So long, Cowboy...and that was it: the end, finite, end of story. But, maybe, just maybe, it was only the beginning. When he thought back to that time of his life, Jet Black wondered how it had all begun. It was hard for him to remember exactly when he had started actually liking Faye and Spike and Ed and Ein. Or maybe it was more of a pondering about when he had started to like having them around or when he had finally been able to call them his friends to himself. When he looked in the mirror-something that he didn't like to do very often-something was different. Jet might still look the same from the outside, but something had changed and he wasn't the same person anymore.
Idly, he donned his absurd apron and cooked up a storm, forgetful of the fact that he was cooking for only one person now. As he fiddled with the dial on the stove, Jet tried to think of what he could do now. He really wasn't a bounty hunter and, he admitted with a rueful grin, had never been one. At least, never a very good one. After all, it wasn't as if the Bebop crew had ever managed to dig up a significant amount of money by tracking down wanted people. With a noisy clatter, he set out the plates and dished out the food. "Spike, dinner! Faye...Ed...Ein, dinner!" He called absently and sat down. They were missing out on a good meal, he thought, shoveling the food into his mouth. When no one else appeared to help him eat, Jet moved on to Spike's plate, even though he really wasn't all that hungry. Massaging his head, he quietly put down the plate and dug into the next one. Faye's plate. Not that it mattered anymore. They were all gone. They had all left him eventually. He was alone again, the way that he had wanted to be for so long. But now that they-his crew, he thought with a grim smile-had gone, he wished they would come back.
Jet remembered telling Spike that he finally understood why Spike didn't like "tomboys and rug rats". But here, in the ungodly silence, he knew that it wasn't exactly true. Because Jet did miss them and he had liked Faye and Ed. It was too quiet here, not to mention dark. He stood up quickly, and leaving the plates out, set about fiercely cleaning all the light fixtures. Coughing in the shower of dust, Jet realized that Spike had also liked Faye and Ed, even if they were the very category of people he claimed to despise. Sighing, Jet could see so clearly the event just a few days ago...or was it weeks? He was losing track of time, but that wasn't important anymore. BYE BYE...Ed had written with a picture of her face beneath. Jet figured he would never be able to forget that moment. He could still see the brilliantly red paint, shining slightly in the sunset and the silhouette of Spike as he stood there...silent and staring, his cigarette smoke floating and twisting in the air. There could be no doubt in that moment that Spike had grown to care for the little lost girl, a computer hacker who had managed to hack her way into the heart of the stoic Spike. But why would Ed, someone so completely on her own, choose a father who had forgotten her over the Bebop crew? Jet scratched his head again; family ties may be strong, but Ed's father had left her in day care for seven years and when he finally found her again, had disappeared to continue his "work". Jet still didn't trust him. He hoped Ed was all right. Her father hadn't even taken the time to learn if she was his daughter or his son, just thanked them for watching out for her and took off. It made Jet feel slightly sick, almost as though it was his fault Ed had left. He should have been watching her more carefully, should have persuaded her to stay, should have, should have, should have.
He stopped trying to clean the lights, because it was no use. He was just shifting the dust around the room and couldn't seem to focus anyways. He could have sat down and watched Round Up, but the guy had lost his job and his coworker was apparently getting married. Faye had seen the guy at the airport and had told Jet later. Everything is falling apart, she had said, trying not to cry. It's not just us, Jet...it's everyone. Nothing's will be the same. There won't be a bounty report anymore, but it won't matter, because Spike's going off to get himself killed and Ed already left with Ein. And then she turned away, so he wouldn't see the lone tear making it's slow pathway across her thin face. He wished he could reach out to her, but he didn't know how. Even after all this time, he hadn't known what to say or how to comfort her. At least, he had said slowly, knowing it wasn't the right thing to say, at least, you got your memory back. Faye shook her head, helluva lot of good that did me. It doesn't make any difference anymore. There's nothing to go back to anyways. And then she leaned against the wall, breathing deeply and trying to control her twitching hands. When Spike had finally come back for the last time, Faye had tried to stop him. But it didn't do any good and he hadn't ever expected it to. After all, Julia was dead and Spike loved her. There was no question in that. Jet shook his head and cleared off the table. He half expected Spike to saunter back on to the ship and announce laconically that he was hungry. But Jet knew Spike was dead...he could feel it practically. And Faye had known it too. After Spike had gone, she had stood in the same place for hours, crying softly. Every once in a while, Jet thought he caught the strains of an old lullaby, as if she were singing to herself. And once, as he was drifting into sleep, he heard her say softly, "go me..." just as she had in that old videotape. Something about that made him feel empty, as if he had just finished running a marathon or as if he had been crying for hours until there was nothing left. But the next morning, he had woken up to her incessant whining, as if everything was the same again. She made him get up and fix up her ship, along with breakfast. You're leaving. It wasn't a question, he just said it. Faye nodded, can't stay here. Jet shrugged, not sure how to respond. He could say, sure, stay, but it was clear she didn't want to anyways. Maybe I'll come back and visit you, she offered and stood up. Sure. Just give me a call and come back anytime, and he knew, for once, he had said the right thing. The way he had wanted to say it and Faye smiled, blinking rapidly. Thanks Jet...she whispered, struggling to hold herself together. It will be awfully quiet without you, Jet had said carefully. Does that mean you'll miss me? Faye teased and Jet smiled at her, of course. And stepped nearer to give her a hug. He could feel her thin frame shaking. But Faye was a strong person. She hugged him tightly and then slipped away. He watched her climb nimbly on to her ship and shut the hatch. Faye waved a cheery goodbye, brushed her hair out of her face and started up her ship. He had fixed the ship up and the engine purred smoothly, as if it were happy to be going again. I'll be around if you need me, she called and headed off to places unknown. Jet stood, smiling and waving and feeling like a complete idiot. I shouldn't have let her go, he thought. I shouldn't have let any of them go. Long after she had gone, he stood there, staring into the skies and thinking back to all the places they had gone. The five of them...now the one of him, Jet thought sadly and laughed at himself for feeling so unhappy.
Eventually he went inside and walked the ship a couple times, unsure of what to do next. Smiling to himself, he debated whether he ought to climb up to attic and see where the old refrigerator had been. But Jet decided not to and continued walking. He laughed as he passed the bathroom, remembering how he and Spike had held Faye hostage in there. So many good memories, but that was all they were now. He was turning into a old geezer...ah, yes sonny. Those were the good old days, great times and mighty good memories. Yes sir...Gradually, his laughter turned to tears and he wiped them away angrily. Crying seemed so weak, he couldn't let anyone ever see him cry. The again, no one was here. No one would ever know and so the tears began to flow, a river flooding in the sadness of spring rain. He couldn't help wondering if somewhere Faye was also feeling miserable. Maybe somewhere out there Ed was crying, wishing to be back aboard the Bebop and Spike-no, he thought, Spike is dead. He doesn't feel any of this confounded loneliness. If only Spike would have listened...if only he would have tried to understand, if only he could have seen how much we all cared about him, if only he had known how much his departure would affect everyone, if only, if only, if only. Jet was faced with a new problem: how does one solitary soul learn to enjoy being alone again? How does someone who only wanted to be left alone, begin to want that once more? It was too painful, letting yourself like people and become attached to them. He could understand Spike's attempts to keep a shield between himself and others. Jet didn't want to meet new people or hire a brand new crew to keep him company. All he wanted was Spike, Ed, Faye and Ein to come back. But Spike was gone forever. Jet supposed he could call the others back for a funeral, but he shuddered at the idea of them all sitting around like little old ladies and crying into hankies. Besides, Spike wouldn't have wanted a funeral anyways. He would have understood then if no one held any ceremonies in his honor. After all, they all missed him in their own way, were all grieving. Except maybe Ed, who didn't know and Ein, who wouldn't have been able to understand, being only a dog. A dog...Jet thought, I could have a dog to keep me company. But somehow, the thought didn't appeal to him. All he felt was utter exhaustion and so he went to the old beat up couch and fell asleep almost immediately.
Later, in the middle of the night, he woke up abruptly. The silence was deafening and he could feel his heart racing. What was wrong? Something felt wrong...his heart pounded against his chest as he stood up and felt about for a light. A book of matches that Spike had thrown there after lighting a cigarette, were still on the table. Jet lit one and moved cautiously from room to room. It was lonely and infinitely more frightening being the only one here to investigate strange things. He peered carefully into Ed's room, noticing that she had taken everything. Something on the floor crunched beneath his shoe and he paused, peering carefully into the darkness. After a moment, he bent and picked it up, realizing that it was a small, crushed piece of Ein's food. Except for that, the room was nondescript; completely devoid of feeling and evidence that a smart young girl and her dog had ever lived here. Sighing, he shut the door and continued on.
Feeling around for the doorknob, he edged Faye's door open and poked his head in. Nothing was wrong there, but it was strange to see this room so empty too. He felt as if the ship were just some large empty shell, floating around aimlessly. As he was about to shut the door, something caught his eye and he quickly propped the door open again. Shining in the dim, flickering light of the match was Faye's beta tape player. She had forgotten it or maybe left it on purpose. Jet sighed and walked in the room, remembering the long voyage he had made in search of just this kind of relic. How surprising it had been to realize that he and Spike had trekked all that way and gotten the wrong kind of videotape player. He shook his head a little and sat down on the bed. The videotape was still there; he could see it through the little door on the front of the machine. Jet stood up again and walked quietly out of the room; he wasn't interested in viewing the tape, but he felt better knowing it was there. It was as if now he could say, see, she lived here. As if he had needed proof. Thinking about that, he thought that everyone had left so quickly and so close together, that the sudden silence and emptiness made it seem hard to believe that anyone besides himself had ever really been here. Suppose it had all been a dream? Massaging his head, he made his way back to the couch. It hadn't all been a dream and he had just figured out why he had awoken so suddenly. He flung himself back down on the couch and closed his eyes. It hadn't been a noise that had woken him...it was the silence. Even at night, the Bebop's crew couldn't seem to settle down and shut up. He remembered how it had bothered him at first, but then, he must have gotten used to it without noticing. He chuckled a little, thinking over all the noises that had lulled him to sleep, like Spike's heavy breathing and little squeaks now and then, as if he were dreaming like a dog: about chasing something and catching it. Sometimes, he would twitch in his sleep, causing the old couch to creak in the most obnoxious ways. Ein had a tendency to whimper softly, which would sometimes escalate to louder whining and maybe even a series of short yaps. That really used to drive Jet insane. Faye, who with the recent return of her memory hadn't slept much at all, had a way of rolling around a lot. And in the past few nights, it had been the faint humming sound of the beta tape player that he had heard. He sighed and shifted around on the narrow couch, trying to find the most comfortable position. Jet rolled back over the other way and thought hard. He knew there were these new tapes out...things you could have to listen to as you fell asleep. He had thought they were all a load of crap, with their soothing sounds and corny titles, like "Ocean Tide" and "Seagulls Talking". The ones that especially made him laugh, were the ones like "Nature at Night" and the parody that had been made of it, "Sleeping With Bears." That had gotten a wide reception of views and most didn't like it, but Jet thought it was hysterical, even if practically no one knew what a bear was anymore. But Jet thought now that he would like to have one of those tapes, only the one he wanted would have been the corniest of all: "A Bunch of People and Their Dog Making Annoying Noises As You Attempt Sleep." Somehow, he doubted one like that existed. He shifted his weight, ignoring the squeals of protest from the beat up couch and lay still. After a while, he fell back into a deep sleep.
