Disclaimer: I promise that this is not being written for money. I wish I could, but I can't.
A/N: The last chapter was really a prologue to introduce you to my characters. This one will be much longer. Much. Oh and since I'm just kinda having fun with this story, it's going to be very lighthearted and frivolous. I needed a break from the depressing stuff that I was writing, and so this one has lots more pranks. Please review!!!!
Chapter 3: What Happens When You Mix Soap and Pancakes
Evans works fast, I'll give her that. It's only the second day of school and I woke up to find spiders in my bed. Yuck. I just froze them, stepped on them, and threw them out the window. I sure hope I found them all though. Quickly I pulled on my robes and went down for breakfast. Sirius and Peter were still snoring away, but Remus was up and eating. So was Evans.
She just smiled sweetly and waved from farther down the table. "Morning, Potter. Sleep well?"
I ignored her. I had more important things to do. The problem with Evans (or at least one of them) is that she underestimates my intelligence. She never expected me to retaliate so quickly or she would not have left her pancakes unguarded. I needed Remus to help me, because for some reason Remus and Evans are friends. So he distracted her and I poured some liquid soap into her container of pancake syrup. Then I sat back and ate my own. I gave Remus the thumbs up signal and Evans went back to her breakfast. She poured the syrup.
It was brilliant if I do say so myself. See, I would never confine myself to a simple muggle trick. No, I had to make it magic. After Evans took a bite of her soapy pancakes, she burped and a few red bubbles came out of her mouth. It was my own special concoction, a combination of soap, bubbles, a small spell, and red dye. Evans wasn't amused.
"Potter!" she roared. More bubbles trickled out of her mouth.
I just smiled and waved. "Have a nice breakfast, Evans?"
Remus was struggling to keep a straight face. Sirius was going to be mad that he missed out on the fun, but that's what comes from sleeping late. The early bird plays the prank. Or something like that. Anyway, he came down a little while later and started chewing me out for not waking him.
"Calm down, Padfoot, I swear, it was a spur of the moment prank! I was going to try out Bubble-Burst on Snape first, but then Evans filled my bed with spiders."
We both glanced over towards Evans who was trying to drink her pumpkin juice while bubbles kept coming up. Then we looked at each other and burst out laughing. Evans noticed our laughter and made a face.
"What do you think you're laughing at, Potter? Black? I swear, this means war!"
"Doesn't it always?" I replied.
"Just you wait!" Evans was turning red, a special effect of Bubble-Burst. Her friend Claudia tapped her on the shoulder and held up a mirror. Evans shrieked again and ran out of the Hall, with Claudia on her heels. One of the other girls in Evans' dorm, Stacey, looked up from her copy of The Daily Prophet.
"You really should grow up, James," she said.
"Nah, I wouldn't be as much fun," I replied with a grin.
"Leave him alone, Stace. He was only retaliating, Lily started it," Remus said with a small smile.
Stacey turned to him and gave him the full glare from her bright blue eyes. "I truly don't understand you, Remus. How you can watch while your friends torture each other and not interfere?"
Remus shrugged. "Simple, I don't want to be the target of their pranks."
Stacey shook her head and went back to her paper. I caught sight of the headline, upside down. It said, You-Know-Who Takes the Life of Another Family.
"It's getting worse, isn't it," I said quietly. Stacey looked at me in surprise.
"Yes. It is. You see that girl over there?" She pointed to a girl at the Ravenclaw table. "It was her family who was murdered. Her parents and two younger brothers."
Stacey is a strange person. She has absolutely no sense of humor and takes death in stride. To her, the deaths of hundreds is something to pity, but not feel sad about. She's extremely bright and sometimes she shows incredible insight. She also doesn't seem to possess the full range of human emotions. She's kind of scary.
Sirius started babbling about something or other, but I was too busy staring at the Ravenclaw girl. What did it feel like, to one moment have a family, and the next... How could you ever recover? I couldn't imagine losing my parents or my little sister. She had just started Hogwarts this year (Sorted into Gryffindor, naturally) and was so happy to finally be learning magic. It would be so sad if all of that was cut off from her.
"Hello? Earth to James? Are you in there?"
Sirius was shouting in my ear. I started. "What? Sorry, Sirius. What did you say?"
"I said we only have a few minutes to get to class," Sirius said, giving me a funny look. "What were you thinking about?"
"Death," I answered truthfully. Sirius mumbled something that sounded like, "Barking mad!"
"Come on, we have Charms," he said out loud. I let out a small groan.
It's not that I hate Charms, I really don't. Like I said earlier, I'm a Prefect and that means I have good academics. It's just that Charms happens to be Lily Evans' best subject. It's not mine. I'm not terrible, I'm just not great. It's really annoying to see Evans simply flick her wand and perform the charm perfectly. It takes me the whole class to even make progress! She gets to show off and then Professor Flitwick praises her for twenty minutes. It makes me ill.
Transfiguration is my best subject. Professor McGonagall, the Head of Gryffindor and Transfiguration teacher, may not like me much, but she can't deny that I am excellent in her class. It's pretty easy for me too. I don't show off or anything like Evans. I couldn't get praise even if I turned a mouse into a grand piano. McGonagall is very strict, I'm a Marauder. Need I say anything more?
Sirius, Remus, and I walked to Charms together, talking about the pranks we needed to pull and when the next full moon was. We reached the door to Flitwick's room and went inside. I tried to take a seat in the back, but they were already full. I was stuck in the front. Next to Evans. I sat down and tried to ignore her. She did the same.
"Good morning class," Professor Flitwick began in his squeaky voice.
"Good morning," the class chorused.
"Today, I want to work on Song Charms. Not the kind with potency, but the ones that are just to create beautiful music. Write this down, please."
We spent the first half of class taking some complicated notes, then he paired us off into partners. I instinctively moved towards Sirius.
"Let's see, Mr. Lupin and Miss Nevare, Mr. Black and Miss Grover, Mr. Pettigrew and Miss Christopher, Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, Miss Bega and..."
I stopped listening. Flitwick had paired me with Evans! I had to experience her bragging first hand and I just knew she would laugh at me. By the look on her face, Evans wasn't pleased about it either.
"Look, Potter, you'd better get this right. I don't want to lose points."
"Then do it yourself, Evans. I'm no good in Charms."
She sighed exasperated. "It's simple, even for an idiot like yourself. All you do is flick your wand and say the spell. You don't have this much trouble in Transfiguration."
Like I said. Self-absorbed. I gritted my teeth, flicked my wand, and said the spell.
"Symphonius!"
Nothing happened. Big surprise. Evans just rolled her eyes and pushed me out of the way.
"You're doing it wrong. The words and movements need to be smooth, like you're conducting an orchestra. Watch."
She rolled up her sleeves and raised her wand. Then she brought it down with a fluid sweeping motion.
"Symphonius!"
And of course, music flowed from her wand. "Show off," I muttered.
Then, just like always, Professor Flitwick walked over and started to praise her.
"Look, Miss Evans has done it! Superb!"
I just put my head down on the desk and tried to take a nap. The rest of the class passed by at a fairly quick speed. I passed the time by thinking of how the feud between Evans and myself started.
I was on the train in my first year, sitting with my new found friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. We had been discussing Quidditch teams when this small redheaded girl entered our compartment.
"Excuse me," she said, "but may I sit here? Everywhere else is full."
"Sure," we had all replied. She sat down next to me.
"I'm Lily Evans," she said.
We all introduced ourselves. I started talking about Quidditch and Evans made a face. She's very good at making faces.
"I don't see what's so great about Quidditch. Everyone seems to be talking about it!"
My jaw dropped. "That's because it's only the greatest sport ever! It's fantastic, it's brilliant!"
Evans shrugged. "It's just a sport. What's the big deal? Are you some hotshot on a broom or something?"
I could feel myself turning red. "I bet I'm better than you!"
"That wouldn't be hard," she replied, "seeing as I'm muggleborn and have never been on a broom in my life."
I glared at her. "Well, then I bet I'm better at you in school."
"We'll see. I may be muggleborn, but I'm probably smarter than some daft jock!"
I was so angry that I had pulled out my wand. She pulled hers out as well and we stood facing each other. Luckily Remus stepped in and played peacemaker.
"Relax, both of you. Neither of you know enough magic to do anything anyway. Just calm down."
My anger subsided and I sat down next to Sirius. Evans tossed her head and left the compartment.
"That girl is definitely Slytherin material," I remarked to my friends.
I was brought back to the present by Professor Flitwick's voice. He asked me to stay after the class. I just realized that the bell had rung and I was still sitting at my desk. I was worried that Flitwick was going to take points away for my daydreaming, but he just wanted to talk.
"Mr. Potter, I realize that you are a Prefect and have more responsibilities, but I'm afraid we'll have to remove you from your Prefect position if your scores in my class don't come up. I recommend that you get a tutor. For a little while, anyway."
I was horrified. I hadn't realized that my grades in Charms were so bad. Well, maybe Remus could tutor me, he was a good student.
"I'm sure that Miss Evans would be happy to tutor you," Flitwick was saying.
"What!" I shouted. "Lily Evans, tutor me? I can't be doing that badly! Why are you punishing me?"
Professor Flitwick gave me a funny look. "Miss Evans is the best Charms student I have. I'm sure that she could help you. After all, Mr. Potter, you're not stupid, you just don't pay attention. I'll speak to Miss Evans."
I couldn't believe this. I not only had to be tutored, but Evans had to be my tutor! How unfair could this day get?
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I thought that the spiders in his bed were a stroke of genius. I don't like spiders much myself, but I managed to dump a box of them in his bed. I doubt very much that he found them all. Remind me not to go into the boy's dormitory for awhile. I certainly didn't think Potter would be able to get even so quickly! Those damn bubbles would have kept coming up if Stacey hadn't removed the spell. Then I just had to deal with the taste of soap in my mouth. And at breakfast I was turning red! Literally! I knew how to take care of that one though, and I made it to Charms normal color and bubble free. I will make Potter pay!
I was in Charms waiting for class to begin when I couldn't help noticing that Potter hadn't shown up yet. In fact, neither had his friends. It was too much to hope for that they'd be late, and sure enough they came barging in right before the bell rang. Potter and crew made their way towards the back. Typical. There was only one problem. There weren't enough seats in the back and Potter had to look elsewhere. The only available seat was in the front. Next to me.
I did my best to ignore him. How was I supposed to know that Flitwick was going to partner us together? He had to know that we couldn't stand each other, it's not like it's a secret. Professor McGonagall has gotten so tired of our bickering that she refuses to let us sit near each other. Apparently Flitwick didn't get the owl. We were learning Song Charms which can be immensely difficult or extremely simple depending on your ability to focus.
Potter doesn't have that ability.
"You're doing it wrong," I said exasperated. "The words and movements need to be smooth, like you're conducting an orchestra. Watch. Symphonius!"
And music poured from my wand. I think that Potter called me a showoff, but I can't be certain. Professor Flitwick came over and congratulated me. I blushed with pride. I love Charms, it's my best subject. It's not Potter's. He spent the rest of the class with his head on his desk. I couldn't wait to leave.
After Charms we had a little while before we had to go to Care of Magical Creatures, so Claudia, Megan, and I ran up to our dormitory to grab our books. Stacey has Study of Ancient Runes that period so she had already gone. I threw myself onto my bed and screamed into my pillow.
"Potter is so infuriating! Why does he have to be such a prick?"
"A prick, most certainly," Megan said, rummaging around under her bed. Megan can never find anything. "But a cute prick."
I nearly fell off of my bed. "I must have heard you wrong, Meg. Did you just call Potter cute?"
"Aha!" she cried triumphantly and pulled out her copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. "Yes, Scarlet, I did call James Potter cute. But like I said, he's a prick. Even you can't deny that he's cute. Well, you could try, but we wouldn't believe you."
I turned to Claudia. "Do you think he's cute?"
She looked at me funny. "Sure. He's cute, he's very cute, but he's Potter which means that neither of us would ever act on it. You can think he's cute and still not like him. Hell, a lot of the handsome boys in this school are twits. It's a Narcissus complex."
There she goes spouting psychology again. I didn't know what to think. My two best friends just admitted that they think Potter is cute! Did I think he is cute? No, absolutely not. He's Potter which means he's not allowed to be cute. Unfortunately I knew that most of the female population at Hogwarts would disagree with me and two of them slept in my dorm.
I could never think that Potter was cute. He's a twerp and has been one ever since our first meeting. I still remember it perfectly. I had come into his compartment and asked to sit down. He and his friends said sure.
Then Potter started talking about Quidditch. I just asked what was so great about it and he was completely offended! He claimed he'd be better on a broom that me, and I told him I didn't doubt it because I had never been on a broom in my life. Want to know a secret? I actually fly very well. It seems to come naturally to me. Claudia tried to convince me to try out for Quidditch, but I don't like sports of any kind. I just like to fly.
Someone was knocking on our door. Megan got up to let the person in.
"Oh, hulllo, Janey," I said to the small girl who had just entered. "What can we do for you?"
"Professor McGonagall's downstairs, Lily. She wants to talk to you."
"Great," I muttered. "I wonder what she wants." Then out loud I said, "Go on to Care of Magical Creatures without me. I'll meet you down there."
Claudia and Megan nodded. I left the room just as Megan said, "Damn it, I've lost my notebook!"
I followed Janey down into the common room where Professor McGonagall was waiting. She was stamping her foot and breathing heavily.
"You wanted to speak to me Professor?"
"Actually, Miss Evans, Professor Flitwick would like to speak to you. I was only sent to fetch you. Please go to his classroom."
"But Professor, I have Care of Magical Creatures now! I'll be late!"
"I'm sure that Professor Flitwick will write you an excuse. Now hurry up."
I ran all the way to the Charms classroom and unfortunately arrived at the same time as his other students. That meant I was facing a room full of sixth year Slytherins and my face was flushed and I was out of breath. Just perfect. Of course, Snape and his crony, Lucius Malfoy, were smirking at me from the back.
I had to tap Professor Flitwick three times before he noticed me.
"Ah, Miss Evans, good. I need a favor from you. I need you to tutor one of my students who is not doing so well in my class. Seeing as you are my best student, I thought that you could help him."
I flushed. He had never called me his best student before. I was very flattered. "I don't know, Professor, I have so much work of my own to do."
"Tell you what, if you agree to tutor this student until his scores come up, then you don't have to take my end-of-the-year exam."
My jaw dropped. I wouldn't have to take his exam in exchange for tutoring some pathetic loser! There was no way I could pass up this opportunity.
"Alright, Professor, I'll tutor. Who is it I'm tutoring anyway?"
"Your student will be James Potter. He needs to raise his scores past passing or he'll be removed as Prefect."
I had stopped listening after the words James Potter. No!
"There has to be someone else who can tutor him! I can't, I can't tutor James Potter!"
"Yes you can, Miss Evans. I suggest you locate him and determine a schedule. I'll write a note for Professor Kettleburn."
Potter and I both have Care of Magical Creatures. The class I was currently late for. So I had no choice but to agree to tutor him. It would not be fun and it would certainly not be easy. Potter was a nightmare.
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"Evans is a nightmare, honestly," I complained to Sirius. "How on earth is she supposed to help me when we can't stand talking to each other?"
Sirius shook his head and sat down in the bleachers. For some reason, Professor Kettleburn asked us to meet on the Quidditch pitch today.
"I don't know, Prongs, but there has to be at least one redeeming quality about her. Try to accentuate the positives. What about her looks? She's very pretty."
"What?!"
Sirius snorted. "Don't pretend you never noticed. Lily Evans is gorgeous. Too bad she's wound so tight."
"I thought your crush of the week was on her friend Megan," I replied smugly.
"It is, but that doesn't mean I can't say another girl is pretty. It's not a crime you know."
"Both of you shut up," Remus interjected, "the Professor's coming."
Professor Kettleburn was walking our way carrying a cage and behind him were six Hufflepuffs carrying broomsticks.
"We're going to have a fun class today, students. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, has allowed me to teach a lesson on the Snidget. As many of you know the Snidget is nearly extinct, but we have not one, but three with us today. Are all of you capable fliers?" Everyone nodded, but looked confused. "Good. Today we see if you make capable Seekers. The rules are simple. Stay on the pitch, which has already been bewitched with repelling charms so that the Snidgets cannot fly away, and don't harm the birds. Try to catch them, but don't hurt them. The object is to catch the Snidgets and return them safely to this cage. Does everyone understand? Good. Stand next to a broom."
I ended up with an old Shooting Star. It wasn't so bad, after all there were a few Moontrimmers out there! There were sixteen brooms laid out and it wasn't until I saw the extra one, that I realized Evans wasn't there yet. I hoped she wouldn't turn up at all, but no such luck. Just as we were mounting our brooms she came running.
"Sorry I'm late, Professor," she said breathlessly, "I was talking with Professor Flitwick and here's my note."
"Fine, fine, Miss Evans. Just take that remaining broom and I'm sure that one of your classmates can explain what we're doing."
I saw her friend Claudia lean in and whisper in her ear. Then Professor Kettleburn released the Snidgets. I yelled to Evans.
"I bet I catch a Snidget before you, Evans!"
I saw her roll her eyes. She does that a lot. Then she yelled back:
"Hey, Potter, your shoe's untied!"
It was? I looked down to see that I was wearing my loafers. When I looked up again, everyone else had taken off. Damn that girl! I quickly pushed off from the ground and zoomed away.
This was what I needed to relax, just the wind on my face. I was soaring above everybody else simply enjoying the feeling of the flight. I opened my eyes and came face to face with a Golden Snidget. Well, why not? So I zoomed after it. It led me on a roller coaster ride of loops and turns and plummets. Finally I faked it out and managed to catch it's fuzzy little body in my hands. It was safe and sound, though it was making a rather obnoxious noise. I looked around to see if anyone else had caught one. Evans was flying around lazily on her broomstick. That annoyed me. If she was such a good flier, why didn't she play Quidditch?
She noticed I was looking at her. Smiling, she held up the Snidget she had caught before flying back to Professor Kettleburn. I did the same, and after depositing the birds we landed.
"Not bad, Potter," Evans said in that self-satisfied tone I knew so well.
"Considering you had a head start I think it was remarkably good."
She shook her red head and laughed. "I can't believe you fell for that! 'Your shoe's untied' really!"
I started to turn red. "You probably have too."
She shook her head again. "So Flitwick wants me to tutor you. Are you really doing that poorly?"
"You weren't my first choice either, Evans. Flitwick says that you have to do it because you're so damn perfect in Charms."
"Temper, temper. I'd rather not tutor you, but if I do, I don't have to take Flitwick's end of the year exam."
"You know you're crazy about me, Evans." Privately I was fuming. She was rewarded for tutoring me while I was punished. All because of one lousy grade.
"I know you make me crazy, Potter. I have to go now. I'll talk to you about the schedule later and I'm warning you now, you'd better not be planning any tricks."
"Me tricks? Never!"
And with a characteristic toss of her hair, Evans left. Sirius and Remus hopped down off of their brooms and walked over to me.
"You know something, Moony?" Sirius said to Remus. "Maybe this is the perfect chance for our Prongs and Tiger to get together."
"And maybe it's time for you to run, Padfoot!" I said with a mock growl. Sirius yelped and took off running.
If Evans didn't really want me to play any practical jokes when she tutored me, that meant I had to stock up on my Dungbombs. This really was war.
A/N: The last chapter was really a prologue to introduce you to my characters. This one will be much longer. Much. Oh and since I'm just kinda having fun with this story, it's going to be very lighthearted and frivolous. I needed a break from the depressing stuff that I was writing, and so this one has lots more pranks. Please review!!!!
Chapter 3: What Happens When You Mix Soap and Pancakes
Evans works fast, I'll give her that. It's only the second day of school and I woke up to find spiders in my bed. Yuck. I just froze them, stepped on them, and threw them out the window. I sure hope I found them all though. Quickly I pulled on my robes and went down for breakfast. Sirius and Peter were still snoring away, but Remus was up and eating. So was Evans.
She just smiled sweetly and waved from farther down the table. "Morning, Potter. Sleep well?"
I ignored her. I had more important things to do. The problem with Evans (or at least one of them) is that she underestimates my intelligence. She never expected me to retaliate so quickly or she would not have left her pancakes unguarded. I needed Remus to help me, because for some reason Remus and Evans are friends. So he distracted her and I poured some liquid soap into her container of pancake syrup. Then I sat back and ate my own. I gave Remus the thumbs up signal and Evans went back to her breakfast. She poured the syrup.
It was brilliant if I do say so myself. See, I would never confine myself to a simple muggle trick. No, I had to make it magic. After Evans took a bite of her soapy pancakes, she burped and a few red bubbles came out of her mouth. It was my own special concoction, a combination of soap, bubbles, a small spell, and red dye. Evans wasn't amused.
"Potter!" she roared. More bubbles trickled out of her mouth.
I just smiled and waved. "Have a nice breakfast, Evans?"
Remus was struggling to keep a straight face. Sirius was going to be mad that he missed out on the fun, but that's what comes from sleeping late. The early bird plays the prank. Or something like that. Anyway, he came down a little while later and started chewing me out for not waking him.
"Calm down, Padfoot, I swear, it was a spur of the moment prank! I was going to try out Bubble-Burst on Snape first, but then Evans filled my bed with spiders."
We both glanced over towards Evans who was trying to drink her pumpkin juice while bubbles kept coming up. Then we looked at each other and burst out laughing. Evans noticed our laughter and made a face.
"What do you think you're laughing at, Potter? Black? I swear, this means war!"
"Doesn't it always?" I replied.
"Just you wait!" Evans was turning red, a special effect of Bubble-Burst. Her friend Claudia tapped her on the shoulder and held up a mirror. Evans shrieked again and ran out of the Hall, with Claudia on her heels. One of the other girls in Evans' dorm, Stacey, looked up from her copy of The Daily Prophet.
"You really should grow up, James," she said.
"Nah, I wouldn't be as much fun," I replied with a grin.
"Leave him alone, Stace. He was only retaliating, Lily started it," Remus said with a small smile.
Stacey turned to him and gave him the full glare from her bright blue eyes. "I truly don't understand you, Remus. How you can watch while your friends torture each other and not interfere?"
Remus shrugged. "Simple, I don't want to be the target of their pranks."
Stacey shook her head and went back to her paper. I caught sight of the headline, upside down. It said, You-Know-Who Takes the Life of Another Family.
"It's getting worse, isn't it," I said quietly. Stacey looked at me in surprise.
"Yes. It is. You see that girl over there?" She pointed to a girl at the Ravenclaw table. "It was her family who was murdered. Her parents and two younger brothers."
Stacey is a strange person. She has absolutely no sense of humor and takes death in stride. To her, the deaths of hundreds is something to pity, but not feel sad about. She's extremely bright and sometimes she shows incredible insight. She also doesn't seem to possess the full range of human emotions. She's kind of scary.
Sirius started babbling about something or other, but I was too busy staring at the Ravenclaw girl. What did it feel like, to one moment have a family, and the next... How could you ever recover? I couldn't imagine losing my parents or my little sister. She had just started Hogwarts this year (Sorted into Gryffindor, naturally) and was so happy to finally be learning magic. It would be so sad if all of that was cut off from her.
"Hello? Earth to James? Are you in there?"
Sirius was shouting in my ear. I started. "What? Sorry, Sirius. What did you say?"
"I said we only have a few minutes to get to class," Sirius said, giving me a funny look. "What were you thinking about?"
"Death," I answered truthfully. Sirius mumbled something that sounded like, "Barking mad!"
"Come on, we have Charms," he said out loud. I let out a small groan.
It's not that I hate Charms, I really don't. Like I said earlier, I'm a Prefect and that means I have good academics. It's just that Charms happens to be Lily Evans' best subject. It's not mine. I'm not terrible, I'm just not great. It's really annoying to see Evans simply flick her wand and perform the charm perfectly. It takes me the whole class to even make progress! She gets to show off and then Professor Flitwick praises her for twenty minutes. It makes me ill.
Transfiguration is my best subject. Professor McGonagall, the Head of Gryffindor and Transfiguration teacher, may not like me much, but she can't deny that I am excellent in her class. It's pretty easy for me too. I don't show off or anything like Evans. I couldn't get praise even if I turned a mouse into a grand piano. McGonagall is very strict, I'm a Marauder. Need I say anything more?
Sirius, Remus, and I walked to Charms together, talking about the pranks we needed to pull and when the next full moon was. We reached the door to Flitwick's room and went inside. I tried to take a seat in the back, but they were already full. I was stuck in the front. Next to Evans. I sat down and tried to ignore her. She did the same.
"Good morning class," Professor Flitwick began in his squeaky voice.
"Good morning," the class chorused.
"Today, I want to work on Song Charms. Not the kind with potency, but the ones that are just to create beautiful music. Write this down, please."
We spent the first half of class taking some complicated notes, then he paired us off into partners. I instinctively moved towards Sirius.
"Let's see, Mr. Lupin and Miss Nevare, Mr. Black and Miss Grover, Mr. Pettigrew and Miss Christopher, Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, Miss Bega and..."
I stopped listening. Flitwick had paired me with Evans! I had to experience her bragging first hand and I just knew she would laugh at me. By the look on her face, Evans wasn't pleased about it either.
"Look, Potter, you'd better get this right. I don't want to lose points."
"Then do it yourself, Evans. I'm no good in Charms."
She sighed exasperated. "It's simple, even for an idiot like yourself. All you do is flick your wand and say the spell. You don't have this much trouble in Transfiguration."
Like I said. Self-absorbed. I gritted my teeth, flicked my wand, and said the spell.
"Symphonius!"
Nothing happened. Big surprise. Evans just rolled her eyes and pushed me out of the way.
"You're doing it wrong. The words and movements need to be smooth, like you're conducting an orchestra. Watch."
She rolled up her sleeves and raised her wand. Then she brought it down with a fluid sweeping motion.
"Symphonius!"
And of course, music flowed from her wand. "Show off," I muttered.
Then, just like always, Professor Flitwick walked over and started to praise her.
"Look, Miss Evans has done it! Superb!"
I just put my head down on the desk and tried to take a nap. The rest of the class passed by at a fairly quick speed. I passed the time by thinking of how the feud between Evans and myself started.
I was on the train in my first year, sitting with my new found friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. We had been discussing Quidditch teams when this small redheaded girl entered our compartment.
"Excuse me," she said, "but may I sit here? Everywhere else is full."
"Sure," we had all replied. She sat down next to me.
"I'm Lily Evans," she said.
We all introduced ourselves. I started talking about Quidditch and Evans made a face. She's very good at making faces.
"I don't see what's so great about Quidditch. Everyone seems to be talking about it!"
My jaw dropped. "That's because it's only the greatest sport ever! It's fantastic, it's brilliant!"
Evans shrugged. "It's just a sport. What's the big deal? Are you some hotshot on a broom or something?"
I could feel myself turning red. "I bet I'm better than you!"
"That wouldn't be hard," she replied, "seeing as I'm muggleborn and have never been on a broom in my life."
I glared at her. "Well, then I bet I'm better at you in school."
"We'll see. I may be muggleborn, but I'm probably smarter than some daft jock!"
I was so angry that I had pulled out my wand. She pulled hers out as well and we stood facing each other. Luckily Remus stepped in and played peacemaker.
"Relax, both of you. Neither of you know enough magic to do anything anyway. Just calm down."
My anger subsided and I sat down next to Sirius. Evans tossed her head and left the compartment.
"That girl is definitely Slytherin material," I remarked to my friends.
I was brought back to the present by Professor Flitwick's voice. He asked me to stay after the class. I just realized that the bell had rung and I was still sitting at my desk. I was worried that Flitwick was going to take points away for my daydreaming, but he just wanted to talk.
"Mr. Potter, I realize that you are a Prefect and have more responsibilities, but I'm afraid we'll have to remove you from your Prefect position if your scores in my class don't come up. I recommend that you get a tutor. For a little while, anyway."
I was horrified. I hadn't realized that my grades in Charms were so bad. Well, maybe Remus could tutor me, he was a good student.
"I'm sure that Miss Evans would be happy to tutor you," Flitwick was saying.
"What!" I shouted. "Lily Evans, tutor me? I can't be doing that badly! Why are you punishing me?"
Professor Flitwick gave me a funny look. "Miss Evans is the best Charms student I have. I'm sure that she could help you. After all, Mr. Potter, you're not stupid, you just don't pay attention. I'll speak to Miss Evans."
I couldn't believe this. I not only had to be tutored, but Evans had to be my tutor! How unfair could this day get?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I thought that the spiders in his bed were a stroke of genius. I don't like spiders much myself, but I managed to dump a box of them in his bed. I doubt very much that he found them all. Remind me not to go into the boy's dormitory for awhile. I certainly didn't think Potter would be able to get even so quickly! Those damn bubbles would have kept coming up if Stacey hadn't removed the spell. Then I just had to deal with the taste of soap in my mouth. And at breakfast I was turning red! Literally! I knew how to take care of that one though, and I made it to Charms normal color and bubble free. I will make Potter pay!
I was in Charms waiting for class to begin when I couldn't help noticing that Potter hadn't shown up yet. In fact, neither had his friends. It was too much to hope for that they'd be late, and sure enough they came barging in right before the bell rang. Potter and crew made their way towards the back. Typical. There was only one problem. There weren't enough seats in the back and Potter had to look elsewhere. The only available seat was in the front. Next to me.
I did my best to ignore him. How was I supposed to know that Flitwick was going to partner us together? He had to know that we couldn't stand each other, it's not like it's a secret. Professor McGonagall has gotten so tired of our bickering that she refuses to let us sit near each other. Apparently Flitwick didn't get the owl. We were learning Song Charms which can be immensely difficult or extremely simple depending on your ability to focus.
Potter doesn't have that ability.
"You're doing it wrong," I said exasperated. "The words and movements need to be smooth, like you're conducting an orchestra. Watch. Symphonius!"
And music poured from my wand. I think that Potter called me a showoff, but I can't be certain. Professor Flitwick came over and congratulated me. I blushed with pride. I love Charms, it's my best subject. It's not Potter's. He spent the rest of the class with his head on his desk. I couldn't wait to leave.
After Charms we had a little while before we had to go to Care of Magical Creatures, so Claudia, Megan, and I ran up to our dormitory to grab our books. Stacey has Study of Ancient Runes that period so she had already gone. I threw myself onto my bed and screamed into my pillow.
"Potter is so infuriating! Why does he have to be such a prick?"
"A prick, most certainly," Megan said, rummaging around under her bed. Megan can never find anything. "But a cute prick."
I nearly fell off of my bed. "I must have heard you wrong, Meg. Did you just call Potter cute?"
"Aha!" she cried triumphantly and pulled out her copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. "Yes, Scarlet, I did call James Potter cute. But like I said, he's a prick. Even you can't deny that he's cute. Well, you could try, but we wouldn't believe you."
I turned to Claudia. "Do you think he's cute?"
She looked at me funny. "Sure. He's cute, he's very cute, but he's Potter which means that neither of us would ever act on it. You can think he's cute and still not like him. Hell, a lot of the handsome boys in this school are twits. It's a Narcissus complex."
There she goes spouting psychology again. I didn't know what to think. My two best friends just admitted that they think Potter is cute! Did I think he is cute? No, absolutely not. He's Potter which means he's not allowed to be cute. Unfortunately I knew that most of the female population at Hogwarts would disagree with me and two of them slept in my dorm.
I could never think that Potter was cute. He's a twerp and has been one ever since our first meeting. I still remember it perfectly. I had come into his compartment and asked to sit down. He and his friends said sure.
Then Potter started talking about Quidditch. I just asked what was so great about it and he was completely offended! He claimed he'd be better on a broom that me, and I told him I didn't doubt it because I had never been on a broom in my life. Want to know a secret? I actually fly very well. It seems to come naturally to me. Claudia tried to convince me to try out for Quidditch, but I don't like sports of any kind. I just like to fly.
Someone was knocking on our door. Megan got up to let the person in.
"Oh, hulllo, Janey," I said to the small girl who had just entered. "What can we do for you?"
"Professor McGonagall's downstairs, Lily. She wants to talk to you."
"Great," I muttered. "I wonder what she wants." Then out loud I said, "Go on to Care of Magical Creatures without me. I'll meet you down there."
Claudia and Megan nodded. I left the room just as Megan said, "Damn it, I've lost my notebook!"
I followed Janey down into the common room where Professor McGonagall was waiting. She was stamping her foot and breathing heavily.
"You wanted to speak to me Professor?"
"Actually, Miss Evans, Professor Flitwick would like to speak to you. I was only sent to fetch you. Please go to his classroom."
"But Professor, I have Care of Magical Creatures now! I'll be late!"
"I'm sure that Professor Flitwick will write you an excuse. Now hurry up."
I ran all the way to the Charms classroom and unfortunately arrived at the same time as his other students. That meant I was facing a room full of sixth year Slytherins and my face was flushed and I was out of breath. Just perfect. Of course, Snape and his crony, Lucius Malfoy, were smirking at me from the back.
I had to tap Professor Flitwick three times before he noticed me.
"Ah, Miss Evans, good. I need a favor from you. I need you to tutor one of my students who is not doing so well in my class. Seeing as you are my best student, I thought that you could help him."
I flushed. He had never called me his best student before. I was very flattered. "I don't know, Professor, I have so much work of my own to do."
"Tell you what, if you agree to tutor this student until his scores come up, then you don't have to take my end-of-the-year exam."
My jaw dropped. I wouldn't have to take his exam in exchange for tutoring some pathetic loser! There was no way I could pass up this opportunity.
"Alright, Professor, I'll tutor. Who is it I'm tutoring anyway?"
"Your student will be James Potter. He needs to raise his scores past passing or he'll be removed as Prefect."
I had stopped listening after the words James Potter. No!
"There has to be someone else who can tutor him! I can't, I can't tutor James Potter!"
"Yes you can, Miss Evans. I suggest you locate him and determine a schedule. I'll write a note for Professor Kettleburn."
Potter and I both have Care of Magical Creatures. The class I was currently late for. So I had no choice but to agree to tutor him. It would not be fun and it would certainly not be easy. Potter was a nightmare.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Evans is a nightmare, honestly," I complained to Sirius. "How on earth is she supposed to help me when we can't stand talking to each other?"
Sirius shook his head and sat down in the bleachers. For some reason, Professor Kettleburn asked us to meet on the Quidditch pitch today.
"I don't know, Prongs, but there has to be at least one redeeming quality about her. Try to accentuate the positives. What about her looks? She's very pretty."
"What?!"
Sirius snorted. "Don't pretend you never noticed. Lily Evans is gorgeous. Too bad she's wound so tight."
"I thought your crush of the week was on her friend Megan," I replied smugly.
"It is, but that doesn't mean I can't say another girl is pretty. It's not a crime you know."
"Both of you shut up," Remus interjected, "the Professor's coming."
Professor Kettleburn was walking our way carrying a cage and behind him were six Hufflepuffs carrying broomsticks.
"We're going to have a fun class today, students. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, has allowed me to teach a lesson on the Snidget. As many of you know the Snidget is nearly extinct, but we have not one, but three with us today. Are all of you capable fliers?" Everyone nodded, but looked confused. "Good. Today we see if you make capable Seekers. The rules are simple. Stay on the pitch, which has already been bewitched with repelling charms so that the Snidgets cannot fly away, and don't harm the birds. Try to catch them, but don't hurt them. The object is to catch the Snidgets and return them safely to this cage. Does everyone understand? Good. Stand next to a broom."
I ended up with an old Shooting Star. It wasn't so bad, after all there were a few Moontrimmers out there! There were sixteen brooms laid out and it wasn't until I saw the extra one, that I realized Evans wasn't there yet. I hoped she wouldn't turn up at all, but no such luck. Just as we were mounting our brooms she came running.
"Sorry I'm late, Professor," she said breathlessly, "I was talking with Professor Flitwick and here's my note."
"Fine, fine, Miss Evans. Just take that remaining broom and I'm sure that one of your classmates can explain what we're doing."
I saw her friend Claudia lean in and whisper in her ear. Then Professor Kettleburn released the Snidgets. I yelled to Evans.
"I bet I catch a Snidget before you, Evans!"
I saw her roll her eyes. She does that a lot. Then she yelled back:
"Hey, Potter, your shoe's untied!"
It was? I looked down to see that I was wearing my loafers. When I looked up again, everyone else had taken off. Damn that girl! I quickly pushed off from the ground and zoomed away.
This was what I needed to relax, just the wind on my face. I was soaring above everybody else simply enjoying the feeling of the flight. I opened my eyes and came face to face with a Golden Snidget. Well, why not? So I zoomed after it. It led me on a roller coaster ride of loops and turns and plummets. Finally I faked it out and managed to catch it's fuzzy little body in my hands. It was safe and sound, though it was making a rather obnoxious noise. I looked around to see if anyone else had caught one. Evans was flying around lazily on her broomstick. That annoyed me. If she was such a good flier, why didn't she play Quidditch?
She noticed I was looking at her. Smiling, she held up the Snidget she had caught before flying back to Professor Kettleburn. I did the same, and after depositing the birds we landed.
"Not bad, Potter," Evans said in that self-satisfied tone I knew so well.
"Considering you had a head start I think it was remarkably good."
She shook her red head and laughed. "I can't believe you fell for that! 'Your shoe's untied' really!"
I started to turn red. "You probably have too."
She shook her head again. "So Flitwick wants me to tutor you. Are you really doing that poorly?"
"You weren't my first choice either, Evans. Flitwick says that you have to do it because you're so damn perfect in Charms."
"Temper, temper. I'd rather not tutor you, but if I do, I don't have to take Flitwick's end of the year exam."
"You know you're crazy about me, Evans." Privately I was fuming. She was rewarded for tutoring me while I was punished. All because of one lousy grade.
"I know you make me crazy, Potter. I have to go now. I'll talk to you about the schedule later and I'm warning you now, you'd better not be planning any tricks."
"Me tricks? Never!"
And with a characteristic toss of her hair, Evans left. Sirius and Remus hopped down off of their brooms and walked over to me.
"You know something, Moony?" Sirius said to Remus. "Maybe this is the perfect chance for our Prongs and Tiger to get together."
"And maybe it's time for you to run, Padfoot!" I said with a mock growl. Sirius yelped and took off running.
If Evans didn't really want me to play any practical jokes when she tutored me, that meant I had to stock up on my Dungbombs. This really was war.
