*Note, I have watched changing rooms and I love it, but I figured I was writing for an American dominated crowd...but I could be wrong... JKR herself as well as all of Hogwarts is British after all.*

Pushing Buttons

Like sheep to the slaughter Snape allowed himself to be herded into the staff room. Albus was sitting at the head of a table with his normal smug smile on. "Hello Severus, Minerva." He nodded to each in turn. "Ah Rubious have a seat."

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore sir!" The big man sat in an over stuffed love seat.

"Ah, and here is our last, Sibyll, how are you?" The rhinestone covered fruit bat of a Divination teacher swept in and draped on a chair.

"As well as one can be when faced with knowing things that should not have to be anticipated." She reeked of sage and dragons blood incense.

"It has come to my attention that students are getting sick."

"Exams. The are over stressed." McGonagall shook her head.

"Yes, and I fear there is only one coarse of action to take under these extreme circumstances." Dumbledore looked terribly strict as he searched in his robes for something. "A fun mystery for our students.

"Albus, no!" Trelawney shrieked a moment before a remote was pulled from his robes. He pushed a button, pointing it in her direction. "Today on Martha Stewart we are going to uncover the art of Divining. Isn't this exciting?"

Everyone sat around speechless, then Minerva seemed to find her voice. "Albus, do you think it wise?" He replied with clicking her into a new personality. "Whew doggies, this sure is a big castle isn't it Sponge Bob?"

"First we take the tarot cards...this is so exciting...and we lay them out..." Sibyll began laying cards on the table.

Flitwick sighed. "If you really think it is for the best." He waited to be changed. "Now this town isn't big enough for the two of us so I'm a gonna count to three and then if your lily liveried self isn't outta my site I'm a gonna start shoot'en."

"You better not or I'll do some Karate on your head you little varmint." McGonagall began rolling up her sleeve.

"I've never hit a lady, luck for me you ain't one." He hauled off.

"You can tell by this card that...isn't this just so exciting?" Trelawney piped up.

Snape stopped Flitwick Eastwood from decking Minerva, then cursed to him self. She really did deserve it. "Ok, the points go to Ryan in that round. Next I want Ryan and Collin to act out the world's worse dating contestants."

Albus grinned changing a flapper gassed Poppy into Sabrina. "Oh no Salem, what am i going to do? If they find out I turned the neighbor into a lawn gnome I'm history." Her drama was added to everyone else's personal spazing.

Professor Binns looked sagely at the Headmaster. "You can't change me." But to his sudden dismay he was smiling and saying, "Hi, I'm Casper. Want to be friends?"

"Oh great, just what I need. A ghost." Poppy rolled her eyes.

Filch was slowly edging towards the exit. "Argus, your turn." Albus said happily.

"Gorsh I'm scareded. I've never beened in ah castle before with ghostes." He covered his face with his hands. "Is it goneded Phil and Lil? Tommy? Angelica?" He sent wandering off.

Satisfied with the chaos he had unleashed he turned the device on himself and pushed a button. "Bill, Bill! Bill, Bill! Bill Nye the Science Guy!" He went running off to set things on fire.



Students woke up and dressed before filing down the stairs and into the great hall. They all stopped and stared at the sight that met them upon entry. Filch was coloring on the Gryffindor table like a little kid, Dumbledore was setting his hand on fire with alcohol, and Trelawney was decoupaging flowers onto the walls.

"What's going on here?" Percy came striding in looking important. Then his mouth fell open. "Professors?"

"Oh no, they've been changed into Tele characters again." Hermione groaned.

"Fred, George, you've really done it this time." Ron looked at them in amazement. They were really mental.

Simultaneously the Weasley twins denied it. "We didn't do anything."

Snape piped up. "This is a game for everyone called if you know what I mean. If you don't know how to play, that's to bad for you. Collin start off with the phrase 'We didn't do anything' and your setting is um...jail."

"Well, we have to do something...Fast! Binns is actually smiling. It's too creepy!" Longbottom whined clutching Harry's shoulder.

"Boo!" Binns appeared and then giggled flying off humming to himself.

"Ok, let's all split up and find a remote, calculator, or something." Seamus suggested looking around nervously.

"I have this, if you think it will help..." Lavender held out her electronic diary blushing brightly.

"Do the spell." Harry handed it to George. He did it, then winced as he pointed it at Binns. "Here goes."

"Snarf! Liano, where are you going?" Binns hurried after Filch who had just gotten up from the table and taken off running, arms out in front.

They changed Filch. He began American Woman, and was suddenly dressed like Lenny Kravitz. *twitch...maybe too scary?*

Patti began to cry. "Make it stop!"

"Don't worry mayor, we'll save the city of Townsville!" He was wearing all pink and had a ponytail in his now red hair. Before anyone could recover he had run off. "Hurry Bubbles and Buttercup!"

"OK then..." Fred took the remote and hit McGonagall and Pomfrey. McGonagall had blond pigtails and was wearing blue while Pomfrey was wearing green and had short black hair.

"Hey Blossom, wait up!" They ran off also.

"Well, at least they are together." Ron shrugged. "Better get Dumbledore before he gets himself killed."

"Chim chimney chim chimney chim, chim chary a sweeper's as lucky as lucky can be, chim chimney chim chimney chim, chim charoo I does what I likes and I likes what I do." He began to sing.

"Marry Poppins? Er no. Give that here." Hermione grabbed at the pink contraption.

"Welcome Back To Who Want's To Be A Millionaire! I'm you host Regis and our contestant is Philip. Now are you ready to begin?" Dumbledore turned to Ron.

"Guess so." Ron nodded.

"Millionaire? Humph! Great job Granger." Finnigan rolled his eyes.

"D, Cheezits!" Ron said emphatically.

"Correct." Dumbledore nodded.

Next Flitwick was changed. "Thank goodness. I thought I'd be stuck as a barbarian forever." He had a hand to his heart. "Well, carry on."

"Click 'em again or move on." Draco hissed.

"Who asked you?" Hermione grumbled as she changed Snape.

He was perky, wearing spandex, and bouncing around insanely. "Come on every body and lift your leg and squat, lift and squat!" He was clicked to an new persona quickly. "Incompetent fools." He glowered, walking off. "I'll leave it to you. Don't bother me!" He pushed through the doors and was gone.

"Well, at least two are back to normal." Pansy smiled encouragingly.

Little did they know that he was muttering under his breath as he went towards his dungeons. "Robin the Hood." Snape sneered as he stalked down the hall. He stopped before two of his students. "You my room tonight 10:30 and you 10:45...bring a friend..." Then he went stomping off, robes swirling about him.

"Fayal did he just?" A tall Hufflepuff with short brown haired blinked at her curly haired friend.

"Ryn, do we have to change him back? Sheriff of Naughtingham is so cool..." Fayal gazed after him twisting a lock of red hair, then the two girls broke into laughter. "Do you think we'd get detention if we showed up?"

"Are you hoping to see him react? Blush maybe?" Ryn snickered. "Let's go. The Forbidden Forest would be worth it!" They high fived.

"Have you seen Mojo Jojo?" McGonagall ran up and asked them.

"Er...The Great Hall. Right over there." She watched her teacher run off followed by Poppy? AND FILCH?!?! "So, How about the library?" They wandered off.


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If you click up my name at the top of the page it will take you to my other stories. If you like humor and romance, try reading Hogwarts Fayal's Seventh Year a HP bk 3 companion. I love the suggestions!
7. Gillagin's Island
8. Weakest Link
4. Dragon Ball Z
14. Friends
15. Will & Grace
16. Bring it on
17. Trial and error
MTV's Jackass!
Disney Channel.
Lord of the rings!
Hikaness =the Pencil Show
1)Power Rangers
2)Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
3)Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
A-Team characters
Now everyone, feel free to submit your ideas also, so more chapters will come. I will try and use all of your ideas. Let me know if any parts suck. I originally wrote chapter 1 while I was hanging out with "Ryn" while she was at work to cheer her up. I never knew it would be such a hit!