If you are still with me till this chapter, I congratulate you. Either you really, really enjoy my story or you were bribed and constantly badgered (by me) to come here.
Behold, the fifth installment of a hopelessly uncopyrighted fiction aptly named Summer Days; Two Month Break from Life.
Kat opened her eyes. She was in the same room, with the same people, tied to the same exact chair, and yet everything was different. She no longer felt like she was going to drop dead of frostbite, but there was something more.
She blinked again. Had the room been this big before? And had the straps on her arms and legs fitted so loosely before the machine had been turned on?
She looked down at her feet, and shrieked. Jhonen Vasquez laughed cruelly. Kat had manifested into a penguin.
Now that she had shrunk to a fraction of her original size, Kat easily escaped the chair. She looked herself over. She no longer had fingers, or toes, just flippers and webbed feet. Looking behind her, Kat could see the tip of a little black tail.
Jhonen grinned at her panic-stricken face. ÒAnd how does it feel, little Kat, to be the embodiment of all evil?Ó
Kat looked up at him (and it was quite a long way to look) and grinned. She wobbled over on her short little legs and hugged Jhonen around his leg. He stared back at her, confused.
ÒWhatÕs wrong? Why are you smiling? DonÕt smile, itÕs scaring me!Ó This only made Kat grin wider, and when she spoke, it was as if she were almost singing.
ÒPenguins rock! TheyÕre cute, and cuddly, and fun! This has always been my dream, to be a cute, cuddly penguin! Thank you, thank you so very much!Ó She hugged him again.
Jhonen Vasquez pushed her away.
He twitched in fury. ÒYou LIKE being a penguin?! How could anyone possibly LIKE
being a penguin?!Ó
ÒQuite easily, I believe.Ó
He let out a cry of frustration, and pointed to the exit. ÒGo! Get out of my sight! Never darken my mood with your presence, ever, ever again! And,Ó Here he reached to the chair that was behind KatÕs chair and pulled out a smaller, shorter and most defiantly cuter penguin, ÒTake this scum with you!Ó And with that, he flung the littler penguin at Kat and stormed away.
Kat looked at the smaller penguin, which smiled a sheepish grin. ÒHi!Ó it squeaked. Kat recognized the voice as the one that had told her of the colander before they were turned into penguins.
ÒMy name is Irken Insane,Ó continued the penguin. ÒAnd I like penguins too! I can tell already weÕre going to be good friends!Ó She hugged Kat around her large penguin-y middle.
Hesitantly, Kat hugged Irken Insane back, and smiled. ÒLetÕs go see what havoc we can wreak!Ó
(Meanwhile)
The rescue party had walked for many miles across the frozen wasteland, and still had not found Kat. Irritated, Daz asked (none too politely) if Ally knew where she was going.
ÒWell, weÕre certainly going somewhere, and coincidently Kat is also at a somewhere, and if you would put two and two together, somewhere is the somewhere we are going, and somewhere is the exact location of Kat.Ó Was her overly detailed reply.
To this, Ally received a face full of snow and so then had to stop and apply ointment and the right amount of insults to accompany it.
Through some intense and rare coincidence, the group did arrive at a somewhere. This somewhere wasnÕt the somewhere that Kat was at, but as Ally cheerfully noticed, it was a somewhere in particular, which means they must be getting close.
This specific somewhere was a small tribal village, home to the snow people who ate rather nasty things. Grateful that a somewhere was discovered, the insane little collection of renegades ignored the Keep Out signs posted at the edge of the somewhere and entered the village.
Immediately, they were surrounded by angry tribal polar bears that were already upset at not having their fur groomed today and so were extremely vengeful. Thinking fast, Dib pulled out his lucky jar of hair gel, and flung it as far as he could into the nearest ocean, screaming, ÒFetch! Fetch!Ó
Alas, the water was too cold and too polluted with baseballs that the polar bears dared not throw themselves in. Angry at the lost of a perfectly good jar of gel, they snatched the shaken travelers up in their massive jaws and proceeded to bury them deep under the snow to eat later.
By the time the four were able to climb out, Dib was shivering, TinewÕs head was filled with snow, Daz was nearly apoplectic and ready to release her rage over the polar bears (whoÕd by now had left to find something more interesting to do) and Ally was burning like a candle. Unfortunately, this caused the snow around her to melt, getting her even more soaked.
When all four had safely climbed out, they were met by a little laughing girl. The stranger was giggling, and sitting upon a baby polar bear. Almost all of her was covered with thick fur coats, but her face was still visible, and her laughing voice was unfortunately audible.
When she had finally ceased laughing, they were all nearly dry, and glaring at her.
ÒPardon me,Ó she squeaked, ÒBut you are indeed very funny! Bears bury you
alive, yes! Very, very funny!Ó
ÒAnd who might you be?Ó spat Daz angrily. Her hand already was clutching her lazer gun.
The girl jumped off the polar bear and bowed low. ÒI am the one known as Invader Zaifae, at your service!Ó This seemed to make her laugh harder.
Dib moved as if he was going to hurt her, but Daz had already acted first. Whipping out her lazer, she blasted the polar bear into tiny little pieces. Smirking a satisfied grin, she put away her lazer for later use.
Invader Zaifae stared at her in shock. ÒYouÉkilled itÉmy poor, littleÉÓ Pulling back her long coated sleeves, she waved her arms around dramatically, and produced a blinding blue light, which enveloped Daz.
Dib shrieked and jumped back, Ally and Tinew stared, stricken. The light died away, and there was no Daz to be seen. Instead, a little black and purple-colored bunny remained. Invader Zaifae looked down at it, glowering.
ÒMay you haunt the underworld basements for all eternity.Ó She threatened, and disappeared in another blinding light.
What Daz said next would most likely change the ratings of this fiction dramatically, as well as teach several new words to younger readers. In light of this, we will skip over that part and continue our journey from there.
After getting out of the first shock of finding yourself turned into a basement bunny rabbit, Daz rather liked the advantages. Her long, powerful hind legs propelled her faster than Dib could keep up. Her coat made her nice and warm, and she was light enough not to sink through the snow and instead could walk on top of it.
After this brief and rather unexpected interlude, the group continued their journey in the same fashion, if not happily.
ÒWell, I guess weÕre back in nowhere now.Ó Tinew spoke sadly.
ÒDonÕt be so sure.Ó Ally smiled. ÒIf IÕm not mistaken, that castle up ahead is indeed a somewhere. I wonder who the someone is that lives in that place.Ó
ÒOne way to find out.Ó Dib answered grimly. They purged ahead to their oncoming fate.
