Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Sorry to all my friends at SS7 in advance!! McDonalds, Ubers and your brain may never recover from this. Whoop's! Simply a skit comedy... You don't like it? Tough luck. Just don't read it if you're gonna be that way!
Rated: PG-13 for 'sexual innuendo's' and 'potty mouths'





Skit #589752: Show Season Seven
By ~Delenn~




Ares appeared sitting on a chair next to Xena and Gabrielle, who are stuffing their faces at McDonalds, he is seemingly deep in thought, though that doesn't stop him from munching on a 'few' fries.

Xena, pausing stuffing her face long enough to ask: Still upset that someone (she looks pointedly at Gabrielle) forgot to call you about our 'end of the show McDeaths' party?

Gabrielle, with a mouthful of food: Wut? I forgut, dop it alreadie!

Ares, finally snapping out of it, and making a face: Ok, that is disgusting. And yes I'm still upset about that. But that's not what I've been thinking about.

Gabrielle, shrugging and closing her mouth with a mumbled: Sorry!

Xena, taking a much-needed sip of coke-a-cola: That stuff is salty, dude! So, Ar, what's on ya mind?

Ares, groaning as the song changes to 'Oop's I Did It Again': Don't you think that when you died it was kinda abrupt?

Xena, leaning back and dusting crumbs off of her leather: We've talked about this, Ares. I don't know when I'm gonna die.

Gabrielle: But you're back!

Xena, shrugging: I'm only on life 4. That's 5 more! Hey, I rhymed, cool!

Ares: But that's my point. You're still alive, and yet the camera's just left... without any of our 'issues' being worked out.

Gabrielle, leaning back and patting her full tummy: Xena, I think he wants a good-bye kiss.

Ares, grimacing: No way, Xe has McDeath breath!

Xena: Hey! I resent that!

Ares, rolling his eyes: What I mean is... Oh gods damn it!

Gabrielle, startled: What!?

Xena, chuckling lightly: He forgot his point.

Gabrielle, bored: Oh. Wasn't it gonna be about you two never doing it on air?

Ares and Xena, wide-eyed: Gabrielle!!

Ares, happily: Ohhhh, I remembered! I've been watching the edited stuff they put out about us, and I'm not happy. None of the important questions were answered! I want us to make another season.

Xena, giggling: Ooh, that sounded dirty!

Ares, looking at the Warrior Princess with worry: Ohhkay.... No more McDeath's for you, Xena.

Gabrielle, rolling her eyes: They joys of you two with cable TV.

Xena, envisioning herself flying: So, like, we could do all the stuff we couldn't before?

Ares, excited: Yes!

Gabrielle, easily stating the other's thoughts: Please. The public doesn't want to watch you two make out and fly! Now, if I were to get mysterious powers that we spent a year explaining, that would be good TV!

Ares: What if I talked to Apollo for you Gabrielle?

Gabrielle, slyly: I forget what he looks like.

Xena, reaching in Ares' pocket: Gods, Gabrielle, (she removes her hand, holding his wallet) do you know how many relatives pictures are in here?

Ares begins to protest: Hey!

Xena, reverting to simply insulting him, always a favorite past time of hers: What's a matter? A tad deflated? (She chuckles and unrolls a huge thing of photo's, pointing to one) Here's Apollo, Gabrielle.

Gabrielle: Oooh, yeah, ok. We just have to get the producers to go for it.

Xena, passing Ares' wallet back to the moping god: No problem.

Ares, shaking his head: Xena, you blow my mind.

Xena, confidently: You wish.

Ares, some of his lost self-esteem recovered: Actually, you beg.

Gabrielle, laughing so hard tears are coming out of her eyes: Ohh, that's a good one Ares.

Xena, irritably: Shut it, bard.

A Week Later:

Ares, astonished: You have got to be kidding me.

Xena: Nope. They liked the idea so much I got trampled coming out. (Points to the boot-marks adorning her outfit)

Gabrielle, almost jumping with excitement: Wow, a year all about all of us flying, Apollo and I making out, and you two making out. This rocks!

Ares: Well, Xe, I gotta hand it to you. I never thought they'd go for it!

Xena, shrugging: They think they'll make millions. Who knew?

Gabrielle, eagerly: Are they raising our pay-checks?

Ares, snorting: Of course not.

Xena, shaking a fist: Bastard! --Uh, bastard's', yeah, bastards!

Apollo, appearing: You called? So when are we doing this bitch?

Xena, chuckling: Don't get to excited, Apollo... It's a show, 'member.

Gabrielle, smiling: So that's who Ares got it from!

Ares, irritated: Excuse me? Whatever 'it' is, he got it from ME!

The End