Authors Notes: Hello...thank you for reviewing Fred Weasley! I don't normally write on the toilet though admittedly this story is based on a real life experience for me. That notebook was $8.00!

Snape suddenly burst out laughing, while Remus felt like gagging, his brain feeling as if it had been flushed down the toilet.

Snape cleared his throat, and Remus could distinctively see tears of laughter rolling down his face.

"Remus...erm...You mean 'Rumes' don't you?" Severus sneered, his hands shaking uncontrollably. Remus rolled his eyes. 'Damnit, he'd forgotten to change the name...'

"Rumes was so powerful and elite, Trunks was automatically drawn to *cough* Rumes and they paired up to form the most powerful partnership ever" Snape laughed "haha, 'powerful?"

"Shut up!" Remus yelled, tears nearly overflowing. Severus ignored him and continued scanning through the story, searching the most amusing portions of fiction.

"blah blah...your work is rather dull Remus, ooohhh...look here, you seem to have a love interest in this part. Oops, I mean Rumes has a love interest. Android 18? Who the hell is Android 18?" Severus suddenly stopped talking for a loud thump echoed through the staffroom. Remus had fainted and he was now twitching uncontrollably, Severus watched, looking very entertained. He sat on the sofa, smirking down at Remus' body as it slowly vibrated towards the fireplace, his limps flailing and thrashing due to his seizure. For a few moments Severus sat staring delightedly at the kicking body of Remus. A particularly enjoyable movement for Severus was when Remus' legs kicked up his robes revealing his -er- 'privates', this was only instantaneous, though a smile was still plastered of Severus' face.

"Hello...Sevvie, are you going to save him?" Yes, it is me, the almighty author, sick of seeing Severus watching Remus with a perverted expression.

Snape looked up into the ceiling of the classroom, shocked. He tried to fix a 'what? Me, perverted? No...' look on his face.

"You!" he spat, I smiled smugly, it seemed Severus despised me due to the gross story lines I put him in. Also, it is because I prefer Remus over him but this is soon to be short-lived. As Remus will eventually wake up to find the author panicking, running around looking petrified.

"Save him!" I whinge, Severus cast a disdainful look at Remus who is still in a case of seizure.

"But he's dirty!" Snape tried to defend himself.

"You stuffed your hand down a toilet, so are you! Do something!" Suddenly Remus stopped moving, he flopped placidly on the ground. "Oh great, he'd dead!"

Severus gave what could be considered a scared expression. His lips curled into a grimace as froth seeped between Remus' blue lips.

"Oh well, he's dead...it seems that you'll have to write stories about ME now!" Snape said, looking very smug.

"Oh for goodness sake" I pulled myself down from the corner of the room and dragged myself in front of Severus, crouching down in front of Remus.

"Get your big arse out of my face" Snape said menacingly, I glare at him giving a wink that said 'I could make you gay with Harry AND James AND Sirius while he's still a dog', Snape recoiled from my glare.

I gently poke Remus, he doesn't seem to respond so I put my head close to his face. Listening for any signs of breathing. Suddenly I hear him gag, and something wet and horrible sloshed down my face. Severus cracked up laughing.

Oh how exceptionally wonderful, it seems as if Remus had just had practice for projectile vomiting. Target? : Me.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!" I run out of the story, anxious to wipe the vomit off my face while vowing never to enter any of my stories again.

Remus sat up looking bewildered, he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and blinked at Severus who was still crumpled up, laughing at the wonderful case of projectile motion.

"What did I just do?" Remus asked, wondering whether he wanted to know or not. Severus shook his head in reply, his eyes still watering from the display of pure amusement for him.

Remus sat up, feeling woozy, he noticed the parchment with his story, was on an armchair away from Severus. In one subtle move he crawled towards the parchment and roughly stuffed the parchment into his mouth. He chewed in slowly and tried to swallow it but then in a instant he remembered that it was his most fabulous piece of work. He, however, neglected to remember that the parchment had been subjected to toilet water and excrement by both he and Severus. So Remus, remembering that the story was the best ever pulled it out of his mouth and smoothed it down on his lap. (Maybe the seizure killed too many brain cells). Snape suddenly stopped laughing and he looked at Remus with an aghast expression. His ebony eyes wandering from the soiled and smelly parchment to Remus, who grinned a little too excitedly for comfort. Now it was Severus' turn to expel tonight's dinner as he gagged. A sharp giggle was heard in the corner of the room.

"Blast you Minerva!" Snape mumbled as soon as he finished retching. Remus was confused, though happy that he still had control over his story. However this was short-lived as Severus strided over, a sliver of disgusting green bile running down the corner of his mouth and grabbed Remus' piece of pathetic parchment. With relish and a scanning glance, Severus raised it too his mouth and tenderly dabbed the parchment on his mouth, smearing all that was written on the parchment. Remus whimpered.

"You idiot, that was my story I intended to post of fanfiction.net!" Remus shouted. Severus cocked his head and looked interested.

"I'm sooo sorry Remus...but your stories really are insufferable and boring" Severus spoke calmly, a glimmer of joy shone through his eyes.

Remus gasped, "How do you know?" he demanded. Staring sternly at Severus.

"It was I -" Snape shivered slightly "It was I that reviewed your story!"

Remus gasped again, this time accompanied by him clasping his chest, "Oh no...but the review was about my NC-17 one with Android 18 and Trunks..."

"My Dear Lupin, may I suggest next time you write a story about sex you don't entitle it 'My love affair with a beautiful male and hot chick - though for your liberty, I printed it off for Dumbledore to read for his entertainment"

Lupin felt sick again.