Everything had been going smoothly in the little house with the white picket fence and the birdhouse in the back. To tell you quite frankly, one would have guessed that everything was completely normal and uniform. Yet alas, you have been deceived for in such little plain house with it's white picket fence, there now dwelt two men, one elf, four hobbits, and one dwarf, and two lovely girls.
Everything though orderly in look had been breaking down in the house. It had all started when Sam came down wearing Trisana's purple ducky pajamas since he'd left his at home. Trisana, beyond the brink of infuriation, ran around the house like a mad poodle until he agreed to change. After that small interruption, the fellowship agreed to watch a movie. They settled down to watch the three tiresome hours of "Titanic" only because Gandalf and Boromir as well as Ariel found it great fun to watch the poor Sam cry when Jack went down. Their sardonic grins filled him with hatred and he fell about in pitiful fells of disheartening spasms. After those three hours of his boorish attempts to draw attention and be comforted, which obviously failed, he sat up and they plugged in another movie.
This time that movie was Fievel Goes West. Then, midway through, the fellowship became annoyed by Fievel's intoxicated mousy squeaks and felt their corrupted minds go bland from the childish movie. They plugged in yet another movie and this time they were captivated by it. Yes, if you have not thought of that movie by now then shame on you and my you rot and burn in the ninth level of inferno for it was the one, the only, Walt Disney production of Lewis Carroll's wonderful masterpiece of "Alice and Wonderland."
Ariel was bouncing up in down in bliss for she could not contain her dull and subdued mind any longer. Then came the humming of some great poem or other and she could not resist temptation. She drew herself up high and tall and in a singsong sort of altercated voice she gave a great heave as from her mouth, she came up with the fitful words that marked their place in the poem:
How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail,
And pore the waters of the Nile on every golden scale,
How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neat he spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws.
After watching movies all day, they decided to introduce the high tech world of fine arts. This basically included their wonderful computer that they were intelligent enough to remember how to turn on. It was an amazing thing, the thought that they could remember how to turn the computer on rather than the high tech advantage of the actual computer. This amazed the fellowship. When they started to talk to strange people on the chatrooms, they were even more amazed that Ariel and Trisana actually knew how to get on them more then the fact that chatrooms existed.
After that inspiring adventure of being introduced to the computer, the fellowship made their way for the fifth time that day, to the kitchen with white tile floors. There, they obviously ate, drank and were merry for the next day, who knows, they could not be able to eat drink and be merry. The day basically passed uneventfully with little interruption from anyone outside or inside. Well, that is besides having Merry and Pippin begin attacking the neighbor's riding lawnmower. Also, Boromir did attempt to bash a car window in with a bat because it was playing inappropriate garbage.
"Oh," replied Ariel, "that was probably rap music like lil bow wow." Then she though on.
"No," she said at last, "it was most likely a classical piece, probably Benny Goodman or Mozart or the sugar plum fairy." Not that Benny Goodman is any way related to Mozart or the sugarplum Fairy but Ariel did not care.
(Now, they were running out of activities to do and frankly, the writer is getting mighty bored of writing about nothing so she will undoubtedly through in a plot that regards nothing of major importance to anything related to anything in particular. This plot she is thinking of at this moment and alas, she has come up with nothing but still, nothing is a place that can be contradicted over and over beyond the point that no one would wish to hear more of the issue. So, we shall work off from the idea that is void in the writer's mind and see what will become, shall we?)
"Oh my! Good Golly! Je Wiz!" cried Trisana as she ransacked her closet to find something. She had not taken back her original form and had not found any clothes that fit her slim figure. Ariel was having the opposite problem. There seemed to be no clothes that fit her pitifully corpulent figure.
"By George! By Jimminy! Not a thing is fitting!" they said in unison as they threw more clothing onto the already messy floor. They had not cleaned their room since they had left to join the fellowship on a sudden wild whim that no one truly knows why or how it happened. In fact, they had not cleaned their room even before they had suddenly dropped onto middle earth on their heads. Now they were facing a large pile of clothing and a bed that had not been made and smelled of mothballs and cabbage. It was truly not a sight or smell that one would want to become accustomed to or encounter.
"I say! We must go back to be rid of this disturbing figure that someone has bestowed on us!" Ariel cried in mock horror as she gazed into the mirror to realize that her waist no longer fit into a size 1 in juniors. Trisana was now able to fit in a size one, which truly annoyed Ariel even more.
Ariel had also shrunken if that was possible. For you see, Ariel was always short to begin with so any more height loss would have classified her as a midget not that being a midget is bad, she reflected many times this matter to herself. But now, she was truly feeling the loss of dignity as well as her small height loss.
Trisana, who was always fairly tall, had her self-esteem augmented. She was taller, slightly thinner, and her hair was as black and silky as ever. She was beautiful and ravishing. The exact type of person that one, such as Ariel, would like to scorn and hate and envy.
But that is now not of any importance for now, just as they were obsessing about their idle lives of dress style and the works, there burst through the door a man dressed in full body armor astride a great leopard spotted appaloosa gelding (basically for unhorsie people, this means a spotted horse that had his testicles chopped off). No one quite knows why he was on a leopard spotted appaloosa as oppose to a great white steed that had not been gelded but we shan't ever know or may indeed, not truly care.
"I am an orc! I am here to take two damsels hostage and hold them until they are rescued by their night in shining armor," he cried in a singsong voice that floated over both of them in a magical mysterious way. His face was lit like he had an elvish air to him and his eyes were deep and shining. In his right arm he held a black leather like case with five letters inscribed in it. It read BUNDY.
"Hey! That's mine! You give that back you overgrown weasel snot brain!" cried Ariel as she realized that this adorably handsome dashing orc had stolen her clarinet case, not that she really cared at all about her clarinet or her case.
"Nay!" the orc spoke firmly, "you will come with me. You will be held in the tower of Orthanc and await the order of Saruman."
"Umm," Trisana thought to herself as she saw that he serious about this whole matter, "well, why are you telling us about what you are going to do instead of just doing it?"
The orc made no response but indicated that this was the plot line. Both Trisana and Ariel nodded in agreement when they understood this. Then, five seconds later, the dashing orc had them hog tied and thrown roughly over the pommel of his saddle. He clicked to his horse and off they went to the tower of Orthanc where they were hoping against hope, not to be rescued for this orc was extremely pleasing to the eye.
Gimli came into the little room that the girls had just been in only to find it extremely messy, disorganized and without Ariel and Trisana in it. A note was placed on the bed. It read;
"We are kidnapped and going to the tower of Orthanc where we will be held prisoner. Feel free to come rescue us any time but no hurry honestly."
Gimli began running around like a mad lunatic for a while until he realized that running around like a mad lunatic would not work. So he cut to the chase and informed everyone that the two girls, Ariel and Trisana had been taken hostage by a dashing orc and were well on their way to the dark tower where they would be imprisoned till rescued by the fellowship. No one really cared since the girls did need a few lessons in behavioral issues and a good time in the cell would do them quite nicely. Gimli thought about this and agreed. They settled down now to watch Thumbalina.
Please put some constructive criticism in here or at least tell me what you think or even to tell me that you read it. Well, that's all I have to say, next chapter is coming soon and if no one reviews, it'll be one of the last before I kill everyone! Well, that's all for now. Bye bye!
