Life After High School. Is It Scary? You Bet.

By Risty Maskell and Silver15

Disclaimer: You really want to know? Well I can't tell you.

Summary: Damn it. I am not saying one derogatory word.

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(Emma's POV)

Over the next two or three days, I started to eat again and I slowly grew stronger. Benny and Damon spent a lot of their time with me and even though I didn't really feel up to talking, they just sat there so I wouldn't have to be alone. Billee, Legolas and Elrond came to see me often and I knew that Billee was keeping Jaime informed of my progress. He had also told me what she had said. I was glad she wasn't angry with me any more. Sometimes it was annoying, always being surrounded by people when you just want to be left alone, but mostly I was glad that I had people who cared so much about me.

Three days after my blood transfusion, Benny was sitting with me. He seemed nervous, not quite like himself.

"Emma" he said suddenly. "I spoke to Jaime the other night"

"Oh yeah? What did she say?"

"She asked me if you still hated her?" Benny said with a shrug. "Do you?"

"The stuff I said to her" I said quietly. "I didn't mean it, not really. I thought she was the one mad at me until Billee gave me her message"

"Well she isn't mad at you" Benny said with a shrug. "In fact, when she heard you were in hospital she was really worried"

"That girl spends most of her life worrying about me," I said with a small smile. "Still next time you speak to her, you can tell her that she's still my best friend. I'm not angry any more"

"I'm glad to hear it" Benny laughed. "Honestly, you two. Billee reckons you will be the death of him"

"Probably" I agreed. "How he puts up with us, I'll never know"

Suddenly the door opened and Damon came in, followed by my doctor. Benny shifted over and Damon sat down on my bed and took my hand.

"Emma" he said softly. "Your doctor…he has some news for you?"

I could tell by the tone of his voice that something was wrong. "What?" I asked quietly. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes Emma, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you" my doctor said slowly. He started off on some heavy medical talk, which I couldn't even understand, let alone follow. When he finished talking, he looked at me expectantly. I must have looked puzzled because Damon squeezed my hand tightly and took a deep breath.

"What he was saying," he said softly. "Was that there's something wrong with you inside. That's why you lost your baby. And…Emma the medical experts say that if you ever try to carry a child full term, you risk not only killing the baby but also yourself. They say you should accept the fact that you will never have a baby of your own"

Silence fell over the room, as I looked Damon to the doctor and back again. And suddenly I needed to cry. I had always said that I never wanted children, but now that I had been told this, I had changed my mind. But I wasn't going to cry in front of them.

"Could you…could you please all go away?" I managed to say, my voice trembling. My doctor nodded and left immediately. Damon hesitated, but Benny grabbed his arm.

"Let her have some time alone" I heard him whisper. "She needs time to think. Emma, we'll be in the café if you need us"

I barely noticed as they left the room, shutting the door carefully behind them. I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I cried for the child I had lost and the children I would never have. And at that moment I realised something. For weeks now, I had been on edge. I had feelings for both Boromir and Damon and I honestly hadn't known whom I wanted. But in that moment I knew. I knew for sure whom I truly loved…

I'm not sure how long I lay there crying. But suddenly Damon was there, putting his arms around me and pulling me against him. Gently he rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth like a baby.

"I thought I was doing the best for him" I whispered between sobs. "I thought he would be better off without me"

"Who?" Damon sounded puzzled. "Boromir?"

"Yeah. I thought that if I let him go he'd find someone else, someone who wasn't so…so messed up. But…but I miss him Damon"

"I know, I know," he whispered. "And he misses you too. Maybe you should talk to him?"

"I can't" I shook my head. "Not now. I'm no good for him Damon. I can't even give him a child. He won't want me now"

I looked up as Benny came into the room holding a glass of water and two white tablets.

"The doctor says to take these, Em," he said gently. "They'll make you go to sleep. When you wake up, you'll feel better"

My hands were shaking so Damon held the glass and helped me drink the contents. Then he tucked me into bed and made sure I was comfortable.

"Damon" I whispered, barely able to keep my eyes open. "I want you to do two things for me"

"Anything"

"Firstly, can you tell Billee, Legolas and Elrond what the doctor said? I just can't face doing it. And will you call Jaime up and tell her as well. Her and Boromir. They should know. Please?"

"Of course I will" Damon kissed me gently on the forehead. "Now go to sleep and don't worry about anything"

As I drifted off, I heard him speak to Benny. "I had better go home" he said. "Billee, Legolas and Elrond should know first. I'll call Jaime from there. Benny, you stay here just in case she needs someone" That was all I heard before I fell into a deep sleep.