((This is what happens when you have too much free time on your hands))
Announcer: "Are you bored with all the regular slayers merchandise out on the market? Are you tired of the same old action figures. Do you demand excitement!? Well here at reality Co. we give you, the customer, what you've been asking for."
PIMP DADDY ZEL: This plushie comes with bona fide pimpin hat, pimpin cane, and gold teeth. Pull the string and here such phrases as "I'm all about the benjamins." Just 9.95!
Double your enjoyment of the Zelgadiss plushie with our Slayers hos series:
Unbeweavable Lina!: comes with several mix and mach wigs and hairpieces
Bootylicious Amelia: Comes with real ghetto attitude. She's a chicken head and proud of it!
Martina: Comes as is
Baby Momma Slyphiel: She's so nice, what player wouldn't want her has his baby's momma, comes with diaper bag.
Also: Collect The Pimpin Ho-tel. Gold plated with real working Jacuzzi!
The pimpmobile: Red corvette with gold rims. Plays "Big pimpin" on horn
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PROFESSOR GOURRY: Comes with real working bubble pipe and monocle for that oh so distinguished look. Also choose one of Gourry's favorite books including : Hop on Pop, The sesame street alphabet book, and Barney counts by twos!
Alternate Lifestyle Xellos and Zelgadiss: …
80's XELLOS: Comes with mullet
HIPPIE REZO: Comes with sunglasses
Schoolmarm Martina: Come fully dressed
WONDERBRA LINA!: Lina's wish finally comes true
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We also have:
THE SHIPPERS SPECIAL: comes with Las Vegas wedding chapel along with phony Elvis plushie to perform the ceremony. Chose from the following couples (each couple sold separately)
Lina and Gourry: (Shotgun wedding)
Amelia and Zelgadiss: (Drunken wedding)
Xellos and Filia: (Fantasy wedding)
Martina and Zangulus: (Fairy tale wedding)
Slyphiel and Valgarv: (Not gonna last wedding. Comes complete with divorce papers and spousal support ruling)
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S&M Xellos: (must be at least 18 to order, dog collar sold separately)
Bust a move Shabranigdu- dances to "You drive me crazy."
Therapy Zel: Zel finally copes with his appearance (comes with self help book and Prozac)
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ALTERNATE SHIPPER SPECIALS:
Xellos and Amelia: Amelia comes with leather outfit and matching whip
Valgarv and Filia: Comes with free certificate for family therapy
Lina and Zelgadiss: Lina comes with bitch slapping action
Slyphiel and Gourry: Slyphiel comes with various deserts (the best way to a man's stomach)
Xellos and Zelgadiss: …
Xellos and Gourry: Xel comes with an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt
Xellos and Lina: Lina comes with kung foo grip
Xellos and Valgarv: …
Xellos and Xellos:…
Xellos and Slyphiel: comes with bottle of tequila
Xellos and Amelia: Xellos comes with earplugs
Xellos and Martina: Xellos comes with earplugs
Xellos and Zangulus: …
Gourry and Filia: Filia comes with irish coffee
Gourry and Amelia: both come with perpetual look of confusement
Gourry and Naga:…
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And for the men in our audience:
SLAYERS SLUMBER PARTY: all the slayers women (+ wonderbra Lina) dressed in their slumberparty best. All come with lace nighties
Also
(we couldn't figure out a good reason to get the guys undressed so) SKINNY DIPPING: the slayers men all go out for a dip on a warm day (anatomically correct, must be 18 to order)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------
WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SLAYERS!
Announcer: "Are you bored with all the regular slayers merchandise out on the market? Are you tired of the same old action figures. Do you demand excitement!? Well here at reality Co. we give you, the customer, what you've been asking for."
PIMP DADDY ZEL: This plushie comes with bona fide pimpin hat, pimpin cane, and gold teeth. Pull the string and here such phrases as "I'm all about the benjamins." Just 9.95!
Double your enjoyment of the Zelgadiss plushie with our Slayers hos series:
Unbeweavable Lina!: comes with several mix and mach wigs and hairpieces
Bootylicious Amelia: Comes with real ghetto attitude. She's a chicken head and proud of it!
Martina: Comes as is
Baby Momma Slyphiel: She's so nice, what player wouldn't want her has his baby's momma, comes with diaper bag.
Also: Collect The Pimpin Ho-tel. Gold plated with real working Jacuzzi!
The pimpmobile: Red corvette with gold rims. Plays "Big pimpin" on horn
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------
PROFESSOR GOURRY: Comes with real working bubble pipe and monocle for that oh so distinguished look. Also choose one of Gourry's favorite books including : Hop on Pop, The sesame street alphabet book, and Barney counts by twos!
Alternate Lifestyle Xellos and Zelgadiss: …
80's XELLOS: Comes with mullet
HIPPIE REZO: Comes with sunglasses
Schoolmarm Martina: Come fully dressed
WONDERBRA LINA!: Lina's wish finally comes true
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------
We also have:
THE SHIPPERS SPECIAL: comes with Las Vegas wedding chapel along with phony Elvis plushie to perform the ceremony. Chose from the following couples (each couple sold separately)
Lina and Gourry: (Shotgun wedding)
Amelia and Zelgadiss: (Drunken wedding)
Xellos and Filia: (Fantasy wedding)
Martina and Zangulus: (Fairy tale wedding)
Slyphiel and Valgarv: (Not gonna last wedding. Comes complete with divorce papers and spousal support ruling)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------
S&M Xellos: (must be at least 18 to order, dog collar sold separately)
Bust a move Shabranigdu- dances to "You drive me crazy."
Therapy Zel: Zel finally copes with his appearance (comes with self help book and Prozac)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------
ALTERNATE SHIPPER SPECIALS:
Xellos and Amelia: Amelia comes with leather outfit and matching whip
Valgarv and Filia: Comes with free certificate for family therapy
Lina and Zelgadiss: Lina comes with bitch slapping action
Slyphiel and Gourry: Slyphiel comes with various deserts (the best way to a man's stomach)
Xellos and Zelgadiss: …
Xellos and Gourry: Xel comes with an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt
Xellos and Lina: Lina comes with kung foo grip
Xellos and Valgarv: …
Xellos and Xellos:…
Xellos and Slyphiel: comes with bottle of tequila
Xellos and Amelia: Xellos comes with earplugs
Xellos and Martina: Xellos comes with earplugs
Xellos and Zangulus: …
Gourry and Filia: Filia comes with irish coffee
Gourry and Amelia: both come with perpetual look of confusement
Gourry and Naga:…
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------
And for the men in our audience:
SLAYERS SLUMBER PARTY: all the slayers women (+ wonderbra Lina) dressed in their slumberparty best. All come with lace nighties
Also
(we couldn't figure out a good reason to get the guys undressed so) SKINNY DIPPING: the slayers men all go out for a dip on a warm day (anatomically correct, must be 18 to order)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------
WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SLAYERS!
