Disclaimer: Anything TP related is not mine! (obviously.)
A/N: Too perfect huh? .* thinks *. well.she's not gonna be gifted.she's smart, but never been educated properly.she's gotta be a klutz at something but I'm not sure what it should be (suggestions on that are defidently welcome!!).OK.opinions on this plez:
Should I--- re-write the description paragraph for her so she's less beautiful and perfect and stuff. leave it as it is.and try and bring in some weakness.(very difficult) just leave it I dunno.any other suggestions you might have.
As for her height.lemme think on that one and then I'll tell you at the end of this chapter.kk? Thankies for all your suggestions and, thank-you Chibi- Chingo for being frank w/ me.o, and thankies everyone else for reviewing.I'm glad you like it! After I get my story better established, I'll post replies to everyone individually. O, one more thing.if I leave her beautiful, her weakness will need to be a fear.or something completely non-physical. OK, thanks again all! ttyl!
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Leya reached the large stable first and stopped Sham, sliding off his back and leading him quietly into the barn. Quickly she checked him over, seeing that he was neither breathing hard from the run nor hot. She found a spare curry comb and a soft brush and went over him, hearing Bonfire's hoof beats in the courtyard as she picked up a cloth to go over Sham's already shinning coat with.
Raphael walked in, Bonfire in tow, and seized the abandoned curry comb. After their horses had been cared for and put in extra stalls, they walked down the many aisles, looking for the new foal and his mother. The chatted amiably as they walked, about various things, from the horses to the weather. As they turned down one row, Leya saw movement and jerked her head around to stare down the row. A young girl was standing in front of one of the stalls, bright blue eyes looking at them with caution, reminding Leya of a young fawn who would scare at the slightest noise.
"Hi," she called to the girl, wondering how she would react. "I don't think we've met, I'm Leya." She walked forward a few steps and held out a hand to the girl.
The blue eyed girl stepped back, looking at the outstretched hand with suspicion. In one quick movement, she spun around, dirty blond hair flying, and ran.
Raphael walked up behind Leya, dark eyebrows coming together in a frown. "Who's she?" "I have no idea, maybe Ethan hired her to work with the horses."
Raphael let out an ungentlemanly snort, a laugh in his eyes. "Well she's certainly as skittish as one. Come on, let's find the old bugger and meet this new foal."
It didn't take them long to find Ethan, a short, stocky man with black hair streaked with white. He was the owner of the barn and main caretaker of the horses. He had trained many a young foal, and was a magnificent horse breeder as well. Though he lacked good looks, his ways with horses had gained him respect from nobles and commoners alike.
He smiled cheerfully at them when the approached, beckoning them to the stall he had just come out of. "It's a beauty alright, a young filly, bound to grow as strong as her dam and swift as her sire. Mayhap when she comes of age, she will present some competition to the King of the Wind," he said, using one of Shamir's many titles.
Raphael looked into the stall and whistled approval. "You're right, she is lovely." He let himself into the stall to look over the filly. "How old is she?"
"A month old today." the man said matter-o-factly.
"Oh, so you didn't bother to tell anyone about her till today huh?" Raphael teased.
"Ah, well, I wanted her to myself for a while, if you know what I mean."
"Hey, Ethan," Leya began, "did you hire a helper? A young girl with blue eyes and blond hair?"
Ethan looked at Leya surprised. "No, of course not, I have enough stable hands as it is. Why do you ask?"
"There was some girl hanging around in one of the aisles when we were looking for you." Raphael informed him, rolling his eyes. "It was probably just someone who boards a horse here."
"Oh yeah? Then why did she run? If she had a reason to be there, why would she have acted the way she did?" Leya challenged.
"Maybe she's shy."
"Yeah right."
Ethan glared at both of them. "If you would stop arguing then I could give you an answer, its my stable after all and I know everything that goes on in it." He turned gray-green eyes on Leya. "No, there is no girl who is working here, or even boarding a horse here to my knowledge. If there was a girl, then she was probably just admirin' the horses. Its no business of yours."
Leya clucked her tongue in annoyance. "Touchy, touchy! You act as though I might have been hallucinating. I was just askin'. Besides, Raphael saw her too."
Her friend rose an eyebrow, but continued to look over the filly. Ethan just shook his head. After a minute, Raphael let himself out of the stall. "Thanks Ethan, she's one to make you proud." Leya snorted, still annoyed with Ethan, and stalked over to the stall, peering over the door. Her golden eyes widened as she looked at the filly.
The young foal stood confidently on strong, yet spindly, legs, watching Leya with chocolate brown eyes. Her coat was a dark ebony, her hooves still soft. Her small ears swiveled this way and that, small nostrils flaring at the scent of another human. If one didn't know better, you would swear that she was Shamir's sister, built along his lines and appearing just as defiant. Her eyes held a knowing look, as though she saw and remembered everything, just like Shamir.
Leya looked back at Ethan. "What are you going to call her?" she whispered.
Ethan frowned. "Well, I debated over many names for a while, and then one just came to me. It was "Mistir", but I cannot call her that until she proves herself worthy of such a name, as Shamir did. So, in the mean time, she's just Mist."
Leya nodded dumbly, her mind still traveling over every perfect curve on the filly's body, trying to judge what skills she would have when she was older.
After a moment of silence, Raphael smiled at Ethan. "Thanks, Ethan, we'll check in on you both," he nodded toward the filly, "every now and then. C'mon, star struck," he said to Leya.
As soon as they were out of hearing range, Leya glared at Raphael. "You know perfectly well that that girl was not boarding a horse there."
"Yeah, of course, I was just doing it to annoy you, m'lady," he replied mildly, ignoring her glare.
"Is that your favorite pastime.annoying me?" Leya asked, exasperated.
"Naturally."
Leya rolled her eyes and got Sham out of his stall, mounting up to wait for Raphael to tack up Bonfire. They trotted down the main road, Appleblossom Road, each lost in thought for the moment. It was Raphael who spoke first. "I agree with your curiosity."
Leya gave him a quizzical look. "My curiosity about what?"
"About the stable girl. She was quite unusual, and she must be pretty sneaky if Ethan didn't know she was in his barn."
Leya nodded. "I get the feeling there's more to her then blue eyes and blond hair and a love for horses, even though I don't even know who she is. I guess it's more the way she acted that was so strange."
"How old do you think she is? I was thinking ten, maybe eleven."
"Oh, so now you're interested in her age?" Leya shook her head. "I dunno, I think eleven is a better guess then ten."
A/N-Height: 5'5 or a little taller for Leya.Raphael is a few inches taller. Just to tell ya'll, I just moved half-way across the world to Europe and we're still kinda getting settled in, so, I'm really really really really really sry if it takes me a while to post occasionally.
If it's Leya's beauty that makes her too perfect, I can easily take care of that. If it's both Leya and her horse and are too perfect, then I can take care of both of them in one blow.could ya'll be a little more specific on what kind of perfect she is for me? R&R! I look forward to your opinions on what I should do to mar Leya's horrible perfection!
A/N: Too perfect huh? .* thinks *. well.she's not gonna be gifted.she's smart, but never been educated properly.she's gotta be a klutz at something but I'm not sure what it should be (suggestions on that are defidently welcome!!).OK.opinions on this plez:
Should I--- re-write the description paragraph for her so she's less beautiful and perfect and stuff. leave it as it is.and try and bring in some weakness.(very difficult) just leave it I dunno.any other suggestions you might have.
As for her height.lemme think on that one and then I'll tell you at the end of this chapter.kk? Thankies for all your suggestions and, thank-you Chibi- Chingo for being frank w/ me.o, and thankies everyone else for reviewing.I'm glad you like it! After I get my story better established, I'll post replies to everyone individually. O, one more thing.if I leave her beautiful, her weakness will need to be a fear.or something completely non-physical. OK, thanks again all! ttyl!
¤------------------------¤
Leya reached the large stable first and stopped Sham, sliding off his back and leading him quietly into the barn. Quickly she checked him over, seeing that he was neither breathing hard from the run nor hot. She found a spare curry comb and a soft brush and went over him, hearing Bonfire's hoof beats in the courtyard as she picked up a cloth to go over Sham's already shinning coat with.
Raphael walked in, Bonfire in tow, and seized the abandoned curry comb. After their horses had been cared for and put in extra stalls, they walked down the many aisles, looking for the new foal and his mother. The chatted amiably as they walked, about various things, from the horses to the weather. As they turned down one row, Leya saw movement and jerked her head around to stare down the row. A young girl was standing in front of one of the stalls, bright blue eyes looking at them with caution, reminding Leya of a young fawn who would scare at the slightest noise.
"Hi," she called to the girl, wondering how she would react. "I don't think we've met, I'm Leya." She walked forward a few steps and held out a hand to the girl.
The blue eyed girl stepped back, looking at the outstretched hand with suspicion. In one quick movement, she spun around, dirty blond hair flying, and ran.
Raphael walked up behind Leya, dark eyebrows coming together in a frown. "Who's she?" "I have no idea, maybe Ethan hired her to work with the horses."
Raphael let out an ungentlemanly snort, a laugh in his eyes. "Well she's certainly as skittish as one. Come on, let's find the old bugger and meet this new foal."
It didn't take them long to find Ethan, a short, stocky man with black hair streaked with white. He was the owner of the barn and main caretaker of the horses. He had trained many a young foal, and was a magnificent horse breeder as well. Though he lacked good looks, his ways with horses had gained him respect from nobles and commoners alike.
He smiled cheerfully at them when the approached, beckoning them to the stall he had just come out of. "It's a beauty alright, a young filly, bound to grow as strong as her dam and swift as her sire. Mayhap when she comes of age, she will present some competition to the King of the Wind," he said, using one of Shamir's many titles.
Raphael looked into the stall and whistled approval. "You're right, she is lovely." He let himself into the stall to look over the filly. "How old is she?"
"A month old today." the man said matter-o-factly.
"Oh, so you didn't bother to tell anyone about her till today huh?" Raphael teased.
"Ah, well, I wanted her to myself for a while, if you know what I mean."
"Hey, Ethan," Leya began, "did you hire a helper? A young girl with blue eyes and blond hair?"
Ethan looked at Leya surprised. "No, of course not, I have enough stable hands as it is. Why do you ask?"
"There was some girl hanging around in one of the aisles when we were looking for you." Raphael informed him, rolling his eyes. "It was probably just someone who boards a horse here."
"Oh yeah? Then why did she run? If she had a reason to be there, why would she have acted the way she did?" Leya challenged.
"Maybe she's shy."
"Yeah right."
Ethan glared at both of them. "If you would stop arguing then I could give you an answer, its my stable after all and I know everything that goes on in it." He turned gray-green eyes on Leya. "No, there is no girl who is working here, or even boarding a horse here to my knowledge. If there was a girl, then she was probably just admirin' the horses. Its no business of yours."
Leya clucked her tongue in annoyance. "Touchy, touchy! You act as though I might have been hallucinating. I was just askin'. Besides, Raphael saw her too."
Her friend rose an eyebrow, but continued to look over the filly. Ethan just shook his head. After a minute, Raphael let himself out of the stall. "Thanks Ethan, she's one to make you proud." Leya snorted, still annoyed with Ethan, and stalked over to the stall, peering over the door. Her golden eyes widened as she looked at the filly.
The young foal stood confidently on strong, yet spindly, legs, watching Leya with chocolate brown eyes. Her coat was a dark ebony, her hooves still soft. Her small ears swiveled this way and that, small nostrils flaring at the scent of another human. If one didn't know better, you would swear that she was Shamir's sister, built along his lines and appearing just as defiant. Her eyes held a knowing look, as though she saw and remembered everything, just like Shamir.
Leya looked back at Ethan. "What are you going to call her?" she whispered.
Ethan frowned. "Well, I debated over many names for a while, and then one just came to me. It was "Mistir", but I cannot call her that until she proves herself worthy of such a name, as Shamir did. So, in the mean time, she's just Mist."
Leya nodded dumbly, her mind still traveling over every perfect curve on the filly's body, trying to judge what skills she would have when she was older.
After a moment of silence, Raphael smiled at Ethan. "Thanks, Ethan, we'll check in on you both," he nodded toward the filly, "every now and then. C'mon, star struck," he said to Leya.
As soon as they were out of hearing range, Leya glared at Raphael. "You know perfectly well that that girl was not boarding a horse there."
"Yeah, of course, I was just doing it to annoy you, m'lady," he replied mildly, ignoring her glare.
"Is that your favorite pastime.annoying me?" Leya asked, exasperated.
"Naturally."
Leya rolled her eyes and got Sham out of his stall, mounting up to wait for Raphael to tack up Bonfire. They trotted down the main road, Appleblossom Road, each lost in thought for the moment. It was Raphael who spoke first. "I agree with your curiosity."
Leya gave him a quizzical look. "My curiosity about what?"
"About the stable girl. She was quite unusual, and she must be pretty sneaky if Ethan didn't know she was in his barn."
Leya nodded. "I get the feeling there's more to her then blue eyes and blond hair and a love for horses, even though I don't even know who she is. I guess it's more the way she acted that was so strange."
"How old do you think she is? I was thinking ten, maybe eleven."
"Oh, so now you're interested in her age?" Leya shook her head. "I dunno, I think eleven is a better guess then ten."
A/N-Height: 5'5 or a little taller for Leya.Raphael is a few inches taller. Just to tell ya'll, I just moved half-way across the world to Europe and we're still kinda getting settled in, so, I'm really really really really really sry if it takes me a while to post occasionally.
If it's Leya's beauty that makes her too perfect, I can easily take care of that. If it's both Leya and her horse and are too perfect, then I can take care of both of them in one blow.could ya'll be a little more specific on what kind of perfect she is for me? R&R! I look forward to your opinions on what I should do to mar Leya's horrible perfection!
