Title: Tainted Blood

Author: Corri

Email: Corrielle@yahoo.com

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Up to "Normal Again"

Summary:  Set directly following the events of "Normal Again."  Spike is sick, and when the gang finally figures out that only Buffy can save him, she has to decide how valuable Spike is to her. 

Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these characters.  They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and UPN.

Feedback: Please!  

Author's note: This is my first actually FINISHED Buffy Fanfic. It's more of a Buffy/Spike

friendship piece than an actual romance

Chapter 7

            Tears have a way of cleansing, of making things new.  Buffy was still crying on and off when the trap door above rattled and Tara came down the ladder.  Though she was not any less confused, or any closer to a solution, she was calmer, more resolute. 

            "Willow's at the house waiting for you," was all Tara said.  Buffy nodded and rose from her chair. 

            "You're going to stay here again?" Buffy assumed that she was.  "Are you sure you want to?  It's awfully dingy and depressing."  Tara dropped her backpack on the floor and started pulling things out of it. 

            "I've got some studying to do, so I brought my books, and... oh! Snacks." She tossed a bag of cheese crackers on top of the pile.  "See? I'm all set."

            "Thank you."  It was all Buffy could think of to say.  Tara understood, and gave the slayer a reassuring hug before she climbed back up into daylight. 

            After the dim lighting provided by Spike's scavenged lamps, the sun seemed unnaturally bright.  Buffy squinted, wished she'd brought some sunglasses, and started walking.  She walked past the tombstones, out the cemetery gate, down the street.  Not fast enough.  Not going fast enough, she thought, and broke into a jog.  The movement loosened tense muscles and made the houses pass by a little more quickly.  Still not fast enough.  Have to MOVE, she thought, and before she knew it, she was running like the world was at stake.  She stopped on her own front porch, doubled over trying to catch her breath. 

            "Buffy!  Are you ok? Is Tara ok?  Why were you running?"  Willow asked.  She had seen her friend running down the street at an almost inhuman pace and she was sure that something was wrong. 

            "Fine... I'm fine," Buffy gasped.  "Just... just had to do... something."

            "So you ran all the way here?"

            "Had to feel like I was doing something..." Her breathing was easier now, and Willow guided her inside the house. 

            "You shouldn't have done that," Willow admonished her.  "You were probably exhausted from being up so long, and then running all that way... You look like you're about ready to fall over."

            "What did you find out?" Buffy asked, completely ignoring the other girl's concerns.

            "I think you'd better sit down," Willow told her, and pulled her over to the couch.  "It's the same," she continued once both of them were properly situated.  "The poison in Spike's blood is the same thing that almost killed Angel."  Buffy didn't respond.  Her face remained blank and tired.

            "Are you sure?"

            "I ran some tests last night, and Tara did some magic... stuff to the sample, and we both agree."

            "Did you come up with a way to counteract it?" Buffy asked, just for the sake of asking.  She already knew what the answer was going to be.

            "No, nothing we didn't know about before.  The only antidote for the poison is... well... you," Willow said. 

            "And no Faith this time... not even the hope of that," Buffy murmured, resting her head on the overstuffed couch's arm. 

            "Hey!  Don't give up hope just yet.  I did something... something you might not like, but..."

            "Willow, what did you do?" Buffy demanded, sitting up, hoping that Willow's self-perceived crime didn't involve magic.

            "I called Giles." Buffy sank back down into the couch cushions.

            "Oh.  That's good.  Didn't you... wake him up or something?" she asked.

            "I don't think so... If I did the time difference right it would have been morning already when I called him from the lab.  I told him what happened, asked him to check with his sources in England.  I even thought about calling Wesley..."

            "You didn't!" Buffy interrupted. 

            "Nope.  I didn't think you'd want him telling Angel about how we were trying to save Spike's life."

            "Well that's a relief," Buffy grumbled.

            The portable phone sitting on the table rang, and Willow snatched it up and handed it to Buffy.

            "Please tell me you know something," she said into the speaker, not even asking the caller to identify himself. 

            "It's good to talk to you too, Buffy," Giles said.  She could almost see the sardonic smile on his face. 

            "Hi Giles."
            "Hello.  You sound tired... have you been getting enough rest?" he asked.

            "I was up all last night.  With Spike.  He was delirious, raved for hours about Darla and Angelus and Drusilla.  It was... hard."

            "I can only imagine," Giles said.  "Now listen, Buffy, when Willow called me, I got in touch with a few friends of mine, an expert on supernatural poisons, a chap whose specialty is curses, and a couple of other fellows who have a broad knowledge of vampire physiology.  None of them knew anything."

            "The Council.  What about the Council?" she asked.

            "I tried them as well, but I'm not exactly in their good graces right now, you understand.  They're furious that a Watcher, a paid Watcher, would up and abandon his Slayer, leaving no one to record her activities, and no one to keep an eye on her.  They refused me."

            "They wouldn't help Angel either," Buffy reminded him, though he didn't need reminding.

            "And they certainly weren't about to help Spike.  At least Angel had a soul.  To them, Spike is nothing more than a dangerous curiosity, better dead than alive."

            There was a long silence on the other end of the line.

            "Is that what you think?" she finally asked.

            "What?  Come now, I really don't see what my opinion has to do with..."

            "Giles," Buffy cut him off, "I could save him.  If I wanted to.  I did it once, and I could do it again.  I just don't know if it's right.  That's what I'm asking you."  Now, it was Giles' turn to be silent. 

            "I can't tell you that, Buffy," he said at last.

            "I'm not asking you as a Watcher who's giving me orders!  I'm just asking for your advice!"

            "But if I told you what I thought, you wouldn't have to think through to a decision," he said calmly.

            "I don't want to," Buffy whispered.  She was crying again.  He knew it, and it broke his heart that he couldn't be with her. 

            "You must.  You must decide how valuable an ally Spike is to you, and whether or not you are willing to risk your life to save him."  Giles was using his 'firm and impenetrable' voice, and Buffy knew it would do her no good to argue with him.

            "I don't even know why I feel like this, why I'm so worried," she told him.  "I mean, it's Spike!  You'd think it was Willow, or Dawn, or Xander, or... or you who was in danger."

            "You would worry about Willow and the others, and about me, because we're like family, Buffy," Giles explained gently.  "And whether we like it or not, Spike seems to have... wormed his way into the family.  I must admit, I was worried for his sake as well when Willow called me."

            "Family?" Buffy repeated, hoping Giles hadn't been able to intuit anything about her relationship with Spike.  "Giles, if that's true, we are so dysfunctional it isn't even funny..."

            "Yes, but even dysfunctional families care for one another.  You have to trust yourself, Buffy.  I know that you'll do the right thing."

            "You said care!  What did you mean care?" Buffy demanded.  "Did you mean care as in 'let Spike drink from me' care, or did you mean care like 'put Spike out of his misery and protect everyone else from him just in case he goes evil again'?"

            Giles chuckled.

            "You're beginning to think.  That's good," he said.  "Trust yourself." 

            "I'll try."  Buffy sniffled.  "Bye, Giles."

            "Goodbye, Buffy." 

            She carefully set the phone back on the table. 

            "He couldn't help me," she said to Willow.  "He wouldn't even tell me what he thought I should do.  I have to decide.  Alone."  Willow nodded gravely and put an arm around her friend's shoulder.

            "You'd probably be able to think better if you weren't so tired.  Why don't you go sleep a little?  Or maybe you're hungry?  I tried to make pancakes this morning, but they kind of turned out funny shaped... they taste fine, though."

            "No thanks, Will.  I'm not hungry.  Sleep... now, that does sound good."

            Once in her room, Buffy peeled off the pants and shirt she'd been wearing for the past thirty-six hours and pulled an old t-shirt over her head before falling onto her bed and sleeping the sleep of the totally exhausted.