(Authors note: This came while I was searching for ideas for Fledgeling's Discovery. Another Of my sad stories! this is a one chapter sonfic, an inspiration late last night. Please READ and REVIEW PLEASE!!! This is a look into Kain's mind, regrets, and a look into the sorrow of goodbye to a dear friend. *The song is What If? By Kate Winslet.* Again read and review please^_^)

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The edge of the abyss stared back at him, its contant whirlpool dragging his heart with it. He felt guilty. He, the great Kain, lord of all of Nosgoth was guilty. Could he not have done some little thing, anything to save him? For all the time travel he had done, he couldn't change it. The Sarafan, the Hylden, had twisted and destroyed the person he trusted, cared for. The person he could share secrets with and never have to worry about them being told. Someone he could be sure would be right beside him anytime, anywhere. No matter the circumstances, there he was, ready to fight and determined to protect. Going above and beyond his call of duty every time to ensure tht Kain remained alive and in charge. He was the ultimate warrior and the absolute best. Kain admired that one's strength and heart. He was actually a friend. A true, understanding friend.

Most of the vampires he commanded were just there because it was required. Sebastian and Marcus would have killed him in a heartbeat had he let his guard down. Faustus never cared either way as long as he survived. But this one, he was there to listen, to serve as a soldier, and even beyond that he was there as a friend. He liked Kain, he supported Kain. He was even more than a friend. it semed...he was the best friend Kain had ever had. Like the brother he'd never really had.



~Here I stand alone, with this weight upon my heart.

And it will not go away...

In my head I keep on looking back, right back to the start,

Wondering what it was that made you change...~



His mind wandered, and to his sorrow took him back to his defeat at the hands of the Sarafan Lord. The battle, he rememebered it well, it burned in his heart as well. He lost bitterly because of the Nexus stone. In his last moments of consiousness he had wondered, would his warrior still go on? would he survive this? Even if Kain died, would he still keep going? Kain found out about two hundred years later...

He awoke to a world where his former allies were enemies, only really haing Vorador and his daughter Umah as his new aqquaintances. He hated Vorador, and he did not hold Umah in high regard either. He murdered the traitor Faustus with no qualms as Faustus had never really done much for him anyway.. He was glad to be rid of Marcus. That vampire was too sneaky and too power hungry for his own good. Sebastian, he respected, though they did not get along. Sebastian was a good warior and a sad loss. If he'd not defeced to the other side, he would have been a mighty ally. He murded him too, as a payback for the staged attack that almost cost his unlife. Umah in the end betrtayed him as well and she too fell to Kain's hand.

But the most wretched, horrible event in that time was not betrayal, but revelation...

The Eternal Prison. Its tortured inhabitants, human and vampire alike, were beyond saving. Kain felt sorry for the wretches inside. Babbling nonsense and scared to death he was almost happy to put htem at rest. Of course the Hylden and Sarafan did not approve and it was here he was pursued relentlessly by a vampire, mad with pain and rage, self- mutillated and with a bloodthirst unlike anything he'd ever seen before. His eyes darted madly and he was powerful beyong beleif even through mad raving. Kain in a way was horrified, but he couldnt run forever. He was running out of places to run, and this creature would not let him hide. It sought him out wherever he went, and even when he pushed the creature int owater, it got back up. It was immune to fire, immune to water, and dead set on killing him. Finally, Kain stood his ground and fought it as best he could. He spent most of the time avoiding immolation and dodging this insanely powerful being. He remembered shuddering everytime he locked gazes with those mad yellow eyes. there was no mind behind them, just animalistic and barbaric insanity.

The battle raged on for what felt like hours, and Kain was almost out of energy. This vampire had him worn down ad running on adrenaline. He needed a way to slow the madman down. He finally got his chance, and narrowly missing being incinerated by the creatures magics he won. Kain had pushed over the Statue of the TimeStreamer onto the vampire. It was so heavy it crushed the vampire under it. Had it been a lighter situation Kain would have laughed. That bastard Mobius deserved it...

Kain,after a moment of hesitation, had the courage to approach the crushed vampire. He recieved the shock of his entire undead life. He was unprepared for what he saw and heard. The vampire was no longer mad, the sanity knocked back into him with the crushing of the statue. He looked up to lock eyes with Kain, and Kain almost cried out in horror at the sobering revelation. Those amber eyes were soft again, his quiet voice flooded back over Kain's ears like times of old. He remembered Kain and he smiled, content that Kain lived again. It was Magnus.

"The fog lifts...Sire, Wait!"

Kain almost shook his head in disbelief, this wasn't possible, "What trickery is this?"

Magnus shook his head, his eyes pleaded with his master. "No trickery Sire, I am your loyal servant again...Your Champion."

Kain didnt want to believe it. "Magnus...could it be?" He was angry, "You left my camp in the night to join with my enemy, like all the others..." He felt so Betrayed. Had no one stayed loyal?

Magnus. Sweeter than a vampire should be and loyal to a fault, was proud of his vampiric gift and proud to be kain's servant. He had been the only one who served Kain still, as Kain found out. His loyalty to kain was the very reason he now suffered this torture. He refused the Sarafan, and took them on himself in Kain's name. Magnus struggled to speak.

"Sire, no. I wanted only to serve you. I thought, in my pride, I would strike a blow that would end the war. I went to kill the Sarafan Lord, alone. I was your champion." by now his breath was laboured. He could recover, but never fully. He would be forever mutillated and scarred,and it was that fact that hurt Kain so severely. Magnus continued though still struggling, "I failed you. I tried to kill him. Even now, I cannot remember how he defeated me. I was struck down, helpless at his feet, and then through his foul magic, he took my mind and transported me here to this... hellhole..." He was fighting to speak again, tired and weary and still in great pain. He continued.

"But what of you, sire? I heard that you were dead..." his eyes blinked slowly as his eyes reflected the love and friendship that had survived. It shattered his heart to see. Magnus fought for him. Magnus suffered for him...

Magnus had not failed him. In fact Magnus was the only one who didn't. Along with his sorrow he felt a great pride well inside him. His close friend, his best friend, had remained his best friend. Through torture and betrayal he stayed true to heart. And now he granted his loyalty and admiration to Kain again. He could never replace, and never would he forget the bravery his lone champion showed for him.

Poor Magnus, To make Me proud...This was his victory. To Suffer forever in the very bowels of a place worse than hell. I am the reason Magnus is now suffering. He needs to be released, and since I casued this pain, I shall be the one to soothe it...



~Well I tried, but I had to draw the line,

but this question keeps on spinning in my mind...~



He cradled the his loyal friend's head in gentle hands, as he spoke, "Not so dead as some would like to have me. As you see, I have returned. Magnus, my champion... You have suffered long enough. It is with pride that I grant you your death..."

"Thank you sire..." Magnus smiled sincere. And that would be the expression he would forever wear. With a welling of tears and a quick movement it was over. Magnus was dead. Finally at peace. Kain bowed his head a moment before absorbing Magnus' gift. Deep inside, he felt Magnus' presence in his heart. Magnus wouldalways be with him. Still he was sorrowful. Gone was someone he loved dearly, the only one who truly understood. He stood and gave his loyal servant a final Farewell.

"Go, my friend. Be free. As the rest of us, living or dead, can never be..."

The tears only fell when he had arrived safely outside. He was stronger, but even less a person now. He hated the Sarafan Lord even more now, he hated humans even more, he hated the Sarafan...he hated the world. Magnus' tortured face was fresh in his mind. it brought more tears and an unbearable sorrow. But he had to continue. He had to. For his future, and if for nothing else...For Magnus. and it was then he decided to fight again. He would finish what Magnus had started.



~Many roads to take, some to joy some to heartache. Anyone can lose their way..

and if I said that we could turn it back, right back to the start...would you take the

chance...

and make the change...

Do you think how it would have been sometimes? Do you pray that I'd never left your side?~



The memory hurt now, more than ever. The guilt of his actions gnawed his soul. Even thousands of years later. Evolved now, and a god as well, he wondered would Magnus' have still been loyal? would he have evolved magnificently? Would he still be his Champion?



What if I had never let you go?

Would you be the man I used to know?

What If I had never walked away...

Because I love you more than words can say...

If I'd stayed, if you tried...~



The pain would never truly fade. and the scares on his heart would never heal. He found other people who loyally served him, but nonw could replace Magnus. He was the reason Kain was so strong. Kain still felt Magnus' presence even after millenia of separation. He was in Kain's heart. In his soul...

"I am your Champion..."

The voice on the wind...almost if he were trying to ease Kain's mind. He was trying to ease the pain, and make his presence known. He still served his master...Kain felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. His Champion still guarded him. He stood up slowly and turned his face into the wind. He felt uplifted. Magnus lived on, and would forever. Kain released his guilt as he left that cliff, his heart uplifted on Magnus' wind. He would never be of flesh and bone again, but he still lived.

~If we could only turn back time...~



"You live in my sprirt evermore My Lone Champion..."

Kain made his way back to Sanctuary, his mind leaving one last thought behind.



~But I guess...



we'll never know...~