8/3/02

All characters except Road Rage are the property of Marvel Comics.

Origin of Road Rage pt. 3



Its 3:30 pm and Stan is well rested and ready to dish out some more of his twisted justice. He emerges from the hole that he's been sleeping in and wanders into the alley. He wonders if anyone from the police station even notices that he's been missing for 3 days. From the shadows he watches people walking home from work. He wonders if he'll ever be able to go back home again. He hears screaming coming from down the block. He scrambles up the building so he can watch from above. It looks like an accident, a pedestrian was struck by vehicle but it doesn't look too bad it could have been anyone's fault so he won't punish anyone this time. He goes across the rooftops searching for lawbreakers, hopefully he'll find some soon, he's getting bored. Spidey finally gets out of the sewer after hours of searching, getting lost and searching some more. He's tired but he hasn't seen any sign of the creature. He wants to go home, take a shower and take a nap but he knows that as soon as he tries to take a nap something going to go wrong and someone will need his help. Why even bother trying to go home then. "This searching is getting me nowhere fast, I wish I had Wolverine's nose then I would have been able to follow his trail. Forget that, the stench in the sewer probably would have knocked me out." He scales the nearest building to rest and soak up some sun when he hears the scream. Instinctively he leaps off of the building and swings towards the noise. When he gets around the corner he finally sees what he's been searching for all day. Stan has found a woman who was illegally parked and he is tearing her car apart with her inside. "I guess this is my monster, he's even uglier than I expected. I've got to stop him before he hurts that woman!" Spidey swings into action as only he can. He lands on a building and shoots webbing in Stan's eyes. The surprised monster stops ripping up the vehicle and starts tearing the sticky substance from his face. "Who dares to interfere with the law!?" He is even angrier than before. "Oh its just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Just what law was I interfering with?" He jumps down to confront the beast. Stan frees himself and looks at Spidey with bloodlust in his eyes. "She was breaking the law so she must pay." He moves toward our hero who jumps back just in case. "Ok, then tall grey and grusome what law was she breaking that justifies you tearing up her car? Don't tell me she was going one mile over the speed limit."

"Worse wall-crawler she was parked in a no parking zone." Spidey laughs at him, this infuriates him. He rips up a fire hydrant and throws it in Spidey's direction.

"How dare you mock me! I am an officer of the law! You will respect me as will all of these people." The hydrant is easily avoided but Spidey knows that he's got to stop the monster quickly before anyone gets hurt. "Who taught you how to throw, your baby sister?" He shoots a web net over Stan who struggles then uses his claws to rip his way free. He rips up a chunk of pavement and hurls it Spidey's way. "I ducked that easily enough but its heading right for those bystanders" He hits it with a webline but the force is more then he anticipated and it nearly yanks his shoulder out of socket. But he stops it from hitting anyone, the people cheer not realizing that this battle is far from over. Spidey swings the pavement and throws it back at Stan who punches it to dust. "Come here and face me like a man or are you scared?" Stan has not had a chance to really test himself yet but he thinks that this is as good a time as any. "Scared of a big bully like you? Thats a joke." Spidey swings at Stan catching him in the chest with both feet and bouncing off like a superball. "Geez, what are you made of?" Stan lunges at him but Spidey's still much to quick and he easily dodges him. He regroups and attacks again with the webbing. The webbing wraps around Stan's left arm. Spidey pulls but as strong as he is he's no match for the creature who yanks Spidey right to his waiting hands.

" Not making any jokes now are you?" He grabs his throat. "Jokes you want jokes? Here's one, a blonde, a brunette and a red head are on an island...."

"You still mock me?"

"I think someone needs a nap," Spidey replies. The creature wraps him in the web from his arm. "Wrapped in your own web you won't be able to grab onto any buildings. Good bye Spider-Man" He lifts Spidey over his head and prepares to throw him. "Don't you want to hear my joke?"

"SHUT UP!!!" He throws our hero toward downtown Manhatten.

"You've done it this time Spidey how are you going to save yourself this time?" "Now where did that woman go she must be punished for her crime." Stan goes off looking for the woman.

Jennifer Walters has had a rough day in court representing a man that she herself doesn't believe to be innocent but she didn't know that when he hired her. This job is far more stressful then the job that she used to have as an Avenger. She wonders if she should go back to it. Right now all she wants to do is run herself a nice warm bath in her downtown Manhatten apartment and curl up with a good book. She starts the water running and goes in her room to take off her lawyer garb. She undresses and looks at herself in the mirror. "Looking good Jennie. You still got it. Hmm, I wonder if I can get a tan I'm not as green as before." Yes, she said green for Jennifer Walters is the Hulk's cousin. Six feet seven inches of green skin beauty and with the strength to back it up. She cups her large breasts in her hands. "Still sitting up nice and high." She turns around and looks at her butt. "Baby got back!" She laughs just as Spider-Man crashes through her window landing on the floor behind her. Grabbing the blanket off of her bed she covers herself."

"You Peeping Tom's are getting aggressive these days aren't you?....Spidey?" He raises his head.

"Hi there, you order a pizza?" She picks him up and helps him get unwrapped. "Thanks for the assist She-Hulk, I'm glad that I ended up here." "Why is that, because you always wanted to see 6'7" of beautiful naked green skin?" She laughs. "Well actually I think I bit off more then I can chew." "Hold that thought, let me turn off the water." She goes into the bathroom and turns off the water. She waves to her tub pouting. "Bye bye, maybe some other time." She goes back to Spidey to listen to his tale of the metal monster. She drops the blanket to get dressed as he's telling her what happened and he stops abruptly. "WHOA! warn a guy when you're gonna do that." "Why? You've already seen everything there is to see." "Well maybe I wanted to take some pictures?" They laugh. "You know if I didn't know that you were joking I'd knock your head off." She pauses for a moment.

"You are joking right?" her smile oddly absent now. "Of course I am. Let me finish my story." He finishes his tale. "So you want me to help you with this thing right?" "I was hoping that you would."

"Well lets go before he disappears again." "Ok, I should be able to carry you with me while I swing back to where he was."

"I'm not going to get sick am I?" She seems a little hesitant. "I certainly hope not." They go out on her balcony and she grabs on to him and they're off to stop Stan before he can cause any more harm. "Geez, how much do you weigh? Spidey asked. "Watch it buster or you'll be getting your ass kicked by yourself." She quips. They swing back to the battle scene but there is no sign of the creature. The police and the paramedics are there making sure that everyone is ok. Our heroes walk through the rubble trying to see which way he may have gone. She-Hulk sees a wrecked car down the street. "Hey Spidey, I think he went this way. Either that or someone needs some serious driving lessons." They move towards the car when they hear another crash. They rush around the corner just in time to see the car flying in their direction. Spidey knows that he can't stop it but he knows that she can. " There's someone in there can you catch it?" Before she can answer she has already jumped into action, grabbing the car in mid air while acting as a shock absorber so the man inside isn't injured by the sudden stop. Spidey goes back on the attack. "Like I was saying, a blonde , a brunette, and a redhead are on an island." "You again? I thought I got rid of you?" the beast roars. "You know if I had a nickel for every clown that said that to me....." He's moving way too fast for the creature to grab so he tries to punch him but misses and strikes a light post snapping it off. He picks up the post, and tries to spear him with it but it misses and flies through a store window. "Hey who bwoke dat gwass, somebody's gonna have ta pay for dat gwass!" Spidey says doing his best Elmer Fudd impersonation. This only makes the beast even madder so mad that he doesn't notice She-Hulk running up to lend a hand. She lands a beautiful right cross that sends him flying into a dumpster. "And the lady scores 2 points," Spidey laughs. She-Hulk looks at him like she could slap him. He stops laughing for the moment wondering if he's made her mad. "Can't you tell a 3 point shot when you see one? I'm clearly behind the line." She starts to laugh. "Hey don't scare me like that, I thought that you lost your sense of humor." He's relieved that she was kidding. "Hey, if I didn't squash you for busting in on me while I was naked then I think my sense of humor is still intact. Now let's go get our boy." Stan tears his way free of the dumpster to face this new enemy. She seems to be as strong as himself maybe stronger because he actually felt that punch and it almost hurt. He lunges at them with a crazed look in his eyes. Spidey dodges but She-Hulk meets him head on. They lock hands and try to throw each other.

"So why all the road rage?" She seems to be getting the upper hand on him for the moment but he spits a corrosive liquid at her. She lets go, falling back and wiping her face with her shirt. He looks as surprised as she does because he's never done that before. Meanwhile Spidey jumps and lands on him. Seated on the creatures shoulders. He starts to pound on the top of his head repeatedly.

"You didn't answer her question, why all the road rage?" The creature grabs him and tosses him off like a rag doll. Luckily he didn't throw him like before so Spidey easily lands on a building. By this time She-Hulk is back up and ready to fight again. She doesn't even notice that the front of her shirt has been dissolved away by the liquid. "Hey She-Hulk, you're making this an R rated fight," Spidey yells to her pointing down. She looks down and is thoroughly pissed now.

"You son of a bitch I loved that shirt! You're gonna get it now but first...." She turns towards the wall crawler and as if he could read her mind he covers her ample chest with a coating of web. "Thanks Spidey now for Mr. Road Rage over here." She lunges at him and they start trading blows. Back and forth neither one showing any real signs of fatigue. Spidey is trying to figure out how to stop him when he gets an idea. "The creature seems to have a lot of metal in his system so mabye electricty will stop him." He looks around for a source of electricity that might be strong enough to stop him. "There doesn't seem to be anything around with a lot of electricity. I guess these power lines will have to do." He pulls the power cables loose making sure that he dosen't electrocute himself in the process. Waving to She-Hulk he signals her to move him towards the lines. She complies and starts moving him towards the power lines when the creature lands a shot that knocks her out. He turns towards Spidey, not knowing what Spidey has in mind he stomps towards him. "Your turn wall crawler. I took out your pretty friend and now its your turn." Spidey sees She-Hulk waking up so he has to stall the creature for a few more seconds. "Anyway a blonde, a brunette and a red head were on an island."

"Why do you keep mocking me, I will kill you." "I'm just trying to tell you a joke so sue me, here's my lawyer." As if on cue She-Hulk hits the creature in the back with a devastating shoulder block sending him face first into the concrete wall stunning him. "Stand back, " Spidey drops the power lines on the prone body of the creature sending thousands of volts of electricity through him. The creature convulses and smokes and finally lays still. "He's still breathing but he'll be out of commission for a bit. Let me call the Avengers and see if they can take it from here." She pulls out her Avengers communication card and calls the Avengers mansion. The familiar face of Captain America appears on the screen. "Jennifer its good to see you again, how may I help you?" "Me and Spidey captured a villain and he's way to much for the police to handle do you think you guys could come and get him?" "We're on our way make sure the homing beacon on your card is turned on so we can find you quickly." "Will do Captain." The screen goes blank. "Now we just wait. So what was that joke that you wanted to tell so badly?" She smiles at Spidey. "Well since you asked. A blonde a brunette and a redhead are on an island. They're walking along the beach and they find a magic lamp. They rub it and out comes a genie. The genie says 'Since I can only grant 3 wishes I'll give you each one' The brunette says 'I've been here for so long and I miss my family so much, I wish I were home again.' The genie sends her home. The redhead says 'I miss my family too, I wish I were home.' The genie sends her home. The blonde starts crying hysterically. The genie asks her what's wrong and she says ' I'm lonely I wish my friends were here!' " They both laugh. "I would beat her little ass." She-Hulk says through the laughter. Spidey stops laughing for a minute. "Could you do me a big favor? I need to get some pictures of this thing. I promised a friend that I would." He pulls out his camera. As he pulls out his camera the Avengers quinjet comes in for a landing. Out steps Captain America and the mighty Thor. Thor is carrying a big adamantium body case. "Tis strong enough to hold the likes of yon beast." Captain America approaches our heroes and holds out his hand. "Spider-Man its good to see you again. You too Jennifer, nice shirt by the way." "This old thing?" She quips. "So what is this thing?" Cap inquires. "Well we don't know but we called him Road Rage because he seemed to like destroying cars that did the smallest little infraction. He's strong too and he also spits some sort of corrosive substance. Thats what happened to my shirt." Thor places Road Rage in the body case and prepares to take him away when Spidey interupts. "Do you think I could get a picture of you guys with the creature? I promised a friend that I would." "I don't see why not." Captain America is always so gracious to the public. Thor stands Road Rage up and the three of them stand around him. Spidey gets his pictures for the Bugle as things start to return to normal with people coming out of hiding to see how things are going. "Hey Cap, do you think I could get a ride downtown? I don't think that I want to do anymore webslinging today. No offense Spidey." She flashes him a big smile. "None taken pretty lady. I have to go anyway. It was nice working with you again." "Yeah, it was fun but next time can you use the front door when you come for a visit?"

"You got it." Spidey swings off towards the Daily Bugle to drop of his film as the Avengers load Road Rage into the quinjet. "Another day, another villain defeated. OH MY GOD!!! I forgot to tell her something about my webbing and how it dissolves after a while." As the quinjet heads downtown Captain America's voice rings out. "For God's sake woman cover yourself!"