Title: I'll Never Tell 2/?
Author: Emily
Rating: PG 13
Category: Anya/Xander
Summary: Anya and Xander meet up several years after the break-up.
Spoilers: Hells Bells, Seeing Red, Villains basically all of season six.
Timeline: Set four years after season six.
Feedback: Let me know if you're still liking this and if you want more :) pipergal33@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: fanfiction.net, IAEVDAMH, SU, anywhere else sure just email me and ask :)
AN: Sorry for the long time it took me to write this and post it. Thanks and hugs to everyone who sent me positive feedback, reviewed it at ff.net etc :) Hope you like this new part too.
AN2: I don't have such a good grasp on Xander as Anya so sorry if this isn't as in character as it should be.
~**Part 2**~
" Is that sorry on your breath? Where were you when I was sitting back here missing you to death?
Don't matter now" - It Don't Matter Now, Alison Krauss
It's been a while? That's all I can think of to say to her. It's been years and that's all I have to say to her. No, I have a hundred other things I want to say to her, it's just I went so long without saying any of it. What would it matter now?
" So how've you been?" Anya says casually, quickly regaining her composure. Her face adjusts to an almost calm, everything is fine expression.
" Good. You?"
" Great. I've been great." She says over enthusiastically and looks down, some of the casualness fading from her voice.
" I have a job here. Well not anymore but I did. And a boyfriend, who's a lawyer and really good in bed. Not that I have to justify myself to you or anything. Hell I don't. You know what Xander? Leave me alone. I'm having a really crappy day and you're a big part of that so maybe you should just go because I can't talk to you now. Okay?" She snaps. Geez can she do the outburst thing.
Again there are a hundred things I could have said, like screw you and those sarcastic retorts I was so good at. But I'm so fucking mad I can't think about them.
I turn and start to walk away. Still feels bad walking away. Still I feel freaking *guilty*.
" Xander." She calls after me and all the casualness is gone from her voice. I hear the patter of footsteps as she runs to catch up with me.
" I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I...you didn't ruin my day. I've been meaning to quit that stupid job for ages anyway. Sure you got me fired - "
" I got you fired?" I demand and turn to face her. She has that Anya honesty - that I fell in love with and never found in anyone else - in her voice and I can't walk away from that even if I'm mad at her.
" Yes. I saw you and it...unsettled me and I dropped a statue. Then Bob got pissed at me and I smashed some more stuff and got fired. I won't hold it against you. " She adds.
" Generous of you."
" Oh. Sarcasm. Funny." She sighs. " I guess it wasn't entirely your fault."
" And Michael really isn't that great in bed." She continues.
I shrug and ignore the fact that this means something to me. " You don't have to justify yourself to me."
Anya looks down. " I do because I yelled at you and it was wrong. I'm sorry, okay?" She pauses.
" That sounded pretty human huh? I'm starting to learn the apology thing." She adds with a smile.
I smile back a little.
" It's hard when I don't have anyone to teach me though." Anya says softly and there's a wistful note in her voice.
" Well you seem to be doing good." I say
" Thank you. How're you doing really?" Anya asks.
" What, I can't be good?"
She shakes her head. " No. Life isn't good." I frown. The Anya I knew never spoke like that. She was happy and optimistic and wanted life to be good.
" Sometimes it is." I say and she shrugs, looking a little sad.
" So who's the blond?" Anya changes the subject. Not tactfully and it's been more than a while since someone's spoken to me with complete honesty and ignored tact. God help me but I've kind of missed it.
" Jessica" I tell her and she rolls her eyes.
" Did you just roll your eyes?" I peer at her.
" No! No I didn't. Why would I do that?" She denies.
" C'mon, An, you're dating a *lawyer*. What's a blond compared with that? Besides you used to be blond anyway." I protest.
She looks outraged and opens her mouth to argue but then the corners of her lips twitch and she's smiling.
" Who would have figured?" Anya asks. "You with some blond with a Wonderbra and a career in...publicity?" She decides. I should probably be offended but like I said I've missed this.
" Interior design." I clarify. " And you with some lawyer who drives a Mercedes and buys you lots of presents?"
" A Jaguar. He doesn't buy me that many presents either although he should." She clarifies.
" Who would have figured?" I repeat what she said because it's crazy how things worked out.
Anya laughs suddenly and I laugh too. This *is* crazy. Sure I have things I want to say to her. She probably has things to say to me too. Right now this is crazy and I want to laugh until my lungs hurt. Haven't laughed like that in years. But now, now I do.
" Xander?"
I turn round to face Jessica and feel a strange kind of guilt. It's not as though I've done anything wrong but I feel a kind of guilt.
" What are you doing out here?" She asks. " And why are you laughing like that?"
" Jessica this is Anya. Anya, Jessica" I try to do the introduction thing like Anya is just an old friend. I catch Anya rolling her eyes again before she smiles at Jessica and shakes hands with her.
" Hi" Anya says with a smile.
" It's nice to meet you." Jessica says. " How do you know Xander?"
" Me? Just old friends." Anya lies. "What about you?"
" Oh we're dating."
" Aww, that's cute" She says with a smile. I glance at her, wondering what she's doing. " I love your hair" Anya continues.
Jessica smiles back and touches her hair to check it's still in its style. " Thank you. So how long have you guys known each other?"
" Oh I knew Xander when he was all young and virginal." Anya says. " He lost his virginity to a girl called Faith, did you know that?"
" Uh no." Jessica says frowning slightly and I can see Anya suppressing a smile. I can see what the hell she's doing now and if she doesn't stop -
" Ooh!" Anya exclaims. " Maybe we could all go out for dinner sometime. I have a boyfriend who's a lawyer and you can tell me all about yourself."
" I guess that'd be nice." Jessica says with a smile, deciding to ignore the Faith comment. " It would be interesting to hear about what Xander was like back then."
" Great. How about tonight?" Anya asks.
" Sure. Is that alright with you, Xander? There wasn't anything else you wanted to do in San Francisco was there?" Jessica asks me.
Apart from having dinner with my ex? Who's acting *nice* to my current girlfriend and I'm completely confused as to why? How about anything else?
" That sounds good." I say and force a smile.
" Okay well Anya we'll meet you at the Bridge Restaurant at 8, I hear it's nice there." Jessica says and then she takes my arm in that couply way and we leave.
Dear God. What has she done? I'm not quite sure but this dinner, this can't be good.
* * *
tbc? Feedback, pipergal33@yahoo.co.uk
Author: Emily
Rating: PG 13
Category: Anya/Xander
Summary: Anya and Xander meet up several years after the break-up.
Spoilers: Hells Bells, Seeing Red, Villains basically all of season six.
Timeline: Set four years after season six.
Feedback: Let me know if you're still liking this and if you want more :) pipergal33@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: fanfiction.net, IAEVDAMH, SU, anywhere else sure just email me and ask :)
AN: Sorry for the long time it took me to write this and post it. Thanks and hugs to everyone who sent me positive feedback, reviewed it at ff.net etc :) Hope you like this new part too.
AN2: I don't have such a good grasp on Xander as Anya so sorry if this isn't as in character as it should be.
~**Part 2**~
" Is that sorry on your breath? Where were you when I was sitting back here missing you to death?
Don't matter now" - It Don't Matter Now, Alison Krauss
It's been a while? That's all I can think of to say to her. It's been years and that's all I have to say to her. No, I have a hundred other things I want to say to her, it's just I went so long without saying any of it. What would it matter now?
" So how've you been?" Anya says casually, quickly regaining her composure. Her face adjusts to an almost calm, everything is fine expression.
" Good. You?"
" Great. I've been great." She says over enthusiastically and looks down, some of the casualness fading from her voice.
" I have a job here. Well not anymore but I did. And a boyfriend, who's a lawyer and really good in bed. Not that I have to justify myself to you or anything. Hell I don't. You know what Xander? Leave me alone. I'm having a really crappy day and you're a big part of that so maybe you should just go because I can't talk to you now. Okay?" She snaps. Geez can she do the outburst thing.
Again there are a hundred things I could have said, like screw you and those sarcastic retorts I was so good at. But I'm so fucking mad I can't think about them.
I turn and start to walk away. Still feels bad walking away. Still I feel freaking *guilty*.
" Xander." She calls after me and all the casualness is gone from her voice. I hear the patter of footsteps as she runs to catch up with me.
" I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I...you didn't ruin my day. I've been meaning to quit that stupid job for ages anyway. Sure you got me fired - "
" I got you fired?" I demand and turn to face her. She has that Anya honesty - that I fell in love with and never found in anyone else - in her voice and I can't walk away from that even if I'm mad at her.
" Yes. I saw you and it...unsettled me and I dropped a statue. Then Bob got pissed at me and I smashed some more stuff and got fired. I won't hold it against you. " She adds.
" Generous of you."
" Oh. Sarcasm. Funny." She sighs. " I guess it wasn't entirely your fault."
" And Michael really isn't that great in bed." She continues.
I shrug and ignore the fact that this means something to me. " You don't have to justify yourself to me."
Anya looks down. " I do because I yelled at you and it was wrong. I'm sorry, okay?" She pauses.
" That sounded pretty human huh? I'm starting to learn the apology thing." She adds with a smile.
I smile back a little.
" It's hard when I don't have anyone to teach me though." Anya says softly and there's a wistful note in her voice.
" Well you seem to be doing good." I say
" Thank you. How're you doing really?" Anya asks.
" What, I can't be good?"
She shakes her head. " No. Life isn't good." I frown. The Anya I knew never spoke like that. She was happy and optimistic and wanted life to be good.
" Sometimes it is." I say and she shrugs, looking a little sad.
" So who's the blond?" Anya changes the subject. Not tactfully and it's been more than a while since someone's spoken to me with complete honesty and ignored tact. God help me but I've kind of missed it.
" Jessica" I tell her and she rolls her eyes.
" Did you just roll your eyes?" I peer at her.
" No! No I didn't. Why would I do that?" She denies.
" C'mon, An, you're dating a *lawyer*. What's a blond compared with that? Besides you used to be blond anyway." I protest.
She looks outraged and opens her mouth to argue but then the corners of her lips twitch and she's smiling.
" Who would have figured?" Anya asks. "You with some blond with a Wonderbra and a career in...publicity?" She decides. I should probably be offended but like I said I've missed this.
" Interior design." I clarify. " And you with some lawyer who drives a Mercedes and buys you lots of presents?"
" A Jaguar. He doesn't buy me that many presents either although he should." She clarifies.
" Who would have figured?" I repeat what she said because it's crazy how things worked out.
Anya laughs suddenly and I laugh too. This *is* crazy. Sure I have things I want to say to her. She probably has things to say to me too. Right now this is crazy and I want to laugh until my lungs hurt. Haven't laughed like that in years. But now, now I do.
" Xander?"
I turn round to face Jessica and feel a strange kind of guilt. It's not as though I've done anything wrong but I feel a kind of guilt.
" What are you doing out here?" She asks. " And why are you laughing like that?"
" Jessica this is Anya. Anya, Jessica" I try to do the introduction thing like Anya is just an old friend. I catch Anya rolling her eyes again before she smiles at Jessica and shakes hands with her.
" Hi" Anya says with a smile.
" It's nice to meet you." Jessica says. " How do you know Xander?"
" Me? Just old friends." Anya lies. "What about you?"
" Oh we're dating."
" Aww, that's cute" She says with a smile. I glance at her, wondering what she's doing. " I love your hair" Anya continues.
Jessica smiles back and touches her hair to check it's still in its style. " Thank you. So how long have you guys known each other?"
" Oh I knew Xander when he was all young and virginal." Anya says. " He lost his virginity to a girl called Faith, did you know that?"
" Uh no." Jessica says frowning slightly and I can see Anya suppressing a smile. I can see what the hell she's doing now and if she doesn't stop -
" Ooh!" Anya exclaims. " Maybe we could all go out for dinner sometime. I have a boyfriend who's a lawyer and you can tell me all about yourself."
" I guess that'd be nice." Jessica says with a smile, deciding to ignore the Faith comment. " It would be interesting to hear about what Xander was like back then."
" Great. How about tonight?" Anya asks.
" Sure. Is that alright with you, Xander? There wasn't anything else you wanted to do in San Francisco was there?" Jessica asks me.
Apart from having dinner with my ex? Who's acting *nice* to my current girlfriend and I'm completely confused as to why? How about anything else?
" That sounds good." I say and force a smile.
" Okay well Anya we'll meet you at the Bridge Restaurant at 8, I hear it's nice there." Jessica says and then she takes my arm in that couply way and we leave.
Dear God. What has she done? I'm not quite sure but this dinner, this can't be good.
* * *
tbc? Feedback, pipergal33@yahoo.co.uk
