Chapter Two
Lullaby, I Remember
][Sakura][
... It was warm and cozy where I was but I was the least bit concerned about being comfortable. I wasn't in my home nor with the things I love. I was somewhere else, a place I couldn't describe in one word...
... I woke with a strange headache causing me to wince in pain from the birds chirping outside. Maybe I went nuts and got put into a medical treatment center or something. I wasn't sure. I knew I was scared and even more emptier than before. It felt like something just made my life worst and I was right. Syaoran had come here to see me. My life just wasn't fair...
... I walked out of the room I was staying in to find myself in a large corridor filled with music and paintings. Animals, water, nature itself was painted onto these walls of an old friend as I made my way quietly to the sound of the music I was hearing. Violins, piano, and shuffling of feet where heard not less than ten feet in front of me as a door the size of my house stood largely to the ceiling and back to the floor...
... That tune. It sounded so familiar but yet so far out of reach to get a hold of. I knew that tune but from where? Where did I know this tune? Someone I knew was luring me into this room to be hurt and I knew it. It had to be Syaoran...
... With one sudden movement I turned to walk away. I never wanted to be hurt like that again. Not anymore. I didn't even want to hurt him even though he caused this pain of mine. I was just a burden to everyone. I had to get away...
... Before I even had a chance to run my heart stop to almost complete failure. Hands were on my shoulders stopping me from my destination. Syaoran...
"Please, let me go. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to leave."
"You need to rest, Suki. You took a nasty fall back there and you need to heal. Please let me help you."
... I think by now he was pleading for me to stay but I couldn't. He knew I would let him help me for he was my only trusted friend I had until that day. But even now with his hands on my shoulders I couldn't let my shield melt. I had to be strong and fight this urge to stay. I had to do it for my own good along with others...
"No. I am leaving and you can't stop me. Now let me go please."
... When I figured out that he wasn't going to let me go I did the only thing I knew how to do. Struggle to get free. It wasn't much but it was the best option I had. Needless to say it didn't work and I fell to my knees exhausted and crying...
"Why? Why did you come here? Why couldn't you just leave me alone? I wanted to be alone, by myself. I didn't want to hurt you, I don't want to feel this pain within me anymore. Please, Syaoran, please..."
][Syaoran][
... It was when I saw her cry that I knew I hurt her worst then she already felt. All I wanted to do was to make her happy again like she was before she remembered. But I guess I did the worst thing in coming here although I knew that I didn't. I had to make her happy again, I had to get that smile back, I had to get Sakura back. I wasn't going to let my guard down and melt with her tears. No. I wasn't...
"Sakura. Stop crying. I want to help you and you crying will cause me pain. Not you being here and you know that. Please, look at me."
... I saw her head lift following tears that rained down her face. My heart sank knowing I was hurting her but I had to try to save her...
"Why did that music sound so familiar to me. Why? Am I remembering something else?"
... She was now pleading for mercy as she looked sadly onto the floor then back to my eyes. Never in my life had I seen something so sad as she for she was crying from pain, sorrow, and emptiness. I knew how she felt but I couldn't tell her. Not now. Not when she is hurting this bad...
... After much begging and pleading along with an exhausted Sakura, she gave in to staying at my house that I had formed two years back when I felt her pain in Japan. Her aura had melted from the sweet loving Suki to the pain driven Sakura that doesn't even know who she is. I knew she needed help and with horrible rumors of my friend being spread around I knew she needs help. She just wasn't going to live without the help and even if she tried she would live for a few months and I knew it. Suki's aura was slowly fading and I hadn't much time to bring it back up...
... For the first few nights I tried to get her to open up and when that didn't work I decided to tell her why she remembered that music that was in the corridor halls...
"Suki, do you remember your mom and how she got you into music?"
... It was a cautious question strung with anticipated pain but I knew that was how I had to start it off. For her sake anyhow...
"Yes. Why?"
... I slowly made my way to her bed and sat down to talk to her face to face. It had been a while since I could do that, talk to her directly but now I was sure to take that advantage...
"Well, the music in the hall you heard was a song your mom use to play for you for bedtime. You never liked stories much and when your mother got you into music, well you get the point. That song was your lullaby and everyone close to you learned it from your mom incase she was to go away. She wanted all to know that was your song and that it would make you happy."
... I slowly lifted my head to see her expression. I was happy when I found a faint smile on her face, the first I had seen in five years. She obviously was happy, that song made her happy and now I was happy...
... After more memory telling she seemed to learn in the past few years that she had been away I tried to talk to her about why I would never tell her what I told her five years ago. To much of my dismay she pushed me from the bed and cried telling me to leave and go away. I did just that knowing bringing up that conversation wasn't to last long or even start for she was still hurting and blaming herself. I had to let her know what I knew but how? I didn't want to hurt her or cause her pain. I sure didn't want to tell her until she was ready but I knew she never was going to be. How? How was I to tell my best friend that I was there when it happened? When she lost her memory and how her life came tumbling down? How?...
... I slowly slid down the face of her door on the outside crying for pain of my best friend. I wanted to tell her but she wouldn't let me...
"How? How am I to tell you if you won't let me Sakura? Please, let me help you and make you understand. Please..."
Lullaby, I Remember
][Sakura][
... It was warm and cozy where I was but I was the least bit concerned about being comfortable. I wasn't in my home nor with the things I love. I was somewhere else, a place I couldn't describe in one word...
... I woke with a strange headache causing me to wince in pain from the birds chirping outside. Maybe I went nuts and got put into a medical treatment center or something. I wasn't sure. I knew I was scared and even more emptier than before. It felt like something just made my life worst and I was right. Syaoran had come here to see me. My life just wasn't fair...
... I walked out of the room I was staying in to find myself in a large corridor filled with music and paintings. Animals, water, nature itself was painted onto these walls of an old friend as I made my way quietly to the sound of the music I was hearing. Violins, piano, and shuffling of feet where heard not less than ten feet in front of me as a door the size of my house stood largely to the ceiling and back to the floor...
... That tune. It sounded so familiar but yet so far out of reach to get a hold of. I knew that tune but from where? Where did I know this tune? Someone I knew was luring me into this room to be hurt and I knew it. It had to be Syaoran...
... With one sudden movement I turned to walk away. I never wanted to be hurt like that again. Not anymore. I didn't even want to hurt him even though he caused this pain of mine. I was just a burden to everyone. I had to get away...
... Before I even had a chance to run my heart stop to almost complete failure. Hands were on my shoulders stopping me from my destination. Syaoran...
"Please, let me go. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to leave."
"You need to rest, Suki. You took a nasty fall back there and you need to heal. Please let me help you."
... I think by now he was pleading for me to stay but I couldn't. He knew I would let him help me for he was my only trusted friend I had until that day. But even now with his hands on my shoulders I couldn't let my shield melt. I had to be strong and fight this urge to stay. I had to do it for my own good along with others...
"No. I am leaving and you can't stop me. Now let me go please."
... When I figured out that he wasn't going to let me go I did the only thing I knew how to do. Struggle to get free. It wasn't much but it was the best option I had. Needless to say it didn't work and I fell to my knees exhausted and crying...
"Why? Why did you come here? Why couldn't you just leave me alone? I wanted to be alone, by myself. I didn't want to hurt you, I don't want to feel this pain within me anymore. Please, Syaoran, please..."
][Syaoran][
... It was when I saw her cry that I knew I hurt her worst then she already felt. All I wanted to do was to make her happy again like she was before she remembered. But I guess I did the worst thing in coming here although I knew that I didn't. I had to make her happy again, I had to get that smile back, I had to get Sakura back. I wasn't going to let my guard down and melt with her tears. No. I wasn't...
"Sakura. Stop crying. I want to help you and you crying will cause me pain. Not you being here and you know that. Please, look at me."
... I saw her head lift following tears that rained down her face. My heart sank knowing I was hurting her but I had to try to save her...
"Why did that music sound so familiar to me. Why? Am I remembering something else?"
... She was now pleading for mercy as she looked sadly onto the floor then back to my eyes. Never in my life had I seen something so sad as she for she was crying from pain, sorrow, and emptiness. I knew how she felt but I couldn't tell her. Not now. Not when she is hurting this bad...
... After much begging and pleading along with an exhausted Sakura, she gave in to staying at my house that I had formed two years back when I felt her pain in Japan. Her aura had melted from the sweet loving Suki to the pain driven Sakura that doesn't even know who she is. I knew she needed help and with horrible rumors of my friend being spread around I knew she needs help. She just wasn't going to live without the help and even if she tried she would live for a few months and I knew it. Suki's aura was slowly fading and I hadn't much time to bring it back up...
... For the first few nights I tried to get her to open up and when that didn't work I decided to tell her why she remembered that music that was in the corridor halls...
"Suki, do you remember your mom and how she got you into music?"
... It was a cautious question strung with anticipated pain but I knew that was how I had to start it off. For her sake anyhow...
"Yes. Why?"
... I slowly made my way to her bed and sat down to talk to her face to face. It had been a while since I could do that, talk to her directly but now I was sure to take that advantage...
"Well, the music in the hall you heard was a song your mom use to play for you for bedtime. You never liked stories much and when your mother got you into music, well you get the point. That song was your lullaby and everyone close to you learned it from your mom incase she was to go away. She wanted all to know that was your song and that it would make you happy."
... I slowly lifted my head to see her expression. I was happy when I found a faint smile on her face, the first I had seen in five years. She obviously was happy, that song made her happy and now I was happy...
... After more memory telling she seemed to learn in the past few years that she had been away I tried to talk to her about why I would never tell her what I told her five years ago. To much of my dismay she pushed me from the bed and cried telling me to leave and go away. I did just that knowing bringing up that conversation wasn't to last long or even start for she was still hurting and blaming herself. I had to let her know what I knew but how? I didn't want to hurt her or cause her pain. I sure didn't want to tell her until she was ready but I knew she never was going to be. How? How was I to tell my best friend that I was there when it happened? When she lost her memory and how her life came tumbling down? How?...
... I slowly slid down the face of her door on the outside crying for pain of my best friend. I wanted to tell her but she wouldn't let me...
"How? How am I to tell you if you won't let me Sakura? Please, let me help you and make you understand. Please..."
