Disclaimer: Everyone knows this... It all belongs to Ms Rowling.

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up! I just haven't been motivated to write anything lately. I've been more in the mood to read, but I think I have some pretty good ideas for an interesting chapter. I really want to thank all of you who reviewed. It means so much to me! I don't think you realize how happy I am when I open up my mail and see 10 reviews or something there waiting for me... :) Well, this chapter may be a bit depressing, but trust me, it will all work out for the best. Enjoy!

The Rivalry of James and Lily

Year Four - Chapter 3

So Different, Yet So Alike

Christmas was approaching rapidly and very few students were staying at Hogwarts. Whether it was because of the increasing threat of Voldemort, or simply the fact that the Christmas season was a time for family, only three Gryffindor students were staying at Hogwarts. Those students were two second years and James Potter. Sirius and his family were going to Italy to greet some family relatives, and James, not wanting to intrude, had made the excuse that he had to stay to finish some extra work over the holidays. Sirius, who didn't quite believe him, as they had nearly all of their classes together, asked James to accompany him numerous times, but James insisted on not interfering with the family reunion. Since James had been rather edgy for the past few weeks (ever since his kiss with Lily), Sirius didn't exactly want to argue with him.

This meant, however, that James was going to be very lonely this Christmas season. Remus was going to be "sick," Kate and Alex were returning to Paris, Sybill was going to some divinator camp, Peter was doing some sort of "business", and Lily, well James didn't know exactly what Lily was doing. He had heard, though, that she was returning home to her parents in Salisbury. With a very heavy heart, James entered the Christmas season unmotivated to do anything but sit and mope in the common room. He really missed his parents...

On the Hogwarts Express, Lily couldn't help but feel excited to see her parents again. They always prepared the BEST Christmas Eve feasts. Her mouth began to water just thinking about the juicy, lightly-brazed turkey, the scrumptious, home-made dressing, the crisp, fresh salad, and of course, the enticing bread pudding followed by a steaming mug of hot cocoa. Yum... what a meal.

As Lily sat on the Hogwarts Express, however, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt for leaving James at the castle with only the company of a few second years at Christmas. Although it wasn't his first Christmas without his parents, Lily was sure it was going to be extremely tough for him. No one should be alone on Christmas, not even your worst enemy. But was he her worst enemy? She definitely hated Snape more than him. Come to think of it, she hated a lot of people more than she hated him. He was becoming more like, well, he had been becoming more like a friend to her. But ever since that stupid kiss they weren't really anything to each other. They simply disregarded the other's existence. But why did she care about him so much? Why did he somehow brighten her day, even if he was only there to throw a hex at her or call her a foul name?

"Hey Lil'?" questioned Sirius.

"Mm?" she replied dazed.

"The train's stopped. We're here."

"Oh, oh. I guess it has, hasn't it?" she said, only half-conscious of her surroundings. So far she hadn't noticed that Sirius, along with her owl, Oe, were floating about a foot above the ground.

"And, uh, sorry about your owl. He should return to normal within in a couple of hours. At least I hope he does," Sirius said, looking at his floating reflection in the window.

"Sirius what have you done now?" asked Lily, turning toward him. "On my goodness! Oe! Sirius, you did not feed him one of those stupid levitating sherbet balls, did you?!"

"Um... If I said I did, would you be angry?" he asked sheepishly.

"Would I be angry?" she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Then I must be off. Have a nice break!" Sirius said quickly, hopping, well floating off the train to his mum and dad before Lily could do anything to stop him.

Lily couldn't help but laugh at the extremely funny looking figure of Sirius Black floating off to his parents, and then her rather disgruntled looking tawny owl.

"What has he done to you now?" giggled Lily, as she struggled to put her owl in his cage. Oe simply clucked his beak unhappily. He obviously preferred to fly on his own will rather than the will of Sirius.

When Lily finally spotted her family, she was surprised as ever to see Petunia smiling at her with her mum and dad.

"Hey Mum, Dad, and, uh, Petunia? It's nice to see you all again!"

"And we're happy-" her father began, but was quickly cut off by Petunia.

"Oh! Lily dearest! My favorite sister! ("You're only sister," Lily mumbled to herself.) I've missed you so much! Let's do go home! I have so much to talk to you about!" And soon, Petunia started dragging Lily off towards the car. Lily raised her eyebrows to her parents. They simply shrugged and motioned for her to follow her sister. After an uneventful ride with Petunia constantly babbling in her ear, their car finally pulled into their house's front drive.

"Ahh... It feels good to be back in my room," said Lily, falling onto to her bed into a pile of stuffed animals. Sooner than she desired, Petunia was back to pestering her. Why was she suddenly being so nice?

"Lily dear! Can you come her for a moment?" Lily heard her sister call. As Lily entered her sister's room, she was overwhelmed with the same picture of a fat boy of about 20.

"Is this a new boyfriend?" Lily asked politely.

"Well, in a manner of speaking. His name is Vernon Dursley, and we are engaged. We are getting married tomorrow."

"Oh?" replied a shocked and disgusted Lily. "Do mum and dad know?"

"Well, see, I have a favor to ask you. I was, well, wondering if you could maybe break it to Mum and Dad that I'm getting married and then put some sort of spell over them so they don't get mad or anything. That is what you do right? Put spells on people?" she asked as nicely as she could, but just talking about magic made Petunia get a very sour look on her face.

Lily would have laughed at Petunia's face if the situation hadn't been so serious. "You want me to what? Put a spell on Mum and Dad? There is absolutely no way I would do that!" Lily replied seriously.

"But I've been so nice to you!" Petunia whined.

"Yea, for the first time in your life," Lily muttered.

"Look, Lily. Please do this! I'm your sister! Do it for me!"

"Petunia, I'm sorry. I truly can't do it for three very good reasons. One, I've never performed a spell that can control someone's emotions, or else I would use it on James Potter more often (Lily wanted to kick herself for bringing up James). Two, I can't use magic in front of mug- people like you. And three, I just wouldn't use magic on my own parents. They're too important to me." Lily said this last statement so sharply that even Petunia took a minute to reply.

"You really are a witch, you know that? I don't ever want to see you again. You better not set foot near my wedding!" Petunia spat.

"You say this as though I actually wanted to go," Lily snapped, turning to the door.

"Well, goodbye forever then. I'm planning on moving with him to Surrey after our wedding, and then I hope to never see you again."

Lily, not wanting to walk out on her sister forever, turned back to say she was sorry, but the look in Petunia's eye only allowed her to say one thing. "Goodbye" she mumbled, closing the door quietly behind her.

As Lily lay down on her bed, she couldn't help but listen to the argument that was arising downstairs.

"You're what?" she heard her father yell as Petunia broke the news to her family.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Lily heard her mother cry.

And the argument continued for hours with Petunia explaining her reasons for waiting to tell them about her engagement. After quite a few tears, the battle was finally resolved and Petunia was still going to have her wedding the next day. How did Petunia come out on top? Lily really didn't know. Lily wondered how her parents would react if she told them she was getting married when she was 18.

On Christmas Eve, Lily and her parents where in quite a cheerful mood. Petunia was still on her honeymoon in Majorca with that stupid Dursley man, but Lily wasn't complaining. She got to have her parents all to herself. That night they ate their scrumptious meal of turkey, dressing, salad, and of course dessert, without a care in the world. During dinner they discussed loads of different topics from Lily's childhood. Of course, they recalled the time when Lily made an English traveling soccer team that went around to different European cities. One game, Lily had scored the game-winning goal, which pushed the team to first place in league play. Lily's parents couldn't have been prouder of her that day. Lily and her parents couldn't stop laughing when they discussed what happened another time in Lily's childhood. When Lily was two she dined at an extremely nice Chinese restaurant in London. The restaurant was the type where you sat on pillows and your feet hung into a low pit. Lily, being the energetic child she was, began to run around the table. Suddenly she tripped over one of misplaced pillows and fell straight into a giant paper wall, knocking it into the table next door. No more than 15 waiters had to come out to put the wall right, and luckily, no one was sitting in the table that was now smushed. As they were in the middle of recalling the time Lily put a sock in her underwear to make a tail, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," her father said quickly, before anyone else could jump up from the table. Lily and her mother gave each other puzzled looks. Who would be calling on them during Christmas Eve dinner?

Curious, Lily and her Mom followed her father into the main hallway.

"Can I help you, sir?" Lily heard her father ask.

"Is this the house of Lily Evans?" croaked a man with a chilling voice. Lily froze as she saw two black-cloaked figures approach her father.

"Yes. What do you want with her?" asked her father, shaking. But he never finished his sentence. He was crumpled dead on the floor with a flash of green light.

"Oh my God! Mom! RUN!" Lily screamed, grabbing her mother's hand and pulling her towards the back door. Her mother, pale and shocked, began to feebly run after Lily, who was still clinging onto her hand.

"Come on Mom! Please hurry!" Lily cried. But her mother had stopped running. She had turned back to where her husband lay. Defiantly, she started walking back to where the Death Eaters stood. The Death Eaters just stared, amused at Mrs. Evans. All Lily could do was mutter, "I love you, Mum. I love you," over and over and continue to run from the house. Maybe she would be the one that Professor Babilon had mentioned could love someone enough to allow them to survive Avada Kedarva.

Lily raced from her house as quickly as she could. She couldn't look back at her house, she just couldn't. All she could do was hope and pray that her mother was alright. Suddenly, she saw a flash of green light and heard a mass of high-pitched cackling. She knew what had happened. Her mother was gone. Lily just kept running. Where to, she had no idea. She didn't stop until she had reached an empty field miles from her house when she was sure no one was following her. As the dark night sky closed around her, she sat down stunned. She didn't care that it was nearly freezing, or that she had sat down in a small patch of snow, or that all she had were her jeans and a t-shirt. She couldn't cry. They couldn't be gone. She had just been talking to them about 15 minutes before, laughing about her childhood...

Lily sat in that field for hours in disbelief. She had nowhere to go. She was too afraid to go back to her house, yet not ready to face anyone at Hogwarts. After sitting stunned in the field until day break, she decided she would have to face someone sooner or later. Slowly, she began to stand up and face north, the direction of her home. After stumbling back up the familiar streets of her neighborhood, she couldn't help but let out a cry when she saw her house. It wasn't in ruins, or damaged in any matter, but the dark mark, brighter than ever, shown brighter than the rising sun directly above it. And then she noticed the dozens of ministry officials buzzing in and out of the area, apparating here and there in what they obviously thought were good hiding spots. Lily stayed hidden in the shadows, not ready to see anyone quite yet. The same thoughts kept running through her head. Her family. How could this be happening to her family? And sitting there, she asked herself the one question that she had been trying to ignore. Why didn't I love my mom enough to make her survive? Lily closed her eyes to stop the tears from forming. When she opened them, she was staring at a pair of billowing black robes, exactly like those of the Death Eaters' the night before.

"Ahh!" she screamed terrified. It couldn't be another one, not now.

"OY! Minister! I think I've found her!" the man yelled. And suddenly, no less than 20 ministry officials glided quickly over to where Lily hid in the shadows. Shaking, Lily stood up and looked them all in the eye.

"Come here, child," said one of the men. "I am Julius Winston, the Minister of Magic."

"You're the, the Minister?" asked a shocked Lily. But she quickly looked past him as she saw Dumbledore running in her direction.

"There you are, Miss Evans. I'll take her now, Julius," Dumbledore said, looking back to the minister. Then he turned back to Lily. "I think it'd be best if you came back with me to Hogwarts. It will be okay." And he began to lead her away from the crowd of officials. Lily stared up into his eyes. They weren't twinkling like usual. They had an odd spark in them that she couldn't quite identify. As she was staring at him, he looked down at her and gave her an encouraging smile.

"I need to get my belongings before we go anywhere," she said, almost in a whisper.

Dumbledore simply nodded to her as an answer. As Lily made her way into the house, she was shocked to see that it was exactly the way she had left it. Their dinner was even still sitting on the table. As she trudged up the stairs to her room, she couldn't help but take her time and glance at every picture, every piece of furniture, every mark on the wall, every ripple in the carpet. Slowly, she started to pack up all of her Hogwarts things. Sighing heavily, she made her way back downstairs with her trunk and owl. Dumbledore met her at the foot of the stairs.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Slowly, she nodded her head. Suddenly, however, she stopped. "Where will I live? I mean, when I'm not at Hogwarts. Where will I live then?"

"I believe your sister has a new house, correct? We'll transport everything else in your room back over to her house, and transfer some of your parents money to your Gringotts vault."

All Lily could do was look down. She really didn't want the headmaster to see her cry. Slowly, Dumbledore held out some floo powder for Lily to take. She threw it into the fire, muttered Lion's Lair (the name of the Gryffindor Common Room), and vanished from sight.

***

Meanwhile, James had been sleeping in one of the giant armchairs towards the back of the common room. He had spent pretty much the whole break either sleeping in this armchair or confining himself in his dormitory to avoid the second year students when he needed some peace and quiet. Their names were Bailey Mickerson, a rather pretty blonde, and Brian Treichly, who, according to Bailey, was the cutest boy she'd ever seen. Both students were in awe of James pranks and brilliant mind, but luckily, didn't bombard him with as many questions as the majority of residents of Hogwarts. They were more into impressing each other than doing much else. Although it was nice to have some company over break, he couldn't help but get annoyed of them when they would wake him up while playing chasey or screaming and yelling because of some crazy dare.

James had been in such a deep sleep, in fact, that he hardly even stirred when Lily fell through the fireplace into the common room. He simply snored on, not noticing Lily's presence. Sighing for about the millionth time that day, Lily began to drag her trunk up to her dormitory, not worrying about being quiet. She hadn't spotted James in the back of the room.

Clunk! Clunk! Clunk!

"Ugh... I do wish those two kids would learn how to be quiet," sighed James, slowly coming to his senses from his deep sleep. He slowly began to sit up in the chair, preparing himself to tell off Bailey and Brian when they came back down the stairs from their dormitories. Rubbing his eyes, James heard footsteps coming down one of the staircases. Wait, someone was heading down the staircase that belonged the fourth year girls. Why would Bailey or Brian bother going up to that dormitory?

Confused, James looked on in shock as Lily, pale and helpless, stumbled down the stairs and out of the portrait hole. All he could do was simply gape after her. Why in the world was she back so early? And what had happened to her? He had never seen anyone look so miserable in his whole life.

After coming to his senses, James began to search around the castle for her, asking himself the same question over and over. Why was she so upset? He was scared. Something horrible must have happened to her. First he looked in the library, then the kitchens, and even the owlery. Then he looked out one of the tall windows and noticed her outside, shivering in the fresh white snow with nothing but her muggle jeans and t-shirt. Silently, James headed out to where she sat with her knees bundled up to her chest in what appeared to be the only piece of dry ground.

Lily could hear someone coming, but pretended to ignore whoever it was. She hoped they would just go away. She wanted to be alone. She didn't even glance over when the person sat down beside her. She didn't care who it was or why they were there. All she wanted was for her parents to be back.

"Hey Lil," she heard James breathe in a voice so soothing, so full warmth, that she had to turn to look at him. His eyes were marked with sympathy, curiosity, and what looked like an urge to help her. She tried to talk to him, but simply couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to tell him about what had happened. How she was responsible for her parent's deaths. The death eaters were after her, not her parents. Why couldn't she have answered the door? After a few minutes, she finally spoke.

"I'm... I'm sorry, James," she said, almost in a whisper, now staring at a spot in the ground 5 feet in front of her.

Now James was thoroughly puzzled. "For what?" He couldn't help but ask.

"For never being more sympathetic with you when your parents died." She looked into his eyes, a single tear dripping down her cheek.

He closed his eyes, not believing his ears. He now understood. Her parents had been killed, and he knew exactly how she felt; like a whole piece of her heart was missing. He draped his arm over Lily's shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She laid her head on his chest and began to cry into his shoulder. Now, she couldn't help but tell James everything. How Petunia had suddenly decided to get married and never wanted to see her again. How she and her parents had been discussing the different memories from her childhood just last night during Christmas Eve dinner. How the doorbell had suddenly rang unexpectedly. How the Death Eater's had asked for her, but killed her father anyway. How her mother had turned back to try to help her father. How she had tried to save her mother with her love, but completely and utterly failed. How she had sat in a field the night before, too shocked to sleep. How she had come home to find the Dark Mark shining brightly above her house. And finally, how about 20 different ministry officials had been on the look out for her. Why had there been so many? James just listened in silence, comforting her when she needed it, and conjuring up plenty of tissues.

"Oh gosh, James. I'm so sorry for making you listen to this," she sighed.

"Lily, of anyone at this school, I know exactly what you're going through," he whispered into her ear. "Trust me, you can tell me anything."

She looked up at him and almost smiled. Almost. Then she began to fumble with the locket her parents had given her for her 11th birthday, which was the year she had been accepted to Hogwarts. The year she had been introduced to the wonders of magic, and the year she had been introduced to the chilling reality of Lord Voldemort. She opened the locket.

"Weren't they perfect?" she asked, showing him their beaming faces.

"Yeah, Lily. They really were," he smiled.

Lily closed the locket and put it back around her neck. Her hands then fell upon her Gringott's key, then a necklace she had forgotten about altogether. The golden lily. She began to twist it around the chain as she sat in silence with James. He stared at what she was playing with, and for the first time, looked a bit uncomfortable.

"James? Do you know who sent this to me?" she asked.

Not being able to lie with Lily in such a devastated disposition, he broke her some news that not even Sirius knew about. "Yeah, I did."

She looked at him, shocked. Then her face broke into the first true smile he had seen since she had returned. "Thanks," she muttered, kissing him on the cheek. "I was hoping you would say that," she whispered into his ear. "I think I'm going to head inside. I'm rather cold."

"Good Idea," said James, happily. And he helped Lily stand up, knowing she was far from over the death of parents, just like he wasn't over the death of his own parents, but ready to take on any obstacles that would come cross her path in the future.

A/N: Weew! End of this chapter! I might end the series soon by skipping the 5th and 6th year and just going to the 7th year. I'm not sure though... hmm... Well, tell me what you think of this chapter. It's extremely long... for me anyway. At least it took a long time to write. It's 9 whole pages! Single spaced! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. And I want to say a thanks to Lori for motivating me to write so much today! please review if you get a chance :) gratzi