Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I stole them for the day and ripped off a 'Toys R Us' store... got a problem? You wanna sue me? Go for it. E-mail I_want_to_sue@yahoo.com and you can pretend you made a difference?

Rated: I don't know, if you can watch the show you can read this!





Skit #New: Weapons 'R' Us
By: ~Delenn~
Created on 11/28/2001 3:17 PM




Xena: Gabrielle, I need more weapons... I mean have you LOOKED at the shape of my sword lately? It's been split in half more times then I can count, and it can only miraculously come back together so many times!

Gabrielle, eyeing her frying pan: Don't you use enough creative weapons, Xena? Besides, I need more scrolls.

Xena, annoyed but resigned: Without weapons you wouldn't have anything to write about!

Gabrielle, indignantly: That's not TRUE!

A black envelope appears on Xena's lap, she jumps in surprise: What the h-- I mean 'what in tartarus!'

Gabrielle casually picked up the envelope and tosses it to Xena: Here, you open it!

Xena, suspicious: Why can't you?

Gabrielle, rolling her eyes: Duh, you're the strong one; it can't do THAT much damage to you!

Xena, opening the envelope: Thanks for the vote of confidence. (She reads silently for a moment, and then her eyes get really wide) Ooh, Gabrielle look, look at this!

Gabrielle takes the parchment and reads it out loud: This gift certificate to 'Weapons R Us' is presented to one 'Xena' for the amount of '1 million dinars' for her to spend on 'anything she likes'.
The sender of this certificate '________' would like to remain anonymous until the time of purchase.


Gabrielle looks at Xena, the warrior practically jumping in excitement: Ya wanna go now?

Xena, eagerly: Yes, yes, yes!!

SOME HOURS LATER AT THE ENTRANCE TO 'Weapons R us':


Gabrielle, with Xena, staring rather disgustedly at the millions of weapons: Ugh, Xena, why don't you want to go to a nice scroll store like NORMAL people??

Xena, who has already started to dash off in the direction of the nearest weapons shelf: Relax Gabrielle, this won't take long. C'mon, it'll be FUN! I mean with this much money; I could buy TONS of stuff!

TWO DAYS LATER, ENTERING THE CAMPSITE:


Xena, lugging a good ten bags of weapons, followed by Argo carrying a good stack more, and Gabrielle grumpily carrying two new sias and a sword: I still don't see why you need so many weapons Xena!

Xena, setting down the bags and happily digging through them: It was a gift certificate, what was I supposed to do? Besides, if never hurts to be prepared!

Gabrielle, annoyedly: Which brings me to who gave you that certificate! How could you buy ANYTHING with money from Ares??

Xena, shrugging: I'd already schlepted all that stuff to the checkout! Besides, I gave you 100 dinars out of the certificate, and you spent them on that sword and new sias!

Gabrielle, muttering , still annoyed: Fine, can we just get some sleep? I can't believe we spent two days looking at weapons! (Louder) We're visiting a scroll shop tomorrow!

Xena, sarcastically: Joy.

The End