Repercussions, Part 6
Willow ran through the cemetery as fast as her legs could carry her, stake in hand. She could feel the pounding of her heart in rhythm with the pounding of her boots on the ground. Just a few more yards, she told herself, I'm almost there....
The crypt door flew open and Spike whirled around just in time to see Willow slam it shut and throw herself against the door, breathing hard.
"Red! Are you alright? Where the hell have you been?" He rushed over to her and put his arms around her. He could smell the fear on her and feel her trembling in his arms. "Some nasties tryin' to get you, sweetheart?" he asked more gently.
"I...I don't know. Probably just my imagination. I heard something and I got spooked. I got talking to someone and I forgot the time, I'm so stupid." She squeezed him tighter. "I hate being afraid."
"Hey, hey, none of that. You've patrolled plenty of times before. What got you so scared, pet?"
She pulled back and looked up into his face. "I'm helpless now. I've got no magic to fall back on."
Spike smoothed her hair back from her face. "First, you're not helpless. But we've talked about this before. You need to be able to use it at least for emergencies, don't you think?"
"No!" She pulled away from him and walked to the other side of the crypt. He sighed heavily.
"But Red, to save your life?"
"I said no. Are you ready to leave?"
Spike decided to let it go this time. He wasn't up to dealing with the resolve face at the moment. He walked over to the refrigerator and began rummaging around on top of it. "Give us a minute, pet." Finally, he found what he was looking for. "Aha! I knew they had to be around here somewhere." He held up a half empty carton of cigarettes and took out a pack.
Willow gave him a distasteful look. "I thought you were trying to quit."
"I am tryin'. I'm just not succeeding." He gave her a grin, and despite herself, she smiled back. She really did love this man.
"O.K., o.k., I've got the classifieds here. I've taken the liberty of circling a few I thought you might be interested in. See?" She handed Spike the paper, with a few ads circled in black ink.
"Large windows, lots of light..." he shook his head. "Again with the sunlight jokes, Red?" He took out his lighter and lit a cigarette.
"You smiled. I saw you."
He blew smoke at her. "Did not."
"Did too."
************************************************************************
In the end, Spike quickly chose a small basement apartment near the campus. He dropped Willow off back at her hotel, and then went looking for Anya to let her know that he'd used her name as a reference on the lease. He could have called, he supposed, but he had a few other things to settle with her. Things best said face to face. She wasn't at her apartment, so he dropped by the Magic Box. It hadn't reopened yet, but as he looked through the window he saw that the rebuilding was completed, and only a few areas needed some finishing touches. The front of the store was dark, but there was a light on in the back and he could see someone moving around inside. He rapped on the door, and Anya walked into his line of sight. She smiled when she recognized him, and unlocked the door.
"Spike! So nice to see you. Please come in."
"Thanks, Anya," he stepped inside and she locked the door behind him.
"I was just stocking a few shelves. I've got shipments coming in every day, and there's so much to do before the reopening," she said excitedly, clasping her hands together.
"Need some help? I should start earning my keep, I reckon."
"Sure, come on back." She began to walk toward the back of the store.
"Anya, wait..." he said. She turned and looked at him expectantly. "I, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry if I hurt you, or caused you more problems with Harris, or, um, ...God, this is awkward."
She smiled softly. "I should be the one apologizing to you."
"Me? Why?"
"Because I was trying to use you that night to get vengeance on Xander. That's why I got out the liquor. Of course, that's not what it ended up to be. I want you to know that. I didn't have sex with you to get vengeance on Xander. It was just..."
"You were drunk...." he said helpfully.
"and you smelled really good," she finished. "But then, you always do. Anyway, I may not have been human for that long, but I know what that was. Two sad, lonely people finding solace in each other. But thank you for all the nice things you said to me that night."
"I meant every one of them," he smiled.
"O.K.!" she said, clapping her hands together. "Is the icky, uncomfortable stuff over with? I just want to know, so I can get back to stocking my shelves. The sooner we open, the sooner we make money!"
"On with the money making, luv."
************************************************************************
School would be starting in a few days, and Willow had managed to get a dorm room, much to her relief. She really didn't want to go back to her parents' house. But now she faced another dreaded task, which was packing her room. She had to face Buffy, who had been oh so polite to her, but whom she hadn't had a real conversation with yet. And Dawn, who had not been so polite, but who could blame her. And that room. That god awful room that held so many wonderful memories and a couple of really terrible ones. She really hoped they'd gotten the blood out of the carpet, because she didn't know what she would do if she had to see that.
Buffy had told her to come on over when she called, and Giles had dropped her off. Buffy had looked tired when she opened the door, but she smiled at Willow and hugged her when she came in.
"You want some packing help?" Buffy asked.
"Sure."
"Come on, I'll go up with you." Buffy opened the door to the room and they both stood in the doorway. "I know this is hard," said Buffy, putting her hands on Willow's shoulders. The floor had been cleaned right away, and then the door had been shut and the room pretty much left the way it was. It smelled of eucalyptus and herbs and the mingled scents of Willow and Tara.
"I never asked you," said Willow, "what happened, with Tara. Afterwards. I should have, I should have taken care of her. I just left her here," she said, her voice wavering.
"Dawn found her," Buffy said softly. "And she wouldn't leave her. She stayed with her until Xander and I came back."
Willow looked at her with huge, horror filled eyes. "Dawnie? Oh no. And then I, oh, God, Buffy!"
Buffy rubbed her back and wanted to tell her it was o.k. Except it wasn't. Willow walked into the room and sat down dejectedly on the bed. "I'm never going to be able to fix all this," she said. "I've done too much damage."
"I know the feeling," said Buffy, sitting down next to her, "but sometimes it's not about fixing. Sometimes it's about accepting, and forgiving." She looked into her friends eyes. "I don't know if things will ever be the same. I don't know if I even want them to be. But, I forgive you Will. And I love you. I always will." Willow hugged her. "And now, for the packing, right? I forgot, I have some boxes down in the basement. I'll go grab them."
Willow watched her leave, and then looked around the room. She picked up a photograph off the nightstand and traced the smiling faces with her fingers. Silent tears slid down her cheeks. Dawn stood in the doorway, watching her. Without a word, she stepped into the room and sat down on the bed next to Willow.
"Thank you for staying with her, Dawnie."
Dawn reached out and ran her finger along the edge of the frame. "You're welcome."
TBC
Willow ran through the cemetery as fast as her legs could carry her, stake in hand. She could feel the pounding of her heart in rhythm with the pounding of her boots on the ground. Just a few more yards, she told herself, I'm almost there....
The crypt door flew open and Spike whirled around just in time to see Willow slam it shut and throw herself against the door, breathing hard.
"Red! Are you alright? Where the hell have you been?" He rushed over to her and put his arms around her. He could smell the fear on her and feel her trembling in his arms. "Some nasties tryin' to get you, sweetheart?" he asked more gently.
"I...I don't know. Probably just my imagination. I heard something and I got spooked. I got talking to someone and I forgot the time, I'm so stupid." She squeezed him tighter. "I hate being afraid."
"Hey, hey, none of that. You've patrolled plenty of times before. What got you so scared, pet?"
She pulled back and looked up into his face. "I'm helpless now. I've got no magic to fall back on."
Spike smoothed her hair back from her face. "First, you're not helpless. But we've talked about this before. You need to be able to use it at least for emergencies, don't you think?"
"No!" She pulled away from him and walked to the other side of the crypt. He sighed heavily.
"But Red, to save your life?"
"I said no. Are you ready to leave?"
Spike decided to let it go this time. He wasn't up to dealing with the resolve face at the moment. He walked over to the refrigerator and began rummaging around on top of it. "Give us a minute, pet." Finally, he found what he was looking for. "Aha! I knew they had to be around here somewhere." He held up a half empty carton of cigarettes and took out a pack.
Willow gave him a distasteful look. "I thought you were trying to quit."
"I am tryin'. I'm just not succeeding." He gave her a grin, and despite herself, she smiled back. She really did love this man.
"O.K., o.k., I've got the classifieds here. I've taken the liberty of circling a few I thought you might be interested in. See?" She handed Spike the paper, with a few ads circled in black ink.
"Large windows, lots of light..." he shook his head. "Again with the sunlight jokes, Red?" He took out his lighter and lit a cigarette.
"You smiled. I saw you."
He blew smoke at her. "Did not."
"Did too."
************************************************************************
In the end, Spike quickly chose a small basement apartment near the campus. He dropped Willow off back at her hotel, and then went looking for Anya to let her know that he'd used her name as a reference on the lease. He could have called, he supposed, but he had a few other things to settle with her. Things best said face to face. She wasn't at her apartment, so he dropped by the Magic Box. It hadn't reopened yet, but as he looked through the window he saw that the rebuilding was completed, and only a few areas needed some finishing touches. The front of the store was dark, but there was a light on in the back and he could see someone moving around inside. He rapped on the door, and Anya walked into his line of sight. She smiled when she recognized him, and unlocked the door.
"Spike! So nice to see you. Please come in."
"Thanks, Anya," he stepped inside and she locked the door behind him.
"I was just stocking a few shelves. I've got shipments coming in every day, and there's so much to do before the reopening," she said excitedly, clasping her hands together.
"Need some help? I should start earning my keep, I reckon."
"Sure, come on back." She began to walk toward the back of the store.
"Anya, wait..." he said. She turned and looked at him expectantly. "I, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry if I hurt you, or caused you more problems with Harris, or, um, ...God, this is awkward."
She smiled softly. "I should be the one apologizing to you."
"Me? Why?"
"Because I was trying to use you that night to get vengeance on Xander. That's why I got out the liquor. Of course, that's not what it ended up to be. I want you to know that. I didn't have sex with you to get vengeance on Xander. It was just..."
"You were drunk...." he said helpfully.
"and you smelled really good," she finished. "But then, you always do. Anyway, I may not have been human for that long, but I know what that was. Two sad, lonely people finding solace in each other. But thank you for all the nice things you said to me that night."
"I meant every one of them," he smiled.
"O.K.!" she said, clapping her hands together. "Is the icky, uncomfortable stuff over with? I just want to know, so I can get back to stocking my shelves. The sooner we open, the sooner we make money!"
"On with the money making, luv."
************************************************************************
School would be starting in a few days, and Willow had managed to get a dorm room, much to her relief. She really didn't want to go back to her parents' house. But now she faced another dreaded task, which was packing her room. She had to face Buffy, who had been oh so polite to her, but whom she hadn't had a real conversation with yet. And Dawn, who had not been so polite, but who could blame her. And that room. That god awful room that held so many wonderful memories and a couple of really terrible ones. She really hoped they'd gotten the blood out of the carpet, because she didn't know what she would do if she had to see that.
Buffy had told her to come on over when she called, and Giles had dropped her off. Buffy had looked tired when she opened the door, but she smiled at Willow and hugged her when she came in.
"You want some packing help?" Buffy asked.
"Sure."
"Come on, I'll go up with you." Buffy opened the door to the room and they both stood in the doorway. "I know this is hard," said Buffy, putting her hands on Willow's shoulders. The floor had been cleaned right away, and then the door had been shut and the room pretty much left the way it was. It smelled of eucalyptus and herbs and the mingled scents of Willow and Tara.
"I never asked you," said Willow, "what happened, with Tara. Afterwards. I should have, I should have taken care of her. I just left her here," she said, her voice wavering.
"Dawn found her," Buffy said softly. "And she wouldn't leave her. She stayed with her until Xander and I came back."
Willow looked at her with huge, horror filled eyes. "Dawnie? Oh no. And then I, oh, God, Buffy!"
Buffy rubbed her back and wanted to tell her it was o.k. Except it wasn't. Willow walked into the room and sat down dejectedly on the bed. "I'm never going to be able to fix all this," she said. "I've done too much damage."
"I know the feeling," said Buffy, sitting down next to her, "but sometimes it's not about fixing. Sometimes it's about accepting, and forgiving." She looked into her friends eyes. "I don't know if things will ever be the same. I don't know if I even want them to be. But, I forgive you Will. And I love you. I always will." Willow hugged her. "And now, for the packing, right? I forgot, I have some boxes down in the basement. I'll go grab them."
Willow watched her leave, and then looked around the room. She picked up a photograph off the nightstand and traced the smiling faces with her fingers. Silent tears slid down her cheeks. Dawn stood in the doorway, watching her. Without a word, she stepped into the room and sat down on the bed next to Willow.
"Thank you for staying with her, Dawnie."
Dawn reached out and ran her finger along the edge of the frame. "You're welcome."
TBC
