The next day,the McMahon's had all gone home for some well earned rest.
When i say gone home i mean back to their hotel not back to the States.
Shane was left alone. Where still he stared at the ceiling. At about 10am
Shane got a visitor. A rather special visitor,it was Louise. The girl who
saved Shane's life.
"Knock,knock"
She said as she walked into Shane's ward. For the time Shane moved his head round.
"who are you?"
"I'm Louise don't you remember me. I came to see yah yesterday."
"oh"
Shane turned his head back round to look at the ceiling. Louise sat down and stared at Shane. She didn't know what to say to him.
"umm....soo....where's your family?"
Shane didn't reply to her. He didn't even move. Until about half an hour later. When he turned round and saw that Louise was still there.
"there at the hotel"
"sorry?"
"there at the hotel.that's where my family are"
"oh right.....sorry"
"so why are you in Switzerland?"Louise asked
"why do you care?"
"i was just asking."
"To get away."
"to get away from what?"
"why do you ask so many questions?"
"Sorry! i was just trying to be friendly."
"yeah and then go and laugh at me with your friends.... oh by the way have you heard....that guy on tv...Shane,he tried to kill himself."
"Not at all...i don't have any friends.....yet"
"yet?"
"yeah yet,i only came to Switzerland 2 weeks ago. I aint got any friends yet because i'm still trying to find someone who can speak english. and my German....well it's limited"
"why are you here?"
"why am i here? well....my Granma came here......on holiday and she died here......I was learning to be a paramedic at the time and.....well obviously i was upset. Sad,down,depressed... Then i found out she only died because well......there weren't enough paramedics to get to her in time. I wanted to change that. I wanted to make a difference. I know i'm only one person but my help counts. So,i decided to come over here and be a paramedic over here.and....here i am."
Shane stared at louise
"I came here to get away from my problems. It didn't work. I thought if i came here... Everything could be normal again. I could start a new life... Be free,i guess deep down i hoped that my family would sacrafice and come over here too. But it didn't work......they can't move from the States,they have a business to run. A business that i should be part of. Marissa came here,thats my wife by the way....But i couldn't tell her.....i couldn't tell her that i wanted her to stay....that i didn't want to go back with her i wanted to stay here with her. So i ended up pushing her away. I promised her i'd go back to the States with her knowing i wouldn't because i'm too scared.......i thought that by the time we leave i would have had the courage to tell i want her to stay and start again over here....but it didn't work out that way."
Shane looks at Louise.
"What problems did you have,in the States?"
"ha. Drinking,drugs....."
"I said problems Shane."
"what?...."
"Problems,drinking isn't a problem on it's own. The problem is what made you start drinking.....same with drugs."
Shane looked at Louise. No one had ever said that to him. He'd been convinced that drinking was the problem. That drugs was the problem and forgotten about the real problem.
"I don't know what the problem is."
"Well what happend? What changed your life from a perfect life to a life that absolutly sucked?"
"Cancer...."
"Cancer?"
"yeah,i had cancer....It scared me...it scared the hell out of me. It changed me completely."
"how did it change you?"
"i wasn't honest with people anymore.....i lied to people,i lied to my wife. I lied to my family....eventually i told everybody......Then i had surgery. Which got rid of it and luckily it has never returned.....but still the fear is there...."
shane begins to cry
"There's your problem..... Not the cancer. But the lies.......You've lied to your family that much.that now. When you want to tell them the truth you are affraid they won't believe you. You are affraid that no one will believe you. That they wont understand.. So you drank.........and you took drugs. To give you more confidence.....to try and help you....but the truth is it didn't. It just made a problem worst and turned one problem into 3 problems. 4 even. You tried to tell people,but it didn't work.....because your fear came true....so you had to get away. You thought if they didn't believe you once then they wouldn't again.. but they wanted to knwo the truth this time... i mean really wanted to know..... and you didn't wanna tell them because you scared of them not believing you and them judging you. So you got away from them. Hoping they'd forget about it. and hopefully come to Switzerland and be with you.....am i right?" Shane stared at Louise yet again. She was right, she was so right... eventually he answered her.
"yeah" he said
"thought so"
"how did you know?"
"well Shane maybe you aint the only person in the world that that has happened too.."
"It happened to you..?"
"yep. But not because of cancer.Because of my Grandma. Because of her death... I was so sure I could have helped. What with being a paramedic.. But people didn't believe me. So I went like you,I started to drink..i didn't leave the country though.. Ha,not everyone has the money for that kinda thing...but if I could have,I would... Looking back at it though I'm glad I didn't.. Because not going made it so much easier to face upto things,and to get sorted out...to put things right. I went to rehab,told everybody my problem..it helped.it helped a lot... I got out,went back to training and look at me now..cured.. I'm glad I came to Switzerland for all the right reasons,and not all the wrong reasons.which is what leaving the country back then would have been.... Actually,I'm surprised. You went to rehab didn't yah? So why didn't that cure you?"
"Because I lied.. I told people lies not my true problems..because I was scared of being judged. I pretended to be alright and cured to just to get out of that place."
"bad move...it could have helped you know...it could have helped a lot to be truthful... if theres one thing In life I believe in it's not quitting....which is what you did..you quit rehab...you backed out..because you didn't think you were strong enough and you are.if you want to be...everybody is judged in those places...judged by the doctors and nurses..so they can work out a plan to help you..I know I'm not famous,so I don't have a reputation to think about..but I don't think that would have stopped me..stopped me from getting my thoughts out.my true thoughts.."
"Knock,knock"
She said as she walked into Shane's ward. For the time Shane moved his head round.
"who are you?"
"I'm Louise don't you remember me. I came to see yah yesterday."
"oh"
Shane turned his head back round to look at the ceiling. Louise sat down and stared at Shane. She didn't know what to say to him.
"umm....soo....where's your family?"
Shane didn't reply to her. He didn't even move. Until about half an hour later. When he turned round and saw that Louise was still there.
"there at the hotel"
"sorry?"
"there at the hotel.that's where my family are"
"oh right.....sorry"
"so why are you in Switzerland?"Louise asked
"why do you care?"
"i was just asking."
"To get away."
"to get away from what?"
"why do you ask so many questions?"
"Sorry! i was just trying to be friendly."
"yeah and then go and laugh at me with your friends.... oh by the way have you heard....that guy on tv...Shane,he tried to kill himself."
"Not at all...i don't have any friends.....yet"
"yet?"
"yeah yet,i only came to Switzerland 2 weeks ago. I aint got any friends yet because i'm still trying to find someone who can speak english. and my German....well it's limited"
"why are you here?"
"why am i here? well....my Granma came here......on holiday and she died here......I was learning to be a paramedic at the time and.....well obviously i was upset. Sad,down,depressed... Then i found out she only died because well......there weren't enough paramedics to get to her in time. I wanted to change that. I wanted to make a difference. I know i'm only one person but my help counts. So,i decided to come over here and be a paramedic over here.and....here i am."
Shane stared at louise
"I came here to get away from my problems. It didn't work. I thought if i came here... Everything could be normal again. I could start a new life... Be free,i guess deep down i hoped that my family would sacrafice and come over here too. But it didn't work......they can't move from the States,they have a business to run. A business that i should be part of. Marissa came here,thats my wife by the way....But i couldn't tell her.....i couldn't tell her that i wanted her to stay....that i didn't want to go back with her i wanted to stay here with her. So i ended up pushing her away. I promised her i'd go back to the States with her knowing i wouldn't because i'm too scared.......i thought that by the time we leave i would have had the courage to tell i want her to stay and start again over here....but it didn't work out that way."
Shane looks at Louise.
"What problems did you have,in the States?"
"ha. Drinking,drugs....."
"I said problems Shane."
"what?...."
"Problems,drinking isn't a problem on it's own. The problem is what made you start drinking.....same with drugs."
Shane looked at Louise. No one had ever said that to him. He'd been convinced that drinking was the problem. That drugs was the problem and forgotten about the real problem.
"I don't know what the problem is."
"Well what happend? What changed your life from a perfect life to a life that absolutly sucked?"
"Cancer...."
"Cancer?"
"yeah,i had cancer....It scared me...it scared the hell out of me. It changed me completely."
"how did it change you?"
"i wasn't honest with people anymore.....i lied to people,i lied to my wife. I lied to my family....eventually i told everybody......Then i had surgery. Which got rid of it and luckily it has never returned.....but still the fear is there...."
shane begins to cry
"There's your problem..... Not the cancer. But the lies.......You've lied to your family that much.that now. When you want to tell them the truth you are affraid they won't believe you. You are affraid that no one will believe you. That they wont understand.. So you drank.........and you took drugs. To give you more confidence.....to try and help you....but the truth is it didn't. It just made a problem worst and turned one problem into 3 problems. 4 even. You tried to tell people,but it didn't work.....because your fear came true....so you had to get away. You thought if they didn't believe you once then they wouldn't again.. but they wanted to knwo the truth this time... i mean really wanted to know..... and you didn't wanna tell them because you scared of them not believing you and them judging you. So you got away from them. Hoping they'd forget about it. and hopefully come to Switzerland and be with you.....am i right?" Shane stared at Louise yet again. She was right, she was so right... eventually he answered her.
"yeah" he said
"thought so"
"how did you know?"
"well Shane maybe you aint the only person in the world that that has happened too.."
"It happened to you..?"
"yep. But not because of cancer.Because of my Grandma. Because of her death... I was so sure I could have helped. What with being a paramedic.. But people didn't believe me. So I went like you,I started to drink..i didn't leave the country though.. Ha,not everyone has the money for that kinda thing...but if I could have,I would... Looking back at it though I'm glad I didn't.. Because not going made it so much easier to face upto things,and to get sorted out...to put things right. I went to rehab,told everybody my problem..it helped.it helped a lot... I got out,went back to training and look at me now..cured.. I'm glad I came to Switzerland for all the right reasons,and not all the wrong reasons.which is what leaving the country back then would have been.... Actually,I'm surprised. You went to rehab didn't yah? So why didn't that cure you?"
"Because I lied.. I told people lies not my true problems..because I was scared of being judged. I pretended to be alright and cured to just to get out of that place."
"bad move...it could have helped you know...it could have helped a lot to be truthful... if theres one thing In life I believe in it's not quitting....which is what you did..you quit rehab...you backed out..because you didn't think you were strong enough and you are.if you want to be...everybody is judged in those places...judged by the doctors and nurses..so they can work out a plan to help you..I know I'm not famous,so I don't have a reputation to think about..but I don't think that would have stopped me..stopped me from getting my thoughts out.my true thoughts.."
