Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons!
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan, Callie, Charlie, Amy, Ben and sometimes Zia - but most of the time I own her too! HA HA HA HA HA!! HA HA!! Ha.. ha.. ...ha...) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:
Tournament Of The OverPopulated: PART 5!!
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^
(aka A-Chan)
When we left our heroes, they were being attacked by a mystery-man.
(Special Charlie-Cam recap)
We see everything from Charlie's point of view. There is the glass of the booth window in front of him, and on the desktop you can see a big cup of ice.
Julia's voice from the side: This match is going to be cool, huh, Charlie?
Charlie: Oh, uh...
The view shifts to show Julia plastered to Charlie's arm, snuggling his sweatshirt sleeve.
Charlie: Can you see through my sweatshirt folds?
A hand reaches out into the cup of ice and puts it into Charlie's mouth, as he turns back to the match. Suddenly, a bashing sound erupts from the back of the room, and the view violently shifts to show the booth door slamming wide open.
Julia: AHHHHH!! Charlie!
Hwoarang: What the #$@%?!
A dark figure leaps out of the shadows, and the view shifts to show it jump on Jin, who turns around just in time to catch the main force of the ambush, as everyone continues to yell...
A-Chan: Jin!!
Charlie: Oh my God! Oh my God! Ice, ice, I need ice!
Lee: Oh no, please, mother!
...and as they yell, suddenly the power dies, and all the lights go out, leaving the booth shrouded in darkness.
In the Booth:
There are sounds of fighting from Jin and "Mystery Man" and everyone is still yelling and screaming and such. Suddenly, A-Chan gets an idea.
A-Chan: Oh, duh! Writer's priveledges!
Suddenly, all the lights flash back on in a brilliant spark, and Jin is shown holding a dark figure down onto the table with little effort. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
Hwoarang: All right, who is this asshole?!
Jin grabs the intruder by the back of the jacket and forces him up to show his face, revealing...
Charlie: Zoinks! It's Mr. Tigglewinks from the city bank!
Hwoarang: Wait a second, that can't be him! (Hwoarang tugs off the mask to reveal...)
Julia: Jinkies! It's Mildred O'Bargswath, the kindly old Irish woman who lived next door to the warehouse!
A-Chan: Mildred O'Bargswath? No way! (A-Chan pulls off the mask to reveal...)
Everyone: Holy Scooby Dooby, Batman! It's Ben!
Ben: (sheepishly) Uhh.. heh heh... hey!
Everyone groans, half in relief, and half in disdain.
Hwoarang: Your newest host nearly bagged Kazama!
Jin: (scoffs) Come on, he has to weigh a buck and a quarter, soaking wet, holding a brick! He couldn't have bagged me. (lightly sets Ben down and dusts off his shoulders, then smiles) ^_^ Sorry about all that. I think you scared me more than I scared you, though.
Anna Williams then struts in through the door, and everyone stares wide-eyed in horror.
Jin: ...A-san.... you didn't.
A-Chan: Um... nope, sorry! ^_^; I did!
Anna seductively fixes her hair, then sits down into a chair, crossing her legs.
Anna: Hey, there, boys! New co-host in the house! *wink*
Julia and Amy give A-Chan a dirty glare while the guys all sweatdrop and sit back down, averting their eyes. A-Chan looks from person to person then shrugs.
A-Chan: Ben wanted a ho! And I mean.. she has a bitch slap! And the zebra print outfit complete with hat! The winning and opening of the match taunts! The--
Jin: (claps one hand over A-Chan's mouth) You don't need to justify that she's a, er, 'lady of the evening', A-san... we know!
Ben moves to go sit in his seat, but A-Chan looks and holds out a hand in a 'stop' gesture.
A-Chan: Ben? Before you sit down...
Ben: Huh?
A-Chan: You know that you were off cue, right..?
Ben: (grinning) Yes. ^_^ (quickly wipes the smile off his face) But I mean, look at his hair! So freakishly... pointy...!
Jin: (makes a pouting face)
Ben: He's a Pyramid Head, for sure! Or at least in calhoots with them!
A-Chan: Well, I'm the writer, now... (grins even brighter) And I have full control over everything in this booth... in this arena.. in this fanfiction world!
Ben: (rolls eyes, and makes a move to sit down) Then why didn't you just stop me from being off cue?
A-Chan: (glowers)
Ben sits down in his seat, but it falls over backwards, spilling him onto the linoleum floor, which he rolls across to smack into the far wall. Christian* and Ripperette** then beat his dazed body with mallets, but not before a big Dhali Lama glues a Dark Schneider-esque 80's mullet wig on his head and smothers him in honey mustard.
A-Chan beams.
Ripperette: (waves) Bye, onee-chan! (flashes a peace sign, and leads Christian by the hand out of the room)
Christian: (singing) Chris-tian! Chriiis-tian!
A-Chan: Bye, sis! Bye, Chrissy! ^_^ Thank you!
The Dhali Lama doesn't leave; it sits cross-legged on the floor and meditates, making light "ohm" sounds and silently scaring the living hell out of everyone.
Hwoarang: (points and snickers at Ben) Ha! You got a mullet, dude!
Ben: Heey! It's not a REAL mullet! (grumbles and mutters as he straightens his chair and sits back down)
Hwoarang: That's okay.. a mullet isn't a REAL hairstyle!
Jin: It's more like a statement.
Hwoarang: Yes.. the kind you stick on a wooden post in front of your trailor...
Jin: ...and sit on the front step with your cowboy hat and leopard-print wearing honky wife...
Hwoarang: ...and listen to her complain about the fact her mother told her never to marry an in-law when--
Ben: OKAY, OKAY!! STOP!! (still muttering) WhyIoughtastupidredheadsonuvabitchthinksheknowseverything...
Hwoarang: Hey, tiger, calm down! (slaps Ben on the shoulder, earning him a dirty look) Tell you what. We'll give you a sweet nickname... how about..
Ben: ...not?
Hwoarang: (chuckles) Oooh, no, I don't think so. (snaps) Got it! Mulleto.. strongest Mullet... (sweeps his arms wide in a grandeur gesture) ...in the world!!
Jin: ...it has potential.
Ben: ... -_-
Callie: Match. NOW. (slams her fist on the table)
A-Chan: Bleh, fine! (muttering) Ya little... (back in normal tone) Jin-kun!
Jin: (turns to A-Chan) A-San?
A-Chan: I don't think we've announced a match with each other since Part 1.
Jin: (blinks) I do believe you're right, A-San. (smiles brightly) Shall we?
A-Chan: Lets!
Down in the Arena:
Everyone: What about the Royal Rumble?!
King (KOF): We were about to have a match, here!
King (Tekken): Rrowl! Yeah!
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: ... (sighs) I guess another day, Jin-kun.
Jin: All righty. Then on to the Royal Rumble!
Down in the Arena:
King (KOF): Now we show you the power of women!
Armor King: Heh heh heh! You don't look much like a woman to me!
King (KOF): Grr.. shut your mouth!
King runs at Armor King, and leaps into the air, launching into a high aerial kick. Armor King easily slides out of the way, securing himself behind King. He wraps his arms around her waist, and executes a perfect German suplex, nailing King into the mat. However, as he goes to get up, Q. Bee launches a swarm of bees from a large honeycomb. Armor King swipes a forearm at them, most splatting harmlessly into the armored covering, the rest scattering upon impact on his heavily armored shoulders.
King (Tekken): Har! Time for some interference!
King, ya know, the cat-head one, dives into the fray, tackling Q. Bee to the ground, proceeding to deliver repeated punches to the face. King, the female one, has now clambered to her feet, and begins to aim high kicks for Armor King's face, each one caught skillfully by the wrestler, and forced back upon her in quick succession. Q. Bee finally shoves King (the other one, dude!) off of her, and launches upward into a flying kick, her wings fluttering furiously. Her heel lands into King's (cat-head {I'm sick of labeling}) chin, and he stumbles back, regaining just in time to catch her other foot sailing in toward his right cheek. He grabs out for her other foot, and catches it, delivering her into a helicopter spin, tossing her unceremoniously to the ground.
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang is going nuts, shouting obscene comments to the would-be wrestling match, as everyone else stays mostly silent. A-Chan entertains herself by a magazine full of Edge photographs.
Hwoarang: Yeah! Yeah! Kick him in the head! Powerbomb, powerbomb!
Jin: (rubbing his temple with one hand) Go figure an idiot like Hwoarang would be into professional wrestling...
A-Chan: (blinks a few times, then quietly slides the WWF Raw magazine under the desk, innocently tapping her fingers on the booth desk)
Down in the Arena:
Armor King suddenly jabs out with a left hand, knocking King (the girl, ya know) to the ground, and goes for a pinfall. The referree begins to count it, but Q. Bee catches the scene out of the corner of her eye. She lands a hard knee into King's stomach, and then dives onto Armor King, breaking up the count at two.
Q. Bee: Victory!
Armor King: Grrr... dammit, bee!
Q. Bee gets shoved off of Armor King's back with a quick flick of his shoulder, and he lifts King (the woman!) by the hair.
King (KOF): Grr.. damn you, cat-man!
Armor King blinks and lets go as she shoots one fist into his stomach, followed by her crying out and clutching her hand, as it is never a smart idea to punch someone in armor. She stumble/dances away, cursing herself and holding her hand. Armor King places his hands on his hips and begins to laugh, when Q. Bee runs up and latches onto him from the back, clawing at his cat mask/face/thing/whatever.
Armor King: ARGH! My face.. I mean mask... my thing.. whatever!
Armor King lunges back, grabs Q. Bee by the antennae, and throws her over his head. She regains her balance mid-air, and fluttering her wings furiously, charges in back towards the armored opponent. However, she stops short and sweatdrops as King grabs her foot from behind, using her own momentum to swing her to the side. He grins a toothy smile, and goes to shake Armor King's hand/paw/yeah, sure. However, in pin-ball fashion, Q. Bee propells into a ring-rope, and slingshots back to the handshaking pair, bowling both of them over in a tangle of armor, leopard print and bee-stripes.
King (KOF): Ha! (she flexes her hand a few times for good measure) Here we go!
King (it's a lay-dee) now rejoins the fray, hitting a low sweep kick on Armor King, more as a taunt to the downed warrior than anything else.
King (KOF): Come on! Get up!
Armor King: Grrr... damn you, woman! I mean.. man!
Armor King pushes up to his feet, only to have a solid kick delivered into his muzzle. Q. Bee, in the meantime, is attempting to stick her stinger into a vulnerable King (the, er, cat one) who is dodging around helplessly. It looks as if things are over for the wrestling duo, when suddenly, a figure emerges from the backstage area!
Josh: haha... I'm a head... whoohoo!
Josh's head bounces out to the ringside, and sings a little song while happily jiggling around. The referree looks on, stunned. King, being a professional wrestler, immediately takes advantage of the situation. He flashes a large grin as he searches around under the ring apron.
Q. Bee: Come on, ya big scaredy cat! (she flutters her wings irritatedly)
King finally finds what he wants, and pulls it out from beneath the ring.
Everyone gasps, including those in the booth.
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Jin: My God! In nearly one year in this business I have never seen anything like this!
Callie: Damn him. Damn him straight to hell. My God.
Down in the Arena:
King (cat... man..) slides back into the ring, and before Q. Bee can react, he brings the steel chair he had snuck from under the ring smashing over her head, denting the seat. He then runs over, and while the referree is still watching Josh's head singing and "dancing", he clocks King (the female! Not himself!) over the head, as well. He thumbs-ups to Armor King, and both of them hook their opponent's legs and go for the cover.
Armor King: Yo! Ref! REF!
The ref turns around, and the whole audience begins to boo as he drops to begin the count.
1!
2!
3!
The whole crowd erupts into boos and chants of "You suck!" as King and Armor King support each other on the way out of the ring, grinning about how they won the match in typical professional wrestling style. Yup.
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang: My God, come Monday night, there is gonna be hell to pay, Kings!
Jin: You... ugh... -_-;
Jin is about to say something insulting to his red-haired nemesis, but everyone instead pauses to reguard Amy, who hasn't seemed to have shot off many insults at Lee that night. They are all surprised to see Amy is scribbling something on a paper, continually getting mad and then scratching it out, crumpling the paper, and tossing it into a waste basket. She then starts from scratch, deepening her frown.
A-Chan: (blinks) Amy, what's wrong?
Amy: I don't know... I have this bad case of writer's block...
A-Chan: (screams and leaps into Jin's lap, wrapping her hands around his broad shoulders) WRITER'S BLOCK!? Not in my booth!
Jin: (wide-eyed) No! Not Writer's Block!
Hwoarang: Holy shit! AGH!
Everyone except Amy goes into a frenzy, running in little circles and leaving Amy with an odd deja vu feeling, highly reminded of the "*gasp!* Not in our flower bed!" scene from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. A-Chan is, amazingly, the first to calm down.
A-Chan: All right, you creatively-blocked big butt book slut! How dare you bring your infectious harlotting into this clean environment of free-flowing verse?
Amy: Huh...? What the hell?...
Jin: What kind of filthy book-whore would bring LTD's into your booth, A-san?!
Amy: ...LTD's...?
Everyone (but Amy): LITERARY TRANSMITTED DISEASES!!
A-Chan: Amy... I think you've overstayed your welcome, you noxious pile of writer's diseases...
Amy: Come on, now... this is ridiculous...
A-Chan: There's only one cure for Writer's Block, the most dreaded disease in the creative world..!
Suddenly, a very large six-ton block falls on top of Amy, muffling her cry with a wet, echoing thud. The block is labelled with a sticker reading "Do Not Open Til X-Mas" on it.
A-Chan: (clambers back to her chair off of Jin's lap) How ironic that another form of block cures Writer's Block...
Charlie: Kind of like the irony that the alien thing in Godzilla 2000 dies the day after it wakes up from like, a million years of sleep?
Jin: Along that line.. (scribbles "Don't Open EVER" on a post-it note, then slaps it on the block)
Lee: Posh! I am playing second fiddle.. (glares disdainfully at the block surrounded by a rather wide circumference of pressure-splattered gore that was Amy Silva) to a block?!
Ben: (shrugs) The guy has a point. I'd feel dumb if I was playing a fiddle to a block, too.
Everyone pauses and looks at Ben.
Ben: (raises an eyebrow, then glowers at Lee) Hey, you can't play the fiddle! ...can you?
The booth is silent, the only motion to shake a head or sigh.
Ben: 'Cause, yeah.. if you can play the fiddle, I don't see ya showin' it...!
Down in the Arena:
Sho: (sniffles a bit as he levels a gun barrel to his head)
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang fwaps Ben upside the head slightly, and opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly falls silent.
A-Chan: (blinks) What is it, Hwoa-kun?
Hwoarang: I was just thinking... (a gunshot is heard in the distance) ..if I wanted a match, could I be in one?
Julia: Nope! I read aaaaall of A-Chan's rules - once you're up here, you're out of competition!
A-Chan: (blinks in surprise that Julia read the rules) Wow... Julia-chan, I'm surprised you actually read all those pages of rules and regulations of my Tournament!
Julia: (smiles) I try not to cross the boss, ya know?
Charlie: (sighs) Not since Part 3, anyway.
Julia: (laughs nervously and elbows Charlie in the ribs with her arm that is already entwined with his) Of course, not, Charles!
Hwoarang: (snickers) Charles...?
Jin, in the meantime, raises an eyebrow, then turns to A-Chan.
Jin: I couldn't be in a match, A-san?
A-Chan: Jin-kun, I'd expect you of all people to have read the rules...
Jin: Well.. I thought.. since you know.. I'm your favorite.. (he scratches the back of his head with a hopeful grin)
A-Chan: ...were you thinking of fighting Hwoarang?
Hwoarang grins excitedly at the prospect, but the smile is stolen from his face by Jin's outburst.
Jin: And waste my time?! NO! I already know I'm better than him!
As Jin continues, Charlie, Lee, Ben, and even Callie hold back a growling and cursing Hwoarang.
Jin: I want to fight... (dramatic pause) ...ROGER SMITH!!
There is a gasp from everyone in the booth.
A-Chan: Jin-kun, I know he has a horrible English seiyuu, and all, but...
Jin: How do you think I felt when I turned on the TV, and to my blind horror, there's some guy trying to do his hair like me.. (Jin tears a homemade dart-board picture of Roger Smith from under the desk and holds it up with a grimace) ...with disastrous results?! The fact his English voice has the drone of a 1950's infomercial only adds to the insult! (he hangs his head in shame, covering his eyes with a forearm) It's too much for a modern fighting game school-boy to bear...!
There is a pause as everyone tries to digest what has just been said, from the normally placid Jin.
A-Chan: (slowly) Jin-kun... you know I'd like to let you have the match... but--
Jin: A-san! You know I could beat Roger Smith!
A-Chan: ...well...
Jin gives A-Chan the big puppy eye face, and Hwoarang gags in the back, choking out "Writer's pet!".
A-Chan: I'll think about it. ^_^ In the meantime, Callie - get announcing!
Callie: (in her manly announcer voice) The following match is a requested match by one of the many fans of the Tournament - the cutesy battle! The first opponent follows in the footsteps of her counter self, only sporting a shorter haircut, cuter countenance, and flatter chest, less shapely hips and--
Callie is suddenly knocked out of her chair with an "OOF!" by a large bat plushie.
Down in the Arena:
Lillith "harrumphs" and folds her arms over her chest, scrunching up her face in a pout.
Lillith: I'm just as shapely as anyone else! You're one to talk, with your double A-cup! Hmph!
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang is poking at Callie with a bored expression.
Hwoarang: Hey. Co-host. You have to announce the other person.
Jin: You could be a little less cold - she is nuts about you, Hwoarang.. er.. in her own.. apathetic.. way...
Hwoarang: Yeah, yeah, yeah. As if your partner isn't nuts about you?
Jin and A-Chan blush.
Jin / A-Chan: That is NOT true, Hwoarang! (both pause and look at each other with a blink)
Callie: (slowly regaining her wits, she talks while still floored on the ground) The second opponent is hailing from China, a lively high school student who loooooves roller coasters, (Hwoarang picks up her chair with her still in it, setting it up so she is right-side up once more) and working off all the greasy, oftentimes fattening Chinese food she wolfs down like a horse and--
Callie is suddenly pegged by panda plushie, and with a mighty "ARGH!" she is once again flattened onto the floor.
Down in the Arena:
Ling Xiaoyu "harrumphs" and places her hands adamantly on her hips with a scowl.
Xiaoyu: I do NOT wolf down food like a horse! How rude of you! At least I'd never degrade myself by hosting with someone like Hwoarang!
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang: (with eyebrow raised) What the hell is she talking about? Doesn't everyone want me as their co-host?
Down in the Arena:
Xiaoyu: Ew-w-ww! Hosting with Hwoarang?! I'd rather do a week's worth of math homework! (she pauses and smiles dreamily) I'd want to host with... with.. (she shyly traces a heart with her toe in the ground) ...Jin-sama...
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan spits out the Pepsi she had been drinking and goes into a coughing fit. Hwoarang growls something under his breath.
Jin: A-san? A-san, what is it?
Charlie: (while dipping into a cup of ice with one hand, he is working the other with the cro-bar against Julia's iron grip on his arm) I think she choked, is all...
Ben: That's for sure.
Ben is suddenly tossed out of his chair and sent sprawling across the linoleum again, earning an angry glower from A-Chan, still red in the face from the coughing (and embarassment).
Lee: I have just thought of something.
Everyone turns to Lee, and reguards him (for once).
Lee: Where is Anna?
Over in Paul's Hotel Room:
Paul: Uhhh. How much is this? (he fumbles through his wallet, his pockets inside-out and dollar bills scattering all over)
Anna: ...tell you what, sweetie. I'll put it on your tab.
Paul: Oh, mmkay! Kickin'!
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Er, who cares! ^_^;; Let's start the match, shall we?
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: Yay! Time to win!
Xiayou looks up to the booth, and waves to everyone, taking careful measures to bat her eyelashes at Jin. However, Jin sits right next to Charlie, and Julia miscalculates the direction of her batting eyelashes... and wink.
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan and Julia narrow their eyes, and A-Chan motions Julia over to her. Julia gets up and walks over, Charlie thunking on the ground as she drags him with her.
A-Chan: We cannot have this Xiaslut stealing our co-hosts. Especially not with how... (looks at Charlie with a brow raised) ...how... er... Jin... help...
Jin: (whispers) Enamored? Smitten? Dumbstruck? Taken? ...Attached?
A-Chan: ATTACHED! Especially not with how attached Charlie is to you!
Charlie: ...whaaaa? -_-
Julia and A-Chan begin to whisper, much to Jin and Charlie's horror, as the match begins.
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou waves her hand about in a taunt to Lillith, who flutters her wings irritatedly. She leaps into the air, and then sweeps in toward Xiayou, with her foot poised for a kick. Xiayou nimbly catches her foot, and deflects her to the side. However, the commentary says differently.
Back in the Booth:
Julia: My gosh, A-Chan! Even a kindergartener could dodge that kick!
A-Chan: Xiayou took that one right in the chubby cheeks!
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: H-huh?
As Xiayou is distracted by the announcing, Lillith leaps up from the ground, and delivers a real kick into the side of Xiayou's face, right with the high heel. Xiayou back-pedals a bit, but immediately regains herself, getting her hands up in time for a block against Lillith's punch. She then shoves Lillith off of her and leaps into the air, flipping over Lillith's head, to land cleanly behind her. The nimble Chinese fighter brings her foot up into a kick, still facing away from the opponent. Lillith is pegged in the small of the back, but spins around, then pauses to reguard commentary.
Back in the Booth:
Julia: How could Xiayou use such a second - dare I say - third-rate move against an opponent as seasoned as Lillith?
A-Chan: Really, Julia! The professionals around here gotta be scoffing at that one!
Julia: Yeah... professionals like, I dunno... (her gaze wanders next to A-Chan) ..like Jin?
A-Chan: Hmm.. I would say so.
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou looks completely broken.
Xiayou: W.... whaaa...? (eyes tear up)
Back in the Booth:
Julia: AND! I'll bet the hardcore martial arts fans like... I dunno... CHARLIE!! (lifts Charlie up by the cheeks, causing him to make a pucker face) I'll bet they're disappointed, too!
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: (scoff) Why would I care what that little geeky guy thinks?
Back in the Booth:
Julia's eyes narrow, and a red, flaming aura surrounds here, as the other hosts stare on in terror.
Julia: What... did.. she.. call.. my.. Charlie...?!
A-Chan: A... a geeky...
Jin: ...guy...
Julia: The bitch will pay.
Down in the Arena:
Lillith is now dominating the battle, using her sharp blade-like transformations to keep Xiayou dodging every hit, with no option to block as she doesn't want to get cut. Xiayou is continually pushed towards the edge of the arena's battlefield, and close to the gong which started earlier matches. Finally, Xiayou is pushed against the gong with nowhere to go. Lillith dives into a somersault kick, with her leg transforming into a wicked sickle. With no other options, Xiayou dives to the right, Lillith's "leg" bangs into the gong, the sound reverberating throughout the arena. Xiayou snickers as Lillith vibrates back and forth with the repercussions of the hit. The lucky school-girl then moves to take advantage of the fight, but...
Back in the Booth:
Julia: AH-HA!! The gong is run, and the winner iiiiiis... LILLITH AENSLAND!!
In the Booth and Arena:
Everyone: Huuuuuh??!!?
Back in the Booth:
Julia: Looks like security will have to cart off Xiayou and lock her up in a broom closet and dress her in a hospital gown while whipping her with licorice sticks and making her watch the scene in Bambi where the mother dies for all eternity because of that horrible performance she put on in the match, which is clearly not allowed (she whips out the rule-book and points at it frantically) according to the official rules of Tournament of the Overpopulated!
In the Booth and Arena:
The whole populace of this fanfiction, A-Chan included, seems stunned. Everyone stares at A-Chan expectedly, waiting to see if she'll agree with this ridiculous rule that no one really believes was in the rule book (mostly because if it was, it would have been performed several times already.)
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: (stares blankly for a few seconds) Uh. Right, Julia-chan, whatever you say.
Down in the Arena:
Lillith begins to cheer wildly, as a large portion of security is disbatched into the arena.
Lillith: Yay! I wiiiiin! Er. Although I'm really not sure how. (scratches her head)
Xiayou: Wait! Wait, this isn't fair! (she looks up to the booth in desperation) Jin-sama!
Back in the Booth:
Jin blinks. A-Chan scowls.
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: (as security picks her up and begins to drag her off) Save me, Jin-sama! If you love me... even a little...!
Joe (Fatal Fury): Whoa. Total deja vu, man.
Andy (Fatal Fury): (looks worriedly at his brother, Terry, who he fears is having Sulia flashbacks)
Terry (Fatal Fury): (talking to some new blue-haired girl) So, hey, baby, you aren't in to, like, dying or anything, are you? 'Cause if you aren't... (smile smile wink wink)
Fatal Fury Cast: (sigh)
Xiayou: PLEASE! JIN! DON'T LET THEM DO THIS TO ME! *sniffle* Don't you remember what we meant to each other!
Back in the Booth:
Jin: (blinks, confused) We meant something to each other?
Hwoarang: (elbows Jin with an annoyed look) Remember that time she asked you to dinner? And she acted 'strange' the whole night at the restaurant you picked out?
Jin: (blinks again) Yeah.
Hwoarang: That was a date, you dumbass!
Jin: A-ah! It was?! (Jin looks at Hwoarang wild-eyed) How come no one told me?!
Everyone urks and slams their head on the desk.
Hwoarang: A-babe, you still want to chase this numbskull?
A-Chan: I am not chasing Jin!
Hwoarang: Yes, you are!
Julia: Hwoarang, don't mess with The Most Dangerous Sports Announcing Tandem To Ever Dawn A Set Of Headphones!!
Everyone stares blankly at Julia.
Julia: ....The Most Dangerous Sports Announcing Tandem To Ever Dawn A Set Of Headphones... A-Chan, and I!
Hwoarang: Is this like a gang war, or what?
A-Chan, after thinking about this new potential partnership, smiles brightly, and points an accusatory finger at Hwoarang.
A-Chan: How DARE you argue with me, non-member of the true following!
Julia: Yeah!
A-Chan / Julia: Dare you tangle with TMDSATTEDASOH!!
Hwoarang: I never tangle with something that has more letters in its name than I can count...
Jin: (smirking) You mean except for me.
Hwoarang: ...why you..! (makes a move as if he were to lunge at Jin, who just continues to flash that Mishima-smirk, as Charlie, Lee, Callie and A-Chan hold back Hwoarang)
Ben: Huh? Wait, I don't get it...
Everyone sighs.
Hwoarang: Well, whatever! (grabs Charlie by the arm and gets up, Charlie making an 'urk!' sound as he is dragged to his feet.) Chuck and I are gonna petition your dumb rule! (lightly elbows Charlie) Aren't we, Chuck?
Charlie: I... er?
Ben: OH! (leaps from his seat) Me, too!
They all look at Jin.
Hwoarang: (grinning) Come on, Kazama. Don't ya wanna fight Roger Smith?
Jin fidgets, then gives A-Chan the same look a puppy gives when it knows it's in trouble. A-Chan solemnly shakes her head, causing Jin to sigh. Much to the delight of the three other men holding the petition, he begrudgingly gets out of his seat and slinks over to join them.
A-Chan / Julia: (narrow their eyes and fold their arms)
Julia: (looking at Charlie) Oooohh you are SO busted, honey!
Down in the Arena:
Everyone: Can we get to the last match and finish this crap?!
Back in the Booth:
The boys all exit out of the booth, Jin and Charlie giving a sad backwards glance before being dragged out by Hwoarang and Ben.
Julia: Weeeee! We can make whatever matches we want, now, right? There's only three of us...
Callie: We should have a pudding match.
A-Chan and Julia both blink and look at Callie.
A-Chan / Julia: A WHAT?!
Lee: Mmm... pudding...
Suddenly, Hwoarang busts in, grabs Lee by the arm, and drags him out of the booth, much to everyone's dismay.
In the Hallway:
Lee blinks and looks around, as Hwoarang shoves him away. Lee folds his arms, and taps one foot, looking from one man to another.
Jin: (nervously, and not really wanting to talk to Lee) Er..
Lee: (arches eyebrow) Well...?
Jin: Uh... hello.. that's a good way to start things.. Hello!
Jin/Hwoarang/Ben/Charlie: Yes... hello! (all look at each other, looking a little aggitated, and look away)
Hwoarang: (folding his arms uncomfortably) So, uh... Lee... (looks around with caution) You're familiar with our idea: the one about the match being open-ended so anyone can enter.. including announcers..
Ben: (still trying to remove mullet wig) Yeah... I wanna enter, dammit!
Hwoarang: We need more support. We didn't really want to ask you, but since... the girls (rolls eyes) won't let us, we were thinking of starting a petition... would you support our idea?
Lee suddenly reaches out and clasps Hwoarang's hands, smiling dreamily (and very scarily).
Lee: You had me at 'hello'!
Everyone: (scared silence)
Back in the Booth
Anna has reappeared from wherever she was, and is now arguing a mean streak with TMDSATTEDASOH.
Anna: Oooh ho ho ho! These girls are nothing compared to me! I'm so curved and luscious and--
Julia: Yeah, and you won't shut up either! Be quiet, slut...
Anna: What?! (stands up) How dare you call me a slut!
A-Chan: Yeah, Julia! How dare you call that ho a slut!
As everyone continued to bicker, Callie shakes her head in sadness.
Callie: This is chaos. (pauses, then looks out at the audience) Hey, you. Yeah. You. You want to help right this horrible wrong? Well stay tuned. Because I'm sure something dumb will happen in Part 6. In the meantime, if you want, tell us what matches you want by mailing A-Chan, or leaving a clever review, and tell her the opponents. See you in Part 6.
Lights all fade to black.
A/N: Don't you hate these cliff-hanger endings?! Man, I can't believe I'm pushing 20,000 words on this thing o_O; Maybe that's why no one reads it.. eh heh... Well feel free to leave some reviews or flame me or whatever because, as we all know, I LOVE FLAMES! Wait.. no.. no, I mean reviews! I love reviews! Plus I'm really really running out of ideas for matches. Please take pity on me..
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan, Callie, Charlie, Amy, Ben and sometimes Zia - but most of the time I own her too! HA HA HA HA HA!! HA HA!! Ha.. ha.. ...ha...) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:
Tournament Of The OverPopulated: PART 5!!
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^
(aka A-Chan)
When we left our heroes, they were being attacked by a mystery-man.
(Special Charlie-Cam recap)
We see everything from Charlie's point of view. There is the glass of the booth window in front of him, and on the desktop you can see a big cup of ice.
Julia's voice from the side: This match is going to be cool, huh, Charlie?
Charlie: Oh, uh...
The view shifts to show Julia plastered to Charlie's arm, snuggling his sweatshirt sleeve.
Charlie: Can you see through my sweatshirt folds?
A hand reaches out into the cup of ice and puts it into Charlie's mouth, as he turns back to the match. Suddenly, a bashing sound erupts from the back of the room, and the view violently shifts to show the booth door slamming wide open.
Julia: AHHHHH!! Charlie!
Hwoarang: What the #$@%?!
A dark figure leaps out of the shadows, and the view shifts to show it jump on Jin, who turns around just in time to catch the main force of the ambush, as everyone continues to yell...
A-Chan: Jin!!
Charlie: Oh my God! Oh my God! Ice, ice, I need ice!
Lee: Oh no, please, mother!
...and as they yell, suddenly the power dies, and all the lights go out, leaving the booth shrouded in darkness.
In the Booth:
There are sounds of fighting from Jin and "Mystery Man" and everyone is still yelling and screaming and such. Suddenly, A-Chan gets an idea.
A-Chan: Oh, duh! Writer's priveledges!
Suddenly, all the lights flash back on in a brilliant spark, and Jin is shown holding a dark figure down onto the table with little effort. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
Hwoarang: All right, who is this asshole?!
Jin grabs the intruder by the back of the jacket and forces him up to show his face, revealing...
Charlie: Zoinks! It's Mr. Tigglewinks from the city bank!
Hwoarang: Wait a second, that can't be him! (Hwoarang tugs off the mask to reveal...)
Julia: Jinkies! It's Mildred O'Bargswath, the kindly old Irish woman who lived next door to the warehouse!
A-Chan: Mildred O'Bargswath? No way! (A-Chan pulls off the mask to reveal...)
Everyone: Holy Scooby Dooby, Batman! It's Ben!
Ben: (sheepishly) Uhh.. heh heh... hey!
Everyone groans, half in relief, and half in disdain.
Hwoarang: Your newest host nearly bagged Kazama!
Jin: (scoffs) Come on, he has to weigh a buck and a quarter, soaking wet, holding a brick! He couldn't have bagged me. (lightly sets Ben down and dusts off his shoulders, then smiles) ^_^ Sorry about all that. I think you scared me more than I scared you, though.
Anna Williams then struts in through the door, and everyone stares wide-eyed in horror.
Jin: ...A-san.... you didn't.
A-Chan: Um... nope, sorry! ^_^; I did!
Anna seductively fixes her hair, then sits down into a chair, crossing her legs.
Anna: Hey, there, boys! New co-host in the house! *wink*
Julia and Amy give A-Chan a dirty glare while the guys all sweatdrop and sit back down, averting their eyes. A-Chan looks from person to person then shrugs.
A-Chan: Ben wanted a ho! And I mean.. she has a bitch slap! And the zebra print outfit complete with hat! The winning and opening of the match taunts! The--
Jin: (claps one hand over A-Chan's mouth) You don't need to justify that she's a, er, 'lady of the evening', A-san... we know!
Ben moves to go sit in his seat, but A-Chan looks and holds out a hand in a 'stop' gesture.
A-Chan: Ben? Before you sit down...
Ben: Huh?
A-Chan: You know that you were off cue, right..?
Ben: (grinning) Yes. ^_^ (quickly wipes the smile off his face) But I mean, look at his hair! So freakishly... pointy...!
Jin: (makes a pouting face)
Ben: He's a Pyramid Head, for sure! Or at least in calhoots with them!
A-Chan: Well, I'm the writer, now... (grins even brighter) And I have full control over everything in this booth... in this arena.. in this fanfiction world!
Ben: (rolls eyes, and makes a move to sit down) Then why didn't you just stop me from being off cue?
A-Chan: (glowers)
Ben sits down in his seat, but it falls over backwards, spilling him onto the linoleum floor, which he rolls across to smack into the far wall. Christian* and Ripperette** then beat his dazed body with mallets, but not before a big Dhali Lama glues a Dark Schneider-esque 80's mullet wig on his head and smothers him in honey mustard.
A-Chan beams.
Ripperette: (waves) Bye, onee-chan! (flashes a peace sign, and leads Christian by the hand out of the room)
Christian: (singing) Chris-tian! Chriiis-tian!
A-Chan: Bye, sis! Bye, Chrissy! ^_^ Thank you!
The Dhali Lama doesn't leave; it sits cross-legged on the floor and meditates, making light "ohm" sounds and silently scaring the living hell out of everyone.
Hwoarang: (points and snickers at Ben) Ha! You got a mullet, dude!
Ben: Heey! It's not a REAL mullet! (grumbles and mutters as he straightens his chair and sits back down)
Hwoarang: That's okay.. a mullet isn't a REAL hairstyle!
Jin: It's more like a statement.
Hwoarang: Yes.. the kind you stick on a wooden post in front of your trailor...
Jin: ...and sit on the front step with your cowboy hat and leopard-print wearing honky wife...
Hwoarang: ...and listen to her complain about the fact her mother told her never to marry an in-law when--
Ben: OKAY, OKAY!! STOP!! (still muttering) WhyIoughtastupidredheadsonuvabitchthinksheknowseverything...
Hwoarang: Hey, tiger, calm down! (slaps Ben on the shoulder, earning him a dirty look) Tell you what. We'll give you a sweet nickname... how about..
Ben: ...not?
Hwoarang: (chuckles) Oooh, no, I don't think so. (snaps) Got it! Mulleto.. strongest Mullet... (sweeps his arms wide in a grandeur gesture) ...in the world!!
Jin: ...it has potential.
Ben: ... -_-
Callie: Match. NOW. (slams her fist on the table)
A-Chan: Bleh, fine! (muttering) Ya little... (back in normal tone) Jin-kun!
Jin: (turns to A-Chan) A-San?
A-Chan: I don't think we've announced a match with each other since Part 1.
Jin: (blinks) I do believe you're right, A-San. (smiles brightly) Shall we?
A-Chan: Lets!
Down in the Arena:
Everyone: What about the Royal Rumble?!
King (KOF): We were about to have a match, here!
King (Tekken): Rrowl! Yeah!
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: ... (sighs) I guess another day, Jin-kun.
Jin: All righty. Then on to the Royal Rumble!
Down in the Arena:
King (KOF): Now we show you the power of women!
Armor King: Heh heh heh! You don't look much like a woman to me!
King (KOF): Grr.. shut your mouth!
King runs at Armor King, and leaps into the air, launching into a high aerial kick. Armor King easily slides out of the way, securing himself behind King. He wraps his arms around her waist, and executes a perfect German suplex, nailing King into the mat. However, as he goes to get up, Q. Bee launches a swarm of bees from a large honeycomb. Armor King swipes a forearm at them, most splatting harmlessly into the armored covering, the rest scattering upon impact on his heavily armored shoulders.
King (Tekken): Har! Time for some interference!
King, ya know, the cat-head one, dives into the fray, tackling Q. Bee to the ground, proceeding to deliver repeated punches to the face. King, the female one, has now clambered to her feet, and begins to aim high kicks for Armor King's face, each one caught skillfully by the wrestler, and forced back upon her in quick succession. Q. Bee finally shoves King (the other one, dude!) off of her, and launches upward into a flying kick, her wings fluttering furiously. Her heel lands into King's (cat-head {I'm sick of labeling}) chin, and he stumbles back, regaining just in time to catch her other foot sailing in toward his right cheek. He grabs out for her other foot, and catches it, delivering her into a helicopter spin, tossing her unceremoniously to the ground.
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang is going nuts, shouting obscene comments to the would-be wrestling match, as everyone else stays mostly silent. A-Chan entertains herself by a magazine full of Edge photographs.
Hwoarang: Yeah! Yeah! Kick him in the head! Powerbomb, powerbomb!
Jin: (rubbing his temple with one hand) Go figure an idiot like Hwoarang would be into professional wrestling...
A-Chan: (blinks a few times, then quietly slides the WWF Raw magazine under the desk, innocently tapping her fingers on the booth desk)
Down in the Arena:
Armor King suddenly jabs out with a left hand, knocking King (the girl, ya know) to the ground, and goes for a pinfall. The referree begins to count it, but Q. Bee catches the scene out of the corner of her eye. She lands a hard knee into King's stomach, and then dives onto Armor King, breaking up the count at two.
Q. Bee: Victory!
Armor King: Grrr... dammit, bee!
Q. Bee gets shoved off of Armor King's back with a quick flick of his shoulder, and he lifts King (the woman!) by the hair.
King (KOF): Grr.. damn you, cat-man!
Armor King blinks and lets go as she shoots one fist into his stomach, followed by her crying out and clutching her hand, as it is never a smart idea to punch someone in armor. She stumble/dances away, cursing herself and holding her hand. Armor King places his hands on his hips and begins to laugh, when Q. Bee runs up and latches onto him from the back, clawing at his cat mask/face/thing/whatever.
Armor King: ARGH! My face.. I mean mask... my thing.. whatever!
Armor King lunges back, grabs Q. Bee by the antennae, and throws her over his head. She regains her balance mid-air, and fluttering her wings furiously, charges in back towards the armored opponent. However, she stops short and sweatdrops as King grabs her foot from behind, using her own momentum to swing her to the side. He grins a toothy smile, and goes to shake Armor King's hand/paw/yeah, sure. However, in pin-ball fashion, Q. Bee propells into a ring-rope, and slingshots back to the handshaking pair, bowling both of them over in a tangle of armor, leopard print and bee-stripes.
King (KOF): Ha! (she flexes her hand a few times for good measure) Here we go!
King (it's a lay-dee) now rejoins the fray, hitting a low sweep kick on Armor King, more as a taunt to the downed warrior than anything else.
King (KOF): Come on! Get up!
Armor King: Grrr... damn you, woman! I mean.. man!
Armor King pushes up to his feet, only to have a solid kick delivered into his muzzle. Q. Bee, in the meantime, is attempting to stick her stinger into a vulnerable King (the, er, cat one) who is dodging around helplessly. It looks as if things are over for the wrestling duo, when suddenly, a figure emerges from the backstage area!
Josh: haha... I'm a head... whoohoo!
Josh's head bounces out to the ringside, and sings a little song while happily jiggling around. The referree looks on, stunned. King, being a professional wrestler, immediately takes advantage of the situation. He flashes a large grin as he searches around under the ring apron.
Q. Bee: Come on, ya big scaredy cat! (she flutters her wings irritatedly)
King finally finds what he wants, and pulls it out from beneath the ring.
Everyone gasps, including those in the booth.
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Jin: My God! In nearly one year in this business I have never seen anything like this!
Callie: Damn him. Damn him straight to hell. My God.
Down in the Arena:
King (cat... man..) slides back into the ring, and before Q. Bee can react, he brings the steel chair he had snuck from under the ring smashing over her head, denting the seat. He then runs over, and while the referree is still watching Josh's head singing and "dancing", he clocks King (the female! Not himself!) over the head, as well. He thumbs-ups to Armor King, and both of them hook their opponent's legs and go for the cover.
Armor King: Yo! Ref! REF!
The ref turns around, and the whole audience begins to boo as he drops to begin the count.
1!
2!
3!
The whole crowd erupts into boos and chants of "You suck!" as King and Armor King support each other on the way out of the ring, grinning about how they won the match in typical professional wrestling style. Yup.
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang: My God, come Monday night, there is gonna be hell to pay, Kings!
Jin: You... ugh... -_-;
Jin is about to say something insulting to his red-haired nemesis, but everyone instead pauses to reguard Amy, who hasn't seemed to have shot off many insults at Lee that night. They are all surprised to see Amy is scribbling something on a paper, continually getting mad and then scratching it out, crumpling the paper, and tossing it into a waste basket. She then starts from scratch, deepening her frown.
A-Chan: (blinks) Amy, what's wrong?
Amy: I don't know... I have this bad case of writer's block...
A-Chan: (screams and leaps into Jin's lap, wrapping her hands around his broad shoulders) WRITER'S BLOCK!? Not in my booth!
Jin: (wide-eyed) No! Not Writer's Block!
Hwoarang: Holy shit! AGH!
Everyone except Amy goes into a frenzy, running in little circles and leaving Amy with an odd deja vu feeling, highly reminded of the "*gasp!* Not in our flower bed!" scene from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. A-Chan is, amazingly, the first to calm down.
A-Chan: All right, you creatively-blocked big butt book slut! How dare you bring your infectious harlotting into this clean environment of free-flowing verse?
Amy: Huh...? What the hell?...
Jin: What kind of filthy book-whore would bring LTD's into your booth, A-san?!
Amy: ...LTD's...?
Everyone (but Amy): LITERARY TRANSMITTED DISEASES!!
A-Chan: Amy... I think you've overstayed your welcome, you noxious pile of writer's diseases...
Amy: Come on, now... this is ridiculous...
A-Chan: There's only one cure for Writer's Block, the most dreaded disease in the creative world..!
Suddenly, a very large six-ton block falls on top of Amy, muffling her cry with a wet, echoing thud. The block is labelled with a sticker reading "Do Not Open Til X-Mas" on it.
A-Chan: (clambers back to her chair off of Jin's lap) How ironic that another form of block cures Writer's Block...
Charlie: Kind of like the irony that the alien thing in Godzilla 2000 dies the day after it wakes up from like, a million years of sleep?
Jin: Along that line.. (scribbles "Don't Open EVER" on a post-it note, then slaps it on the block)
Lee: Posh! I am playing second fiddle.. (glares disdainfully at the block surrounded by a rather wide circumference of pressure-splattered gore that was Amy Silva) to a block?!
Ben: (shrugs) The guy has a point. I'd feel dumb if I was playing a fiddle to a block, too.
Everyone pauses and looks at Ben.
Ben: (raises an eyebrow, then glowers at Lee) Hey, you can't play the fiddle! ...can you?
The booth is silent, the only motion to shake a head or sigh.
Ben: 'Cause, yeah.. if you can play the fiddle, I don't see ya showin' it...!
Down in the Arena:
Sho: (sniffles a bit as he levels a gun barrel to his head)
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang fwaps Ben upside the head slightly, and opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly falls silent.
A-Chan: (blinks) What is it, Hwoa-kun?
Hwoarang: I was just thinking... (a gunshot is heard in the distance) ..if I wanted a match, could I be in one?
Julia: Nope! I read aaaaall of A-Chan's rules - once you're up here, you're out of competition!
A-Chan: (blinks in surprise that Julia read the rules) Wow... Julia-chan, I'm surprised you actually read all those pages of rules and regulations of my Tournament!
Julia: (smiles) I try not to cross the boss, ya know?
Charlie: (sighs) Not since Part 3, anyway.
Julia: (laughs nervously and elbows Charlie in the ribs with her arm that is already entwined with his) Of course, not, Charles!
Hwoarang: (snickers) Charles...?
Jin, in the meantime, raises an eyebrow, then turns to A-Chan.
Jin: I couldn't be in a match, A-san?
A-Chan: Jin-kun, I'd expect you of all people to have read the rules...
Jin: Well.. I thought.. since you know.. I'm your favorite.. (he scratches the back of his head with a hopeful grin)
A-Chan: ...were you thinking of fighting Hwoarang?
Hwoarang grins excitedly at the prospect, but the smile is stolen from his face by Jin's outburst.
Jin: And waste my time?! NO! I already know I'm better than him!
As Jin continues, Charlie, Lee, Ben, and even Callie hold back a growling and cursing Hwoarang.
Jin: I want to fight... (dramatic pause) ...ROGER SMITH!!
There is a gasp from everyone in the booth.
A-Chan: Jin-kun, I know he has a horrible English seiyuu, and all, but...
Jin: How do you think I felt when I turned on the TV, and to my blind horror, there's some guy trying to do his hair like me.. (Jin tears a homemade dart-board picture of Roger Smith from under the desk and holds it up with a grimace) ...with disastrous results?! The fact his English voice has the drone of a 1950's infomercial only adds to the insult! (he hangs his head in shame, covering his eyes with a forearm) It's too much for a modern fighting game school-boy to bear...!
There is a pause as everyone tries to digest what has just been said, from the normally placid Jin.
A-Chan: (slowly) Jin-kun... you know I'd like to let you have the match... but--
Jin: A-san! You know I could beat Roger Smith!
A-Chan: ...well...
Jin gives A-Chan the big puppy eye face, and Hwoarang gags in the back, choking out "Writer's pet!".
A-Chan: I'll think about it. ^_^ In the meantime, Callie - get announcing!
Callie: (in her manly announcer voice) The following match is a requested match by one of the many fans of the Tournament - the cutesy battle! The first opponent follows in the footsteps of her counter self, only sporting a shorter haircut, cuter countenance, and flatter chest, less shapely hips and--
Callie is suddenly knocked out of her chair with an "OOF!" by a large bat plushie.
Down in the Arena:
Lillith "harrumphs" and folds her arms over her chest, scrunching up her face in a pout.
Lillith: I'm just as shapely as anyone else! You're one to talk, with your double A-cup! Hmph!
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang is poking at Callie with a bored expression.
Hwoarang: Hey. Co-host. You have to announce the other person.
Jin: You could be a little less cold - she is nuts about you, Hwoarang.. er.. in her own.. apathetic.. way...
Hwoarang: Yeah, yeah, yeah. As if your partner isn't nuts about you?
Jin and A-Chan blush.
Jin / A-Chan: That is NOT true, Hwoarang! (both pause and look at each other with a blink)
Callie: (slowly regaining her wits, she talks while still floored on the ground) The second opponent is hailing from China, a lively high school student who loooooves roller coasters, (Hwoarang picks up her chair with her still in it, setting it up so she is right-side up once more) and working off all the greasy, oftentimes fattening Chinese food she wolfs down like a horse and--
Callie is suddenly pegged by panda plushie, and with a mighty "ARGH!" she is once again flattened onto the floor.
Down in the Arena:
Ling Xiaoyu "harrumphs" and places her hands adamantly on her hips with a scowl.
Xiaoyu: I do NOT wolf down food like a horse! How rude of you! At least I'd never degrade myself by hosting with someone like Hwoarang!
Back in the Booth:
Hwoarang: (with eyebrow raised) What the hell is she talking about? Doesn't everyone want me as their co-host?
Down in the Arena:
Xiaoyu: Ew-w-ww! Hosting with Hwoarang?! I'd rather do a week's worth of math homework! (she pauses and smiles dreamily) I'd want to host with... with.. (she shyly traces a heart with her toe in the ground) ...Jin-sama...
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan spits out the Pepsi she had been drinking and goes into a coughing fit. Hwoarang growls something under his breath.
Jin: A-san? A-san, what is it?
Charlie: (while dipping into a cup of ice with one hand, he is working the other with the cro-bar against Julia's iron grip on his arm) I think she choked, is all...
Ben: That's for sure.
Ben is suddenly tossed out of his chair and sent sprawling across the linoleum again, earning an angry glower from A-Chan, still red in the face from the coughing (and embarassment).
Lee: I have just thought of something.
Everyone turns to Lee, and reguards him (for once).
Lee: Where is Anna?
Over in Paul's Hotel Room:
Paul: Uhhh. How much is this? (he fumbles through his wallet, his pockets inside-out and dollar bills scattering all over)
Anna: ...tell you what, sweetie. I'll put it on your tab.
Paul: Oh, mmkay! Kickin'!
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Er, who cares! ^_^;; Let's start the match, shall we?
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: Yay! Time to win!
Xiayou looks up to the booth, and waves to everyone, taking careful measures to bat her eyelashes at Jin. However, Jin sits right next to Charlie, and Julia miscalculates the direction of her batting eyelashes... and wink.
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan and Julia narrow their eyes, and A-Chan motions Julia over to her. Julia gets up and walks over, Charlie thunking on the ground as she drags him with her.
A-Chan: We cannot have this Xiaslut stealing our co-hosts. Especially not with how... (looks at Charlie with a brow raised) ...how... er... Jin... help...
Jin: (whispers) Enamored? Smitten? Dumbstruck? Taken? ...Attached?
A-Chan: ATTACHED! Especially not with how attached Charlie is to you!
Charlie: ...whaaaa? -_-
Julia and A-Chan begin to whisper, much to Jin and Charlie's horror, as the match begins.
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou waves her hand about in a taunt to Lillith, who flutters her wings irritatedly. She leaps into the air, and then sweeps in toward Xiayou, with her foot poised for a kick. Xiayou nimbly catches her foot, and deflects her to the side. However, the commentary says differently.
Back in the Booth:
Julia: My gosh, A-Chan! Even a kindergartener could dodge that kick!
A-Chan: Xiayou took that one right in the chubby cheeks!
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: H-huh?
As Xiayou is distracted by the announcing, Lillith leaps up from the ground, and delivers a real kick into the side of Xiayou's face, right with the high heel. Xiayou back-pedals a bit, but immediately regains herself, getting her hands up in time for a block against Lillith's punch. She then shoves Lillith off of her and leaps into the air, flipping over Lillith's head, to land cleanly behind her. The nimble Chinese fighter brings her foot up into a kick, still facing away from the opponent. Lillith is pegged in the small of the back, but spins around, then pauses to reguard commentary.
Back in the Booth:
Julia: How could Xiayou use such a second - dare I say - third-rate move against an opponent as seasoned as Lillith?
A-Chan: Really, Julia! The professionals around here gotta be scoffing at that one!
Julia: Yeah... professionals like, I dunno... (her gaze wanders next to A-Chan) ..like Jin?
A-Chan: Hmm.. I would say so.
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou looks completely broken.
Xiayou: W.... whaaa...? (eyes tear up)
Back in the Booth:
Julia: AND! I'll bet the hardcore martial arts fans like... I dunno... CHARLIE!! (lifts Charlie up by the cheeks, causing him to make a pucker face) I'll bet they're disappointed, too!
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: (scoff) Why would I care what that little geeky guy thinks?
Back in the Booth:
Julia's eyes narrow, and a red, flaming aura surrounds here, as the other hosts stare on in terror.
Julia: What... did.. she.. call.. my.. Charlie...?!
A-Chan: A... a geeky...
Jin: ...guy...
Julia: The bitch will pay.
Down in the Arena:
Lillith is now dominating the battle, using her sharp blade-like transformations to keep Xiayou dodging every hit, with no option to block as she doesn't want to get cut. Xiayou is continually pushed towards the edge of the arena's battlefield, and close to the gong which started earlier matches. Finally, Xiayou is pushed against the gong with nowhere to go. Lillith dives into a somersault kick, with her leg transforming into a wicked sickle. With no other options, Xiayou dives to the right, Lillith's "leg" bangs into the gong, the sound reverberating throughout the arena. Xiayou snickers as Lillith vibrates back and forth with the repercussions of the hit. The lucky school-girl then moves to take advantage of the fight, but...
Back in the Booth:
Julia: AH-HA!! The gong is run, and the winner iiiiiis... LILLITH AENSLAND!!
In the Booth and Arena:
Everyone: Huuuuuh??!!?
Back in the Booth:
Julia: Looks like security will have to cart off Xiayou and lock her up in a broom closet and dress her in a hospital gown while whipping her with licorice sticks and making her watch the scene in Bambi where the mother dies for all eternity because of that horrible performance she put on in the match, which is clearly not allowed (she whips out the rule-book and points at it frantically) according to the official rules of Tournament of the Overpopulated!
In the Booth and Arena:
The whole populace of this fanfiction, A-Chan included, seems stunned. Everyone stares at A-Chan expectedly, waiting to see if she'll agree with this ridiculous rule that no one really believes was in the rule book (mostly because if it was, it would have been performed several times already.)
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: (stares blankly for a few seconds) Uh. Right, Julia-chan, whatever you say.
Down in the Arena:
Lillith begins to cheer wildly, as a large portion of security is disbatched into the arena.
Lillith: Yay! I wiiiiin! Er. Although I'm really not sure how. (scratches her head)
Xiayou: Wait! Wait, this isn't fair! (she looks up to the booth in desperation) Jin-sama!
Back in the Booth:
Jin blinks. A-Chan scowls.
Down in the Arena:
Xiayou: (as security picks her up and begins to drag her off) Save me, Jin-sama! If you love me... even a little...!
Joe (Fatal Fury): Whoa. Total deja vu, man.
Andy (Fatal Fury): (looks worriedly at his brother, Terry, who he fears is having Sulia flashbacks)
Terry (Fatal Fury): (talking to some new blue-haired girl) So, hey, baby, you aren't in to, like, dying or anything, are you? 'Cause if you aren't... (smile smile wink wink)
Fatal Fury Cast: (sigh)
Xiayou: PLEASE! JIN! DON'T LET THEM DO THIS TO ME! *sniffle* Don't you remember what we meant to each other!
Back in the Booth:
Jin: (blinks, confused) We meant something to each other?
Hwoarang: (elbows Jin with an annoyed look) Remember that time she asked you to dinner? And she acted 'strange' the whole night at the restaurant you picked out?
Jin: (blinks again) Yeah.
Hwoarang: That was a date, you dumbass!
Jin: A-ah! It was?! (Jin looks at Hwoarang wild-eyed) How come no one told me?!
Everyone urks and slams their head on the desk.
Hwoarang: A-babe, you still want to chase this numbskull?
A-Chan: I am not chasing Jin!
Hwoarang: Yes, you are!
Julia: Hwoarang, don't mess with The Most Dangerous Sports Announcing Tandem To Ever Dawn A Set Of Headphones!!
Everyone stares blankly at Julia.
Julia: ....The Most Dangerous Sports Announcing Tandem To Ever Dawn A Set Of Headphones... A-Chan, and I!
Hwoarang: Is this like a gang war, or what?
A-Chan, after thinking about this new potential partnership, smiles brightly, and points an accusatory finger at Hwoarang.
A-Chan: How DARE you argue with me, non-member of the true following!
Julia: Yeah!
A-Chan / Julia: Dare you tangle with TMDSATTEDASOH!!
Hwoarang: I never tangle with something that has more letters in its name than I can count...
Jin: (smirking) You mean except for me.
Hwoarang: ...why you..! (makes a move as if he were to lunge at Jin, who just continues to flash that Mishima-smirk, as Charlie, Lee, Callie and A-Chan hold back Hwoarang)
Ben: Huh? Wait, I don't get it...
Everyone sighs.
Hwoarang: Well, whatever! (grabs Charlie by the arm and gets up, Charlie making an 'urk!' sound as he is dragged to his feet.) Chuck and I are gonna petition your dumb rule! (lightly elbows Charlie) Aren't we, Chuck?
Charlie: I... er?
Ben: OH! (leaps from his seat) Me, too!
They all look at Jin.
Hwoarang: (grinning) Come on, Kazama. Don't ya wanna fight Roger Smith?
Jin fidgets, then gives A-Chan the same look a puppy gives when it knows it's in trouble. A-Chan solemnly shakes her head, causing Jin to sigh. Much to the delight of the three other men holding the petition, he begrudgingly gets out of his seat and slinks over to join them.
A-Chan / Julia: (narrow their eyes and fold their arms)
Julia: (looking at Charlie) Oooohh you are SO busted, honey!
Down in the Arena:
Everyone: Can we get to the last match and finish this crap?!
Back in the Booth:
The boys all exit out of the booth, Jin and Charlie giving a sad backwards glance before being dragged out by Hwoarang and Ben.
Julia: Weeeee! We can make whatever matches we want, now, right? There's only three of us...
Callie: We should have a pudding match.
A-Chan and Julia both blink and look at Callie.
A-Chan / Julia: A WHAT?!
Lee: Mmm... pudding...
Suddenly, Hwoarang busts in, grabs Lee by the arm, and drags him out of the booth, much to everyone's dismay.
In the Hallway:
Lee blinks and looks around, as Hwoarang shoves him away. Lee folds his arms, and taps one foot, looking from one man to another.
Jin: (nervously, and not really wanting to talk to Lee) Er..
Lee: (arches eyebrow) Well...?
Jin: Uh... hello.. that's a good way to start things.. Hello!
Jin/Hwoarang/Ben/Charlie: Yes... hello! (all look at each other, looking a little aggitated, and look away)
Hwoarang: (folding his arms uncomfortably) So, uh... Lee... (looks around with caution) You're familiar with our idea: the one about the match being open-ended so anyone can enter.. including announcers..
Ben: (still trying to remove mullet wig) Yeah... I wanna enter, dammit!
Hwoarang: We need more support. We didn't really want to ask you, but since... the girls (rolls eyes) won't let us, we were thinking of starting a petition... would you support our idea?
Lee suddenly reaches out and clasps Hwoarang's hands, smiling dreamily (and very scarily).
Lee: You had me at 'hello'!
Everyone: (scared silence)
Back in the Booth
Anna has reappeared from wherever she was, and is now arguing a mean streak with TMDSATTEDASOH.
Anna: Oooh ho ho ho! These girls are nothing compared to me! I'm so curved and luscious and--
Julia: Yeah, and you won't shut up either! Be quiet, slut...
Anna: What?! (stands up) How dare you call me a slut!
A-Chan: Yeah, Julia! How dare you call that ho a slut!
As everyone continued to bicker, Callie shakes her head in sadness.
Callie: This is chaos. (pauses, then looks out at the audience) Hey, you. Yeah. You. You want to help right this horrible wrong? Well stay tuned. Because I'm sure something dumb will happen in Part 6. In the meantime, if you want, tell us what matches you want by mailing A-Chan, or leaving a clever review, and tell her the opponents. See you in Part 6.
Lights all fade to black.
A/N: Don't you hate these cliff-hanger endings?! Man, I can't believe I'm pushing 20,000 words on this thing o_O; Maybe that's why no one reads it.. eh heh... Well feel free to leave some reviews or flame me or whatever because, as we all know, I LOVE FLAMES! Wait.. no.. no, I mean reviews! I love reviews! Plus I'm really really running out of ideas for matches. Please take pity on me..
