THE LAST GLYPH

just one in the horrible series of LoK fanfics Nike could possibly imagine

by Nike Megami

Notice: I do not own Raziel, or Kain, or any of the characters or places mentioned in this fic. All copyright go to the respective geniuses whose creative minds gave birth to Legacy of Kain, Soul Reaver, and others (whom I shall not mention, for that would spoil the story!)

Also, I apologize for the goofy symbols in the story...I don't know how to edit those out, so please bear with me!

This one takes place sometime in SR1, after Rahab has been slain and all the glyphs are collected. ^-^


Raziel stretched his arms at full length and hummed happily. With all the glyphs in his possession, he now had the means and the power to find Kain and defeat him, once and for all. His revenge drew nigh, and the exhilaration of his impending victory surged him over the edge of the cliff and into the pool of water below.
Finally, he thought, no more wretched puzzles to solve, no more blocks to push, and no more stupid glyphs to search for! I am, at last, free to carry out my original mission!
Not so fast, my angel of death, the Elder God reprimanded.
Raziel growled. What more do you demand of me?! I'm not searching for another ruttin' glyph!
I'll not have you speak to me in that fashion, Raziel. You know how easily I can destroy you.
Raziel treaded the water as he retorted, I'm fed up with all your petty little missions for me! Can't I go slay my master in peace?!
Actually, Raziel, there is but one more glyph you must find.

WOULD YOU STOP SCREAMING AND ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN?!?!?
The entire earth rumbled with the Elder's resounding bellow, and a fissure beneath Raziel's madly thrashing feet threatened to yawn open and swallow him into oblivion.
Needless to say, the blue stalker fell inordinately silent.
Ahem. In the corner of the swamps of Nosgoth, there lies an ancient shrine, buried under centuries of plant growth. In this shrine, you will find the last and most powerful of the elemental glyphs.
Ah. Even more powerful than the Sunlight Glyph?
Sure, why not...by the way, it's to the northeast.
With these last words, the Elder God left Raziel to his new quest.


Raziel dove deep into the caves and crevasses of the world under the lake and swam for what seemed an eternity. Eventually he came upon a shallow area, from which he emerged, shook himself dry, and proceeded through the rest of the caves on foot.
After following many twists and turns and finding himself wholly lost, Raziel spotted a wall which, with the power of Zephon's soul, he knew he could climb to escape from this labyrinth. He deftly scaled the wall and hoisted himself onto the ledge.
What is this wretched place? he wondered.
Surrounding him were filthy, muddy, sticky, wet piles of dead leaves with the occasional plant springing from their murky depths. Peculiar plants grew abundantly here, many with the recurring pattern of five leaves to a bud.
That stupid glyph had better be easy to find, Raziel cursed in a low tone, gingerly picking his way through the swampy waters.

After much torment and stepping in things he wished he'd never had the pleasure of finding, Raziel came upon a small stone doorway hidden in the trees. A crudely-painted sign hung above, reading:
PSYCHE..........GLYPH
snooch
Raziel repeated to himself. Must be some sort of password.
Remembering that single word, Raziel stepped bravely over the threshold and began thinking aloud.
Psyche Glyph...I do believe the Elder is right. If I remember correctly, the psyche has something to do with the soul. So this Psyche Glyph should have the power to incapacitate anyone, including Kain.
Raziel maliciously rubbed his hands together and chuckled. I will be unstoppable with this glyph.
He found the decrepit, rotten remains of a wooden door down the end of the passageway and swaggered over it.
Now, if I know anything about glyph shrines, there should be some guardians here—
a human voice shrieked.
Raziel whirled about, ready to destroy anything, and grumbled most disappointedly.
What sort of sad mockery is this? he wondered silently.
Before him, leaning against the wall, was a young man with long, unkempt hair and a five-o'clock shadow to put anyone to shame. Beside the youth was his dog, a pitiful German Shepherd kind of dog, but it looked poorly put-together, as if Melchiah had made the dog.
Yo, Scoobs, you see that?! the youth whimpered.
Ra roo!!! the dog replied.
I think we been high too long, pal. I gotta stop this shit!
The youth tried to get up, failed in that effort, and resigned himself to leaning against the wall some more. He placed a small white stick between his teeth, took a deep breath, and sighed happily.
Screw running. I'm too damn hungry.
Raziel tried anxiously to creep past these blundering fools when suddenly the human called out to him.
Yo, wing-man! What brings you here?
Ah.........I was just looking for something very important.
Oh yeah? Well, if you keep going that way, you'll find some very nice men back there, they'll hook you up with whatever you need for a reasonable price. It's been nice meeting you!
Grood ruck, Rrazielll! the dog happily chimed, then took a drag from the human's smoke stick.
Raziel nodded curtly to the pair and tore down the hall. He didn't know how the dog knew his name, nor did he want to stay around them long enough to ask. At the end of the corridor he flung open the huge double doors, not noticing the five-leaf symbol imprinted on them.

Raziel sighed in relief, now that he could no longer hear the creepy stoners down the hall, and stepped down the stairs towards the door below and beyond.
This glyph had better be worth all this trouble, he said to himself. I'd readily push and pull twenty thousand blocks than have to deal with more things like those two!
Suddenly he found himself surrounded by kinves, swords, and various other sharp implements of pain, mainly centered around his crotch and chest. He could not move without impaling himself and flinging himself into the Spectral Realm, and he didn't dare go searching for a planar portal. There had to be some way out of this predicament.
Well, well, well, Lunchbox, look at this mother-fucker we just bagged.
Raziel searched frantically for the source of the voice and found a long-haired human in his face. The human, apparently very full of some unnatural substance, glared deep into his eye sockets and laughed.
Fuck. I think all those years of fuckin' weed and shit have finally caught up with me. Do you see this blue mother-fucker?
Another human, this one large and silent, nodded in reply.
Well, as long as he's here, we might as well try. Let him loose, Tons of Fun.
The silent one clicked a button on his belt, and all the knives and pointy things flew back into their hiding places. Raziel loosened his joints, much relieved that he could move again.
The long-haired human grinned. That's one of his specialties. He likes to fuck around with gadgets and shit. This man is a fuckin' genius.
I don't doubt you one bit, Raziel lied. Will you let me pass?
Well, I could just let you go on your way, but...that's not the way we do business.

Yeah! Fuck. You mighta thought with all the weed and shit all over the place this stupid ass would figure out what we got goin' on here, right Lunchbox?
Lunchbox nodded silently, gazing intently at Raziel.
Uh, excuse me...what is your name? Raziel asked hesitantly.
I'm Jay, the king of this fuckin' joint, and this is my cohort Silent Bob. You can call him Lunchbox or Tons of Fun, if you like.
Well, Mister Jay...and Sir Silent Bob...I'm just here to get the most powerful glyph, and then I'll be on my way. It won't take me too long. Would you please just let me pass?
Hey, what the fuck is with this fuckin' shit? Why do you call that fat fuck Sir and only call me Mister? What kinda shit are you tryin' ta pull here, you mother fucker?
Silent Bob perked an eyebrow as Jay shoved Raziel ineffectually, and repeatedly.
Raziel grasped Jay by the neck and shoved him against a wall.
LET ME LEAVE IN PEACE OR I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!! Raziel bellowed, yanking the scarf down from his face to expose the brilliant white fangs reaching for Jay's soul.
Jay whimpered. I didn't wanna piss you off. Jesus fuckin' Christ, can ya put me down?
Raziel dropped Jay to the ground, who dusted his hands off and rubbed his neck gently.
Fuck, man. All you had to do was say the magic word, and we'll let ya go scot-free.
Raziel wrapped the scarf about his head once more and sighed.
Magic word.... He remembered the word he had seen on the sign above the entrance and regretted his eager zeal to follow the Elder's command to find the last glyph.
he uttered.
Jay slapped his hands to his forehead. Fuck, man! He said the magic word! How the fuck did he know the magic word!?
Anyone coming through the front door can see where you painted it, stupid, Silent Bob retorted, and fell silent again.


Jay reluctantly opened the doors Raziel had been so anxious to reach and bowed.
Be brave, my man. What you find in there is the most potent shit in this whole goddamn world. It takes a real man to be able to stand up to that shit.
Silent Bob also bowed, still retaining the dignity of his name.
Raziel scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders. At least he was past the first of the real guards.
He stepped through the doorway—and was rather surprised to find the glyph before him already.
What?? This can't be it—that was far too easy! Even easier than that Force Glyph!
He searched for other doorways, found none, and turned to stare at the glyph.
Imprinted on it was the five-leaf symbol he'd seen on those strange plants and decorating the interior of this cursed shrine. Taking more notice of the surroundings, he saw a statue of a very pleased individual sucking from a long pipe, at the end of which lay the glyph, happily bobbing around in a bowl.
I hope I don't regret this, Raziel muttered as he stepped towards the glyph.
It circled about him, as he expected, and plummeted into his body. He shook his head, mused about the possible powers of this, the most powerful glyph in all of Nosgoth, and proudly left the room.
Jay sighed, and immediately fell to his knees in worship of Raziel. Silent Bob followed suit.
Raziel perked an eyebrow and stepped around the groveling humans.
Why are you so...yielding? Raziel asked of them.
Hey, man, you just bonged the biggest fuckin' bong in the whole goddamn world—and you're still standin' up straight!! You are a god!
Raziel decided it would be easier to just accept the worship and go on his merry way to Kain. He found the nearest warp gate, stepped through to the Chronoplast, and hurried down the halls to the very heart of Mobius's hideout.

Kain greeted him. I am rather disappointed in your progress. I expected you would be here more quickly.
I just happened to find the ultimate weapon against you, Kain.
Kain raised his eyebrows, apparently amused.
You cannot stand against my most powerful Glyph...the Psyche Glyph!!!
Raziel unleashed the power of his latest find. Swirls of green smoke filled the room, and in a flash of light the two of them found themselves feeling....very woozy.
Kain muttered. What the hell was that?
I dunno... Raziel raised his right hand, stared at the Soul Reaver and gasped.
Bloody hell....my hand is HUGE!!
Kain peered foggily at Raziel's hand and pulled a double take.
You're bloody right! Your hand is enormous! Kain looked at his own and groaned.
Mine is too!
Damn! And look at these feet! They're huge too!
Raziel stared in perplexion at his own feet, and the scarf around his neck lost its hold and slipped to the floor.
Kain glanced at Raziel and shouted, Raziel! Your face!
Raziel groped his own head and panicked.
My jaw! Where's my fuckin' jaw?! AAAAH!!!
He ran circles around the room, looking for his lost jaw, and gave up rather quickly.
I'm so murderously hungry... Kain complained, and started munching on Raziel's scarf.
Raziel retorted. That's my jaw!
Oh. Forgive my rudeness.
Kain handed him the scarf, which Raziel quickly tied around his face like a cowboy's bandana. The two of them sat down on the ground, leaning against the wall, and exchanged pathetic sighs.

Hey, Raz? Kain said after a while.

I'm bloody sorry about throwin' ya in the Abyss. I fucked up your wings good, didn't I, old fellow?
Ah, don't worry about it. I can surely do cool shit with these wings.
Oh? Like what? You bloody well can't fly.
Why, sure I can!
Raziel leapt up to the highest ledge, jumped for the middle of the chamber, and grabbed his wings. Floating gently like a leaf, he spiralled down slowly, using his wings as a parachute.
Kain laughed his happy ass off, completely oblivious to the plans he had made for bringing Raziel to his destiny. Raziel forgot all about his revenge as he continued to flap and soar about like a drunk canary.

The Elder God could see all this, and hummed with worry.
I did not expect the Glyph to be this strong. My disturbed little Soul Reaver will be quite upset when he sobers up and discovers that it is not the Psyche Glyph, but the Psychedelic Glyph he has found—

Oh, are you begging the author to stop the insanity? Okay, I'll stop, just so long as you promise to give me feedback on this little story. I want your honest opinions! Please give feedback!