Chapter 11- Trapped, lost and dreaming
A daydreamer sees not what is real
But what he can see in his mind
An explorer searches not for appeal
But what someone else cannot find
A mountain climber will laugh at grass hills
And when a top of a cliff he'll smirk
A true daredevil will jump at cheap thrills
And scoff at the mention of work
A maid will scowl at dirty floors
And bend down to clean up the mess
A beggar will only ask for more
And whine how he has so much less
Some people speak, while others they hide
Never letting on what they know
Some people try to show what's inside
But I never let it all show
Snowdazed
Syaoran sat by the door of the cell, which the henchmen had shoved them into about two hours before, with Sakura's head resting on his legs. She was breathing silently and shortly, still unconscious. Dried blood smothered one side of her face, and Syaoran was trying to get it off her face without hurting or waking her.
He stared at her long eyelashes casting shadows on her pale face, and her full lips and her little cute nose. [1]
He snapped out his daze when he heard a shuffling sound from the back of the dark cell.
Rats? He decided then that he really did hate captivity. He realized there could be a possibility of danger and shifted closer to the door, being careful not to drop Sakura's head.
A sound of sniffling came from closer to him, and a pair of eyes leered out of the darkness. They were cerulean blue, and they lit up brightly when they saw Sakura. Nervous, Syaoran pulled Sakura's unconscious form into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her protectively.
The eyes closed and he couldn't see anything, but he heard and excited noise, and someone jumping up and down.
'Calm. Down.'
Syaoran froze and tightened his grip on Sakura, what was going on? Sakura's eyes fluttered and she shifted against his chest.
Quite suddenly lights flickered on, and Syaoran winced at the brightness. He scrunched his eyes shut and ducked his head down, praying nothing would happen, worse than what already had happened.
He opened his deep brown eyes and saw two beings standing over him. One was male, and had scruff blue hair and haunted eyes, the other was female and had light red hair and the same cerulean blue eyes that had appeared in the darkness. The female smiled excitedly and tugged at Syaoran's arms, trying to get to Sakura. Syaoran tightened his hold. The boy pushed the girl away lightly.
'Calm, I said, Inia, calm,' he said in a hollow voice. The girl whimpered and scurried away into the shadows.
Syaoran watched her go…and wondered; the cell appeared to be amazingly big in size. How many captives did it hold?
There were sounds of others snuffling in the back, but there were few actual voices, just the sound of whimpers and sobs. Syaoran looked at Sakura's head resting on his chest, her eyes still not open. 'Sakura…' he whispered, shaking her slightly. The boy was still standing over him, but he was looking where the girl had scampered off too.
'Sakura…'
'…No food now…Kero-chan.' She mumbled, wincing, 'head hurts.'
'Sakura…' Syaoran shook her again, gave up, and poked her in the back. 'Sakura,' he hissed. She didn't wake, but carried on mumbling about Kero and food. Defeated Syaoran bothered her no more.
The blue haired boy turned to him, 'Is…she okay?' He asked slowly.
Syaoran nodded quickly in reply. The boy understood Syaoran's silence…why should he talk to someone who could be working for the enemy.
'I am Ralon Higoshi. [2]'
Syaoran raised an eyebrow, 'Why are you here?'
'For the same reason you and Sakura are…only, what could be your fate has already befallen me.'
Syaoran felt his heart sink, so these were the ruined Captors, the ones Korede had torn apart to achieve her goals and to gain power. He shuddered and looked up and the boy. His eyes met haunted ones.
'You are…were a CardCaptor?'
The boy nodded solemnly, 'We all were…and we still are, we just lack the power needed to gain the cards, our…I don't know what's happened to us…but, don't let it happen to Sakura-san…she is most powerful, like, ruler of us all…she could be able to do what none of us can and keep her power.'
'How?'
'She's the only one…the only of all of us to of captured all the cards and transform them to hers…'
'So she's the most powerful.'
'More powerful than Korede, possibly, I don't know…it's hard to judge how much power she's gathered,' Ralon tilted his head and turned his empty gaze to Sakura, 'she may be our only hope.'
Syaoran shifted uneasily, he didn't like this, he didn't want to be here and he has no idea why he had wanted to go in Sakura's place now.
Because you…love- Syaoran shook his head roughly. He didn't have time to go crazy now. 'I don't think…your kidding me right?'
'Kidding? I wouldn't with a matter such as this. If Sakura-san is going to be okay, there is no point in continuing this conversation.'
'What if she doesn't wake up?' Syaoran asked hurriedly as Ralon stood.
'She will.'
*
Sakura's head was pounding and even though she wanted to wake up, she couldn't seem to force her eyes open.
She was having this weird dream, and she couldn't stand it, couldn't stand trying to piece the nonsense together. She felt so lost.
The world seemed black, but all she could see was light. Disembodied voices floated to her ears and she just couldn't pick out to whom they belonged, no matter how close she listened, the voices were snatched away as soon as sound reached her ears. And when she heard a sentence or too, her head couldn't make head nor tail of it. She wanted to reach out and grab hold of something, to steady herself, but there was nothing to hold and she was forced to feel wobbly and floaty.
"Eurgh," she groaned, trying to force her eyes open, although they were open in her mind, in her dream.
/I want to wake up! I want to wake up! / She chanted herself.
The dream spiralled downwards and Sakura felt herself lurch forward, but not actually move. The darkness grew darker and the lightness, well, grew lighter. Her head continued to throb, as she tried to grasp some bit of meaning behind what was going on.
"Sakura! Sakura!"
Sakura turned and was greeted with the same mix of light and dark. /What's happening? Is this a sign that I'm going insane? /
Tomoyo appeared, and the dark and light swirled into a background. Sakura's bedroom.
"Sakura! Sakura!"
Sakura blinked and reached out to steady herself against her desk. Her hands slid through it and she stumbled.
"Sakura! I've had this brilliant idea! You just need to wear cuter costumes! And work on your pose!"
"Huh? Tomoyo, what are you on about?"
"Capturing Clow Cards of course! Tsk, you're not doing very well now are you? I mean-"
Sakura felt more sense fall away from her, and she wanted to grab hold of reality and shake it until she could tell what the hell was going on. Frustration boiled inside her and she wanted to scream.
"Oh, you just have to try on this costume, and this one, and oh, there's some of the cutest little accessories I made Kero-chan, you have to see them!"
"Tomoyo-chan…Tomoyo-chan! Stop, rewind, and make some sense! The Clow Cards are all captured! You were the one who called them the Sakura Cards! I own them!!! It's over, the whole thing. Well maybe not, now this Korede girl wants to-"
"You don't want to wear the costumes I make you?" Tomoyo wailed, her eyes pooling with tears, "Your talking nonsense Sakura! The Clow Cards don't belong to you; Li Syaoran has most of them! And you're failing in your job! Kero-chan even says he wished he hadn't of had to make you a Card Captor now! And if you don't want to wear the costumes I make you, then tell me the truth; don't make up lies! That's not what you should do!"
"Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura's sore head spun, and she groaned. "It's true, it's true, I have the Cards, they're mine, Syaoran-kun doesn't have them all." Her sense slipped again, and Tomoyo blurred out, the scenery changing quickly; from the room, to dark and light, and then changing back again. Sakura found herself in Eriol's home, and she choked back a sob.
"I know I'm dreaming," she uttered to herself, "and I want to wake up, but there's something here…something I need to know, and-" She heard a voice, and she stopped.
"Tsk, I wonder if the Card Captor will realise what a pathetic job she's doing…she should of allowed my descendent to have the cards, she should've just let him do what he was entitled to do," the voice paused, and Sakura knew who is was.
"Eriol-kun?" she whispered.
"Cerberus shouldn't of given her such a task, she's incapable."
"She managed to defeat Yue," another voice uttered.
"Luck, pure luck, she won't be so lucky this time."
Sakura gulped, and her she tried desperately to wake herself up, even so much as to slap herself around the face. She failed in her attempts, and was forced to listen to her worst nightmares, her friends doubts about her capability at her job, her failing as the Card Mistress, and she feared what would be next.
And then, she felt eyes on her, and she looked up. Eriol was looking at her with an expression of interest and superiority.
"See, she can't even stay hidden in shadows, what a pathetic excuse for a Card Captor, let alone a Card Mistress."
Sakura felt as thought she was going through torture, first she was told that all the Cards weren't captured and now it was her failings as their owner.
/But this is a DREAM, you know it, Sakura, just ignore, wake up. / She sobbed.
"Stop it! Stop it!"
Eriol smiled, and nodded to himself, "I see, poor little Card Mistress, can't face the truth," he stepped towards her, "what disappointment you'll face, when you discover," he stepped closer and he was just a foot away from her.
"When I discover what? What?" she screamed.
But as with Tomoyo, Eriol was fading away, the superior smile in place and the cold look in his eyes.
"When I discover what?!"
The dark and light backdrop returned and Sakura's heart pounded, along with her head. She couldn't take it anymore and her thoughts were screaming at whatever part of the body that controlled sleep to allow her to wake up. Whatever it was wouldn't co-operate.
"I can't take anymore," she muttered, reaching out, trying desperately to find something to steady herself with. Her hands met nothing and wanted she scream until her throat was sore and she couldn't talk anymore. She couldn't walk forward, or move much at all, and this inability frustrated her even more. This was a nightmare, it had to be, and there was no way that this was a simple dream. This was worse than the ones she had had so long ago, when she had first started capturing the elusive Clow Cards, not being able to find out the meanings, who was standing on that tower, just gazing at her, had made her think of nightmares.
"Argh, I want to wake up, please let me wake up, anybody? Kami-sama, please?" she pleaded silently, hoping, praying, "I can't face my fears."
Instead of waking up, the dark and light swirled together; making a confusing spiral of the mixed lights, patches of grey, white and black bore down on her, and she felt a tug and her feet moved her towards the centre of the spiral. She tried to steer away, not sure she would like what was held at the centre of the mass of conflicting lights and colours. But the pull was hard and her feet trod a course, almost as though they were following a line, drawn against a straight edge. No matter how many times she tried to fall off course, her feet lead the way, as though she no longer had any control over them. She came to the centre of the spiral and it was just a pinprick of bright white light. She didn't know what made her do it, but she raised her hand to it, and pressed her index finger lightly against it. The pinprick opened up into a wide bright hole, and Sakura was momentarily blinded, and she felt heat on her face.
"Sakura," a whispered voice rang around her head, "Sakura."
Kero popped up in front of her, and started rambling something about pancakes. She saw something behind him, and felt a desperate need to see what it was, so she did the only thing that was possible, and tapped Kero out of the way. He tumbled backwards.
"No food now, Kero, my head hurts." She muttered on that this was not the time for food, even as the image of the Guardian Beast fizzled out. "Not now, Kero." She said, not noticing, her eyes drawn to the image in the distance. Two figures were busying themselves with a picnic, laughing and messing about, enjoying themselves. Sakura looked around, only for a moment, but it was enough to gather the theory of where she was. Penguin park, on a lovely bright sunny day, and she was away from other people, and intruding on these two peoples picnic. But she was drawn closer towards them, an eagerness making her go closer. She wanted to find out what was going on here.
/Curiosity killed the cat, Sakura. / Her conscience warned, as she drew ever nearer.
"I don't care," she replied, without noticing, "I want to know."
/I want to know…something tells me I NEED to know/.
She reached the tree that the couple were sitting under and hide behind it, not sure why, this was a dream after all.
A boys voice filled the air, and Sakura was struck with its familiarity. The couple laughed, but Sakura hadn't heard what was said, she was shocked. That was Syaoran's voice.
She wanted to get a better view and she sidled around the tree, until she was standing directly behind the two people. And she almost fell over. That was HER with Syaoran, and they were all cuddled up, her head resting on his shoulder, talking to him in a hushed voice, glowing almost with happiness.
Sakura felt dizzy, never, not even in her wildest, run away with the moment thoughts, had she even believed she liked Syaoran like this, no, she couldn't, could she?
She did, but this wasn't a dream…so this wasn't supposed to be, everything else had showed fear, and now this was showing happiness…
/It's not supposed to be this way, / something nagged at her, and she agreed. And the world tumbled in, the sun disappeared behind a cloud and Sakura watched as the girl with Syaoran was revealed not to be her at all. It was Meilin, and Sakura knew, then, that this was what was meant to be. This was her fear, not to have Syaoran there. To loose him.
Meilin turned and smiled at Sakura, not a warm friendly smile, but something that struck Sakura hard and made her want to run and never look back. The peaceful, heart-warming scenery vanished and Meilin stood, everything around her turning into the mix of light and darkness. Syaoran vanished, along with the happy picnic. He had never looked around.
"Well, if it isn't the pathetic little Card Mistress and what's this, she looks all heartbroken and scared, aw, a sad sight," Meilin chuckled, "but you knew all along, Syaoran and I are destined to be together! The elders know it, I know it, heck, you've known it for ages, looks like you'll just have to dream away forever …never seeing dreams come true."
Sakura said nothing, and stared solemnly at her feet, her heart beating slowly, as her eyes teared up. She wanted to run, run far away, and never come back. Hide away from all that she feared and never show herself again.
"What's the matter? Truth hurting?"
/It's a dream, a dream, a goddamn dream, ignore her, this is just you, nothing to do with Meilin, or anyone else, it's just your niggling fears, stupid fears./
Sakura screamed, "Your not real! Your not real1 Not REAL! You're all a figment of my imagination! Go AWAY!"
Meilin image only laughed, "You'll discover, and when you do, you won't like it, you'll know the real world, Card Mistress…once you discover."
"Discover what?"
Meilin paid no attention, and went on going on about the 'discovery' and what Sakura would find out, never once revealing what that would be.
"DISCOVER-"
The world crashed and Sakura's eyes tore open.
*
Sakura's head was pillowed on something soft, and she wanted to snuggle into it and find out what she was supposed to discover, she wanted to, but the fear of the evil Meilin coming back was enough to make her eyes stay wide open. Still, she snuggled into her pillow, thoroughly comfortable. She sighed, glad to be free, yet curious at the same time of what the ending would have been if she hadn't woken. She breathed heavily, feeling a heavy and invisible weight resting on her shoulders, and her heart, she didn't want to go through that again. And she would stop sleeping to avoid it.
She stopped…her pillow was breathing. She coloured and tilted her head up. Syaoran!
/Oh…oh!/ she went back to her original position, and quickly thought things through. She pretended to be asleep.
[1]- Ooo, sensing LOVE here, ne?
[2]- domo arigato to my beta, Littlewolf, for coming up with Ralon's name!
Thank you also, to Snowdazed, who let me use one of her amazing poems, thank you!! And if you want to know why I used it…urm, I thought it fit in with Sakura's fears of her failing, the last two lines seem to scream those fears, because Sakura won't tell anyone. ^_^ I'm weird
Heh, that's it, feel free to flame me for torturing Sakura, it's necessary to the plot later on (just gotta figure out WHY, now) and for using her friends as her torturers, feel free to hate me, I don't care, honest, just review! PLEASE!
