The fellowship had been channel surfing ever since Trisana and Ariel left. So far, they had watched Jerry Springer, the Rugrats, The Discovery Channel, and Rocky and Bulwinkle. Everyone liked Rocky and Bulwinkle the best only because it's the best cartoon in the world. Then, when that ended to everyone's disappointment as all shows do have to end, they found Sesame street and Sam finally learned how to count to 10. They also were able to watch MTV, which was parentally blocked for some odd reason.
Then, after their long hard day of snoozing on the couch without much worry or care besides the fact that Sam had farted on the cushions so nobody could sit on the sofa any longer, things were going slowly. A bit too slowly as a matter of fact. They decided to explore the world that at one point, they felt like they were imprisoned in.
It was of course an odd sight to see nine strange males who weren't quite from around earth come striding along the sidewalk.
And finally, after about an hour or so of walking, they struck gold.
"Oh! It's beautiful," they all cried in unison. They had stumbled upon a mall! They all rushed in like mad psychotic men only to find that nothing good was in the mall. Spencers was actually pretty fun for all of them. They gazed mystified at the flashing lights that dotted the small closed in area. Sam began to hyperventilate and keel over from looking at the strobe light for far too long and Frodo was busy flirting with the cashier. Boromir and Legolas ventured into Victoria's Secret's and found a perfect D thirty-two for Sam.
Aragorn came upon a store so wonderful that all he could do was gasp.
" 'Tis Toys R Us!" he looked at all the others in agreement and they entered into this unknown realm until they were again kicked for foul play with the scooters. Dejectedly, they walked now from the mall to stumble upon the last finding of their long quest. It was not the weathervane this time even though Merry and Pippin found they looked ravishing in shirt shorts with a number imprinted across their chest and six 5 'short' flared pants.
It was chucky cheeses. They had seen commercials on before illustrating the fun and excitement that those children would have when playing games.
"It's where a kid can be a kid!" quoted an oversized, obese, and frightening gray mouse.
The fellowship entered into this unknown place as the last leg of their journey. Gandalf was still upset that Spencers had no good pornography in stock and Frodo was still debating whether he should have given the cashier his telephone number since he didn't have a telephone to begin with. Sam was busy admiring all the little kids playing in the ball pit.
"What a little pedophile!" this thought echoed through the company as Sam began to drool.
Boromir was angered that he didn't get the strapless bra for Legolas since he'd run out of money and Aragorn was upset because he still needed to pee very badly and couldn't figure out how to use the urinal. So, the distressed fellowship strode into Chucky Cheeses and began to join in with the crowd.
"Oh! Sam," cried Frodo as he leapt into the ball pit with perfect form, "look! This is so exciting. If feel so alive for once with so much energy. No longer thin and stretched. Oh boy! I'm alive awake alert and enthusiastic!"
Sam climbed up the ladder that led to the slide that lead to the ball pit.
"I'm coming to save you master Frodo!" he cried and began to slide down the seemingly endless slide. Actually it was only a few feet to the bottom but alas! Poor Sam did not make it.
"I am stuck! I am stuck! Help me dear Frodo for I can not move! Oh my! I can not feel my feet, hurry master, please don't leave me to be eaten by these rabid children!"
Frodo did not hear Sam unfortunately because he was once again, at the prize booth flirting with the girl behind the desk. She gave him a chucky cheese shirt so that he would leave her alone. He greatly excepted this but did not leave her alone till Legolas had a bit of an outburst with a man.
"Don't come any nearer, evil fiend! Do not venture forth least you wish to taste my wrath!" Legolas cried at the man who was dressed as an obese, obtuse, and extremely hairy mouse. Well, all mice have hair so it's the norm for mice to have hair so forget my last description of the overweight under appreciated mouse.
Legolas drew his bow in apprehension. He aimed his arrow directly at the heart of the great grey freak and closed one eye. The man or mouse did not move at all. Legolas took a step back and still the mouse did not budge. He relaxed a bit on the string and this is when the mouse tried to throw himself onto the floor.
"Don't shoot!" cried Frodo coming jumping out of the ball area and tripping over them as he ran. Stuff seemed to happen in slow motion. The mouse, heart racing, threw himself at Legolas to get out of range of the bow. Legolas stepped back again and took aim. His fingered slowly inched off the string as Frodo came up behind him to tackle him from behind. Legolas let go and the arrow flew by the mouse and buried itself into Gandalf's bottom end.
Frodo and the obese mouse collided for Legolas, being the swift moving elf he is, stepped quickly to the side. It was at that moment that the police showed up to arrest Legolas and to take care of poor Gandalf, who was now trying to get the girl behind the counter to look at his wound. When she wouldn't, he asked the man. He did so gladly until the ambulance showed up to take over.
"Just remember!" Frodo remembered hearing Ariel say on her note. He could almost feel it in his hands as he was swept away by a title wave of angry parents and a mob of policemen, "the guys in white coats are friends."
Frodo took that advice and followed the pushy policemen and was brought abruptly to a host of more angry men. It was then that another outburst was aroused by someone else.
Boromir had been introduced to another evil fiend. The wack-o'-moles. He had grabbed the club that hung besides the stand and was now beating the little plastic moles with all his strength. The moles continually tricked him and he grew impatient. He took his sword and slashed it through the machine with all his might. Springs and many odd assortments of wire flew all about and hubbub once again broke out.
The policemen also bade him to come with them. He went willingly for he did not know what more evil could be upon the evil contraption that he had just outsmarted.
Sam, still being stuck in the slide that led to the ball pit, was also told he was under arrest. Of course, they had to bring a crane in to get him out of the ball pit. This cost chucky cheese a major lot of money and they went bankrupt for a series of months.
Yet, with their inexplicable desire for a cheese monopoly over the world of entertainment and fine arts, they were able to slide their dept into the K Mart Corporation.
This consisted of seducing the major business cooperate executive and the chairmen of the board that represented the company. That is why, ladies and gentlemen, that K Mart is now going bankrupt, all because of Sam getting stuck in the slide and having a crane come to pull him out. This cost the company, literally billions of dollars in finance. Chucky Cheese, also as we have said, the entertainment monopoly of the world, also had to cover up any slips of mouth from person to person by bribing the iching palm of the media and brain washing the parents and children. Other then that, no more can be said on the issue. If word gets out and they found out that this strange unknown writer by the code name of deep throat was still not brain washed, they would surely have one's head. Do keep this secret please!
Anyway, ya, that's about it. If no one reviews then this shall be the last chappie. And I mean, THE LAST CHAPPIE. Some people don't understand it when I say vertially the last chappie so shall I repeat once again? IT'S THE LAST CHAPPIE IF NO ONE, NOT EVEN ONE PERSON REVIEWS. God damn it! Do review gosh darn it! I'm changing the title to see if anyone else is interested. Anyway, please tell me if you spent your lovely time brooding over my work. I love the word brooding! Anyway, that's about it. I'll give this a week and if no one reviews, I will kill every single person here, yes, even Legolas so do be helpful and press the freakin' button that says 'post [a f***ing] review'. I am down on my knees people so you better review pretty please with sugar on top!
