Disclaimer: None of the following is my property except for the students in Lily's dorm. Everything else is J.K. Rowling's and Warner Brothers, I guess.

A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than the last one, but still a decent length. Tell me what you think, and things will get interesting next chapter.

Chapter 4: Crack an Egg on Your Head and Let the Yolk Run Down

Nothing but bad can come from tutoring Potter. I just know it. I've got this feeling. Something's going to happen and it's not going to be pretty.

"Lily! Scarlet! WAKE UP!"

That was Claudia screaming in my ear. I groaned and turned away. It was Saturday for crying out loud! But she insisted on shaking me until I got up. Finally I gave in.

"Claudia, it's Saturday. Why are you making me get up so early?"

"Because I don't want you to miss breakfast. You're tutoring James today and you need every meal you can get."

I sat straight up in my bed, ignoring the hair that fell across my face. "Did you just say that I'm tutoring James today? Why are you calling him James?"

"Because that's his name." But Claudia was avoiding my stare. "Never mind. Get up."

Groaning I pulled myself out of bed. Then I screeched and jumped right back in. The floor was cold! It was only September, why was it so cold? Well, the castle is made of stone. This time I pulled on my slippers before getting out of bed.

"I wish I was sick. The last thing I want to do is tutor Potter today! How do you stand playing Quidditch with him, Claudia? He's impossible!"

Claudia was ignoring me. She was trying to decide what to wear today. "Yes, Scarlet, the entire school knows your opinions on Potter."

"Except Flitwick," I muttered.

"Forget it. You tutor James for a few weeks and you don't have to take Flitwick's end of the year exam! You are definitely getting the better end of the deal."

"I guess you're right." That thought made me slightly happier. "Let's go down to breakfast. I guess Meg and Stace are already there."

Claudia started to giggle. "Um, Scarlet, I don't think you want to go to breakfast in your night-dress."

I looked down. Sure enough, I was still in my night-dress. I laughed. "Thanks, Claud, I don't know what Potter would say if I went to breakfast like this."

I quickly got dressed and Claudia and I went down to the Great Hall. Breakfast was muffins and oatmeal. Blecch. I really hate oatmeal so I stocked up on muffins.

"Slow down, Evans, you don't want to get fat, do you?"

I recognized that voice. Even if he hadn't tipped me off by using my surname, I would have recognized Potter's voice. Now that's a disgusting thought, that I recognize Potter's voice.

"Finish stuffing your face, Potter, and meet me in the library. I want to get this done with as soon as possible."

"Forget it, Evans," Potter said as he buttered a muffin. "I've got Quidditch practice."

I turned to Claudia. "Is he telling the truth?"

"Yes," she answered, turning slightly red. "All morning."

"We'd better get going, Claudia," Potter said after checking his watch, "Patrice doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Coming," Claudia replied. She turned to me. "See you later, okay?"

"Fine." I stood up and walked back to Gryffindor common room. I grabbed a few books, finished a Potions essay, and practiced my Transfiguration. Then after an hour passed by I went down to the Quidditch pitch. At least Claudia wasn't lying to me. They really were practicing Quidditch.

"Evans!" Potter cried in a horrified voice. "What are you doing here? I told you I had Quidditch practice, so sod off!"

I managed to stay calm and climbed up into the bleachers. "I know, Potter, so I'll sit here and wait until you're finished. Then we'll go to the library and I'll force Charms down your throat."

I couldn't believe it! I had actually reduced Potter to a sate of speechlessness—for a moment anyway. Before he could respond the Gryffindor Quidditch team Captain, Patrice Meyers, yelled at him.

"Potter! Get back over here and stop talking to your girlfriend!"

I screamed, "I am not his girlfriend!" while at the same time Potter yelled, "She's not my girlfriend!"

Patrice didn't seem to care. "Then you shouldn't have any problem coming over here. Evans, right?" I nodded. "If you're going to watch practice, I can't have you disturbing my players, so stay quiet."

Potter smirked before flying off on his Nimbus 1000. I sat down and silently fumed. Now, I sort of enjoy actual Quidditch games. Quidditch practice is a completely different thing and I was truly glad that I had never tried out for the team. Practices are boring! All they do is run drills and fly around. According to Claudia in the first hour they listen to Patrice's 'strategies'. I was glad that I missed that. It was lunch before they stopped. Of course Potter headed immediately to the Great Hall to stuff his face again. I waited for Claudia and we walked together.

"Sorry," Claudia immediately apologized, "I forgot that we had practice today."

"It's alright. It's not your fault. I wonder what's for lunch?"

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Never in a million years would I have imagined that Evans would show up at Quidditch practice. I was completely surprised and disgusted. Then she proceeded to sit down and watch the entire practice! Luckily, Patrice didn't call off practice until lunch time, so I had another excuse to avoid Evans. I really didn't want her to tutor me, but she seemed to be fixated on the idea and there was no escaping her forever.

Sirius sat down next to me at the table and Remus sat across from us. Peter joined us a little later and sat down next to Remus.

"What have you three been up to?" I asked of my friends.

Sirius leaned in. "We went to Honeydukes," he whispered.

"Without me?" I was mad.

"Sorry, Prongs, but you had practice. We were bored. We brought you some Pepper Imps and Exploding Bon Bons," Remus said.

"Well, I do love Exploding Bon Bons," I said slowly, "but you still should have waited for me!"

"But aren't you being tutored this afternoon?" Peter asked, confused.

"Supposedly," I replied, trying to keep my voice down so that Evans wouldn't hear me. It didn't work.

"Definitely, Potter. You can't escape me this time. I want to get this over with and I assume that you want to stay a Prefect."

I sighed. "Fine, Evans. If you're finished let's go."

Together we stood up from the table and as I passed by Sirius on my way out he whispered:

"Have fun, Prongs, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

I whispered back, "That doesn't limit me very much then. Have fun yourself."

I didn't look back, but I imagine that Sirius was looking annoyed. Evans led me straight to the library. We stopped just outside the door.

"Wait," I said. "I don't have my books."

"You don't need them," she replied. "I have mine. Now, sit down!"

I sat. Evans didn't leave me much choice. She sat down across from me.

"Okay, now, I assume that you're at least capable of a Summoning Charm, correct?"

I was indignant. "Of course I can execute a Summoning Charm. Fourth years learn that."

"Fine. Then Summon this book to you."

I tried it. "Accio Charms book!"

Well, the book moved, it just went flying over my head and hit a third year Slytherin. Madam Pince yelled at me. Evans started laughing.

"Oh shut it, Evans. At least the book moved!"

She was trying to contain her laughter and not succeeding. "I, oh dear, ha, just can't believe, ha ha, that you can't Summon things. You're worse off than I thought." Then she sobered. "We could be here all day."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," I grumbled. "Let me try it again. Accio Charms book!"

This time it hit a Hufflepuff. I put my head down on the table. "I don't know what's wrong! I've done this before!"

Evans looked at me skeptically. "Sure, Potter. Your problem is that you don't concentrate! Try it again."

"Accio Charms book!"

* * *

It was past dinner time. Everyone had left the library for fear of being hit by a flying book. I still couldn't do it right! I was really getting frustrated and matters weren't helped when Snape came into the library just to laugh at me.

"Well, well, Potter. Are you really that pathetic that you have to be tutored by a Mudblood?"

"Sod off, Snape," Evans said, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Just a minute, Evans. I have things to say to Potter."

"Sod off, Snape," I echoed. "We're busy."

"Surely you haven't spent all day in here studying. Perhaps there's been a little snogging?"

"Oh, you are an idiot, Snape. Evans and I can't stand each other, we wouldn't snog if someone paid us!" I really hated that greaseball.

"Oh, I understand, after all who would want to snog with a Mudblood?" Snape said grinning evilly.

I could tell that Evans was about to take out her wand and curse him, so I stepped in and said something.

"It has nothing to do with her parentage. I don't like her, she doesn't like me, and I have a girlfriend you prat!"

Snape didn't say anything. He left still with that evil smirk on his disgusting face. Evans looked at me curiously.

"Did you just say that to get rid of Snape, or do you really have a girlfriend?"

"Not that it's any business of yours, Evans," I said rudely, "but I do have a girlfriend. Her name's Felicity Kassington. She goes to Beauxbatons."

"Oh."

I couldn't stand the silence. I had to say something. "So, what's next."

Evans looked at me in complete surprise. "Next? You can't even master a Summoning Charm! I don't know how you possibly made it this far, and a Prefect no less! You're Transfiguration marks must be absolutely dazzling! You have absolutely no concentration and your wand work is shoddy."

"Do you have to be so brutal?"

She paused before replying. "Yes, isn't that what we do? Belittle each other? You can't expect me to be nice to you. We don't like each other, remember?"

There was a minute's silence, then Evans yawned. "I'm so tired. We've been here all day." She glanced at her watch. "We've missed dinner! No wonder I'm famished! I've got to eat, Potter."

"Look, Evans, I'm hungry too, but dinner is long over." Then a brilliant idea hit me. "Wait, I know what we can do. I'll be right back."

I ran up to the common room. Sirius and Remus were playing chess, so they didn't notice me slip in. I quickly went up to our dorm and grabbed something out of my trunk. Then I ran back to the library.

"So what's this brilliant plan of yours?" Evans asked impatiently.

"We're going to sneak down to the kitchens and pilfer food."

"Are you barmy? We'll get in so much trouble! What if we get caught?"

"We can't get caught if no one can see us," I answered and pulled out my cloak. I flung it over my head. I heard Evans gasp.

"An invisibility cloak! Where on earth did you get that, Potter?"

"It was my dad's. So are you coming, or would you rather starve to death?"

Evans hesitated. "We could still get in so much trouble! If you go, I'll have to report you, you know."

"Not if you come too." And before she could move, I threw the cloak over her head and grabbed her wrist.

"Ouch, Potter, let go of me!" Evans hissed. "You're twisting my arm!"

"Oops, sorry. Now be quiet and just follow me."

"Like I have a choice," she muttered viciously.

I pulled her down many corridors and passageways until we reached a large picture of a bowl of fruit.

"Just perfect, Potter, are we lost? Damn you, you're going to get us into trouble!"

"I'm not lost," I said as calmly as possible. Then I reached out and tickled the pear. The painting swung open. I quickly pulled Evans through the opening and took off the cloak. We were suddenly surrounded by hundreds of house elves. I could feel Evans seize up.

"Relax, they're just House Elves," I whispered to her.

"I know that," she whispered back irritably.

"What can Gelly do for you sir and miss?" one elf with a particularly squeaky voice asked.

"We missed dinner, Gelly," I said, "could we please have something to eat?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth several elves came rushing over with a large ham and others followed with a bowl of potatoes. I think that Evans was speechless. I spotted with glee that the House Elves were making breakfast already. They started to put it out on the various tables, protected with freshness charms so that the food didn't get disgusting.

"Is that the Slytherins' food?" I asked with a devilish grin. Evans looked at me strangely, but one of the House elves nodded. "Good, now, I happen to know that the Slytherins' like a special seasoning in their breakfast." I pulled out a small bottle out of my robes and sprinkled it on all of their food. Evans watched with an open mouth.

"What did you put in their food?" Evans asked curiously.

"Ichabod's Incredible Itching Potion. Tomorrow morning the Slytherin's will be squirming in their seats."

I felt a tugging on my robes and looked down. It was one of the elves I had become friendly with during my many trips to the kitchens.

"What happened to Miss Sonia Marks, Mr. James Potter, sir?"

Evans who had been munching on a piece of ham almost spit it out. "Sonia Marks, the Ravenclaw? You brought her here?" She started to laugh. "Is that what you do to impress girls, Potter, bring them to the kitchens?"

I was turning red. Evans is the only person I know who can make me turn red from embarrassment. "Don't get your hopes up, Evans. You're the last girl I would try to impress."

"Likewise, I'm sure. Now let's get out of here."

We made it back to the Gryffindor common room without getting caught. I took the cloak off of us and we started to walk up to our dorms. I turned to look at Evans.

"So, tutoring tomorrow?" I asked.

She actually smiled! "You can use all of the help you can get, so I guess. Sure."

I was so stunned that she had smiled at me that I found myself smiling at her! We stood that way for a minute before we came to our senses and ran into our respective rooms. I had expected that the other fellows would be asleep, but I guess it was too early. Sirius was reading a copy of Manly Wizards and Their Motorbikes, Remus was reading his Potions book, and Peter was snoring in his bed, his clothes still on. He woke up when I came in.

Then they all attacked me at once.

"So, how bad was it?" Remus queried.

"Did you take her to the kitchens?" Sirius asked.

"Did you learn anything?" Peter inquired.

"Relax and I might tell you something," I said smugly. I lay down on my bed with my hands behind my head. My friends were all crowded around my bed. I was debating whether or not to, er, embellish the truth.

"Well, you know that we started studying in the library, right?..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'm not quite sure how I made it back to my room. What an afternoon! I couldn't believe how incompetent Potter is! Then he dragged me down to the kitchens. I really can't believe he's a Prefect, if that's what he does all the time, then no wonder he's had a million detentions!

I hate to admit it, even in the pages of this very secret diary, but when Potter smiled at me I felt my heart flutter. He does have an amazing smile. What am I saying? Oh, no. I can't think Potter's cute, I just can't! But Claudia did say you can think that a boy is cute and still not like him. It's his personality that I don't like. Yes, that'll do. He's cute, but a prat. He's just so rude! I feel much better having gotten that off my chest.

My friends were waiting for me when I returned.

"Was it terrible?" Megan wanted to know.

"Is James really bad in Charms?" Claudia asked.

"You shouldn't have been so late. You're lucky that you weren't caught." That was from Stacey, of course.

"It wasn't so terrible," I admitted. "But it was really dull. Potter is really bad in Charms. It took him all day to execute a half-way decent Summoning charm!"

"We're not all perfect in Charms, Scarlet," Claudia said with a smile.

"Enough about James," Megan said dismissively. "Are we pulling the prank or not?"

"Of course we are," I said excitedly. "Did you get them?"

"Yes, but I had a hard time explaining to my father why I needed a couple dozen enchanted eggs. I had to tell him we were taking a Magical Cooking class. Now he expects me to know how to make chicken!"

"Don't worry, Meg," I said as soon as I stopped laughing, "I can teach you to make chicken if you really want to learn, but now we have more important things to do. Follow me, ladies."

Claudia and Megan came with me, but Stacey stayed behind, like always. We have an arrangement. She doesn't tell about our practical jokes, and we don't tell the entire school that Stacey has a crush on Jonathan Bones, the Head Boy and a Hufflepuff. I thought it was kind of sweet and one of the few human emotions I've seen Stacey express.

Anyway, my two best friends and I snuck out of bed and down into the common room where we checked to make sure that we had everything. Then we threw on the invisibility cloak that Megan had just bought. That's right, Megan has an invisibility cloak. That's why I was so surprised when Potter threw on his. I thought he had stolen it from my friend!

We carefully made it down to the Great Hall. It was completely empty which was all the better for us. Then we set up the joke. It was genius. Over each Slytherin's seat we charmed an egg to hover above their heads. Then we made them invisible. Once a Slytherin sat down the egg would crack, oozing the yolk over their heads. On top of that these were enchanted eggs so the yolk were different colors and would dye the Slytherins' hair colors. Then we left after making sure that we had left no evidence behind. I had the best night's sleep I had had in a long time.

When we woke the next morning, Claudia, Megan, and I couldn't wait to go down for breakfast. We practically ran down the stairs. It was just as glorious as I had imagined it, in fact, it was better because I had forgotten about the itching potion that Potter had added. It was chaos at the Slytherin table. They were sticky, gooey, itchy messes, and every single one had pink, purple, blue, or green hair. I thought it was an improvement.

Though Dumbledore looked like he was trying not to laugh, he had to be stern.

"Every member of the Slytherin House who has been, er, pranked, please wait in the entry hall and we will attend to you shortly." The Slytherins all filed out looking distinctly grumpy, and Dumbledore turned his attention to the rest of the school. "I do not know who is responsible for this practical joke, and though we all find it amusing, I cannot allow it to happen again. A few Inter-house pranks are permissible, but something of this magnitude means it has gotten out of hand." His eyes quickly glanced over at the Gryffindor table, first looking at Potter and friends, and then his glance fell on me. I tried to look innocent. "Please continue with breakfast."

Of course everyone started talking about it. Potter and his friends were whispering urgently, trying to figure out who else had pulled a prank on the Slytherins. Claudia, Megan, and I said nothing, but I was grinning inside. That'll teach Snape to call me a Mudblood!

I was about to excuse myself from the table when Potter's friend Black called to me.

"Hey, Lily, is it true that you chatted up Jamsie yesterday?"

All eyes were on me. I could feel them. I was absolutely furious. "Who ever told you that, Black?"

He pointed. "James did."

I was enraged to boiling point. Just when I was starting to let go of my animosity towards him, he goes and does this!

"Potter, I hope you have life insurance because you are so dead! You bastard!"

I stormed out of the Great Hall. How dare he? All I did was tutor him yesterday. Well, he can just forget my help from now on, I hope he fails Charms. Why do males make life so difficult?

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Sirius turned towards me. "I take it you made all of that up."

I rolled my eyes. I can do it almost as well as Evans. "Of course I was making it up! You idiot! Why on earth did you say that! Now she hates me more than ever!"

Sirius shrugged. "But you don't like her either, so I don't see why it matters."

I couldn't explain it, not even to my best friend, but it did bother me somehow. I hadn't meant for Evans to hear that. I didn't like her, but I don't know, I didn't want to embarrass her like that.

Oh great. Now I have to figure out someway of apologizing. Why do females make life so difficult?

A/N: just a few thank yous to those kind people who have already reviewed:

Bad Gurl: thanks, but why the tut, tut?
O'Haragal: i'm glad you think so
Riauna: I'm so glad.
Sarah: hey two reviews from you, thanks a bunch!
Starlight Eve: thank you so very much, I will continue!