Get Back: Fade
By Alyssa
Disclaimer: "I, Alyssa, do solemnly swear…." Turns briefly to look behind her at the man holding a gun to her back. She clears her throat and continues, "That I do not own any of the characters from the hit show 'ER'." Apparently having finished her job she feels the pressure of the barrel leaving her back.
The first part of the Title is a name of Beatles Song. The second part is from a Staind song. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.
Previously:
Dave has been in court, and things are going a little shaky. Jing Mei tried to rescue him from drinking into oblivion, and Benton tried to round up supporters.
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)
There may be a little swearing, but not much.
Jing-Mei could feel reality trying to get its grip on her. Her mind continued to fight for sleep, but it was a losing battle. Reluctantly Jing-Mei cracked open her eyes. Where was she? Oh, Dave's apartment. She was so tired. After putting Dave to bed last night, she stayed up for several hours just thinking about him. There was so much that she didn't know, so much he was hiding. She wondered if she would ever find out everything; probably not.
Had they done anything? No. Not that she hadn't wanted to. God, she wanted him last night, but she knew it wasn't the time. When it happened she wanted it to be special. Jing-Mei was still fighting the fogginess left over from her night on the couch. There was something she was forgetting. Definitely something. Her brain whined in protest as she tried to conjure up what it could possibly be.
The Trial!
She rushed to Dave's room and thrust the sheets to the floor. It was 9:00; he had to get up.
"Dave, come on! You have to get ready!" Jing-Mei commanded. Dave muttered something along the lines of 'go away'.
"Dave, I'm serious!" Jing-Mei started to tug on his arm now. She managed to drag his body far enough so that it hung precariously over the edge of the bed. Dave's torso was now completely off the bed, and he began to awaken.
"You have to go take a shower! And quickly!" she demanded. Dave muttered something about her being bossy and related her to Weaver. He stumbled his way towards the bathroom.
Jing-Mei waited outside the door, glancing periodically from her watch to the bathroom door. He was cutting it close; he had to finish up quickly. Jing-Mei pounded on the door. "Come on Dave! Hurry up!"
"Be quiet my head hurts!" he whimpered from the bathroom. Suddenly the water shut off and Jing-Mei could hear him being sick. He groaned as he opened the door and came out in his boxers and shirt. Jing-Mei frowned; she could still smell some alcohol.
"Come here." She said softly taking his hand in hers. She went into his bathroom and searched until she found an almost empty shampoo bottle. She filled it up with water and began to shake it.
"What are you doing?" Dave asked as he sat heavily onto the toilet seat. It was the first time this morning that he was able to gather his thoughts into the form of a question.
"Here, get back in the shower and pour this over your body. Let it dry; instant perfumed water." Jing-Mei scurried quickly out of the bathroom. "And hurry!" She added as she shut the door.
~~~
Jing-Mei gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were turning white. If the traffic cooperated, they should be able to get there on time. Dave was lying down with the seat pushed back as far as it could go, and he looked like he was sleeping. Even in his current condition, he was incredibly handsome and sexy. Jing-Mei took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She was comforted in the fact that even if things went wrong today, everything would still be alright. Dave wasn't the one on trial, she reasoned. Even if Mr. Mason went free, everything would be all right, right?
Jing-Mei watched as the courthouse came into view. Hopefully, today would be the last day she'd have to come here. She quickly pulled into a parking space. She reached over and shook his knee. "Dave, wake up."
"No," he moaned.
"Come on. You have to testify," she said sternly.
Dave opened his eyes and looked at her. "Do you care about me?"
"Yeah…yes," she stuttered.
"If you do, you'll drive me away from here."
"Dave, I know you're nervous, but it will be okay. Just tell the truth," she said, smiling softly at him.
"I can't tell the truth, Jing-Mei," he said rubbing his temples.
"Why?" she asked, suddenly startled. Was he hiding something else from her?
"If I do, it will destroy me," he said sadly.
She looked at him for a minute. "Dave, if you really want to leave. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. But you can't always run away from things." she said.
"I've been running all my life, Jing-Mei. I don't know if I can stop now," he said, his voice catching in his throat.
"You have to Dave. If you don't you'll never be able to be happy."
"You're right," he sighed, closing his eyes again. "I'm just so tired."
She wondered briefly if he meant from his life or the alcohol. She didn't know what to do, or what to say. He needed to hear something comforting, or maybe just brutally honest. Maybe he needed sympathy, or empathy. He just needed something, and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to give it to him.
"Come on," she said getting out of the car and pulling him with her. "You're going to be awake through this aren't you?" Jing-Mei asked him and the walked quickly to where he was supposed to meet Mr. Sampson.
"Unfortunately, yeah, I'm awake." Dave answered. He looked tired, but at least he was clean, as for sober, that was anyone's guess.
They found Mr. Sampson waiting for them in the lobby. He smiled as he saw them approach.
"I almost started to think you weren't going to make it!" He moved over and took Dave's arm to lead him to a room where they could talk. He glanced back at Jing-Mei and gave her a thankful smile.
Jing-Mei watched as they walked down the hall. Soon she was alone the lobby, and she looked around: wondering just what she was supposed to do.
"Hey Deb." A voice came from behind her; a voice that brought her real comfort for the first time that morning.
"John." She said as she turned around to greet him.
"Benton told me I should come for support. How is he doing?" Carter asked softly.
"Good. I think…." Jing-Mei frowned, but quickly turned it into a smile. "I'm sure everything will be alright."
"Yeah, me too." Carter answered. Neither one sounded convinced.
~~~
"Dave, I just wanted to go over some things with you," Sampson said.
"Sure, I could use all the help I can get," Dave said, trying to seem normal. Whatever that was.
"Don't get defensive and don't lie," Sampson started. "If you get caught in a lie, Lowe will crucify you and we'll lose."
"Okay," Dave said. God, if Sampson only knew how many lies he had already told he would probably have a heart attack. "How long do you think I'll be on the stand?"
"Probably most of the day, but maybe not. Sometimes it's hard to say," Sampson responded. "Dave…"
"Yeah?"
"Lowe mentioned that he had a lengthy cross in store for you, is there anything I should know about?"
Dave looked at the DA for a minute, and for a fleeting moment thought about telling him everything…all his lies. But then, he thought about it, and reasoned he could probably make his way through the cross, and no one would ever have to know. How could Lowe know anything about his childhood anyway? Dave was sure that he could handle anything that came up…at least he hoped so. "I…I don't know," Dave lied again.
"Did you drink last night?"
"Yeah," Dave responded.
"I thought so," the DA sighed. "Why?"
"Listen, I'm over 21 and I wasn't driving. I didn't commit any crimes so what's the big deal," Dave snapped.
"The big deal is that you have to testify in open court today. You need to be on your game, or that defense attorney is going to rip you apart and bury the pieces. If he gets the chance, he will destroy you on the stand, Dr. Malucci. And like it or not you are my case, you had a responsibility, to me and to yourself."
Dave looked at the floor. "I…I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to cope with things right now and I needed something to take the edge off."
"I know this isn't easy for you, Dr. Malucci," the DA said softly. "I just don't want to see you get hurt more." After several moments of silence he continued, "Are you sober enough to testify?"
"Yeah," Dave said miserably.
"Okay, go out and buy some gum and some very strong cough drops, the kind with cough medicine in them. Chew the gum until you take the stand. When you take the stand spit the gum out and eat the cough drops. And try to relax." As if he had ordered this prognosis many times before.
"Okay," Dave said still looking at the floor. Dave looked at the DA for a minute. "I hope I don't let you down, Mr. Sampson."
"I won't be the one let down Dave, you will. Just do the best you can and thanks for cooperating," Sampson said shaking Dave's hand.
~~~
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause
~~~
Dave chewed the gum as he walked back to the courtroom. He was just rounding a corner but stopped and turned back. They were there. A lot of them at least. Benton and Jing-Mei, Carter and Luka, even Cleo was there. Kerry wasn't; and Dave almost sighed in relief. They were blocking his only path to the courtroom. He didn't want to face them now, not now. He still had half an hour, and he was going to utilize every minute of it. He briskly made his way to the bathroom, trying his best to look inconspicuous to the people around him.
As the bathroom door closed behind him he was able to breathe again. He closed his eyes and tried to sort out the feelings running through his head.
"Why, hello son." A crude voice laughed. Dave's eyes shot open defensively, and his recently found breath escaped him again.
"What are you doing here?" Dave whispered threateningly.
"I was invited," Ray smiled, trying to look hurt. "By your boss." Dave's voice locked in his throat. Kerry again.
"She had no right to do that." Dave answered softly.
"It's an open trial, Dave." Ray almost laughed.
"Go to hell." Dave whispered, turning again towards the door.
Ray stuck out his hand to stop the door from opening. Dave turned slowly to see his smirking stepfather.
"You're a sad, sadistic, megalomaniac. Just leave me alone!" Dave burst with his final sentence, breaking the calm, collective voice he had started with and tried to maintain. He was stronger than Ray, and he quickly pulled the door open and rushed out.
~~~
I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive
~~~
Mr. Lowe had Dave on the stand. He couldn't help but smile, Dr. Malucci had no idea what was coming to him.
"So you were kneeling to get your bicycle and someone hit you from behind. Is that correct?" Mr. Lowe asked.
"Yes." Dave answered plainly.
"So you couldn't see your attacker?" Mr. Lowe clarified.
"No, not until I fell onto my back." Dave answered calmly.
"So you had already been hit. Is there any chance that your vision was affected and you couldn't see your attacker very well?" Mr. Lowe was just playing, no matter what Dave said he knew he had him.
"I don't think so." Dave responded, he couldn't be sure, but he thought he had seen Mr. Mason clearly.
"Describe Mr. Mason for the jury." Lowe asked.
"Umm..." Dave was confused. Why was he doing this? Mr. Mason was right over there, and plainly anyone could see him. "Medium height…. Medium build…. Brown hair and eyes….." Dave couldn't think of anything else to say. He felt like was being tested.
"Now, describe your father for me." Lowe was smiling, just slightly; maybe nobody else could see it, but he was. Dave just gaped at him. What did this mean? Jing-Mei took a breath and moved considerably closer to Benton, not even realizing she was doing it. What was he getting at?
"Describe your father." Lowe demanded harshly. He was done with his toying; he wanted to get down to the actual kill.
"Uhhh…." Dave responded again.
"Medium height, medium build, brown hair and brown eyes." Lowe answered for him. He carried two pictures in his hand and said. "I request to submit this into evidence."
"Objection!" Mr. Sampson yelled, standing up from his seat. "This is irrelevant."
"With all due respect Your Honor, this directly affects my case." Lowe explained.
"Overruled. Continue Mr. Lowe." Judge Cannon responded.
"Thank you Your Honor." Mr. Lowe walked up to the jury and showed them to two pictures. "The one on the left is Mr. Mason, and the one on the right is Mr. Wilson, Dr. Malucci's stepfather." Then he walked up to show Dave. "Don't you think that it is a little strange that the man you accused as your attacker looks as though he could be your father's twin?" He asked, tauntingly.
"Uhh….. No." Dave finally answered. His mind was racing, trying to predict every possible question that might be asked next, and trying just as quickly to think up a legitimate response.
"You don't?" Lowe asked, soundly genuinely surprised. Jing-Mei took a deep breath and found herself grabbing Benton's arm. Benton felt Jing-Mei's uneasiness and wondered himself what was going on.
"You were beaten, by somebody, and you blamed it on someone who looked like your father." Lowe simplified. Then it hit Dave. Somehow or other Lowe had found out about the abuse. He stared open-eyed at Lowe, and Lowe smiled back. Everyone besides Dave, Lowe, Lenny, and Jing-Mei and Ray himself were confused. Dave hadn't been ready for that question.
"Oh, no." Jing-Mei whispered. Benton looked at her sideways. What did she know?
"Ok, Dr. Malucci, answer me this: How many times were you admitted to a hospital as a child?" Lowe asked.
"I…. Uhhh….. I don't know." Dave responded. He felt his heart thump and his head spin. Why was this happening?
"How about thirteen times? Does that sound reasonable? Thirteen times in five different hospitals, between the ages of 9 and 14. What about that?" Lowe asked abrasively. The whole courtroom seemed to gasp softly. Jing-Mei's clutch on Benton's arm became a death grip, and Benton finally understood all that had happened with Dave in the last months.
"I... I don't know…… Maybe." Dave stuttered. Lowe walked back to the defense table, grabbed a file of photographs.
"I wish to submit these photographs from medical records as evidence." Lowe said, walking towards the jury. He slowly and grippingly showed them each individual picture. Then he repeated the act with the audience. Each picture showed a gruesome bruise, cut, or burn. Jing-Mei choked and turned away, digging her face into Benton's shoulder. Benton shook his head and looked away also.
"Dr. Malucci, do you remember why you were admitted so many times?" Lowe asked loudly, approaching Dave menacingly.
"Objection!" Sampson yelled, stamping to his feet. "He's battering the witness!"
"Sustained." Judge Cannon agreed. "Mr. Lowe, you better get to your point."
"I was just coming to that your honor. 'DR.' Malucci, were you, or were you not, beaten by your father?" Lowe asked a little softer, but not much.
Dave stared at him dumbfounded. How had it suddenly turned against him? Why did he have to face this? Why did he have to face this here? Where there were people present that he didn't want to know? How much of his life would change? It had changed so much recently, did it even matter anymore?
"You are under oath Dr. Malucci. Now were you, or were you not, beaten by your father?" Lowe's voice was rising with annoyance. The whole courtroom held its breath, waiting listlessly for his answer. Dave looked down, gulped, and then looked up again.
"Yes." He answered as evenly as possible.
"Ok! So, you were beaten repeatedly by your father, and now you accuse his look alike as your attacker!" He turned dramatically to the jury.
Dave turned slowly to where he had seen Jing-Mei sitting. It felt like a dream. It felt as if time had stopped, and nothing else mattered except what he wanted to matter. It felt like he could change things if he really wanted to. But he knew that it was absurd and probably a defensive action conjured up by the brain; and yet it was comforting to believe. Jing-Mei turned her head from where she had been looking at Benton, and met his eyes. They sat there, in the silent, still courtroom. Dave knew Mr. Lowe was talking, and somewhere back in his mind he may have even registered it; but it was much better to not know for sure. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, it was over.
~~~
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause
~~~
Dave had wanted to leave the moment he got off the stand, but Mr. Sampson had stopped him. The DA had said something about waiting for the verdict, and had made Dave wait in a room. It only took the jury two hours to make its decision, and Dave tried to guess if this was a good or bad sign. Reluctantly he was called back to the courtroom, where he was forced to stand next to Mr. Sampson at their table.
He watched as the jury filed in one by one. He looked that them all, tried to read their faces, but they refused to look at him. He knew it; he just knew what was happening. His eyes grew weary and tense, his fists clenched and unclenched themselves without his telling them to do so, and his heartbeat rang in his ears.
One juror stood up. He said something, and the judge said something in return; but all Dave heard was ringing. The juror started to talk again, and again all Dave heard was ringing until
'Not guilty' pierced cleanly through his protective shroud.
~~~
Dave tried to avoid them, but somehow he ended up right in the middle of their group.
"Dave… I'm… I'm… I'm just so sorry... I…" Cleo looked speechless, and a little embarrassed, which was a new look for her. Dave nodded in her direction, smiled, and carried himself forward.
"Dave, we expected maybe…. But you still could have…" Was all Luka got out before Dave smiled and passed him as well.
"Dave, come on… Talk to me…" Carter said and he reached for Dave's arm to stop his rapid escape. Dave turned towards him, smiled, and continued on. The muscles around Dave's lips ached from the sustained forced smile. They used to be stronger, Dave mused. Six months ago he could smile for an entire day and his muscles never protested. Their lack of use during the last months must have caused the degeneration.
"Dave." Benton's voice boomed as it always did; forcefully. Dave was forced out of his mini train of thought as he turned to look at the imposing surgeon.
"Hey, I don't need your condolences. It was a long time ago, and I've gotten along just fine." Dave answered before a question could be asked.
"We're your friends. You should have told us." Benton said. Dave couldn't handle it. He had just lost a trial against a man who tried to kill him, and Benton still found some way to criticize him.
"Don't kid yourself Benton. We were never friends." Dave spat as he walked closer to Benton. "The nicest thing I'd get from you was a scowl. The NICEST. Same for Corday, Weaver, Chen, and Mark for that matter. The rest, well, they wouldn't go to any significant measures to talk to me either." Dave had wanted to get it out for some time, and now that everything was messed up anyway he was glad to get it out. "I don't blame you though; I didn't really like you guys either." He turned and started towards the door.
"Well, we're your friends now. You could have told us when he first showed up." Benton continued. Dave pivoted sharply and walked back towards Benton. The rest of the group was watching speechlessly, but Dave didn't care; let them watch.
"Maybe you never asked, or maybe I just didn't want everyone to know." Dave offered.
"Well, I'm sure that if you had at least told Kerry she wouldn't have pushed Ray on you." Benton tried to watch his decibel level, noticing that people were starting to stop and eavesdrop on this confrontation.
"I should have told her? I should have told her?" Dave asked incredulously. "Maybe, just maybe, I was happy with the ways things were, and maybe I knew that telling anybody would change that. Maybe people should stick to their own business and not try to force anyone on anybody else!" Dave started to walk away again, but returned before anybody could stop him. He raised his finger at Benton, but lowered it just as quickly. He continued with a considerably lower voice. A voice that was somewhat gravelly, like he was tired, or sick. "It wasn't her fault, though. I knew I shouldn't trust him, my gut told me not to." His voice was calm and level, but his eyes betrayed him. He was squinting and turning his head minutely from side to side, as if searching for some great truth that lay on the floor. And then, apparently having found it, he turned back to Benton. His voice was almost a whisper, and the others leaned in slightly. "I still did though. I still trusted that bastard." He paused, as if deciding whether or not the man in front of him deserved to hear the truth that Dave had to reveal. "The moment you trust anybody you are a sitting duck, an easy target. It will only get you hurt." Dave whispered, contempt in his voice. "Take my advice. Never trust anyone." With that Dave walked off and nobody tried to stop him.
~~~
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do
~~~
By Alyssa
Disclaimer: "I, Alyssa, do solemnly swear…." Turns briefly to look behind her at the man holding a gun to her back. She clears her throat and continues, "That I do not own any of the characters from the hit show 'ER'." Apparently having finished her job she feels the pressure of the barrel leaving her back.
The first part of the Title is a name of Beatles Song. The second part is from a Staind song. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.
Previously:
Dave has been in court, and things are going a little shaky. Jing Mei tried to rescue him from drinking into oblivion, and Benton tried to round up supporters.
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)
There may be a little swearing, but not much.
Jing-Mei could feel reality trying to get its grip on her. Her mind continued to fight for sleep, but it was a losing battle. Reluctantly Jing-Mei cracked open her eyes. Where was she? Oh, Dave's apartment. She was so tired. After putting Dave to bed last night, she stayed up for several hours just thinking about him. There was so much that she didn't know, so much he was hiding. She wondered if she would ever find out everything; probably not.
Had they done anything? No. Not that she hadn't wanted to. God, she wanted him last night, but she knew it wasn't the time. When it happened she wanted it to be special. Jing-Mei was still fighting the fogginess left over from her night on the couch. There was something she was forgetting. Definitely something. Her brain whined in protest as she tried to conjure up what it could possibly be.
The Trial!
She rushed to Dave's room and thrust the sheets to the floor. It was 9:00; he had to get up.
"Dave, come on! You have to get ready!" Jing-Mei commanded. Dave muttered something along the lines of 'go away'.
"Dave, I'm serious!" Jing-Mei started to tug on his arm now. She managed to drag his body far enough so that it hung precariously over the edge of the bed. Dave's torso was now completely off the bed, and he began to awaken.
"You have to go take a shower! And quickly!" she demanded. Dave muttered something about her being bossy and related her to Weaver. He stumbled his way towards the bathroom.
Jing-Mei waited outside the door, glancing periodically from her watch to the bathroom door. He was cutting it close; he had to finish up quickly. Jing-Mei pounded on the door. "Come on Dave! Hurry up!"
"Be quiet my head hurts!" he whimpered from the bathroom. Suddenly the water shut off and Jing-Mei could hear him being sick. He groaned as he opened the door and came out in his boxers and shirt. Jing-Mei frowned; she could still smell some alcohol.
"Come here." She said softly taking his hand in hers. She went into his bathroom and searched until she found an almost empty shampoo bottle. She filled it up with water and began to shake it.
"What are you doing?" Dave asked as he sat heavily onto the toilet seat. It was the first time this morning that he was able to gather his thoughts into the form of a question.
"Here, get back in the shower and pour this over your body. Let it dry; instant perfumed water." Jing-Mei scurried quickly out of the bathroom. "And hurry!" She added as she shut the door.
~~~
Jing-Mei gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were turning white. If the traffic cooperated, they should be able to get there on time. Dave was lying down with the seat pushed back as far as it could go, and he looked like he was sleeping. Even in his current condition, he was incredibly handsome and sexy. Jing-Mei took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She was comforted in the fact that even if things went wrong today, everything would still be alright. Dave wasn't the one on trial, she reasoned. Even if Mr. Mason went free, everything would be all right, right?
Jing-Mei watched as the courthouse came into view. Hopefully, today would be the last day she'd have to come here. She quickly pulled into a parking space. She reached over and shook his knee. "Dave, wake up."
"No," he moaned.
"Come on. You have to testify," she said sternly.
Dave opened his eyes and looked at her. "Do you care about me?"
"Yeah…yes," she stuttered.
"If you do, you'll drive me away from here."
"Dave, I know you're nervous, but it will be okay. Just tell the truth," she said, smiling softly at him.
"I can't tell the truth, Jing-Mei," he said rubbing his temples.
"Why?" she asked, suddenly startled. Was he hiding something else from her?
"If I do, it will destroy me," he said sadly.
She looked at him for a minute. "Dave, if you really want to leave. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. But you can't always run away from things." she said.
"I've been running all my life, Jing-Mei. I don't know if I can stop now," he said, his voice catching in his throat.
"You have to Dave. If you don't you'll never be able to be happy."
"You're right," he sighed, closing his eyes again. "I'm just so tired."
She wondered briefly if he meant from his life or the alcohol. She didn't know what to do, or what to say. He needed to hear something comforting, or maybe just brutally honest. Maybe he needed sympathy, or empathy. He just needed something, and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to give it to him.
"Come on," she said getting out of the car and pulling him with her. "You're going to be awake through this aren't you?" Jing-Mei asked him and the walked quickly to where he was supposed to meet Mr. Sampson.
"Unfortunately, yeah, I'm awake." Dave answered. He looked tired, but at least he was clean, as for sober, that was anyone's guess.
They found Mr. Sampson waiting for them in the lobby. He smiled as he saw them approach.
"I almost started to think you weren't going to make it!" He moved over and took Dave's arm to lead him to a room where they could talk. He glanced back at Jing-Mei and gave her a thankful smile.
Jing-Mei watched as they walked down the hall. Soon she was alone the lobby, and she looked around: wondering just what she was supposed to do.
"Hey Deb." A voice came from behind her; a voice that brought her real comfort for the first time that morning.
"John." She said as she turned around to greet him.
"Benton told me I should come for support. How is he doing?" Carter asked softly.
"Good. I think…." Jing-Mei frowned, but quickly turned it into a smile. "I'm sure everything will be alright."
"Yeah, me too." Carter answered. Neither one sounded convinced.
~~~
"Dave, I just wanted to go over some things with you," Sampson said.
"Sure, I could use all the help I can get," Dave said, trying to seem normal. Whatever that was.
"Don't get defensive and don't lie," Sampson started. "If you get caught in a lie, Lowe will crucify you and we'll lose."
"Okay," Dave said. God, if Sampson only knew how many lies he had already told he would probably have a heart attack. "How long do you think I'll be on the stand?"
"Probably most of the day, but maybe not. Sometimes it's hard to say," Sampson responded. "Dave…"
"Yeah?"
"Lowe mentioned that he had a lengthy cross in store for you, is there anything I should know about?"
Dave looked at the DA for a minute, and for a fleeting moment thought about telling him everything…all his lies. But then, he thought about it, and reasoned he could probably make his way through the cross, and no one would ever have to know. How could Lowe know anything about his childhood anyway? Dave was sure that he could handle anything that came up…at least he hoped so. "I…I don't know," Dave lied again.
"Did you drink last night?"
"Yeah," Dave responded.
"I thought so," the DA sighed. "Why?"
"Listen, I'm over 21 and I wasn't driving. I didn't commit any crimes so what's the big deal," Dave snapped.
"The big deal is that you have to testify in open court today. You need to be on your game, or that defense attorney is going to rip you apart and bury the pieces. If he gets the chance, he will destroy you on the stand, Dr. Malucci. And like it or not you are my case, you had a responsibility, to me and to yourself."
Dave looked at the floor. "I…I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to cope with things right now and I needed something to take the edge off."
"I know this isn't easy for you, Dr. Malucci," the DA said softly. "I just don't want to see you get hurt more." After several moments of silence he continued, "Are you sober enough to testify?"
"Yeah," Dave said miserably.
"Okay, go out and buy some gum and some very strong cough drops, the kind with cough medicine in them. Chew the gum until you take the stand. When you take the stand spit the gum out and eat the cough drops. And try to relax." As if he had ordered this prognosis many times before.
"Okay," Dave said still looking at the floor. Dave looked at the DA for a minute. "I hope I don't let you down, Mr. Sampson."
"I won't be the one let down Dave, you will. Just do the best you can and thanks for cooperating," Sampson said shaking Dave's hand.
~~~
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause
~~~
Dave chewed the gum as he walked back to the courtroom. He was just rounding a corner but stopped and turned back. They were there. A lot of them at least. Benton and Jing-Mei, Carter and Luka, even Cleo was there. Kerry wasn't; and Dave almost sighed in relief. They were blocking his only path to the courtroom. He didn't want to face them now, not now. He still had half an hour, and he was going to utilize every minute of it. He briskly made his way to the bathroom, trying his best to look inconspicuous to the people around him.
As the bathroom door closed behind him he was able to breathe again. He closed his eyes and tried to sort out the feelings running through his head.
"Why, hello son." A crude voice laughed. Dave's eyes shot open defensively, and his recently found breath escaped him again.
"What are you doing here?" Dave whispered threateningly.
"I was invited," Ray smiled, trying to look hurt. "By your boss." Dave's voice locked in his throat. Kerry again.
"She had no right to do that." Dave answered softly.
"It's an open trial, Dave." Ray almost laughed.
"Go to hell." Dave whispered, turning again towards the door.
Ray stuck out his hand to stop the door from opening. Dave turned slowly to see his smirking stepfather.
"You're a sad, sadistic, megalomaniac. Just leave me alone!" Dave burst with his final sentence, breaking the calm, collective voice he had started with and tried to maintain. He was stronger than Ray, and he quickly pulled the door open and rushed out.
~~~
I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive
~~~
Mr. Lowe had Dave on the stand. He couldn't help but smile, Dr. Malucci had no idea what was coming to him.
"So you were kneeling to get your bicycle and someone hit you from behind. Is that correct?" Mr. Lowe asked.
"Yes." Dave answered plainly.
"So you couldn't see your attacker?" Mr. Lowe clarified.
"No, not until I fell onto my back." Dave answered calmly.
"So you had already been hit. Is there any chance that your vision was affected and you couldn't see your attacker very well?" Mr. Lowe was just playing, no matter what Dave said he knew he had him.
"I don't think so." Dave responded, he couldn't be sure, but he thought he had seen Mr. Mason clearly.
"Describe Mr. Mason for the jury." Lowe asked.
"Umm..." Dave was confused. Why was he doing this? Mr. Mason was right over there, and plainly anyone could see him. "Medium height…. Medium build…. Brown hair and eyes….." Dave couldn't think of anything else to say. He felt like was being tested.
"Now, describe your father for me." Lowe was smiling, just slightly; maybe nobody else could see it, but he was. Dave just gaped at him. What did this mean? Jing-Mei took a breath and moved considerably closer to Benton, not even realizing she was doing it. What was he getting at?
"Describe your father." Lowe demanded harshly. He was done with his toying; he wanted to get down to the actual kill.
"Uhhh…." Dave responded again.
"Medium height, medium build, brown hair and brown eyes." Lowe answered for him. He carried two pictures in his hand and said. "I request to submit this into evidence."
"Objection!" Mr. Sampson yelled, standing up from his seat. "This is irrelevant."
"With all due respect Your Honor, this directly affects my case." Lowe explained.
"Overruled. Continue Mr. Lowe." Judge Cannon responded.
"Thank you Your Honor." Mr. Lowe walked up to the jury and showed them to two pictures. "The one on the left is Mr. Mason, and the one on the right is Mr. Wilson, Dr. Malucci's stepfather." Then he walked up to show Dave. "Don't you think that it is a little strange that the man you accused as your attacker looks as though he could be your father's twin?" He asked, tauntingly.
"Uhh….. No." Dave finally answered. His mind was racing, trying to predict every possible question that might be asked next, and trying just as quickly to think up a legitimate response.
"You don't?" Lowe asked, soundly genuinely surprised. Jing-Mei took a deep breath and found herself grabbing Benton's arm. Benton felt Jing-Mei's uneasiness and wondered himself what was going on.
"You were beaten, by somebody, and you blamed it on someone who looked like your father." Lowe simplified. Then it hit Dave. Somehow or other Lowe had found out about the abuse. He stared open-eyed at Lowe, and Lowe smiled back. Everyone besides Dave, Lowe, Lenny, and Jing-Mei and Ray himself were confused. Dave hadn't been ready for that question.
"Oh, no." Jing-Mei whispered. Benton looked at her sideways. What did she know?
"Ok, Dr. Malucci, answer me this: How many times were you admitted to a hospital as a child?" Lowe asked.
"I…. Uhhh….. I don't know." Dave responded. He felt his heart thump and his head spin. Why was this happening?
"How about thirteen times? Does that sound reasonable? Thirteen times in five different hospitals, between the ages of 9 and 14. What about that?" Lowe asked abrasively. The whole courtroom seemed to gasp softly. Jing-Mei's clutch on Benton's arm became a death grip, and Benton finally understood all that had happened with Dave in the last months.
"I... I don't know…… Maybe." Dave stuttered. Lowe walked back to the defense table, grabbed a file of photographs.
"I wish to submit these photographs from medical records as evidence." Lowe said, walking towards the jury. He slowly and grippingly showed them each individual picture. Then he repeated the act with the audience. Each picture showed a gruesome bruise, cut, or burn. Jing-Mei choked and turned away, digging her face into Benton's shoulder. Benton shook his head and looked away also.
"Dr. Malucci, do you remember why you were admitted so many times?" Lowe asked loudly, approaching Dave menacingly.
"Objection!" Sampson yelled, stamping to his feet. "He's battering the witness!"
"Sustained." Judge Cannon agreed. "Mr. Lowe, you better get to your point."
"I was just coming to that your honor. 'DR.' Malucci, were you, or were you not, beaten by your father?" Lowe asked a little softer, but not much.
Dave stared at him dumbfounded. How had it suddenly turned against him? Why did he have to face this? Why did he have to face this here? Where there were people present that he didn't want to know? How much of his life would change? It had changed so much recently, did it even matter anymore?
"You are under oath Dr. Malucci. Now were you, or were you not, beaten by your father?" Lowe's voice was rising with annoyance. The whole courtroom held its breath, waiting listlessly for his answer. Dave looked down, gulped, and then looked up again.
"Yes." He answered as evenly as possible.
"Ok! So, you were beaten repeatedly by your father, and now you accuse his look alike as your attacker!" He turned dramatically to the jury.
Dave turned slowly to where he had seen Jing-Mei sitting. It felt like a dream. It felt as if time had stopped, and nothing else mattered except what he wanted to matter. It felt like he could change things if he really wanted to. But he knew that it was absurd and probably a defensive action conjured up by the brain; and yet it was comforting to believe. Jing-Mei turned her head from where she had been looking at Benton, and met his eyes. They sat there, in the silent, still courtroom. Dave knew Mr. Lowe was talking, and somewhere back in his mind he may have even registered it; but it was much better to not know for sure. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, it was over.
~~~
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause
~~~
Dave had wanted to leave the moment he got off the stand, but Mr. Sampson had stopped him. The DA had said something about waiting for the verdict, and had made Dave wait in a room. It only took the jury two hours to make its decision, and Dave tried to guess if this was a good or bad sign. Reluctantly he was called back to the courtroom, where he was forced to stand next to Mr. Sampson at their table.
He watched as the jury filed in one by one. He looked that them all, tried to read their faces, but they refused to look at him. He knew it; he just knew what was happening. His eyes grew weary and tense, his fists clenched and unclenched themselves without his telling them to do so, and his heartbeat rang in his ears.
One juror stood up. He said something, and the judge said something in return; but all Dave heard was ringing. The juror started to talk again, and again all Dave heard was ringing until
'Not guilty' pierced cleanly through his protective shroud.
~~~
Dave tried to avoid them, but somehow he ended up right in the middle of their group.
"Dave… I'm… I'm… I'm just so sorry... I…" Cleo looked speechless, and a little embarrassed, which was a new look for her. Dave nodded in her direction, smiled, and carried himself forward.
"Dave, we expected maybe…. But you still could have…" Was all Luka got out before Dave smiled and passed him as well.
"Dave, come on… Talk to me…" Carter said and he reached for Dave's arm to stop his rapid escape. Dave turned towards him, smiled, and continued on. The muscles around Dave's lips ached from the sustained forced smile. They used to be stronger, Dave mused. Six months ago he could smile for an entire day and his muscles never protested. Their lack of use during the last months must have caused the degeneration.
"Dave." Benton's voice boomed as it always did; forcefully. Dave was forced out of his mini train of thought as he turned to look at the imposing surgeon.
"Hey, I don't need your condolences. It was a long time ago, and I've gotten along just fine." Dave answered before a question could be asked.
"We're your friends. You should have told us." Benton said. Dave couldn't handle it. He had just lost a trial against a man who tried to kill him, and Benton still found some way to criticize him.
"Don't kid yourself Benton. We were never friends." Dave spat as he walked closer to Benton. "The nicest thing I'd get from you was a scowl. The NICEST. Same for Corday, Weaver, Chen, and Mark for that matter. The rest, well, they wouldn't go to any significant measures to talk to me either." Dave had wanted to get it out for some time, and now that everything was messed up anyway he was glad to get it out. "I don't blame you though; I didn't really like you guys either." He turned and started towards the door.
"Well, we're your friends now. You could have told us when he first showed up." Benton continued. Dave pivoted sharply and walked back towards Benton. The rest of the group was watching speechlessly, but Dave didn't care; let them watch.
"Maybe you never asked, or maybe I just didn't want everyone to know." Dave offered.
"Well, I'm sure that if you had at least told Kerry she wouldn't have pushed Ray on you." Benton tried to watch his decibel level, noticing that people were starting to stop and eavesdrop on this confrontation.
"I should have told her? I should have told her?" Dave asked incredulously. "Maybe, just maybe, I was happy with the ways things were, and maybe I knew that telling anybody would change that. Maybe people should stick to their own business and not try to force anyone on anybody else!" Dave started to walk away again, but returned before anybody could stop him. He raised his finger at Benton, but lowered it just as quickly. He continued with a considerably lower voice. A voice that was somewhat gravelly, like he was tired, or sick. "It wasn't her fault, though. I knew I shouldn't trust him, my gut told me not to." His voice was calm and level, but his eyes betrayed him. He was squinting and turning his head minutely from side to side, as if searching for some great truth that lay on the floor. And then, apparently having found it, he turned back to Benton. His voice was almost a whisper, and the others leaned in slightly. "I still did though. I still trusted that bastard." He paused, as if deciding whether or not the man in front of him deserved to hear the truth that Dave had to reveal. "The moment you trust anybody you are a sitting duck, an easy target. It will only get you hurt." Dave whispered, contempt in his voice. "Take my advice. Never trust anyone." With that Dave walked off and nobody tried to stop him.
~~~
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do
~~~
