Title: Marauders Always Make Things Complicated (2/2)
Author: Fabs G
Summary, rating and Disclaimer in part 1.
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Next morning, Sirius told James and Peter (and Remus, who was pulling a perfect act) he had bought a muggle bike and enchanted it to fly. He was keeping it hidden in one of the least used passages to Hogsmeade (one of the few Filch didn't know about)
Sirius kept talking about the bike and all he would do with it and even though James was interested in it, he had being paying little to no attention to Sirius' talk. He had been thinking all day one how to set the pranksters up so they'd confess what was going on, and in the end it was Lily the one who gave him the idea.
They had been planning to sneak out on the weekend and have a date, as she reminded him. She sneaked up from behind him and encircled his waist with her arms.
"Planning our little weekend?" she turned him around and kissed him.
"Yes! Of course!" he said more to the air than to Lily.
"Well, that's a lot of enthusiasm" she said with a slight prowl in her voice.
"No, no I mean you just gave me the most wonderful idea!" he kissed her again and proceeded to explain what he had seen the night before.
"The slimy rats!"
"No, remember I told you? Peter is the rat, I am the stag and Sirius is- Ouch!" James nursed his arm, which had just been punched by Lily. The 'slimy rat' line was almost as common as Sirius's 'serious' pun.
"But why haven't they told you? They've been bantering all week, even I noticed it… Oh wait… all week!"
"I know, I know, they probably wanted to have some fun. I'm probably the target of it"
"What was the idea I gave you?"
"It's our turn to have some fun… But I need your help… Do you think you can find, somewhere hidden in the depths of Hogwarts two girls who aren't interested in Sirius or Remus and that would be willing to keep their secret?"
"Hogwarts is big and I know people from both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff" Slytherin was of course out of the picture "Give me some days, I'm sure I will. Why?"
"Because they will be going on a date" he smiled his most unnerving 'Marauder Mind at Work' smile.
Lily smiled at him "You're wicked"
"I'm not wicked, I'm a marauder" he said proudly and he staked off to tell his plan to Peter.
By the end of the week (four days after Sirius's 'surprising' breakup with Martina Donovan) Lily had gotten two girls who swore they had no interest whatsoever in neither Sirius nor Remus (Lily, in fact, had the strong suspicion they were interested in each other, but that's besides the point.) James told them only what they needed to hear: They were trying to uncover a supposedly hidden relationship, so this was not a date with two of Hogwarts' most wanted bachelors.
They thing was how to let Sirius and Remus know without letting them consult and plan with each other. James spent the whole Big Day with Sirius and Lily did so with Remus, Peter acting as messenger between the four. Lily and James had arranged to meet in the Three Broomsticks, arriving separately.
"James, I'm still not convinced…" It felt just so wrong for poor Sirius… James was playing the guilty card and no one could refuse him anything, although Sirius was trying to.
"Sirius, please, let me make it up… I bothered you for weeks, thinking you had a thing for Remus. Then, I bothered you about Martina and spoke ill of the girl. Clearly, I was wrong. Let me make it up to you. It's just a date, I'm not asking you to marry her"
"I know, It's just-"
James played a card he was sure it would work. "You're beginning to sound like if you were involved with someone, with so many 'but's"
"No, no… I just don't know who this is… I hate blind dates."
"This is hardly a blind date. It'll be Lily, Luanne Robins and me, you know the Hufflepuff 5th year? She's friends with Lily."
James played the 'guilty friend' card so well Sirius couldn't just refuse it. Besides, he told himself, it's not like I'm going to shag her on the spot. It's just to make James feel better.
And he wasn't very far from the truth, actually.
Meanwhile, Lily was having a better time with Remus. Remus wasn't as stubborn as Sirius was, and with Peter's help, she managed to convince him that just a night out with a couple of his friends and an acquaintance from Ravenclaw (Gillian, from 6th year) wouldn't be so bad.
Nightfall came and Sirius and Remus hadn't had a time to talk to each other alone. Lily, James and Peter had managed to convince them with study help, two essays, a fake stomachache, a quick visit to Hogsmeade and lots of time in the library.
Luanne, Remus and Lily (dubbed 'Team A' by Peter) arrived at the Three broomsticks before Sirius, James and Gillian ('Team B'). They found a table at the back, a round one that was fairly illuminated but not in the center of attention of the Three Broomsticks' customers.
"I wonder where's James. He usually arrives on time" wondered Remus.
Luanne, acting on Lily's cue, looked at Remus "I passed him by on a hallway today, he told me he was bringing Gillian Aulon and her date"
"Oh, I didn't know she was coming" said Remus
"Look, there they are!" pointed Lily and settled down to watch Remus' reaction.
Lily would have taken a picture at the way Remus' face fell when he saw Gillian's arm on Sirius' (the girl obviously encouraged by James)
Remus himself couldn't believe this. He had barely hold his breath for 5 seconds (Sirius was wearing his leather pants, white t-shirt and black leather jacket) when he realized that Sirius wasn't alone.
"Oh, don't the look lovely together" teased him Lily.
Remus's head whipped in her direction, and just as he was about to growl at her, he remembered the wolf had already come that month and that was Lily, his best mate's girl and fellow friend.
Remus stared back at Sirius, James and Gillian, who were sorting out the other tables and walking in their direction. Surely Sirius would have told him if he was going out with someone on James' cue… Then again, Remus hadn't seen Sirius since the morning… of course that is if James had set him up with her… Remus shook his head. Not even five seconds of seeing Sirius with someone else and he was already being paranoid…
James walked to Lily, Sirius and Gillian behind him. Sirius frowned when he saw Remus and Luanne.
Although Sirius's feelings were much like Remus, Sirius had started suspecting James and Lily now, and kept casting glances in their direction all the time. Still, and just in case, he growled at Luanne every now and then.
"What are you doing here?" asked Remus, and then changed his voice "I mean, I didn't know you were… Gillian's date" he said the word 'date' as one would say 'bubotuber pus'.
"I'm as surprised as you are" answered Sirius, eyeing Luanne ferociously.
James and Lily chuckled to themselves and barely greeted each other, such a great time they were having at the expense of their friends. Luanne and Gillian were sitting together, their 'dates' besides them
Every once in a while Sirius would look at Luanne like he wanted to kill her on the spot, or frown at James, or Remus would look at Sirius like if he wanted to slap him back into sense (or into their relationship, for that matter)
Gillian and Luanne had apparently been instructed well by their mentors: Luanne kept her arm in Remus's crook of the arm all the time, sometimes leaning against his shoulder. As far as Gillian was concerned, she didn't know the meaning of the word 'shy'. Whenever someone would say something funny, she'd laugh loudly and grab either Sirius' arm or his hand, making Remus's blood boil. On one occasion, Sirius tried to ease the obviously charged atmosphere by saying a joke. Gillian liked the joke so much she kissed him on the cheek. Remus was sure steam was about to emerge from his ears as it did from a kettle with boiling water.
"Tell me, Sirius" said Gillian who, prank or not, was having a good time nonetheless "Weren't you involved with that Donovan girl?" James and Lily concentrated hard on their food, biting their lips not to smile.
"It's over" said Sirius simply.
"Really? Because the word has it in Ravenclaw that you two are an item"
"I heard it in Hufflepuff too" piped in Luanne, her arm on Remus's. "I know its' exaggerated but someone said you were even thinking of proposing"
Sirius snorted sincerely "We were together for about two seconds, yes. Now it's over"
"Oh, really? Then you're free" Gillian lifted her eyebrows eyed him smiling earnestly. Remus gripped his fork so tight it had started bending a little.
"Free as a Hippogriff" answered Sirius, smiling back at her.
Remus couldn't hold it in any more: "Free as a hippogriff yes, and several of them were imprisoned and executed. One of them in 1722" he set down the fork with a loud 'clink' and looked at Sirius like a wolf looks at its prey "Utterly disgusting what they did to him"
Sirius looked at Remus. He looked so apologetic everyone in the table melted "But several were let free" he smiled a hopeful smile.
"Yes, that depends on each case" answered Remus, crossing his arms and leaning back "And, given the fact that the hippogriff here is not guilty, I'd say someone else should be executed" Gillian and Luanne laughed as Sirius and Remus glared at James and Lily.
Sirius looked at his best friend. "We've been caught red handed, haven't we" he said
"Oh yes" agreed Lily
Remus looked at the girls beside him "And Gillian and Luanne are part of the master plan too."
The girls, who merely said they were just like extras in a big Hollywood movie, rose, knew their part was done and exited the Three Broomsticks. Remus and Sirius moved together, sitting right in front of his friends
"So" said James, eyeing his friends "Feel like telling us"
"We…" Sirius looked as innocently as he could "We just wanted to have some fun"
"It's nice to see you losing your patience" smiled Remus "So many times in just a week…"
"You wanted to have some fun… So that's why you didn't tell me you hmffmpmfpmf!!" The last part (although it sounded oddly like 'screwing each other!') was completely unintelligible as Lily covered James's mouth with her hand.
"How about walking back to Hogwarts? We really don't want everyone in here knowing Sirius and Remus's private activities, do we?" She smiled at her friends as they stood up.
"Thank you, Lily." Smiled Sirius "At least you use the brain you were given. What about you James?"
"Pardon me, my friend, but I use my brain too. Who do you think came up with this little date?"
"No, I mean, were you actually given a brain?" Seeing that he couldn't curse Sirius there, James walked past Lily as they exited the Three Broomsticks and punched him in the arm- hard.
Remus, a libra and therefore a justice-seeker, pushed James back to Lily while he entwined his hand with Sirius's.
James looked at his friends and couldn't help but feeling a little smug: he had been right, they belonged together. He changed his look into a feigned sternness. "So, how long has this been going on?"
Sirius didn't miss the smile in his best friend's face, but played along "Remember when Moony and I fought, about three weeks ago? Well, we were in the Shriek-" he stopped himself, remembering Lily knew nothing of Remus' licanthropy. He quickly searched for a replacement "Uuhh… we were- taking a walk"
Lily looked puzzled and, as she understood what Sirius had been about to say, she interrupted him before he went on, seizing the opportunity "Say it the way it is, Sirius, you were in the Shrieking Shack" Remus frowned at her. In what world would a common witch suggest such a thing? As far as Lily knew, the Shrieking Shack was a haunted old house.
James, knowing what Lily was doing, moved to Lily's right and left Remus and Lily side by side "Sorry, Remus" said Lily "I know you're a werewolf. I walked in on Peter and James talking about it, they are not to blame. I forced James to tell me all about it. I haven't had a chance to really tell you I'm ok with it"
Remus was speechless- he had never been so accepted in his whole life. His brain seemed to have gone on strike, because he couldn't quite remember how to speak.
Sirius smiled at Lily and whispered in Remus's ear "You're supposed to say thank you, love"
Remus finally remember how to speak "Thank you, love" he said weakly looking at Lily. When he realized what he had said (mainly because James had started scowling at him and Sirius was laughing himself silly) he snapped out of it "Lily. I mean, Lily. Thank you, Lily" he said while Lily laughed at him. "Thanks, Lily" he said earnestly.
"Anytime, I know what it means to you." she smiled and she waved her wand in the air "If you ever need any healing spells and don't want to go down to the hospital wing, I'm quite good at them"
"Thanks" he smiled back
"Well, go on, Sirius" said James "You two fought in the Shrieking Shack, three weeks ago, and?"
"Well, that's the thing" said Sirius "It wasn't exactly a fight"
Remus hugged Sirius's waist "Let's just say that the Shrieking Shack now holds some good memories apart from the horrendous once-a-month ones"
"I hate you!" scowled James "You made me believe you two had fought, you made me believe Sirius had a girlfriend, you made me believe I had been totally wrong in thinking you two had it for each other… What, is your cousin Jack fake too?"
"Oh no, Jack's for real and a real model too" clarified Remus "I can show you the small stack of pictures I have of him under the mattress of my bed. Compare to them, the one I showed you are childish"
Sirius raised his eyebrows, interested "Really?"
Remus frowned at him and, more to himself than to his friends, said, "I think I'll be changing their location"
Sirius laughed at Remus but before any of them could go on, James stopped them and faced them both. "You two had probably hell of a time with all this, but I didn't. Promise me you won't ever do this to me again"
Sirius and Remus smiled at James like if he had given them the greatest birthday present ever. "Promise" they said, with their most sincere voices, their most sincere smiles, and their fingers crossed behind their backs.
They group started walking again, but Lily pulled James from his robes and whispered to him "James, you do realize you just asked two marauders, two of your clones not to play pranks... You know what that means, right?"
"Why, yes of course... I'll have to brace myself for the next few days." Said James, perfectly calm.
"Why did you ask them to do that, then?" she frowned.
James's smiled from ear to ear "Retaliation"
Lily rolled her eyes and decided she definitely did not want to be involved in whatever activities the boys would be involved in the next few weeks…
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Author's footnote: I did not include Peter in the date because I simply had no place for him. That table was already too crowded and I did not want to punish some poor girl in going out with him.
Besides, it's not like any of you missed him, did you? ;)
