Disclaimer: Guess what! I still don't happen to own the characters or storyline of Cowboy Bebop. Amazing...^_~

Chapter 5: Stars

The next day, Faye barely talked to him. He wanted to throw something heavy at her and tell her to stop sulking. Instead, he acted as if nothing had happened. All in all, he was pretty good at it. It was at dinner that he finally gave in. The peace and quiet was nice, but he felt he should try to talk to Faye once more...before he finalized any plans to sell the ship and all.

"Faye, I-" he began hesitantly. Mutely, she handed him a glass to pour his drink in. "Uh, thanks, but I-" She pushed everything else on the table, excluding her plate towards him and faced that other way again, silent as the lingering presence of Spike. This was going to drive him crazy. "Listen, I didn't mean to be so...um, uncaring, as you said, the other day."

"Is this an apology?" Faye asked. He shrugged, then shook his head and finally gave a small nod. She glared at him. "Let's see you grovel a little...maybe then I'll forgive you."

"No...that's my apology, deal with it."

She sighed, "fine." And sat silent for the rest of the meal. But at least now, it was a comfortable silence and Jet relaxed, noticing that Faye wasn't sitting quite so rigidly now, though she still wasn't talking. He wondered morbidly if she would be as upset if he or Ed were to die. Or was it just that she had loved Spike? Jet suspected as much, although he'd never said anything. It was too bad, really, that Spike had been so caught up in the past, in memories of Julia. But Faye had never complained...she had never mentioned it, but Jet figured she had to have loved him, at least a tiny bit. Not that it mattered too much now. The problem with death was that old feelings didn't disappear with a person. Even though Spike didn't exist anymore, Faye still probably loved him. Jet knew he still loved Spike...well, what he meant by that was that Spike had been his best friend and Jet missed him. Too bad he couldn't have expressed anything like that while Spike was still alive. Was this the point of death? To make you realize how much you cared about a person, now that they were gone? Suppose everyone was like him in some small way; suppose no one ever told anyone how much they cared until it was too late. What a strange life...ashes to ashes: it was a lonely cycle. After he finished eating, Jet got up and walked to the nearest window. He heard Faye's footsteps following him.

"I don't regret meeting him," he said softly, knowing Faye would understand who he meant.

Faye nodded, "he was...one of the best friends I've ever had..." Her eyes clouded and she turned her head away. Jet turned his eyes back to the stars, giving her some privacy.

"Before he died...there was a shaman guy that I visited."

"Oh?"

"He said...oh, something about stars."

Faye joined him at the window, peering out at the stars.

"When you die...a star falls, that's what he said."

"Everyone has a star then?"

"That's what he said."

"I wonder which one is mine," Faye mused, staring out the window.

Jet said nothing, just continued looking outside.

"Don't you wonder?"

"No." He didn't...he just wished Spike wasn't gone. There was an emptiness inside him that still hadn't gone away. It strangely upset him that the emptiness inside himself was not echoed in the sky, in the heavens or anywhere in the universe.

"Oh. Well, I never saw a star fall...the shaman was probably full of shit," Faye announced and he could see her wanting to believe Spike was alive somewhere, wanting to believe she could rescue him and coax him back to life.

"Faye...stars falling or not, Spike is dead," he said bluntly, crushing any of her dreams of rescuing Spike from Vicious or the Syndicate.

"I...know...but-" she said brokenly and fell silent, rubbing her eyes.

"Do you believe in heaven?"

Faye shrugged, "not really."

"If it exists...he's there..."

"Of course he is. Spike was a good guy, no matter what else he was," Faye said quickly, sounding like he had been suggesting Spike was a horrible person.

Jet sighed...Spike...why did you leave us? You were dead all along and you let yourself make friends, you let us become attached to you...a dead man. How could you...

"I miss him, but..." Faye paused and then said in a loud, clear voice, "I'm glad I had a chance to meet him and get to know him."

"Yeah...me too," Jet echoed, wishing he could express it so well. He thought again about no one ever expressing how important someone else was until it was too late. But did it always have to be that way? Could no one break the cycle? Couldn't he? Jet sighed slowly; if Faye were to die right now, he would not have had a chance to say to her all that he wanted to say. But it was hard, so very hard to speak up. "...it was..." he searched desperately for the words he wanted so very badly to say. "It was...fun, while it lasted," he finally managed, feeling incredibly stupid. Fun? It was fun? What was wrong with him?

Faye laughed quietly and shook her head, "fun, huh. Well..." she paused, then shrugged, still laughing, "yeah, I guess it was...fun."

Jet gave up. Besides-Faye seemed to have a pretty good handle on the things he actually said, and the things he meant.

" Well, Faye...you're welcome to stay here...but I was planning to sell it. The Bebop and...everything."

Faye nodded shortly, not smiling so much anymore.

"I'm not a bounty hunter. I just can't do that anymore..." he trailed off, unable to explain. He felt the need for a brand new beginning and he wasn't going to get it as a bounty hunter. Besides, it didn't bring in enough cash. He would be broke before long. Feeding Spike, Faye, Ed and Ein had cut into the money he had set aside; there wouldn't be any money left soon. How much longer could he have gone on this way: fighting and killing, all to make a bit of extra cash. Spike would understand, Jet thought suddenly. He would understand why I have to sell it and do something different.

"Where will you go?" Faye asked, cutting into his thoughts.

But Jet had no answer for that yet, except to say that she was welcome to come with him, wherever it might be that he ended up. She thanked him distantly and after a while, retired to her room. He couldn't help thinking again: how oddly the new situation was like before, an altered reality. Some people believed in different dimensions...other worlds where a version of yourself lived and went about life, with only subtle differences in their lives from the reality that you knew. Maybe, in some other dimension, Jet Black had never met Spike Spiegel. Where was that version of himself now? Jet almost wished he could be in that dimension now. But would he really be happier having never met Spike? Certainly it was better to have had a chance to know him and lose him than to never have known he existed. Jet shook his head impatiently; he didn't believe in that kind of crap anyways. No use wasting his time wondering about his life in other dimensions. His life in this dimension was hard enough.

It was better now that he planned what to do next, instead of thinking of endless what ifs of the past. Tomorrow...perhaps then he could see about selling the Bebop. Faye might have some ideas about where he could make a good profit and find someone who would...well, who would love the ship as much as he did. The buyer would have to promise to take good care of it. But, as much as it hurt him to sell the Bebop, Jet knew he would never be able to move on otherwise. Maybe someday, he could buy it back or get another nice ship. For now, he would sell it and...what about a job? He thought for a moment...he had already tried being a policeman, already been a bounty hunter. Where to go now? Maybe a policeman again...or he could look into hiring himself out as some kind of detective. He'd probably be pretty good at that kind of work. If not, Jet was confident he'd find something. He might even go back to school and learn how to do something completely different.

And then there was Faye. She needed a friend and a place to stay. He considered the possibility of the two of them finding someplace to stay together. But that almost seemed too much like playing house-little Jet coming home to his happy wife. The idea was laughable; and besides, Faye would never go along with that. But they could rent some kind of house together until she got back on her feet. After that...well, it would be nice to know she was nearby and that he could always go visit someone who had been through all the same experiences, who would understand what he was dealing with and feeling, who was as unconnected from the rest of the universe as he. So that wasn't too bad, all things considered.

Then there was always Ed, of course. Jet felt confident she wouldn't stay with her no-good father for long even though, at the moment, she liked him. Maybe someday, Ed would also need a place to go. The three of them could live together, or in homes close to one another. He would call her tomorrow morning to see what she thought.

Eventually Jet turned away from the window and made his way back to the couch. He would take all the furniture with him when he left. It was comforting to think that after he moved off the Bebop, he could still be sleeping on this annoyingly noisy couch. Jet smiled and drifted into a deep sleep, his last thought that it was nice to be moving on, to have something to do again.

In the middle of the night, he awoke, feeling that he had forgotten something. He went over all his plans, but everything seemed to be pretty much in order. Somehow though, he just wasn't satisfied. It wasn't that he no longer felt connected, because there was Faye now. He crept to her room and peered in, smiling when he saw her sprawled out and snoring softly. She looked happy enough. We will be just fine, he thought, as the realization that he was really going to sell his ship and move away sunk in. But Faye looked so content, so confident in her sleep even, that he was reassured. It seemed ironically funny to him that Alisa had hated him for always being so right. He hoped he was doing the right thing now...Jet had never felt so unsure of himself before. After a moment, he shut the door and walked back to the huge window in the other room.

From the kitchen came the faint strains of the radio: he must have left it on, although he no longer needed it's noise to lull him to sleep. Looking out into the sky, he thought he saw one star twinkle and fall. From the radio came the distant lyrics of a song: "'Cause tomorrow's another day

And I'm thirsty anyway

So bring on the rain...

And I am not afraid

So bring on the rain*"

Jet leaned closer and whispered softly, glad to finally have some closure.

"So Long, Cowboy..."

*Unfortunately, I have been unable to figure out who this song is by so I will just say, I don't own it, nor did I make it up. It's a real song, written and belonging to someone else, about facing the next day and being strong.

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I FINISHED IT! WOHOO!! lol-i'm so happy now...sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out-what with the whole site crashing and all. But here it is: my ending chapter!! It was just a little longer than i was planning, but oh well...what did everyone think? i had a better chapter title this time!! but seriously, i hope people liked the actual chapter, not just the title...-_-' send me reviews, pleaseeeeeee?! *_* they make me happy! I really hope everyone enjoyed my "rfb fic that's real!!" lol...thanx for reviewing me everybody! it really means a lot to me! farewell ~CronoCat =^_^=