Canonballs where canon is nice but F it.
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::Faramir is sitting in his apartment preparing to write::
::VO:: Yes I had come to live a penny less existence. I had come to write about truth, beauty, freedom and that which I believed in above all things--Love.
::cut to flashback of Denny ranting::
Always this ridiculous obsession with love!
::VO:: There was only one problem--I'd never been in love. Luckily right at that moment an unconscious Ranger fell through my roof.
::Aragorn falls through asleep and hanging by his foot.
He was quickly joined by a Hobbit dressed as a nun.
Peregrin: How do you do? My name is Ernil I Pheriannath, Thain Peregrin Took I.
Faramir: What?
Peregrin: I'm terribly sorry about all this. We were just upstairs rehearsing a play.
Faramir: What?
::VO:: A play, something very modern called Spectacular Spectacular.
Peregrin: It's set in Caras Galadhon.
::VO:: Unfortunately, the unconscious Ranger suffered from a sickness called narcolepsy.
Peregrin: Perfectly fine one moment, then suddenly--*snores* unconscious the next.
::a glass hits the floor and breaks they look up to see Gandalf, looking rather crazed, Elrond, wearing much too much makeup, and Daelir looking down at Pippin and the unconscious Aragorn::
Elrond: How is he? Wonderful. Now the narcoleptic ranger is now unconscious. Therefore, the scenario will not me finished in time to present to the financier tomorrow.
Daelir: He's right Peregrin and I still have to finish the music.
Pippin: We'll just find someone to read the part.
Elrond: Where in heaven's name are we going to find someone to read the part of a young sensitive Carasian poet/goatherder?
::VO:: Before I knew it, I was upstairs, standing in for the unconscious ranger.
::upstairs in Peregrin's apartment. Faramir stands on a ladder in the traditional attire of a goatherder of Caras Galadhon. Daelir is at the organ which has several glasses of red liquid on it. Elrond is standing back observing as Pippin sings.
Peregrin: *sings* The trees animate with the euphonious symphonies of descant.
Elrond: Oh stop stop stop stop stop stop! That insufferable droning. It's drowning out my words. Can't you just stick to a little decorative piano?
::VO:: There seemed to be artistic differences over Elrond's lyrics to Daelir's songs.
Gandalf: I don't think a nun would say that about a tree.
Daelir: What if he sings, "The trees are vital intoning the descant"?
Peregrin: No no. The trees quake and shake.
Gandalf: No no no no. The trees--
Aragorn: *sits up* The trees are incarnate with symphonic melodies! *falls asleep*
Everyone: no no no the trees the trees...
Gandalf: Are chanting the eternal mantra.
Daelir: Eru is living in my foot.
*argueing*
Faramir: *sings* The Trees are alive with the sound of music.
All: *stuned*
Aragorn: Whoa! *stands* The trees are alive with the sound of music! I love it!
Gandalf *sings* The trees are alive--
Peregrin: *sings* With the sound--
Daelir: *sings* of music. *spins to face Faramir* It fits perfectly!
Faramir: *sings* With songs they have sung for a thousand years *looks quite pleased with himself*
All *gasps*
Peregrin: Incandiferous! Elrond, you two should write the show together.
Elrond: I beg your pardon?
::VO:: But Peregrin's suggestion that Elrond and I write the show together was not what Elrond wanted to hear.
Elrond: GOODBYE! *slams the door*
Peregrin: Here's to your first job in Rohan.
Daelir: Peregrin, The Professor will never agree. No offense, but have you ever written anything like this before?
Faramir: No.
Aragorn: Ahh! The boy has talent. *Aragorn places his hand where it REALLY doesn't belong making Faramir gasp* I like him! Nothing funny. I just like talent.
Peregrin: The trees are alive with the sound of music. See, Daelir, with Faramir we can write the truly Arda Bohemian revolutionary show that we've always dreamt of.
Daelir: But how will we convince the Professor?
::VO:: But Peregrin had a plan.
Peregrin: Eowyn.
::VO:: They would dress me in the Rangers best suit and pass me off as a famous Gondorian writer. Once Eowyn heard my modern poetry, she would be astounded and insist to the Professor that I write Spectacular Spectacular. The only problem was, I kept hearing my fathers voice in my head,
::Flashback to Denny:: You'll end up wasting you life at the meeting hall with a cancan dancer!
Faramir: *jumps down alder and runs* No I can't write the show for the Meeting hall!
Peregrin: Why not?
Faramir *on ladder to his own apartment* Well I don't even know if I am a true Arda bohemian revolutionary.
All: What?
Peregrin: Do you believe in beauty?
Faramir: Yes.
Aragorn: Freedom?
Faramir: Yes of course
Daelir: Truth?
Faramir: Yes.
Gandalf: Love?
Faramir: Love? Love. Above all things I believe in love. Love is like oxygen. Love is a many-splendored thing. Love lifts
us up where we belong all you need is love
Peregrin: See you can't fool us. You're the voice of the children of the revolution!
Bohemians: *lift him back into the room* We can't be fooled.
Peregrin: Let's drink to the new write of Ardas first bohemian revolutionary show!
::VO:: It was the perfect plan. I was to audition for Eowyn, and I would taste my first glass of...dwarf spirits.
::we see a tray of glasses of red liquid. We hear Peregrin singing bits of nature boy and on the bottle we see Reika, the red istari fly off the label and speak.::
Rieka: I am the Red Istari.
All: *sing* The trees are alive with the sound of music *laugh histerically*
::The Bohemians come onto the ledge and sing::
Yeah Freedom, Beauty, Truth and Looooove! ::they fade into Children of the Revolution::
Rieka: *sings* The trees are alive with the sound of music. ::dances::
::VO:: We were off to the Meeting Hall and I was going to perform my poetry for Eowyn.
::We fly through Rohan to the gates of the Meeting Hall and strait through to the curtain::
Professor: *pops through curtain* THE MEETING HALL!!
::Faramir looks around terribly out of place::
::VO:: Professor Johnny and his infamous girls. They called them his Silmaril Dogs.
::close up shots of the four singing "Voulez-vous cuucher avec moi ce soir?" They are Iona (wraith #2), Arwen, Legolas (in leather), and Gimli (the dwarf skank).
::The cancan girls and guys head out towards the crowd of wraithy gentlemen with the Professor at the head.
Professor: *sings*
If life's an awful bore
and living's just a chore
we do cause death's not much fun.
I've just the antidote
And though I mustn't gloat
At the Meeting Hall you'll have fun
So scratch that little niggle
Give a little wiggle
You know that you can
That you cancancan...
::Wraithy gentlemen enter singing::
Here we are now
Entertain us
We feel stupid and contagious.
Professor: *exits to garden with dancers, sings*
Got some dark desire
Love to play with fire
Why not let it rip
Live a little bit
Outside it may be raining
But in here it's entertaining
::professor skates through the air doing somersaults and lands in the dance hall::
Professor: *sings* Cause we can cancan
Yes we can cancan
Wraiths: *sing* Here we are now entertain us
Professor: *sings* Outside things may be tragic
but in here we feel its magic
*stops music*
Professor: *whispers* The cancan.
::in all the hectic madness and dancing we see Faramir come around to the spirit of the place::
Faramir: Cause its good for your mind! YEAAAA!
Peregrin: *sits in booth with the other Bohemians* Faramir! Psst psst. Mission accomplished. We've successfully evaded the Professor
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