title: lykanthrophobia
by: earthenkynder
rating: pg-13, for some really light swearing in the beginning, i just want to be safe.
disclaimer: all these characters belong to the goddess j.k. rowling. if they were mine, i wouldn't be sharing them with you ;)
a/n: i know that this will be a snape/lupin fic eventually (sorry if that squicks you, but consider yourself warned) but i'm not exactly sure where it's going. i couldn't find an actual phobia of werewolves, but the original phobias came from greek, so i just made one up using a greek-english dictionary. anyway, enjoy, and please r&r.
~*~*~*~
prologue
october, 1977
Severus sat at the head of his bead with his arms wrapped around his drawn up legs. Despite the pleasant temperature of the dungeons in early autumn months, Severus was trembling uncontrollably. Though there were no windows in the Slytherin dormitories, he knew that there was a full moon out tonight. Sitting there shivering in the pitch darkness, he couldn't help but let his mind wander to the events of the past month.
~*~
Feet pounding the ground, breath coming short, racing through the narrow tunnel with hell coming up behind him. He could hear the thing's light footfalls, smell it's musk fill the air, feel the heat radiating from the hellhound behind him.
Small whimpers escaped his mouth, and he ran through the utter blackness of the tunnel with his arms held out in front of him, praying he could find the end. But then, this is the end, isn't it? I'm never going to make it out. I'm going to die, right here, ripped to bits… He ran faster. And he thought he could almost feel the tunnel stretching, making itself longer to mock him, when…
"Oomph!" He had tripped on something, perhaps a root. But that didn't matter, because the thing had caught him, he could feel it looming above him, it's stale breath washing over him…
"Stupefy!" And it was gone, with a howl and a thump some distance away, and he was safe. Then strong hands grabbing him by the arms, lifting him, and he noticed for the first time the moonlight streaming from the opening he was being lifted through. And he was out, and the dark haired boy who had saved him was dragging him away, and the chubby blonde pressing a stick into the tree let go and ran. The willow caught him on the backside with one of it's whip-like vines, and he squeaked and scampered away from it. Leaning against the castle wall in the distance, he could make out a dark form with long black hair and a scowling face. But none of it mattered. The second James let go of him he had collapsed. Completely. Into a sobbing, trembling ball of cold, clammy skin; dark, sweat soaked hair; and black robes.
*
"Why?"
"Severus…"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Remus paused, so obviously struggling with his words. "Severus, I never meant for that to-"
"WHY?" he roared. The entire hall hesitated, their breakfasts temporarily forgotten. Remus looked around, stood, and walked out of the Great Hall, Severus following closely behind. Once they were out and a considerable distance down the halls, Severus stepped in front of Remus, and maneuvered so that he had him pinned against the wall without actually touching him. He leaned in and whispered quietly in Remus's ear "Why didn't you tell me?"
Remus's breath caught in his throat, and he slowly replied "I didn't actually tell anyone…"
"You told Potter. And Black. And Pettigrew. Why not me?"
"They found out on their own-"
"I thought we were best friends. I thought we shared everything. There's not one thing about me you don't know, and I thought I knew everything about you, too. Ha. Guess I was wrong."
"Severus, please…" Remus pleaded, and whined softly, a sound that Snape, in all their years of friendship, had never heard him make.
Snape's eyes widened, and he took a step back, his breath coming quicker. That sound…he could almost smell a feral musk hanging in the air, feel a presence looming behind him, it's breath on his back…
"Severus?"
"Don't…"
Remus reached out to steady the pale boy in front of him, who was getting rapidly paler.
"Don't touch me!" Severus screeched, jumping away from his friend's hand. "Stay away from me!"
"Severus…"
"Don't ever, ever come near me again…" Severus was backing up very quickly. "You're filthy. I hate you."
Remus froze, his best friend's words ringing in his ears. You're filthy. I hate you. You're filthy…
Severus took this opportunity to bolt, running down the hallway towards the dungeons.
Remus slowly stumbled backwards until his back thumped against the wall. Sliding down to the floor, his mind raced. Most people thought that James was his best friend. Others thought it was Sirius. But they were wrong. Severus. Severus was his other half. Without him… without Severus… Tears slid silently down Remus's face as he buried it in his hands, sobbing quietly in the corridor until breakfast was finished, and people streamed past him, whispering and pointing. He didn't care. He didn't move until the halls had emptied and Professor Dumbledore came and, with an unusual show of strength, picked up the still sobbing Remus in his arms and carried him to his office for tea and a very long talk.
~*~
Severus shivered and drew his legs up tighter. It was a full moon tonight. And if he listened very closely, he thought he could hear a wolf howling in the distance…
