flew over to me and landed on my right shoulder.

"Good. Very good...." Telca trailed off from her unknowing agreement with Kalamadea and paused in mid-step, reaching out to stop me as well.

"What?" I frowned, looking at the shocked expression on her face for a moment before following her gaze to the display of chocolate chips that were on sale. The mob that was savagely attacking the display reminded me of a shark feeding frenzy. Bags flew everywhere, some torn open, so it was now literally raining chocolate. I grinned and tilted my head back, letting a few chips fall into my open mouth. "Mmm, chocolate fudge."

"I always knew this day would come," Telca whispered as she clasped her hands together in front of herself, an alarmingly happy look in her eyes. "It's raining chocolate!!!"

::Well, at least we know where Akhor's gonna end up,:: Kalamadea smirked as he relocated himself to the top of my head so that he'd have a better vantage point.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the mob. "How the hell are we going to get an undamaged bag anyway?" When I didn't get an answer, I turned to look at Telca, blinking at the empty space where she had been a moment before....

Until a psychotic laugh drew my attention to the sorceress that was now a part of the mob.

Kalamadea groaned. ::We can't bring her anywhere.::

"Oh for the flamin' love of...." I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. I need a vacation. After a few more seconds of wishing that I was somewhere else, I straightened, squared my shoulders and ran into the fray. It was actually rather easy to get to the shelf since all I had to do was use various people's heads as demented stepping stones, granted I don't think that Sailor Mars liked having my boot in her face, but at the moment I didn't much care.

So now that I was precariously perched on the top of the shelf, kneeling there and gripping the sides so tightly that my knuckles were turning white, I took a moment to seriously reconsider this plan of mine. Luckily the lure of nearby bags of chocolate overrode the sudden urge to panic, and I leaned over to snatch three unopened bags right out from under someone's hands. As luck would have it, those hands belonged to Telca, and now Telca had a death grip on my wrist and was trying to yank me off the shelf.

::Don't fall off! Don't fall off!:: Kalamadea shrieked into my mind, as he scrambled from my head back to my shoulder, digging all four sets of talons into my shirt as he clung to me.

"Telca!!" I snarled, shifting my grip on the shelf as I heaved her onto the top of it with me. "Dammit let go! You're drawing blood!"

She blinked, then quickly released me. "Sorry! I didn't know it was you!"

"Y'uh huh. Sure," I muttered, looking at the nail marks she had left in my skin before relocating the bags of chocolate onto my lap.

::Mommy!::

The panicked cry yanked my attention down into the mob, and I paled when I saw Akhor huddled on one of the shelves below us, looking lost and forlorn as he stared at the mob that was starting to clean out the shelf he was on.

::See? Told ya.:: Kalamadea smirked, yelping when I turned around, hooked the heels of my boots into the side of the shelf and fell backwards so that I was hanging over the opposite side of the shelf staring the mob right in the face.

"Back the hell off!!" My snarl was accompanied by my right fist as I punched something what looked like the Beast from 'Beauty and the Beast' away from the shelves, smirking when he stumbled backwards and tripped, sending the entire mob crashing to the floor. "Akhor!"

The second I felt the white dragon sink his talons into my back, I reached up to grab the shelf's edge and Telca's outstretched hand, grunting as I pulled myself up into a more natural and upright position. "Ug... walls... moving..." I shook my head slightly, then looked at the hyperventilating Kalamadea that was clinging to my shoulder so hard that he was drawing blood. "That hurts."

::Mommy!:: Akhor whimpered and crawled around until he could burrow into my arms, climbing up my shirt until he could press his chest over my heart, his head firmly nestled under my chin.

"I think we should take this as a sign that it's time to leave," Telca mused, looking at me in amusement.

"For once, I agree with you completely. Now how do we get off of this--ACK!" The last was due to the fact that I had just turned around and come face to face with the very large cockroach that I had stolen the sugar from. And he didn't look to damn pleased to see me again either. Well... he seemed to be happy that I was in reach... "Frak."

"Move!" Telca growled as she leapt to her feet and dragged me up with her, her grip on my arm forcing me to follow her as she ran along the top of the shelf, kicking various things out of her way as she did so.

I twisted slightly as we ran, looking back at the bug as he chased us. I really didn't think it was a good sign that the shelf was wobbling as Telca hopped from one shelf onto another, bringing me with her. I really didn't think it was a good thing that this new shelf was wobbling more than the first...

And then the bug tried to copy our example.

Have you ever seen 'The Mummy'? Remember that library scene where Evelyn toppled one shelf, and it did a domino effect with the rest of the shelves, decimating the entire library? Yeah. Well, we were in the process of reinacting that scene.

"Oh my gods we're all gonna die!!" I wailed as I watched the shelf that the bug had just leapt onto wobble, then start to tip sideways towards us. A part of my mind took notice of the fact that the bug looked just as terrified as I was, but I hardly ever took notice of that part of my mind for very long. It tended to try to get me to clean things and listen to my conscience.

"Telca!"

I blinked as a blue blur shot past me, then blinked some more when I saw that Telca was no longer standing next to me. It only took me a moment to realise that the blur had been Beast, and that he had saved Telca while leaving me behind. "You bastard!!" I screeched as the first shelf slammed into the one I was standing on, and I felt my heart leap into my throat as I tried to keep my balance, instinctively shifting to shield the two dragons that were now frozen in terror, refusing to let go of me. Oh sweet Goddess this is going to hurt....

"Gotcha!" Tvashtar grinned as he grabbed me, his arms wrapping around my waist and his tail curled around my left ankle as he beat his wings strongly, effortlessly lifting us out of the way of the shelves that were toppling across the entire store.

"Clean up in Isles two through fifteen...." The P.A. announcer actually sounded a little surprised this time. A good change from the catatonic tone from before.

After taking a moment to get a death grip around my Guardian's neck, I twisted slightly and surveyed the damage, paling at the complete desolation that was the store. "I'm not paying for this," I muttered before blushing and looking up at Tvashtar. "Uh... where's your shirt?"

"Had to get rid of it. I couldn't regrow my wings while wearing it," he explained, refusing to meet my gaze as he carefully landed a little ways away from the chaos. "Are you alright?"

"Nearly had a heart-attack and I have this overwhelming urge to smack Beast, but other than that, I'm fine," I shrugged as he released me and quickly put two feet of space between us. I rolled my eyes and turned to look at Telca as she and Kadrith ran over to us. "Ne, I think we've done enough shopping for one day."

"Yeah. Beast's gone to dig Zelgadis out of the wreckage. Stupid chimera was still glomping the coffee beans," she told me with an exasperated sigh.

That jogged my addled memory. "Oh my gods! Korin!! KORIN!!" The sound of a large belch from above made me jerk my gaze upwards, staring at the green dragon that was happily licking his fangs clean. "Korin!" Not caring about where he had been or what damage he himself had caused, I reached up and hauled him into my arms, hugging him tightly. Damned dragon. Where the hell have you been?

::It's sample day!:: he sent, flashes of pleased greens and blues assaulting my mind's eye. I was just happy that he was alive and seemingly over his sugar rush from before. ::Some of it was really good. And it was all free!::

Kadrith smirked and went to stand next to his brother. "So... who was it that said that this assignment would be boring?"

"Oh shut up," Tvashtar grumbled, folding his arms over his chest as he fanned his wings slightly, stubbornly refusing to rise to his brothers taunts.

"Alright, let's just pay for this stuff and bolt," Telca ordered as she grabbed her cart from where it had narrowly avoided the domino shelves and shoving it towards the only open cash, cackling softly when people turned, saw us coming, and ran. "Yay! No waiting!"

I rolled my eyes and silently followed Tvashtar over to the cash, eyeing him curiously as he leaned against the handle bar before I reached out and poked him in the ribs, quirking an eyebrow when he yelped and jumped. "What's got your tail in a knot?"

He looked at me, his gaze seemingly staring into my soul for a moment before he reached out, lay a hand on the top of my head and ruffled my hair. "You worry too much."

I snarled wordlessly and raked my fingers through the knots he had created with that gesture. "Never do that again," I growled, catching his playful smirk before my attention was drawn elsewhere. Mainly to the chimera that was being wheeled over to us. "Oh not again."

Beast sighed and looked at Zelgadis where he lay in the cart. "I'm afraid so. He was rendered unconscious by the economy sized jars of Maxwell House that toppled onto him."

"Could be worse," Kadrith shrugged, chuckling when I looked at him in askance. "Those jars of T'sulft could have broken over him."

Telca and I cringed and shuddered. "Don't even joke about that," she muttered sourly, shuddering again afterwards.

"Not to interrupt... but has anyone seen our young Nightcrawler?" Beast asked, looking at each of us in turn as we shrugged. "Oh dear. Kadrith, would you mind keeping an eye on Zelgadis? I am going to go see if I can find Kurt."

"Stay away from the Meat Department!" Telca called after him as he turned and bounded into the chaos.

All in all, at least no one had gotten killed. That was easily to assume because the interior of the store was now being raided. Anyone and everyone were now grabbing whatever they could from the toppled shelves and then bolting from the building before the employees could stop them.

I sighed as I watched the insanity and hugged the dragons to me a little tighter, feeling Akhor and Korin happily nuzzle their heads against my throat as they crooned softly. Kalamadea was still trying to get over the incident from before, and I belatedly wondered if I'd ever be able to get his talons out of my shoulder....

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"What in the worlds?" Kadrith muttered under his breath as he, Tvashtar and I turned towards the scream, the three of us calmly watching as Nightcrawler bamfed his way across the store, the Predator in hot pursuit. "Well.... we found Nightcrawler. Now what?"

"I.... am not sure," his brother answered, blinking a few times before turning to look at me. "Don't you think it's high time we find out what's going on with that Hunter?"

I whined. "Do we have to? I've seen the movies, read the comics and the books. The only way we're going to get any information out of him is if one of us beats him in a fair fight! And I don't wanna!" I paused. "And you're not gonna!"

He grumbled and banished his weapon. "What good am I to you if you won't let me help you?"

"Getting yourself killed will not help me one bit. You don't know what the Pred's capable of. I do."

"Why don't you just fill us in?" Kadrith rumbled, looking at me curiously as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Do you seriously expect me to go through everything I've managed to memorize from two movies, five books and fifty comics in the span of two minutes?"

Telca's Guardian sighed and lowered his arms, tail twitching slightly. "Good point. Well, we can't let Lady Telca see that Hunter trying to kill Nightcrawler. There's no telling what she'd--"

"It's doing WHAT?!"

I looked over at a now enraged Telca and sighed. "Chill. I'll go get Kurt... Er...Tvashtar? Can you pry Kalamadea off of me? I think one of his talons just scraped against bone..." I held still as my Guardian slowly coaxed the eldest dragon off of me, wincing when Kalama's talons left numerous deep gashes behind. "That blazing hurts... Here. Take them too." I shoved Akhor and Korin into his arms, then turned and headed into the war zone.

Kadrith glanced at Tvashtar as my three dragons perched along his shoulders and horns, and smirked.

"Not. One. Word," Tvashtar snarled, trying to look dignified while Korin and Akhor fought over who'd get to perch on which of his horns.

I meanwhile, was chasing the Predator who was chasing Kurt, who was bamfing all around the store like mad. Needless to say this wasn't helping my current mood one bit, especially now that the bug - which did not get squished - had just managed to dig himself out and was now chasing me. "Enough is enough...."

Kadrith and Tvashtar watched impassively as the chase went past them, the former nudging his brother in the side with his tail. "I think your Avatar is about to do something drastic."

Indeed I was. Hehe.

"AVATAR UNLEASHED!!!!!" I threw my head back and gasped as power flooded though me, dimly aware that my hair and eyes had turned pure gold as black spines tore from the backs of my arms, my nails hardening and changing into black talons. "Mwahahaha!! Bonzai!!"

Telca sighed wistfully as I tackled the Pred at exactly the same moment that the bug tackled me and the Pred tackled Nightcrawler, the dust cloud that formed filling a good portion of the store. "She gets all the fun," she complained, ignoring the slightly shocked looks she got from Tvashtar and Kadrith as she watched the dustcloud.

"And you thought your Avatar was insane," Tvashtar grumbled to his brother, yelping seconds later when an airborne Nightcrawler slammed into him.

"Ugh.... dude.... that was not fun...." the teen mumbled, his eyes doing that little swirly thing that most people's do when they've been knocked silly.

I meanwhile, was busy alternating between avoiding being skewered by the bug's claws and being ripped open by the Predator's wrist knives. All in all it was kinda fun. Granted it ended all too soon. I ducked as I caught the blades of the Pred's weapon on the spines of my left right arm, wincing as the bug's claw missed my head and sent the Pred sprawling backwards out of the dustcloud. Now that he was gone, I turned my attention to the bug and gave him my best demented grin. "Hello."

I imagine that seeing the bug literally bolt for the doors was quite a sight for Tvashtar and Kadrith to see. I, on the other hand, merely placed my hands on my hips, threw my head back, and cackled manically.

"I don't get paid enough for this," Tvashtar muttered.

"We don't get paid," Kadrith reminded him.

"Well that's a huge part of the problem right there," I grinned as I walked over to them, a little giddy from the surge in Power I was still experiencing. Tvashtar's look of shock made me wonder if maybe I'd unhinged his mind, at least until I realised that he was staring at something past my right shoulder. "Eh?"

And thus I turned and came face to chest with the charging Predator.

I stumbled backwards a little in surprise, annoyed that the Pred didn't even seem the least affected by the impact. Indeed, he had the nerve to look at me in annoyance, mandibles twitching as he folded his arms over his chest and gave me a 'what do you think you're doing' look.

A soft groan drew my attention to Nightcrawler as Telca wove a healing spell on him, and I cocked my head to the side curiously as I looked at him. "What exactly did you do to piss off el Hunter?" I asked, jerking a thumb over my shoulder at the alien that was towering there glaring at the teen.

"Me?" He tried to look innocent, saw our unimpressed expressions, and caved. "There was a sale on and I kinda... bamfed in and grabbed the last box out from under his hands."

"Box of what?" Telca asked.

The teen sighed and pointed into Tvashtar's cart. We all bent over and peered through the bars, blinking at the box of gourmet burgers for a moment before returning our gazes to Nightcrawler.

"They're really good," he said weakly.

I blinked and glanced back at the Hunter, who was still glaring at the teen, then turned and looked at Telca, who was obviously trying very hard not to laugh. Unfortunately, the glance we shared was our undoing, and we broke out into hysterical howls of laughter mere seconds later.

Of course, in doing so, we managed to set Kadrith and Tvashtar off, so now there were four of us laughing insanely and generally hanging onto each other for balance lest we collapse to the floor. I had almost managed to get myself under control when I caught the 'what the hell' look that Nightcrawler and the Predator exchanged, and then I became a lost cause.

Sheer lack of air brought me to a coughing stop five minutes later, and I alternated between gasping and snickering as I clung to Tvashtar to keep myself from falling flat on my ass on the floor, dimly aware that he was holding me upright as he leaned back against a rack of magazines, trying to catch his breath.

"You're doing this.... over a box.... of burgers?!" It seemed that Telca still hadn't wound down yet, because the moment both the Pred and Kurt nodded, she started howling again. Kadrith was having trouble keeping her from collapsing, granted it would have been easier if he himself had stopped laughing....

I bet you didn't know Telca's laughter was infectious. Hell, neither did we. But the sight of Telca tripping Kadrith and crashing to the floor managed to bring grins to everyone's faces (even though it was kinda hard to tell with the Pred), and the subsequent sight of her rolling around laughing like a maniac pretty much turned all of us into lost causes.

The sight of the cashier fainting from shock didn't help us one damned bit either.

And that's how Beast found us. I suppose that explains why he merely shuffled forward to grab his cart before heading to a newly opened cash. But hey, we were all on our way to oxygen deprivation, so what did we care?

In the end, we got a discount on all the stuff we bought for the only reason that the employees wanted to get the lot of us out of the store. Apparently the sound and sight of us had terrified most, if not all, of the clerks and shoppers. But hey, we got a discount out of it! However we also got something else....

"I think I cracked a rib," Tvashtar wheezed as he and I finished loading up the car, lowering his right hand to gingerly rub at his side as he grabbed the cart and headed back to the store.

I rolled my eyes and slammed the trunk closed, quirking an eyebrow at the three dragons that were plastered against the rear windshield making faces at us. You three look ridiculous, I thought at them as I climbed into the drivers seat and leaned back into the soft chair, wincing when I heard a low snore from the back. Beast had dumped Zelgadis back there a few minutes ago and latched him to a seat, and even now, the chimera wasn't awake. It was downright amazing that he had stayed unconscious throughout the entire insane cackling session that we had done.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and let myself revert to my Elven form, trying not to wince as the spines along my arms retracted into my flesh. I'll never get used to that.... A draconic body landed on my right shoulder moments later, a scaled head nuzzling against my cheek, and I smiled slightly as I opened my eyes and glanced at Akhor out of the corner of my eye. "Heyla littling."

::Elfy!::

Chuckling at the joyous tone, I reached up and lightly stroked his chest, humming softly in reply as he crooned happily and curled his tail around my neck. The other two chose that moment to join us, Korin landing on the steering wheel in front of me while Kalamadea merely hopped onto the top of my head and curled up right there.

"Well, don't you look all comfy. And here I am shoving that monster on wheels back to the store with bruised ribs!"

I rolled my eyes again at Tvashtar's playful taunting then looked over at him as he climbed into the passenger seat, watching as his wings folded and retracted into his back. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Not in the least. It kinda tickles actually," he admitted while he closed the door and strapped himself in. "We'd better hurry, Telca's waiting for us."

I groaned and relocated Korin and Kalamadea onto the dashboard, shifting to dig into my pocket for the keys....

....and blinked when an arm reached through my open window to jingle the keys in my face.

I jerked a little, then made a grab for the keys, scowling when they were pulled back out the window. Now almost completely annoyed, I unbuckled myself and leaned out the window, glaring up at the Pred that was crouched on the roof of the car. "You bastard," I smirked, seeing the smug look in his eyes as he growled in amusement, then threw the keys to me. "When the hell did you.... Oh, nevermind. I don't want to know."

"C'mon, Lashana!! I'm growing old over here!" Telca shrieked from the other end of the parking lot, making us wince.

"I have a feeling that I should have bought some Tylenol," I muttered under my breath before returning my attention to the Pred. "You! Off the car!"

"Fine! Have it your way Lashana!" Telca's voice rang out across the parking lot again. "I'll tell Malcho you said 'hi'!"

"Oh Sweet Mother of the Gods!" I wailed as I ducked back into the car and shoved the keys into the ignition, slamming my foot onto the gas pedal the second the engine came to life. I was dimly aware of the Pred roaring in shock as the car lurched forward, sending him sprawling into the air to land on - and crush - a little neon pink VW Beetle. But by now I was way too worried about what the insane Avatar of Gaia was going to do to my Quetzacoatl to care.

~*~

We got home in record time. Granted Telca still beat us, but only by a few moments. She was still in the process of leaping out of her truck when I peeled into the driveway, ignoring Tvashtar's yells to stop driving like a maniac as I slammed on the brakes, then scrambled out of the car and bolted after Telca.

"Oh, Malcho!" Telca called in a sing-song voice as she ran for the backyard, carrying the frying pan, bucket and the razor she had bought. That tone of voice coming out of Telca's mouth is never a good thing. N-E-V-E-R.. "Malcho, where aaaaare you? Hehe."

I didn't know what she was up to, but I didn't want to find out (why a bucket anyway? Wait, I don't want to know...). "MALCHO!!" My voice cracked in the middle of the screech, but I kept screaming anyway. "MALCHO!! RUN!! FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS.... RUN!!!" I skidded around the corner of the Palace and saw my Quetzacoatl lounging by the pool. In full view. And sleeping. Apparently I hadn't screamed loud enough. I could fix that. "MALCHO!!!! RUN AWAY!!!"

That did it.

"Que?!" His head snapped up at the scream, tongue flicking out to taste the scents of the air before his eyes widened in horror at the sight of Telca running at him and a panicked me way too far behind to help. "Carumba!"

I poured on the speed at the same time that Telca did, granted in the long run, it didn't much matter.

"DIGU VOLT!!!!"

By the time the lightning spell had run it's course and left Telca and I to drop to the ground in twitching heaps, I was severely regretting my decision to teach the snake magicks. I was also regretting that I couldn't move my arms so as to be able to try to strangle him as he cried out in worry and rushed over to me while a concerned Beast bounded over to the still twitching Telca.

"Mi amiga? Are you alright? Por favor, mi amiga! Answer me!"

"Malcho?" I rasped.

"Si, muchacha?!"

"FIREBALL." The spell was weak - hell, I'd just been electrocuted - and it wasn't very well aimed, but it was enough that Malcho was now slightly crispy and covered with soot.

"A simple 'I'm okay, amigo' would have sufficed," he grumbled sourly after coughing out a few lungfulls of smoke.

"MALCHO!!"

We both turned at the low growling scream, paling when we saw Telca staggering towards us, an aura of power swirling around her. "Oh sheee-yit," I whispered before looking up at Malcho. "RUN!!"

Tvashtar shook his head ruefully as he watched Telca chase Malcho and I around the backyard, sighing in exasperation before looking at his brother. "This... is going to take a lot of work."

"Tell me about it. At least you don't have to try to convince a psychopathic sorceress that as the Avatar of Gaia, she's not supposed to beat people unconscious with a bucket," Kadrith muttered as he looked over at Telca wearily. "Or anything else for that matter."

"I pity you. Really."

"Oh, shut up."