Get Back: Portrait of An Apology
By Alyssa
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.
Note:The first part of the Title is the name of a Beatles song. The second part is from Jars of Clay, I liked it so I decided to use it. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.

Previously: Jing Mei is worried about Dave, Dave continues to meet his father, he also met with the DA about his case against Mr. Mason.

Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)

Luka and Carter stayed in the exam room after Dave stormed out. They sat in silence, trying to make sense of what just happened.
"What do you think?" Carter asked Luka after a while.
"I don't know." Luka responded, "I do not understand him."
Carter nodded his agreement. "What should we do?" he asked. Luka sighed and met his eyes. "I don't know if it is our place to do anything."
"I know someone who might be able to calm him down. Why don't you go tell Kerry what happened." Carter suggested. Carter wandered off to find Jing Mei.

~~~
Can you stay for a while
Try to imagine this
Could you be for a while
I can't remember it
Could you fall for a while
'Cause I can't escape from this
~~~

"Hey Jing Mei." Carter said, gently pulling her aside.
"What is it Carter?" She asked a little impatiently. She had a lot to do before she got off in an hour.
"It's about Dave, I thought you might like to know." he continued.
"Why? What happened?" She asked, suddenly forgetting everything else.
"I don't really know. Me and Luka tried to be nice and take him to the cafeteria. When we got there he saw his dad with Kerry and freaked out. We had to take him back here to calm him down. He was so bad for a while that I thought we might have to sedate him. All he would say was that Ray was lying to Kerry and that he wanted to kill him."
Jing Mei tried to digest this information. She was begining to wonder herself if Dave was just a little paranoid. To tell the truth she was getting more than a little annoyed. Though Dave had opened up to her before, he only told her a few of the facts. She was beginning to feel like she was being used. Dave only talked to her when he wanted to, and would only tell her small amounts of information and then shut down.
"Thanks Carter." She muttered as she walked away.

~~~
Can you stay for a while
Try to imagine this
Could you be for a while
I can't remember it
Could you fall for a while
'Cause I can't escape from this
~~~


The knocking came quick and persistant on his door. Dave groaned loudly as he sluggishly rolled off the couch. The sleeping pills had taken their effect on him, and the 5 beers he swallowed them down with hadn't worn off yet. The TV was still on, but his show had long been over. He stumbled towards the door, trying to focus his blurry eyes. He looked through the peephole and barely made out Jing Mei. He unlocked the door slowly. Jing Mei burst through the door and into his apartment.
"Dave, I want to know right now what is going on!" She demanded. He was a mess, and obviously under the influence of something. She was beginning to worry about him more than ever. She could see a bunch of empty beer cans and such like littering the floor. His apartment looked like it hadn't been cleaned in ages.
Dave still hadn't quite waken, or sobered, up; he couldn't think and he wasn't even sure if this was real.
"What do you want to know?" He asked, needing clarification.
"Dave, I'm trying to help you! Right now I don't understand what is happening, and the harder I try to help, the worst off I become." She was on a roll and not about to stop. She saw Dave and began to feel compasionate, but pushed it aside again. "I want to help you, but if you keep pushing me away I'm not going to sacrifice myself for a lost cause! So what I want to know, right now, is what's happening between you and your father. If you won't tell me, I'm going to ask him myself!" She took a deep breath and tried to slow her breathing. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

Dave continued to stare at her. He was startled at what she just said. He had no idea she felt that way, and he certainly didn't want her to talk to Ray. He still couldn't think right, and dropped himself on a stool by the bar of his kitchen.

"I didn't know you felt that way." He muttered.
"Well, I do." Jing Mei answered, biting her tongue to hold back other comments she had in mind. She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, but she knew it wasn't the time for either of them. She waited to give Dave a chance to talk.
"I don't know what to tell you, about me a Ray I mean. I've already told you more than I've ever told anyone else before. So many things have happened, and not a single one of them was good. It isn't easy for me to talk about it." Dave started, struggling to articulate his thoughts.

"Life isn't easy, Dave." Jing Mei countered, as if he didn't know. "Why do you think Ray is lying to Kerry?" She asked
"He lies to everyone. He tells them anything that will make him feel better about himself. He wants to make everyone like him and feel sorry for him."
"Obviously he is a creep. Get rid of him, Dave! Don't let him back into your life! Kerry will forget about him, in time. You've worked so hard to become a doctor, don't throw it away, especially on someone who will never love you. He's poison Dave!" Jing Mei suggested futively, Dave was already shaking his head.
"He's my father, and he is all I have left." Dave answered gently.
"Step father, Dave." Jing Mei corrected.
"Everyone else has left me Jing Mei. You don't seem to understand! Parents don't leave their children, but mine left me. Everyone leaves." Dave painfully explained. He wanted to add his fears of her leaving, but didn't dare voice them.

The silence hit Jing Mei as hard as any blow could have.The statement was so ludicrise and so absurdly simple, yet a certain childlike understanding clung to it. She wasn't able to think, let alone respond.
"I've tried so hard to forget my past." Dave started again, "I wanted, and thought, I had put it behind me. But as long as he is around it keeps resurfacing. As much as I want him out of my life, the thought of having no one scares me more. Maybe he's right, maye everything was my fault."
"Talk to me Dave, please!" Jing Mei pleaded.
"I wish I could Jing, you don't know how much I wish I could. There is so much I want to say, but I can't. I'm sorry." Dave said with tears welling up in his eyes.

"I know that Dave. But I don't know what I am supposed to do! I've never been in this situation before, and I don't know if I can handle it. What am I supposed to do?" Jing Mei asked tiredly.
"Just promise me," Dave answered, turning his big brown eyes to look up at her. "Promise me you won't go talk to Ray." Jing Mei stared down at him, and all at once she saw all the pain, and torture, and suffering that encompased him. She nodded. She wanted to look into those eyes all night. She wanted to hold and comfort him; tell him she would never leave. Instead she nodded.
"Ok Dave. I won't go talk to Ray, but I've really got to leave." With that she flung herself across the room and out the door.

~~~
Look what I've done
This picture I've painted
It looks like my heart
Or what still remains
Convinced of the weight
Your interpretations
Are not what I see
I wish they could be


'Cause I remember it much redder
And I remember it much brighter
~~~

Jing Mei jumped into the driver seat of her car and sped away. Quickly putting as much distance between her and the main source of pain in her life. She felt the adrenaline rush as the car went faster and faster. She wanted to dump all her problems on someone else, just as Dave had dumped all his upon her. She abruptly changed course and headed towards Elizabeth's house. Elizabeth cared enough about Dave to listen to Jing Mei explain her situation.

As Jing Mei parked on the side of the street she dashed up towards the house. She rang the doorbell once and waited. A minute later there was still no answer so she rang it again. Soon a robed Elizabeth opened the door. "My G_d Jing Mei! What on earth are you doing here so late? Elizabeth yawned.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Jine Mei asked.
"No, that's ok. Come on in, Mark is away tonight." Elizabeth said, turning around to leave the doorway.

Jing Mei entered and followed Elizabeth to the couch. "You have such a nice house." Jing Mei commented politely.
"You didn't come here to admire my house." Elizabeth smiled, "Tell me what's wrong."
"It's Dave, I just don't know what to do with him." Jing Mei blurted out. Elizabeth considered this silently, then looked back waiting to receive more information.
"He keeps blowing up about Ray, but he won't explain anything." Jing Mei felt the tears welling up in her eyes begin to over flow. "I don't know what to do! Part of me wants to run away and protect myself, but whenever he looks at me with that look in his eyes..." Jing Mei choked back a sob, "Or whenever he says something so sad, and so truthfully.." She wasn't able to finish her sentence, but Elizabeth understood. Elizabeth scooted closer and wrapped her arms about Jing Mei. With that simple motion Jing Mei broke down. Her tears kept flooding down, drenching her shirt and Elizabeth's.

~~~
Try to explain
The way that the frame
Doesn't quite fit the image
Or surround the edge
It stands on display
What do you see
Behold all the new grey
What's become of the old me

'Cause I remember it much redder
And I remember it much brighter
~~~

Dave walked into the ER for what seemed like the millionth time that week, he felt so old and tired. As he walked towards the desk, Randi caught his attention. "Dave." Randi called, motioning for him to come closer. When he was close enough to satisfy her, Randi began to talk softly. "Ray is in the lounge waiting for you." She started, then checked over her shoulders. "He's really drunk." she warned.

Dave turned without acknowledging her. Something about Ray coming in the ER drunk, enraged him. Of course it wasn't a surprise, he had expected it. Somewhere deep in his subconcious he had expected it. It reminded Dave of his childhood, Ray would show up where ever Dave was and humilate him in front of his friends. If he showed up drunk it was a pretty good hint; Dave was in for a beating. He allowed his hands clench into a fist and his blood run cold. This had gone too far, and he was finally going to do what Jing Mei had suggested. He no longer cared what would happen, or what the consequences would be, he just wanted to end it.

He burst through the door to see Ray already advancing on him. "Well, the son-of-a-b*tch finally decided to show up." His words were slurred but Dave could still understand him. As Ray got closer, Dave waited for the last minute to slide to the side, causing Ray to slam into the door. "Your mother died 20 years ago today." Ray pointed out.
G-d, this is been the first year Dave had forgotten the anniversary of his mother's death.

As Ray started after him again, Dave found he had nudged himself into a corner. "You killed your mother you know." Ray spat venomously. "You killed her you son-of-a-bitch." The first blow came fast, faster than Dave would have expected, given Ray's condition, and landed neatly on his jaw. Pain shot up the whole side of Dave's face. The pain was so intense he barely felt the next hit which landed on his eye. "What are you some kind of a sissy?" Ray taunted, when he realized Dave wouldn't defend himself. "That stuff in Juvy must have really turned you queer."

Dave didn't want to fight Ray, but when he mentioned juvy hall something inside Dave snapped and he lost control. Suddenly he lurched forward, pushing Ray backwards. Somehow Ray had stayed on his feet, but was stunned enough to willingly accept the punch Dave threw at his stomach. Ray doubled over and fell to his knees, shocked by his stepson's strength. Ray looked up to see Dave's enraged face, as Dave prepared for another blow. Rat could see the crazed look in Dave's eyes, and was amused for a moment that Dave was turning into a younger versoin of himself.
"Dave!" Kerry's voice cut loud and crisp through the haze that had overtaken Dave's mind. Dave turned to see Kerry and Carter standing in the doorway. "What do you think you are doing Dave?" Kerry demanded.
"Dave, let him go. You don't want to do this." Carter urged.
"I was defending myself." Dave said weakly, realizing how it must looked.
"You just hit your father! And in my ER too!" Kerry fixed her eyes keenly on Dave, and Dave stared back fiercely. "I think you should go Dave. And don't come back for a while either." Kerry commanded while trying to make her way towards Ray.
"He punched me. He's crazy, you saw how he attacked me." Ray slurred. Dave pushed himself past Carter and out the door.


~~~
Can you stay for a while
Calling, crying, ashamed of what I am not
Really failing, falling into this cage and I can't escape
No, I can't escape
No, I can't
~~~


Dave went straight to the bathroom. He had dropped his coat in the lounge and there was no way he could make it home without it. He paced back and forth around the bathroom, trying to stall before going back to the lounge to retrieve his coat. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened behind him. Benton walked in and appeared very stunned to see Dave. The hit to Dave's eye had made a small cut and blood was now running down the side of his face.
"What happened?" Benton asked.
"Nothing." Dave muttered, prepared now to leave without his coat.
"Dave, let me take a look at that." Benton commanded.
"I'm leaving." Dave answered.
"Dave, I'll just take you to an exam room, make sure there is no optic nerve damage, stitch you up, and you will be on your way. Despite Dave'e bravado the threat of nerve damage scared him, so he reluctantly followed Benton to a room.
Benton was curious as to what had happened to Dave, but did not consider asking. He could see the absolute rage on Dave's face. Benton was concerned about him; not that he liked Dave exactly, but Benton could tell that Dave was on the edge and someone needed to help him before he fell over. Perhaps he could calm Dave down before anything else happened.

~~~
So look what I've done
Picture I've painted
Doesn't quite fit
Or surround the edge
But I remember it much redder
~~~

Kerry led Ray to a quiet room and sat him on a bed. "It's the anniversary of my wifes death," Ray explained, "I know I shouldn't have gone drinking, but I was just so sad. I came here to see Dave, but he attacked me." Ray spurted quickly.
"Why don't you sit here and get your rest?" Kerry asked, walking out of the room. She walked up to where Randi was sitting at the admit desk.
"Randi, have you seen Dave." she asked.
"Benton took him into an exam room 2, he was bleeding." Randi said a little suspiciously. "I don't think you should go in there." She added.
"When I want you opinoin, Randi, I'll ask for it." Kerry spat, starting to hobble towards the room.

As she burst through the door she surprised Benton, who then jerked on the stitch he was stitching, causing Dave to wince. "As soon as you are done here, I don't want to see you for a week." Kerry yelled at Dave. "I can't believe you would do this to your father on the anniversary of her death. I thought I knew you Dave, but I guess I don't. Your father needs you, especially today of all days. G_d, I expected more from you. While you're gone, perhaps you should look into some more counceling." She looked at him and shook her head in disgust. "Don't come back for a week." She repeated and exited the room.

When she had left Benton looked down at Dave. "What was all that about?" he asked.
"Are you almost done?" Dave said in reply.
"One more." Benton mumbled, retreating from his question. As Benton finished the last stitch Dave quickly got up and headed out the door. Benton followed him into the hall and watched as Dave approached the emergency bay enterance.
"Dave you are going to freeze out there!" Benton called. Dave waved off the comment and continued out.

~~~
Can you stay for a while
Calling, crying, ashamed of what I am not
Really failing, falling into this cage and I can't escape
No, I can't escape
No, I can't
~~~

Dave had just entered the apartment when the telephone rang. Dave's hands were numb from the cold, and he had a hard time picking up the phone. Sampson quickly told Dave that the pretrail had been set for later in the week, and explained that Dave didn't have to go. Dave told him he would, he wasn't going to work anyway.


I can't escape...