Title: Is it Okay to Feel This Way?

1 Author: Zipporah

Genre: Humor/Parody/Romance

WARNINGS: Contains EXCESSIVE SLASH! By excessive, I mean EXCESSIVE. By SLASH, I mean boys romantically involved with boys and girls romantically involved with girls. You are warned.

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. I am using them without the knowledge or consent of their owners. I am making no money.

Author's notes: Thank you Hurkon, for support and assistance. Thank you in advance to anyone who sends feedback! This is my first attempt at humor - I need to know how it turned out!



Dear Dairy,

Everyone around me is gay. To begin with, there's my best friend Harry and his boyfriend Draco. That relationship had a shocking beginning. Draco and Harry were fighting, and then Harry said something that made Draco start to cry, so Harry realized that Draco was human after all. That led them to the mutual realization that years of passionate hatred had all been a disguise for passionate love. They've been together ever since. They've spent the last four nights in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, and they've failed to develop puffy eyes. I'll have to remember to ask Harry how he manages that.

My other best friend, Hermione, is gay, too. Her girlfriend is my sister Ginny. No one saw that relationship coming. One night, Ginny had a crush on Harry, and the next morning she woke up to the shocking realization that she was a lesbian! She talked it over with Hermione, and together, they realized that that they were both intelligent, social, kind women with repressed passion for members of their own sex. It's a together forever thing with them now.

Then there are my fellow Gryffindor 6th years, Dean and Seamus. It was always known that they would wind up together. They were best friends, and then they started to want more. At first, they tried to have a secret relationship, just for the illicit thrill of it, but we found out about it pretty quickly. It would be hard not to, considering how loud Seamus can be sometimes.

Remus and Sirius were another obvious couple, as they were the only surviving Marauders. As the professor stood and embraced Black like a lover in third year, they realized exactly how difficult those thirteen years apart had been. They were together within the week; I think they see their relationship as a creative way of honoring the memories of their dead friends, Lily and James, (reportedly the secret lovers of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy; like I said, everyone's gay.)

Next are Cho and Fleur. They aren't really my friends, as such, but Cho sometimes practices Quidditch with Draco and Harry. Those two, Cho and Fleur I mean, are absolutely perfect for each other. They're both excessively beautiful, smart, and cultured. I simply can't see them with anyone but each other anymore. The days of Cedric and Cho seem so far gone. Cho said it was her old boyfriend's death that was the true catalyst in her self-discovery - what really helped her to understand that she was a lesbian.

Some other acquaintances, Crabbe and Goyle, are a couple as well. But we don't even want to go there. Suffice it to say, DUH!!!

And not just my friends; my whole family is gay. To begin, there is my oldest brother, Bill. He came to Hogwarts to lecture on the Dark Arts last year, not expecting anything odd to happen. Severus Snape came to the lecture to glare at whoever was pompous enough to speak on a topic he was sure he knew more about. But one look at the speaker was all it took to make him realize that this wasn't just A Weasley, it was THE Weasley. The same look made Bill realize that Snape wasn't really a people-hater, just a very shy, very disillusioned, and very handsome man. They got drunk together, and now it's happily ever after for them, too.

My brother Charley found his heart at Hogwarts, as well. A rouge dragon flew him there, and was just about to eat him up when Hagrid, the school's gamekeeper, came to the rescue. His abnormal size allowed him to successfully fight off the rabid beast, and in gratitude, Charley flew into his arms. It didn't take them long to realize that the chaste hug was inspiring feelings within them that were definitely out of the ordinary, and as soon as they kissed, they knew why. I'm not sure if they've consummated their relationship yet (one would hope not), but they seem happy enough with each other, so I guess it doesn't matter too much.

My brothers Fred and George have an odd relationship, too. It's almost like they're one person. They were supposed to be one person - but genetics caused a tragic separation of the divided egg cell in the first days of my mother's pregnancy, so they came out as two. They have sex because when they're joined at the hip literally, they feel emotionally closer to each other than at any other time. Making love allows them to forget that they were ever two separate people. I'm not so sure of the incest thing, myself, but whatever floats your boat, ya know?

But the most dynamic relationship is probably that of my brother Percy and his boyfriend, Oliver. Percy always hated his ministry job, despite dedicating his entire life to getting it, and Oliver opened his eyes to all the other options. With his newfound-lover's help, he realized that he had the talent to make something out of his long-repressed and secret love of music, and that it was okay to have fun. He and Oliver have gone on an extended vacation to Bermuda, and won't be returning until Percy finishes his 9th symphony.

My parents are, too. Despite having had seven children with my father, my mother has always been in love with Minerva McGonagall, and my father can't keep himself from the occasional tryst with Ludo Bagman.

And all of that left only me and my dorm-mate Neville, so OF COURSE we got together. So far, we've had a great relationship. Neville really loves me, especially my eyes. He can go on about my eyes for hours. And I really admire him, too. He's so sweet, and kind, and he works so hard.

But lately, I've been thinking there might be something wrong with me. When I walk down the halls, I sometimes notice a pretty girl. In classrooms, when I'm bored, I'll suddenly find myself staring at a girl's butt. And I've always wondered what it would be like to cup a breast.

I'm feeling very scared, dairy. Is this NATUREL?? What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? I wish I had someone to talk to - anyone. I wish I could tell my parents what's going on with me. I wish I knew why I feel this way. I'm not sure of what I want anymore.

Confusedly yours,

Ronald Weasley



Author's Final Note: I'm debating writing Part II, "Coming Out!" If anyone thinks it's worth my while, please tell me! Write a review, and I'll love you forever!