"Helen, you have to talk to me," I said to her.
"I don't have anything to say to you, Arnold," she said, looking me dead on, trying to stare me down.
"Helen, please!" I said. "I really do care about you. I have ever since I saw you. Lila was just convenience, nothing else."
"And that's what I'll be too, right?" she replied, coldly. "Just another distraction."
"No, that's not it. You make me feel something else. When I'm with you, no one else comes to my mind."
"Who is she?" Helen asked. "Helga. Who is she and what happened?"
That was when I couldn't look her in the eye. "She was this girl who would bully me around. I thought it was because she hated me, but it turns out she was in love with me for six years. There was a flood." I closed my eyes, to push back the tears. I saw it as I spoke.
"No!" I cried. I told the others to let out the rope as far as we could so Mr. Simmons could reach her, but the waves were to quick and she was swept out of our reach in seconds. When we reached the last of our rope and it was certain that Mr. Simmons couldn't reach her, I heard Gerald tell the others to pull Mr. Simmons back in.
I was frozen at the sight of her frightened eyes, watching me as she floated away. When I heard Phoebe's sobs and cries for Helga to come back, I realized it. Helga was gone. I couldn't save her. Even when she wasn't in sight, I saw her. Her eyes. She wanted me to save her and I didn't.
Helen was silent for a while, taking it all in. Her silence disturbed me, but I waited patiently for her to speak. "No, you shouldn't forget her, Arnold. Just picture her as a spirit floating by your side. Watching over you." With that said, she stood and left me there. Alone, with myself and Helga's eyes. I couldn't do as Helen said. Helga wasn't some guardian angel. She was a plague. Plain and simple. I also couldn't picture her a spirit because part of believes...no, knows. Part of me knows she's alive.
Life went on, like nothing
had ever happened. Helen talked to me again, but she never spoke to me
when I was alone. Only if Gerald was with me or Phoebe was with her. I
fell in love with her more and more, but when I realized it, Helga crying
out my name or her eyes would form into my head. She wouldn't leave me
alone. There was another thing that wouldn't leave me alone. Helen didn't
look anything like her parents. It came up between Gerald and I, but we
didn't say much about it. It was a few months since my talk with Helen
before I approached her about it.
"What do you want to know
about my parents?" she asked me. I had finally gotten her alone and she
looked a little nervous, but she didn't it in body language.
"Well, it occurred to me
that you have no resemblance to them," I said, praying that if she was
adopted, she knew about it, "and I was wondering if you were adopted."
Helen smiled softly, with
a hint of sadness in it. "Yes, Arnold. I am," was all she told me. I waited
for her to go on, but she didn't.
"Well, how long were you,
I mean, when did they..." I didn't know how to phrase it. Luckily, she
did it for me.
"I was never in an orphanage,"
she said. "They found me when I was nine. I was half dead in a ditch that
crossed through Burley." She must've noticed my startled look because she
quickly added, "I know that it sounds similar Arnold, but I don't think
I was swept away in a flood. I have these vague memories of these two people.
I guess they were my parents. They hovered over me, the woman looking blankly
and unfeeling at me, her eyes obvious that they were drunk, and the man
had his back at me. The next thing I see is water enveloping me. The woman
may have thrown me in, but the man didn't seem to care or notice. Anyway,
I think I was abandoned, not swept away."
I looked at her with sadness.
I didn't know which was worse. To not have parents, but dream that they
loved you or to not have parents, but knew they didn't want you in the
first place. She looked at me with that smile that pierced my heart with
cupid's arrow, innocence glazing her crystal blue eyes.
"It's okay, Arnold," she
said. "My parents love me, even my biological ones didn't. It doesn't matter
to me as long as I have my current parents. Being cared by foster parents
is usually a good thing. It means you are a wanted child."
I smiled at the thought. She was an optimist, like I used to be. Before
Helga drifted away. She was right anyway. If I wasn't wanted, my grandparents
could've put me into a foster home and I knew my parents had a good reason
to leave me behind. "That's a good thought for people like us..." I murmured
to her.
"Yeah...I've always liked..."
She didn't finish. My lips closed over hers into the sweetest kiss I ever
tasted. It was familiar though. With the confident way she moved her lips
and tongue, I knew she found it familiar too. I pulled away instantly when
I realized what the kiss reminded me of. The play and the Babewatch thing.
Helga had left that same taste on my lips. This girl was Helga. I knew
it. Something seemed to click from the start and now I knew. Helen Kincaid
was Helga Pataki.
I was speechless and deaf to all around me that I didn't hear Helen
apologize and I couldn't move as I watched her get up and leave. Move,
I growled at my legs. Catch her! It's Helga damn it! Move your ass!!!
I finally listened and got up to catch her, but she was gone already.
