The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden
Chapter 4: Trekking and Trudging

Feeling lost? Come to God and you won't get lost.

***

Cloud and co. suddenly appear on a snowy white area. There they see a sign that says:
"SOUTH POLE: 300 KM. AHEAD."

"Not again, we landed on a damn &(*& snowfield! That $*)@ Lady Luck!" Cid cursed.

"Do not worry my my friends, I have a thorough knowledge of the South Pole and the Antarctic
area," Weasel explained. "With my GPRS-enabled GPS PDA and cellphone hybrid, we can get out
of this snowy region and into your destination." He then brings out the aforementioned
device. He activates it and explains: "It says that to get into your destination... what
is your destination, Cloud?"

"Afghanistan, I think," Cloud replied.

"All right, to get to Afghanistan, we must go northwest to arrive at the southern part of
Argentina. Then we will go to Buenos Aires, the capital of the said country and hitch
a ride on an airplane heading for Pakistan. Then you will sneak into Afghanistan because
the two are neighboring countries. That's all."

"But the people of this world do not accept gil as currency," Red XIII worried. "So how do
we exchange our gil for your international currency?"

"Hmmm... good question. If possible, we can meet a trader and exchange your gil for the US
dollar, the international currency here on Earth."

"Will we ever see traders in a snowy area like this?" Tifa interrogated. "And enough of
your explaining! We're going to be frozen popsicles here! We must move out! Brrr!"

Teh group then moves out with the help of Weasel's GPS device. But an hour later, they pass
out.

Later, they wke up in a wooden house. They are later greeted by a strange man.

"Good morning, travellers," the man said. "My name's Hiro."

"You're Hiro fom Lunar 2?! Holy $*#*, I'm getting enough of those meddling ousiders!
Gawdemmit!" Cid shouted.

"Stop cursing, man," Hiro said. "It's a threat to morality. By the way, you were passed out
around five kilometersaway from my house. So had no choice but to bring you to my house
right here."

"Why, we were trying to get out of Antarctica to get into Afghanistan to fight the
terrorists there," Cloud explained. He then introduces himself and his friends to Hiro.
He continues, "Oh, by the way, how did you live here in this place?"

"Well, since I found Lucia on the Blue Star, she had mysteriously vanished. And then some
strange voice said that she is on some cold place on this planet, Earth. So I used the
teleporting pendant of hers to go here. And knowing that this place is so cold, I found
an abandoned house and that is now my home."

"Good to hear that," Cait Sith said. "We want to go to Afghanistan, but the currency from
our world, gil, isn't acceptable here. Can you trade our gil for US dollars?"

"Sure. I traded with other travellers in Antarctica. I give them dollars for their trinkets
that I receive. Now please hand over your gil and I'll convert them."

Everyone except Weasel and Baboon (who had their own dollars) then trades their gil for
dollars.

"Thanks, Hiro," Cloud said. "We don't have time left. We must go. Goodbye!"

"Have a safe journey!" said Hiro as he waves his hands to the leaving party.

Now the group heads for Argentina. After two days of non-stop walking, they finally arrive
at the Buenos Aires International Airport.

"Cloud, I think I and Baboon must part ways with you," Weasel said. "I still have some
scientific research to attend to. So I will bid you goodbye."

Baboon then said, "I are having fun travelling with you. And, ah, I are want to kiss Tifa
goodbye."

"Shu' up, foo'!" Barret shouted. "Don' ya go kissing you' funny ass to our lovely lass.
So beat it!"

"Yeah! So, like, kiss me instead!" Yuffie interrupted. But her real intention is to steal
Baboon's money.

"We have no time for kissing, Baboon," Weasel interfered. "Good luck on your fight against
the terrorists! Farewell!"

Weasel and Baboon then leaves to a different area of the airport, never to be seen.

"Wow, it must be a long journey, huh?" Aeris questioned.

"Yeah, and this is just the beginning. The big evil will be just ahead of us," Vincent
responded.

Cloud and co. then purchase their tickets, waits for the Pakistan-bound plane, rides it,
and they're off!

***

Squall and his buddies suddenly materialize right in the office of the CIA chief. The
chief is astonished. "Hey, who are you and what are you doing?"

Squall, thinking that the intelligence head honcho is a military man, abruptly salutes him.
"Sir, SeeD Private First Class Squall Leonhart reporting for duty, sir," he said.

His friends then salutes and gives their ranks and full names, all saying that they are
reporting for duty.

The chief then said, "Hey, I don't know that SeeD thingy."

"Sir, we are from an another world, sir," Quistis reported. "Sir, we are on a mission to
eliminate the terrorists in Afghanistan, sir."

"Well, you want to fight the al-Qaeda and the Taliban, don't you?" the chief responded.
"Then go to the Pentagon. You will have a short training there since you are all foreign
military personnel."

"Sir, yes, sir," the whole team answered.

As directed by the CIA chief, Squall and co. go to the Pentagon. But a few miles away,
they see smoke emanating from the US military HQ.

"There must be a fire," Irvine said. "Let's do the natural thing: helping."

So they quickly respond and help the struggling firefighters douse out the flames. And
after fifteen minutes, the whole fire is gone.

Just then the US secretary of defense arrives at the fire scene. He reacted, "Very good.
You have put out the flames totally! I give my thanks to those nine civilians who helped
the firefighters. As a reward, I will turn them into Green Berets."

Laguna is surprised by the secretary's decision. "Oh, just for putting out that fire, we
get promoted?"

"Hey, respect his decision," Selphie interrupted. "At least he's giving us a chance."

Later, the secretary gives a surprise press conference to formally promote the strangers
as fully-pledged Green Berets. At the point where they are made to wear green berets on
their heads as a sign, they react.

"Sir, hey, why would you let us wear those strange hats, sir?" Zell questioned.

"Sir, we would be happy if we just keep those berets as souvenirs, sir," Rinoa added.

"Hmmm... If it's your wish, it's your wish. But remember, obey first before you complain,"
the secretary said.

"Sir, yes, sir!" the whole team responded.

The press conference ends, and the team is made to ride a C-130 plane heading for where
else? Afghanistan. It's what the secretary wished for.

***

Meanwhile, Zidane and co. (plus the Invincible II) appear in a deserted, remote island.
This island belongs to none other than the Marquesas Islands, the site of the fourth
"Survivor" challenge.

"Man, I think we've landed in some remote place," Zidane said. "I don't think we can go
to Afghanistan in this situation."

"You monkey, we have the airship, still intact!" Steiner reacted. "So going there is
as easy as slicing a dead bug in half!"

"We've got no other choice," Eiko demanded. "So let's go!"

Then the Invincible II throttles in full glory. It sails over the land and over the sea,
until...

"What? The airship's falling?" everyone wondered.

And it splashes right into the Indian Ocean.

"Looks like we will paddle our way through Saudi Arabia," Freya said.

Follwing Freya's proposal, the group dismantles some of the airship's wooden parts to serve
as paddles. Afterwards, they slowly, s-l-o-w-l-y sail their way to the KSA. It took them
five days to accomplish that.

"Whew, this is so tiring," Vivi Jr. complained.

"Hmph. And even harder is the entry to Afghanistan," Amarant added. "Not only the Arabs
don't accept strangers, but also suspects them of being Israeli supporters."

Despite their own complaints, they force their way into most of the Middle East. Because
of Zidane's stealth ablities, they luckily sneak into Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Iran,
and finally Afghanistan. And after their second ordeal, they rest in a western Afghan town,
wondering...

"Are the terrorists products of the Mist?"

***

Well, Tidus and co. are the luckiest of the four groups. You know why? They landed right
smack into the Tora Bora mountains in Afghanistan. But little do they know that they face
immediate danger.

"Are we in Afghanistan?" Tidus wondered. Only Wakka is with him since they arrived first.

"Hoo boy. Now let's forget the blitzball rivalry," Wakka reacted.

"You're right."

"Why?"

"Watch out for those bombs!"

They run for their lives as a B-52 bomber scatters small but terrible bombs over the
mountain range.

Luckily they avoid the bombs and gunshots they encounter on their way.

They later arrive on a camp, with the sign in front boldly showing the following:

UNITED STATES ARMY
CAMP RHINO
CHARLIE COMPANY
CAMP JUSTICE FOR AMERICA
We the people of the United States of America are going to kick your ass.

"Uh, are we the ones who are pointed here in this sign?" Wakka asked.

"...Yes," Tidus agreed.

Seconds later some US marines point their M-16's at them.

"Surrender peacefully, and we'll send you two to jail," one of them said.

Afterwards, the marines send Tidus and Wakka to the camp's prison cell in a military
cadence-like fashion.

There they meet not only Yuna and the others, but Cloud, Squall, Zidane, and their
respective buddies.

What fate awaits the thirty-four (or possibly more) heroes?

***

Justice is not brought alone by might... --Cecil's dark side (FF4)