Disclaimer: I own Hex, Maeve, Peter, Norman, Rowan, Robert, Peggy, and Maggie McGonagall. (That was a mouthful! :D) I suppose I also made up the Soldering Charm. Hogwarts and Mr. Weasley belongs to JK Rowling. (But I made up Professor Sprout's first name.) The "bad boys, bad boys" and "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" songs also don't belong to me, and the Beastie Boys own themselves.

The food-dumping scene was inspired by an obscure '80s teen movie (whose title eludes me at the moment) featurring Clayton Rohner, Billy Jacoby, Sherilyn Fenn, and the Owen Hart lookalike who also played the bad guy from The Karate Kid. (Cheesy teen movies are one of my guilty pleasures. :D)

Additional Technical Notes: I have no experience with electronics repair, so pardon me if I touched only lightly on the topic and was inaccurate in my treatment thereof. I would also like to state for the record that this chapter does not in any way imply that the TV show featuring the "bad boys, bad boys" song is a "bad cop show." The phrase pertains more to Hex's situation than to the TV show.

Introductory Remarks: Welcome to the new reviewers! I'm so glad you like Hex. I love him, too. I was planning to leave all you guys hanging on his arrest while I'm in Europe with my grandmother, but as a token of appreciation, here are a few more chapters. I will be gone until May 4th, tho, so further updates will have to wait until after that :( …but like I said, this entire fic has been written so yes, the ending exists! Thank you all so much again! :D ~ Ara Kane

Scenes from a Bad Cop Show

"What?" Hex blurted out. What laws had he broken? The Great Hall began to buzz as people began to whisper and point at him.

"No!" he heard Maeve cry.

At the next table, Draco Malfoy laughed coldly. "Get him, Mr. Weasley!"

"SHUT UP, MALFOY!" the Hufflepuffs chorused.

By now, Professors Sprout and Dumbledore had joined the scene. "This is all a big mistake!" Professor Sprout exclaimed, looking like a flustered gray hen. "Look at him! The boy doesn't know even know what he's done!"

Dumbledore raised a hand for silence. "Calm down, Zinnia. We will all go to my office and sort this out. Carry on," he told the room at large. "We will be back shortly."

But everyone continued to watch in stunned silence as Hex was marched down the length of the Great Hall, flanked by Dumbledore and Mr. Weasley, Professor Sprout bringing up the rear. He felt like he was in a bad cop show. What had he done? Bad boys, bad boys, what'cha gonna do…

As he walked down the corridor toward the Headmaster's office, the Fat Friar glided into view. "Confess, my son," he intoned. "The truth will set you free."

Dread settled heavily in Hex's stomach as the statue of the gargoyle jumped aside, admitting the group into Dumbledore's office. "Now," the headmaster said quietly. "What is this about?"

"I received information from my son Ronald that magic was being worked on Muggle items here at Hogwarts," Mr. Weasley announced.

"Zinnia, please bring Ronald Weasley here," Dumbledore told Professor Sprout.

The witch fixed Mr. Weasley with a steely glare. "You will not touch the boy while I am gone."

Mr. Weasley had the decency to blush. "I only intend to question him at this point, Professor; we will discuss punishment only if he is proven guilty."

Professor Sprout glared at him one more time before finally bustling from the office. She returned shortly with Ron in tow. Hex looked at his friend, wondering what he was up to. Ron had a strange glitter in his eyes.

"Now, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said to Ron, "would you care to tell us the whole story?"

The other boy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word out, a commotion was heard outside Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster frowned slightly and waved his wand, opening the door.

Hex watched frozen as a group of Hufflepuffs, led by Maeve and Peter, marched inside, most of them carrying the stereos and electric shavers he had repaired. "If you please, Professor Dumbledore," Maeve said in a tone that was barely polite, "we've figured out what this is all about."

"Miss Moondaughter!" Professor Sprout admonished, scandalized. "We do not use that tone of voice with school —"

She turned pink and took a deep, calming breath. "I beg your pardon," she said in a more controlled voice, "but if this is about the Muggle things working in Hogwarts, it's true that Hex fixed Justin's stereo. He's been fixing things for many Hufflepuffs. He's saving up for a broomstick so he can play on the house team." Maeve's golden eyes were close to spitting sparks when she stared Ron down. "But he didn't use any magic. I saw him fix those things with only his hands. And they're all doing what they're supposed to…nothing more." She nodded imperiously to Justin. "Show them."

The curly-haired boy gravely popped a CD into his stereo, pressed Play, and the Beastie Boys' voices filled the room. "Amazing!" Mr. Weasley said, an almost comical look of wonder on his face. "But Muggle eckeltronics aren't supposed to work in Hogwarts!"

"They are not supposed to," Dumbledore pointed out, his eyes twinkling, "but it remains possible that they can. Apparently, Mr. Holmstrom has found a way to get them to work. Mr. Finch-Fletchley, if you will allow Mr. Weasley to check your stereo for any enchantments…" (A/N: My canon basis for this whole electronics thing is found on page 548 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Read it carefully!)

"He won't find any," Peter ventured as a delighted Mr. Weasley pounced on the stereo. "Hex couldn't do any magic when he first came to Hogwarts. Hermione Granger's helping him catch up…" His voice trailed off as he realized everyone was listening to him.

"I am aware of that, Mr. Brandegoris," Dumbledore said. "And we will determine whether Mr. Holmstrom is all caught up when we administer his equivalency exams during the Christmas holiday. But perhaps Mr. Holmstrom did a bit of 'independent research'…"

Hex shook his head, finally shocked into action. "I used to work at a repair shop, so I know how to fix things and stuff like that," he said. "I thought my Walkman was broken, but it wasn't. Still, I made some adjustments to it. I may have used a Soldering Charm sometimes," he admitted, "but that's about it."

"There are no spells on this stereo," Mr. Weasley announced, looking almost sorry that he couldn't play with it any further.

More composed now at the proof of Hex's innocence, Maeve smiled and nodded to the first year owner of the Game Boy. "Why don't you show Mr. Weasley your game, Rowan?"

Blushing and nodding, Rowan handed over his Game Boy, which sent Mr. Weasley into raptures. "Can you detect any spells, Arthur?" Dumbledore asked.

"None that I can see," Mr. Weasley replied absently, absorbed in the Super Mario Brothers. "But I may need some time to inspect the evidence more closely…"

"I believe we will trust your judgement. And I believe it is settled that Mr. Holmstrom is not guilty." The headmaster beamed as the Hufflepuffs whooped and patted Hex's back.

Professor Sprout puffed up indignantly. "I knew the boy was innocent all along!"

"Now, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore addressed Ron gravely, "it is a serious matter when one student accuses another of illegal activities."

The room fell silent. Even Mr. Weasley managed to tear his eyes away from the Game Boy and look at his son, whose face still had to decide whether it was going to turn red or white. "Professor Dumbledore is right, Ron," he said.

"Don't hit him," Hex blurted out. When Mr. Weasley looked at him as if he were insane, he turned red. "I mean, it's OK. I didn't do anything wrong, but… anyway, he did the right thing in telling you. I should have done that — asked permission or something."

"That is very magnanimous of you, Mr. Holmstrom," Dumbledore said, as Ron's face finally opted to turn crimson. "Now, Mr. Weasley, no points will be deducted from Gryffindor. However, I believe a detention is only appropriate in this case, is it not?"

To his credit, Ron took it like a man. Blushing again, he squared his shoulders and nodded. He and his father left the office, with Maeve looking daggers after him.

Dumbledore surveyed the group of Hufflepuffs before him with quiet amusement. "You handled this matter very well, Mr. Holmstrom."

Hex shrugged. "Ron wouldn't pull a stunt like that if he didn't think something was really wrong."

"Nevertheless, you showed true loyalty in thinking of him as a friend first and foremost. Take ten points for Hufflepuff." The headmaster smiled. "And I believe two points should go to each of your supporters for showing loyalty as well. I wouldn't have expected anything less from the Hufflepuffs."

"Damn straight," Maeve said. Her eyes widened when she realized what she had said in front of two teachers, and she giggled.

Dumbledore nodded to Professor Sprout, who hustled the mob from the office, leaving Hex and the headmaster alone. "Now, Mr. Holmstrom, I will allow you to carry on with your activities, as I expect the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors would also like to avail of your services."

"Thank you, sir," he said.

"But I would like to ask you not to fix any calculators or computers, things that may give students an undue advantage over their classmates. Please stick to items for recreation."

"Yes, sir."

"And telephones and televisions will never pick up proper signals here in Hogwarts, so I advise you not to try and fix those as well."

"Yes, sir. I kind of knew that because we could never get a good radio signal on anyone's stereo."

"And I hope this won't interfere with your schoolwork…?"

"No, sir. I promised Maggie — Miss McGonagall — it wouldn't."

Dumbledore nodded, smiling. "Very good. I see the McGonagall sisters are alike when it most matters. That will be all, Mr. Holmstrom. You may return to your dormitory."

The next morning, many were surprised to see Hex come down for breakfast with the rest of the Hufflepuffs. "I suppose they were expecting you to get carted off to Azkaban," Maeve laughed.

"I hate to disappoint them," Hex replied, grinning and bowing to the entire Hall before sitting down, "but I'm still a free man."

All of Hufflepuff House sat together, talking and laughing amiably over breakfast. The previous night, Hex had returned to the dormitory and was greeted by a rousing cheer. Everyone had stayed up to show support for the guy who won the house twenty-six points by getting himself arrested. It soon turned into a party when people broke out their supplies of sweets and cakes from home to share with everyone else. Ernie, Robert, Justin, and a couple of other brave souls risked Filch's wrath by sneaking into the kitchens for more food and drinks. "I thought we were dead when Mrs. Norris found us," Robert was telling everyone, "but then Norman showed up and…well, started flirting with her."

Hex watched everyone laugh at the story. Somehow, Halloween had changed the Hufflepuffs. Before, everyone was polite but minded their own business. Today, they were talking and laughing together like real friends. He dimly remembered the entire table telling Malfoy to shut up the night before. Ernie, Robert and the other wizard-born Hufflepuffs weren't giving him you're-weird looks anymore. Peggy was even pouring herself a bowl of cereal.

And Maeve, who used to be so sweet, now had a dark look on her face. The entire table — indeed, the entire Great Hall — fell silent as Ron approached the Hufflepuff table, flanked by Harry and Hermione. "Er, hi, Hex," the red-haired Gryffindor said in a falsely bright voice.

"Hey," Hex said politely, nodding to Harry and Hermione. "How's it going?"

"All right…and you?"

"Just fine. What's up?"

Ron turned red under the dirty looks from many of the Hufflepuffs. "I just —"

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Potty, the Weasel and the Mudblood, come to pay the Yank a visit," Malfoy drawled, walking up to the group. Behind him, Crabbe and Goyle upset a few breakfasts onto the laps of their Hufflepuff owners.

"Why, Wacko Barf-boy!" Hex said in a voice loud enough to carry throughout the Great Hall. "How lovely of you to drop in, too!"

Malfoy flushed pink as almost everyone within earshot laughed at his new name. "You're pronouncing my name all wrong, you uncouth lout."

"Did you hear that?" Hex jumped up onto the bench and addressed the room in the same loud voice. "He called me a lout! I'm hurt, Barf-boy. I'm really hurt. But I know you're just doing that because you're angry right now, and you're a loser, and no one likes you."

By now, Crabbe and Goyle had moved on to the Ravenclaw table and were playing tiddlywinks with breakfast plates. A third year girl covered in eggs burst into tears.

"People," Hex went on, "Barf-boy and his friends Crabbe and Goyle feel bad. They think that no one likes them. Well, I like them. Don't you?"

"NO!" most of the students replied emphatically.

"Oh, that's harsh," Hex continued to orate. "They're all very nice on the inside. Why don't we take a moment to ask ourselves, why are they so mean? Why are they trying so hard to hide who they really are?

"Why, Barf-boy? Is it because your mommy never let you sleep with your widdle teddy bear when you were a kid?" The Hall began to laugh as Malfoy blushed in embarrassment. "Or maybe you had cooties and no one wanted to play with you! Poor, poor Barf-boy! I feel your pain! (A/N: Haha, Bill Clinton moment right there…)

"And how about Crabbe and Goyle?" At the sound of their names, the two Slytherins quit trying to juggle Terry Boot's pancakes and looked blankly in Hex's direction. "Why do they spill food on people? Huh? Crabbe and Goyle, were you messy widdle babies? Maybe you didn't like your strained spinach and spit that up all over your mommies?

"Actually, I know why Barf-boy, Crabbe and Goyle are always so mean." Hex held up and wiggled a pinky finger. "All of us guys who've seen them in the quidditch locker rooms know why!" The Great Hall roared with laughter as Malfoy's face burned. "I think we should do something real nice for our friends, Barf-boy, Crabbe and Goyle. Shouldn't we let them feel the love?" As the rest of the Hall yelled its approval, Hex held up his plate of bacon and eggs. "Yes, we should! Everyone, pick up your plates! That's right!" he yelled as everyone except the Slytherins picked up their plates and held them up high. "Now, on the count of three, let's share our breakfast with our three best friends! One…two…three!"

Bellowing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow," Hex upended his plate over Crabbe's thick head. The entire Hall rang with the ditty as many from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw followed suit, doling out bacon, eggs, toast and even pumpkin juice over Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Maeve took a special pleasure in pouring a bowl of cereal over Malfoy's head.

Everyone was standing and applauding the three food-covered figures when Professor McGonagall entered the room to investigate the noise. "What is the meaning of this?" she demanded of the suddenly-silent Hall.

"They didn't want to eat breakfast, Professor," Hex said. "And in America, we have a saying that goes 'Eat it, or wear it!'"

"Whether you leave it on your plate or wear it, food gets wasted nonetheless. Is this your doing?"

"Please, Professor, they brought it on themselves," a third-year Ravenclaw with cereal on her robes piped up. "They've been doing it to us for years!"

Professor McGonagall's lips thinned, but not in anger, as most of the Hall corroborated this story. "This childish behavior still merits punishment, Mr. Holmstrom. Ten points from Hufflepuff and detention for you. Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle, ten points each from Slytherin for your childish behavior. Clean yourselves up."

The Great Hall applauded Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle out of the room, and sat down to a stone-cold breakfast that tasted marvelous.

After a scolding and a laugh over the incident, Maggie gave Hex Saturday off so he could serve his detention. While the rest of their year went off to spend the weekend in the magical village of Hogsmeade, he and Ron (who was serving the detention given to him last Halloween) were given shovels and ordered to muck out the school stables.

"Oh, man! That reeks!" Hex exclaimed when they entered the building. It was an uncharacteristically warm day, and the smell of manure was so strong in the closed space that it was as if they had walked into a huge pile of the stuff. "No wonder Filch walked away cackling! What the hell lives here?"

"More importantly," Ron choked, "what do they eat?"

"Let's open the windows!" The windows hadn't been opened in ages, so it took a while and a lot effort to get them open. It didn't help much. "Can you get points off your house for air pollution?" Hex said, trying to inhale as little as possible.

The other boy resolutely grabbed his shovel. "Come on. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish."

Either way, the job lasted longer than either of them would have liked. The hot sun made the already unbearable smell even more stifling. They worked right through lunch (no one was willing to brave the odor to bring them any food) and for a good long time after that. The shadows were getting longer and the setting sunlight turning golden when the magical wheelbarrows carted the last loads away, leaving the two boys sweaty, aching, hungry, and smelling none too fresh.

Hex collapsed on a grassy bank under a tree. He had long since shed his T-shirt, and the grass felt wonderfully cool against his skin. "I feel like shit."

Ron laughed and fell onto the grass next to him. "You smell like it, too."

"And I suppose you smell like flowers." The other boy had taken his own shirt off, too. Hex was embarrassed to note that while they were both fifteen, Ron already had hair on his chest. (A/N: Just an idle, locker-room-type observation, no slash intended.)

"I am bloody starving."

"I want a shower, a cheeseburger, and my bed, in that order."

"We'd also better go to Madam Pomfrey," Ron said, inspecting the blisters on his palms.

"After the shower, or she'll accuse us of contaminating the hospital wing." For a while, they just lay there, letting the gentle breeze cool their sweat and ruffle the leaves on the branches overhead. "Where'd everyone else go again?"

"Hogsmeade. It's the only known all-wizard village in Britain. Too bad you couldn't go today."

Hex shrugged. "I never go because I work on weekends. Wish I could, though. Maeve's got my money and she's buying my broomstick."

"Have you got enough saved up, then?"

"Yeah. She says I might be able to get a good secondhand Comet Two-something. God knows I can't use a school broomstick for quidditch."

Ron smiled slightly. "It'd do us good if you did."

"Ha ha ha. Sorry to disappoint you, dude."

"Dude?"

"Yeah. It's like 'man,' or 'pal,' or 'friend.'"

"Friend, huh?" Ron turned red. "I haven't been much of that to you lately."

"Hey, if this is about Halloween, that's forgotten. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"Maybe I did," the other boy murmured.

"What?"

"Maybe I did," Ron repeated, ashamed. "I'm…I don't know why myself, but, I think—"

"—you were jealous of me hanging around Hermione all the time?"

Ron gaped. "What?"

"Red, there is this tension between the two of you that's as bad as the stink in those stables." Hex chuckled. "If you didn't try to get me arrested because of that, then I don't know why you did it."

They were silent for a moment as Ron digested this information, a mortified look on his face. After a few minutes, his expression softened and he turned as red as his hair. "Bloody hell, I think you're right." He rolled onto his back, dazed. "What do I do now?"

"First you have to know that Hermione's a real nice girl, but we're just friends, OK? So there is no need to be jealous of me."

"She just wouldn't stop talking about you," Ron mumbled. "How well you were doing and all that."

"When Dumbledore told her she would be tutoring me, she wasn't sure she could do it. My guess is she's proud I'm catching up real fast. You could try being supportive or something." Hex smiled as the other boy nodded slowly, still dazed. "You could also try getting up so we can go back to the castle. I still want a shower, a cheeseburger, and my bed."

"You aren't going to say anything about this to her, are you?" Ron asked fearfully.

"Don't worry, dude." The other boy though ruefully about his own secret and what could happen to him if Peter ever found it out. "Your secret's safe with me."

Unfortunately, Hex didn't give Ron any idea of what to do when Hermione actually got back to the castle, so the next evening, sitting next to her in the packed library, he was as relaxed as a board.

Even Harry noticed. "Anything wrong, Ron?"

"No," he replied in a rather abstracted voice, flipping through 1001 Essential Elixirs. Before leaving Hogwarts for the weekend, most of the teachers had given an inordinate amount of assignments to keep the students occupied and drive Madam Pince out of her gourd. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"I don't know. You're acting strange."

Hermione looked up from her Arithmancy homework to look critically at the redheaded boy. "Harry's right, you know. You're acting strange. You should go see Madam Pomfrey."

"There's nothing wrong with me," Ron said, blushing.

From his place with the other Hufflepuffs at the other end of the table, Hex chuckled. "Nothing more wrong than usual, anyway."

"I'm serious, Ron," Hermione insisted. "If you aren't feeling well, you must go to Madam Pomfrey right now."

Hex grinned at the pleading gaze the now crimson-faced Gryffindor shot him. "Madam Pomfrey's done all she can for us, Herm. We're both just still a little stiff from detention yesterday."

"Nothing a little rest won't cure—" Ron added, suddenly grinning crazily, "—Herm."

"If you say so," she said, glaring at her friends, who were unsuccessfully hiding their sniggers at her new nickname. "If any of you call me Herm again, I'll hex you!"

Concluding Remarks: Maeve "murderous"? Oh, my! :D I hope that near-arrest episode showed that she does have some initiative. She gets snooty (and violent) later in this fic — she did grow up with the Malfoys, after all. Don't ever call her a Mary Sue, or she'll very daintily give you a good kick in the pants!

And yippee — an R/H moment! Yes, I am 100% all for Ron and Hermione getting together. (It just makes sense!) And if you're still wondering Hex is trying to keep from Peter, I suggest you refer to the previous chapters, especially the one where he meets them on the train. I've been hinting at it since then!

Up next: Hex's first quidditch match and the aftermath thereof! Enjoy! ~ Ara Kane