Disclaimer: I don't own them. Wish I did. Especially Jess/Milo. :) The title is a Dashboard Confessional song. Check them out. They kick booty.

Rating: PG13, I had to change it to do what I *really* wanted to do.

Summary: I don't really know what to say. It's a funny fic I wrote for a challenge. I thought I should mention now.. it's AU, kinda. lol.

AN: Like I said, I wrote this for a challenge. I decided to have it be R/J at the end because... I said so. This chapter took me forever to write. Or at least it seemed that way. I'm not sure why, it just did. This chapter's mostly Jess, which of course means it's hysterical, 'cos I love Jess. I practically AM Jess. I write him pretty well I think, hit me with a review and tell me if you think I write Jess pretty well.

The Challenge: The story(chapter) MUST include the following:

*Miss Patty

*argument/debate of music

*blue

*the word "dipsomania"

*pens

*Doose's Market

*Tuesday

The Good Fight

Jess played with the pens on the counter next to the cash register. The diner was practically deserted. He looked out the window watching Taylor running around in the square setting up things. He smirked, Taylor was such fun to toy with. In fact Jess wouldn't do half the stuff he did if it wasn't so funny to watch Taylor turn purple and freak out. Jess was startled out of his thoughts when Luke came up beside him. They both regarded the chaos silently for a moment before Luke asked, "What's today?"

"Tuesday," Jess replied glancing at Luke.

"So we've got four more days of this?"

"Yep," Jess said with a nod.

Luke sighed and got some money out of the register, "Can you run to Doose's and get me a big jug of vegetable oil?"

"Sure Luke," Jess said taking the money and walking out the door. He cast a glance over his shoulder as he walked into the Market, he saw Taylor walking rapidly towards the market. "So predictable" he muttered as he made his way down the aisles. It only took him a moment to find the vegetable oil so he was back to the cash register just as Taylor was walking in.

"What do you think you are doing you hoodlum?" Taylor immediately bellowed.

Jess raised an eyebrow and held up the vegetable oil in one hand and the money in the other, "Buying vegetable oil for Luke, and if I was given enough money I might even buy a pack of the new Orbit gum to try." Jess walked to the register and set down the jug then counted his money, "Look at that, there's enough." He reached down and chose a pack of wintermint Orbit gum. Jess tossed the gum on the counter and watched the girl ring it up as Taylor eyed him.

All of a sudden Taylor said, "It was you wasn't it?"

Jess paid the girl and looked at Taylor, "What was me?"

"Oh don't play innocent with me young man! I know you did something to the light earlier!"

Jess took his change from the girl and grabbed his things, looking at Taylor like he was nuts, "I don't know what you're talking about." He brushed past Taylor and out the door.

As predicted Taylor turned and followed him out, "Don't walk away from me you delinquent! I know you did it and I know you know what I'm talking about!"

"You know Taylor, you should be checked for dipsomania, because you are making no sense," Jess through over his shoulder continuing to walk to Luke's.

Taylor, of course, kept following him, right in the front door of the diner, still going on about the traffic light and how Jess had to be involved. Suddenly Jess whirled around, before Luke could even say a word, "Did it ever occur to you it just malfunctioned? No. You immediately blamed me. Now get out Taylor. You're harassing me, and you're stalking me. Leave before I'm forced to call the cops or take matters into my own hands."

Taylor gasped and fumbled for words, "You're lying! Of course you are, you can't do that."

Jess growled, "Stop fooling yourself old man, you know I've got you. Now leave me alone before I charge you with slander as well."

"But you can't kick me out of the diner! It's a public place."

Luke chose then to step in, "No. It's my place, now get out before I help him call the cops. Come to think of it you're always harassing me too."

Taylor gaped at them before turning and storming out the door, heading off to look up "dipsomania"

Jess looked at Luke and handed him the vegetable oil and his change then pocketed the gum, "Can I got start getting ready now? It's six." Luke nodded as he took the vegetable oil into the store room. Jess bounded up the stairs and into the apartment, stripping off his clothes as he went. He tossed his clothes in his hamper, grabbed a towel and hit the shower.

About 5 minutes later he emerged wet, with messy hair. He loosely wrapped the towel around his waist and walked into his room. He regarded his closet as he dried himself off slowly. How the hell was he supposed to dress for this party. What kind of party would it be? He sighed, well it was Chilton, so probably sluttish prep would be running rampant. He smirked and reached in his closet to pull out a pair of black pants. They were a kind of Nylon and had blue flame inserts at the bottom. They also had giant pockets. He pulled them on and found a Clash t-shirt in his closet and pulled it over his head.

Jess walked back into the bathroom and arranged his hair, then went back to his room and grabbed a blue button down shirt and a couple of CD's. He stuck the CD's in one of his pockets and put the shirt on as he went down the stairs.

Luke looked up when he emerged from the stairs and nodded at him. Jess gave a little wave and walked out the door. He walked down the sidewalk and wisely chose to cross the street well after passing Mrs. Patty's. She had been in the doorway eyeing him as he walked. He involuntarily shuddered. That woman was frightening.

Soon enough he reached the Gilmore's house. He walked up the front steps and before he could knock the door was flung open. He backed up as Lorelai began coming out the door. She stopped and the looked at each other. She smiled and said, "Hey Jess."

"Hey," he said back.

"So you're going tonight?"

He nodded, "Yeah, there isn't anything better to do, especially with Taylor so mad at me."

"The light?" she asked.

He nodded again, "That and I went in there to buy something for Luke and he followed me around and all the way back to Luke's so I finally told him to quit harassing me and stalking before I called the cops."

Lorelai smiled and nodded, "Smart move. Well I'm going to Luke's for coffee, I'll see you later okay?"

He nodded and she walked past him saying over her shoulder, "Go on in, they're in Rory's room doing their hair."

He walked in and shut the door behind him walking to Rory's room. He found them there bickering over who was better, Pink, or Gwen Stefani. Lane thought Gwen was much better, while Rory thought Pink was just as good as Gwen. They both looked up when he walked in.

"Hey Jess," Rory said smiling.

He nodded at them, "Hey Rory. Hey Lane."

"Hey Jess," Lane said.

"You guys almost ready?" Jess asked.

"Yup," Rory said getting up, "Why don't we hit the road?"

The three walked out and got in the jeep. All the thirty minutes to Hartford they listened to the radio and voiced their opinions on the songs. Finally Rory pulled into the end of Madeline's driveway. The place was already packed with cars and the music made the air vibrate. They walked up to the door and knocked. Someone inside opened the door and they walked in. Jess smirked as he looked around, glad he'd chosen what he had for clothes.