CHAPTER FOUR
[Ha ha ha…yes, I know, you were sitting there, wondering what would happen…^.^
Heh. Isn't that a kawaii visual you have of Syaoran and Sakura?! ISN"T IT?! Of course it is. Well, I won't keep you…]
"DAMNIT LI, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" roared a voice. Syaoran rolled off me and whipped around. It was Sean, wiping his mouth disgustedly.
"You're gonna pay for that! I was about to kiss Sakura!"
"Like she'd want you to," Syaoran replied coldly.
"Who wouldn't want to?" asked Sean arrogantly.
"I can think about…twenty people," Syaoran said innocently.
Sean balled up his fists, as I pushed myself up into a sitting position.
"Move it, Li, I wanna kiss that girl." Said Sean, his voice dead calm.
"Hmmm…Nope!" said Syaoran, standing in front of me. I blushed, and the whole room fell silent. I could faintly hear the whirring of Tomoyo's camera.
"I said MOVE." Sean said dangerously, standing up to Syaoran, trying to look down on him, but failing, as Syaoran was just as tall as he was. In fact, they were nose-to-nose.
I stood up on shaky knees, and put a hand on Syaoran's shoulder. He looked at my hand, and blushed…but Sean used his momentary distraction to his advantage, snatching my wrists and kissing my on the lips. I started flailing, and Sean earned an elbow in the stomach, and a poke in the eye.
He stumbled back, releasing me, and I wiped my mouth disgustedly on my sleeve. "Eeeew…"
Syaoran lunged at Sean, but Tomoyo and Eriol sprang up, seizing him firmly on the arms. "LET ME AT HIIIIIIIIM!" he roared, struggling wildly.
"I'll—see—you—Li," wheezed Sean, then he turned to me. "'Bye, Sakura," he said tenderly, swiping a strand from my face. I flinched, backing up into the wall. He kissed me again, and I spat in his face.
Sean smiled evilly. "Don't be deceived so easily, Card Mistress. You're feisty. I like that. You'll make a good mistress for me."
"TIME!" roared a voice, I felt a prickle of magic. The Time card stopped the scene, and Tomoyo, Eriol, Syaoran, Sean and I were the only ones not trapped in it.
"Get away from her." Said an icy voice. It was Syaoran. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?"
"This is out of your hands, Xiao Lang," said Sean—if that's who it really was—said curtly.
"Hishirito…" he hissed angrily.
"Who?" asked Tomoyo confusedly.
"I thought we killed you," said Eriol darkly, shifting in front of Tomoyo.
This Hishirito guy noticed this, and chuckled. "Don't bother protecting the Daidouji girl. She doesn't have any magic."
His gaze flickered back to me, and his hands tightened on my upper arms, pressing me against the wall.
I shrieked as I saw Tomoyo, Eriol, and Syaoran all drop like stones, thick chains binding them to the ground. Tomoyo was knocked out, as Eriol, but Syaoran was struggling slightly.
"SAKURA!!!!!" he yelled.
A bolt of electricity spiked at him, and he writhed, roaring in pain. Weakly, he turned his face up to mine.
"Sya-Sya—" I whispered, terrified.
"But you do." He muttered evilly.
I saw Syaoran, and he watched me, with horror filled eyes.
The dark wizard drew a line with a cold fingertip from my jaw to my lips. I wish I bit his finger. "Remember…" said Hishirito in a dark voice. "You'll always be alone." He whispered inn my ear…I shivered, and he vanished. Tears started to pour down my cheeks for some reason, and I couldn't stop them.
Time began flowing again, and we saw "Sean" walk storm out of the house angrily, and slammed the door.
Syaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol rushed up to me, and I was crying harder than ever.
We went to her bedroom, and the others continued playing, but with much less excitement.
Syaoran handed me a green handkerchief; as I buried my face in it, I realized it smelled just like him; fresh and clean…like a hint of lavender with cinnamon.
I dried my eyes…and Tomoyo and Eriol must have seen how tired I was.
"Sakura, you should get some sleep," Tomoyo murmured sympathetically.
"Yeah," Eriol said, agreeing
They walked out of the room, hand in hand, and I started crying again.
"Sakura…" said a soft voice, "What did he say to you?"
I shook my head, sobs racking my body, more afraid than ever. -What's happening to me? Why am I crying so much?-
[A/N: oohhh I am soo stuffed! I feel like a glutton—three pieces of domino's thin crust pizza and a bunch of cinnastix and icing…so good, but so filling! I'm baby sitting right now, and I'm listening to now 8 and the two girls are watching a DVD…ahhh peace! ^.^. Okay, I'm a sap, I really am, but THIS SICKENINGLY SWEET SCENE IS MAKING ME HURL! BLEEEEARGH! Toodles!]
~SYAORAN~
I watched, Sakura cry, and every tear that fell from her lowered eyelids killed a part of me. She buried her head in my shoulder, clinging to me, crying. I stiffened, then relaxed, slipping an arm around her slender waist. Gradually, her sobs quieted, and her breathing became calm and relaxed. It was then I realized she'd fallen asleep on my shoulder. I blushed deeply, and sobered. Gently, I eased her on to Tomoyo's pillow, and studied her. Sakura looked like a fallen angel, silky hair in disarray as she still gripped a sleeve of my sweater. Grinning slightly, I took off my sweater, and attempted covering her with it as she still clutched the dark green sleeve.
"Sweet dreams, Sakura." I murmured sadly, and walked out of the room on silent feet.
Somehow, when I went down stairs, I felt separated from my friends. I felt so alone.
Everyone there had someone. Chiharu had Yamazaki, Eriol had Tomoyo, Rika had Mr. Terada—I flinched at that pair; Naoko had her books; Kia had every guy in the whole school. Sakura had her family and friends…I had no one. I had never felt so alone in my life.
I went in to the kitchen, and sat there in the cold kitchen for the rest of the party, alone, at the table, under a cone of white light.
~~~~~~ONE WEEK LATER~~~~~~
~TOMOYO~
Ever since my party, Syaoran and Sakura hadn't been the same. I mean, who could blame then? It's not every day that you find out that the most popular guy at school—the captain of the football team, rolling in money, charmer of hundreds of girls—is actually a power hungry, dangerous wizard who you were _supposed_ to have killed, but it didn't work because he showed up as an "innocent" human boy at your best friend's party, and kissed the Card Mistress, told her something in her ear, electrocuted her friends with magic, and then stormed out? [Dude that's a loooooong sentence]
And Sakura, especially, I was worried about. I mean, she was pale, her hair was not brushed, her clothes were wrinkled, and she started getting gaunter and thinner as the days passed, and even her eyes lost their usual effervescence and sparkle. She trudged forlornly from class to class, and she started getting gray-purple circles under her eyes.
Sean still came to school, his usual cheery self, giving no hint to any one that he was the world's most evil sorcerer.
~SAKURA~
[DUDE! HERE COME THE LYRICS! Disclaimer: I do not own this song, or any song by Linkin Park. I don't own them. I kinda wish I did though, heh. ;- )~]
/I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be what I'm not any more/
Hah. They think they know me. They call me their friends. What do they know? Sean said that I was completely alone…and it's true.
I mean, Mei Lin and Syaoran are engaged, and all of my friends have someone. For God's sake, Yukito has Touya, Touya has Nakuru, and KERO HAS SUPPI CHAN! IT'S LIKE A FREAKING LOVE TRIANGLE!
[Yeah I'm getting slightly annoyed, one of the kids keeps on coming over here and reading the stuff—'cept this isn't really nine year old material. o.O]
I'M ALONE! DID YOU HEAR THAT?! I'M ALONE!
I stared into the mirror, shocked what I have turned into in little over a week. A sick, depressed girl stared back at me, wearing a pink tank top and pink shorts as her pajamas. It's funny what four small words have done to me. I mean, the whole class is depressed just because I'm in the middle of having an emotional breakdown, and Mr. Terada didn't even give us homework for the whole week. The popular saying is, "If Sakura's upset, you might as well dig yourself a grave and jump into it 'cause you're screwed."
But I didn't care about any one anymore. I don't care. I DON'T CARE!
It's good to be alone now. Kero's noticed, but thankfully he hasn't said anything. Yet.
I stared at my razor in the hand. The innocent part of me was scared. ~What if I cut myself too deep? What if--~ it was cut off by my darker part. ~You withering ninny. Look at yourself. Pain is your only escape.~
I nicked just a corner of my inner wrist, then panicked as the crimson blood welled up. ~Maybe you DID cut it too deep…~
I couldn't help it, but I felt my insides heave in disgust for myself, and I threw up in the toilet. [ okay folks, she's not a bulimic, she just cut herself once, freaked out, and threw up because she was scared, weak and sick. Go ahead, I know you hate me…and you probably wouldn't think what Sean said would do that much damage to Sakura, but…well, you'll see…]
My magic was already healing the cut…it was only a scratch…but the pain wasn't a thrill like that dark voice said in my head. It scared the shit out of me, and I started crying as I flushed the toilet, splashing my face with cold water from the sink. I spat, trying to rid myself of that nasty acidic taste in my mouth.
Tears streamed down my face, and I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste, sticking it in mouth. I brushed thoroughly, sobbing, spitting in the sink. Suddenly, I hated everything. I hated myself, I hated the world, and I hated everything in it. In a fury, I released my wand, and stared at my reflection. A gaunt girl with haunting, wild eyes stared back at me. In a shriek of frenzy, I smacked my wand into the mirror several times, glass spinning from the mirror, one cutting my cheek, others grazing my hands and legs.
My reflection looked even worse. I was ravaged, confused and terrified. Kero was sleeping, Touya was gone for the weekend and Dad was on another dig.
I pelted out of the bathroom, tears stinging my eyes, and I grabbed a jacket, not caring about my cuts, and I brought out the Dash card. I whacked it, and sped away from my house, not bothering to lock the door. The wind whipped at my face, sending my hair into even more of a disarray, the cold wind cutting right through my jacket. I was only wearing shorts.
I didn't even know where I was going. I just ran. A sharp pain shot up my side, as I got a cramp from running. I needed some one…I needed help.
/A little taste of hypocrisy /
Sobbing, I landed at an apartment complex, and blindly stumbled up the flights of stairs. Unconsciously I went to a door, and rang the bell.
"C-can I-I u-use y-your p-phone?" I sobbed hysterically. I didn't care how it looked to this stranger, me, cut up in shorts and a spaghetti strap with a spring jacket over it in December.
"Sakura!?" asked a deep voice incredulously. God. Ohmigod. I was at Syaoran's apartment, and I didn't know it.
Before I knew it, I hurled myself into his arms, and started telling him, between sobs, everything.
A massive headache assailed me, as I still wept in his arms, my power swiftly draining out of me. . .what ever that was left of it. . .
He snapped the door shut and led me to the couch. Syaoran, stood up for and I cried, "Don't leave me, Syaoran! You can't leave me again!" I weakly tried to grab his hand, and he said, "I'm just going to make some tea and get you a blanket. Okay?"
"O—Kay," I said slowly, sniffling.
He brought back a thick polar fleece blanket and swathed me in it, then brought two mugs of steaming tea.
We sipped it silently, and I stared at my reflection, swirling the hot tea.
~SYAORAN~
(back when he answers the door)
I was lying on the couch, staring up into the ceiling, trying to figure out what was the matter with her. It was amazing how she'd changed in the course of a week—she seemed like a different person altogether. We hadn't talked, she hadn't spoken to anyone, not even Tomoyo. She just sat there in class, she skipped cheerleading practice, she almost was late to school everyday, and she didn't look like she ate anything. [she's not anorexic either, Sakura is just having an incredibly rough time]
And she hadn't smiled, laughed or even _smirked_ in the last week. I was going crazy over the obvious pain she was going through, and every tine our gazes met, her dull eyes seemed to portray so much PAIN…so much jaded exhaustion and confusion. Sean/Hishirito was going to pay.
The radio was playing, and a song by some American band was on. As funny or corny as it sounded, the song fit in with my life at the moment perfectly.
/And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react/
My mistake was that I let Sean hurt Sakura.
/Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant and I can't bring you back /
The doorbell rang, and wearily, I stood to open it. And my jaw dropped. It was Sakura. She was scratched, sobbing, wearing only a pair of shorts, a tank top, and a light spring jacket. A cold wind blew into my apartment, and with a cry, she hurled herself into my arms, between breathless sobs, she started telling me everything.
I led her into my apartment, sitting her down on the couch. I rose to make tea, and wildly, she gripped my wrist, and sobbed that I couldn't leave her. I reassured her, and returned with lemon and honeyed tea, and covered her in a thick fleecy blanket.
/It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face/
Her face. . . her sweet, angelic face. . . was gaunt, thin and exhausted. Anger began to boil up. Her sobbing voice, tears leaking from her dull eyes. . .
/The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories,
Even though you're not with me
I'm with you /
It was silent, save for the radio, for a while before I spoke. "Sakura…what's the matter?" I didn't know what else to say; it seemed pathetically stupid to ask her "what was the matter."
She bit her lip, tears threatening to spill again. "I. . .don't know. . .after Sean whispered into my ear, my world turned upside down, and nothing seemed right anymore. He…scared me, Syaoran."
"What did he say?" I growled, clutching my cup.
She shivered and quoted solemnly, "He said, 'Remember…you'll always be alone,' and then he vanished."
/You
Now I see
Keeping everything inside
You
Now I see even when I close my eyes/
I scowled, sipping tea through clenched teeth. "What—a—jerk—" I growled.
"Syaoran, please," she begged, looking at me with sad eyes. "Can you help me? I don't know what's the matter with me…"
Suddenly, it hit me. I didn't know why I didn't think of this sooner. "Sakura," I breathed. "It's a card!"
"A card?" she asked, a tiny smile forming on her face. "Syaoran! So…this isn't real? I'm not. . . depressed?"
"No, Sakura, it's a card. . . it's like. . . the Alone Card."
Touched her neck, and like always, the star pendant was hanging there. Except, the star looked lifeless, dull and plastic. "I'm so low on magic, Syaoran."
"I'll help you," I offered instantly.
"Okay…" instinctively, she reached into her pocket and drew out the Sakura Card deck. She stared at it in her hand. "How'd it get in my jacket?" She asked confusedly.
I shrugged and said, "Okay, are you ready?"
"Yeah," she said, standing up, the blanket slipping off of her shoulders. I stood behind her, holding her arms, and started fueling my magic into her. Sakura raised the staff, becoming stronger with our combining magic. She chanted the incantation, her words growing louder and more confident with each syllable.
"MOVE CARD, TRANSPORT THE CARD OUT OF ME AND IN FRONT OF ME!" A blinding white light shot into her stomach, and wheezing, she fell back, doubled over in sudden pain.
"SAKURA!" I yelled, catching her.
A moment later, the white jet of light came back with a dark black one, and the move card went into its confines. The black one grew and twisted, becoming the shape of a young girl, with long, straight black hair and piercing silver eyes.
"I am the Alone Card. Hishirito placed me inside of you, through that kiss," she said, dropping to her knees, tears filling up in her eyes. "I am sorry for any inconvenience I have been to you. There are more on the way…I am not the last. I know I hurt you, but I am a card that shows how your friends react towards you during your darkest days…and your friends have been especially true to you. Especially you, Xiao Lang." She gave us a long look, and then whispered, "Seal me, please." Standing up. I was getting dizzier, and I began to sway. Weakly, Sakura sealed and transformed the card, just as Eriol and Tomoyo burst in the door. That card took a lot to transform…
/We fall to the floor, the rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real /
"Oh…hey guys," she said wearily, eyes unfocused. "I-I'm back—" and eyes closing, she fainted, and I caught her in my arms. Lifting her gently, I took her to my room, and set her on the bed. I studied her for a long time, sitting there, watching Sakura sleep.
Sakura was already looking better; though she was still pale, and her thick, long lashes lay against her pale cheeks, amber hair in disarray, arms dramatically thrown on my pillows as she breathed a steady, soothing rhythm. Tomoyo and Eriol tiptoed in the room.
"Is she gonna be okay?" whispered Tomoyo.
"Yes, I think she's going to be just fine." I said softly, a small smile flitting across my lips.
/No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
No matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you /
[Ha ha ha…yes, I know, you were sitting there, wondering what would happen…^.^
Heh. Isn't that a kawaii visual you have of Syaoran and Sakura?! ISN"T IT?! Of course it is. Well, I won't keep you…]
"DAMNIT LI, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" roared a voice. Syaoran rolled off me and whipped around. It was Sean, wiping his mouth disgustedly.
"You're gonna pay for that! I was about to kiss Sakura!"
"Like she'd want you to," Syaoran replied coldly.
"Who wouldn't want to?" asked Sean arrogantly.
"I can think about…twenty people," Syaoran said innocently.
Sean balled up his fists, as I pushed myself up into a sitting position.
"Move it, Li, I wanna kiss that girl." Said Sean, his voice dead calm.
"Hmmm…Nope!" said Syaoran, standing in front of me. I blushed, and the whole room fell silent. I could faintly hear the whirring of Tomoyo's camera.
"I said MOVE." Sean said dangerously, standing up to Syaoran, trying to look down on him, but failing, as Syaoran was just as tall as he was. In fact, they were nose-to-nose.
I stood up on shaky knees, and put a hand on Syaoran's shoulder. He looked at my hand, and blushed…but Sean used his momentary distraction to his advantage, snatching my wrists and kissing my on the lips. I started flailing, and Sean earned an elbow in the stomach, and a poke in the eye.
He stumbled back, releasing me, and I wiped my mouth disgustedly on my sleeve. "Eeeew…"
Syaoran lunged at Sean, but Tomoyo and Eriol sprang up, seizing him firmly on the arms. "LET ME AT HIIIIIIIIM!" he roared, struggling wildly.
"I'll—see—you—Li," wheezed Sean, then he turned to me. "'Bye, Sakura," he said tenderly, swiping a strand from my face. I flinched, backing up into the wall. He kissed me again, and I spat in his face.
Sean smiled evilly. "Don't be deceived so easily, Card Mistress. You're feisty. I like that. You'll make a good mistress for me."
"TIME!" roared a voice, I felt a prickle of magic. The Time card stopped the scene, and Tomoyo, Eriol, Syaoran, Sean and I were the only ones not trapped in it.
"Get away from her." Said an icy voice. It was Syaoran. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?"
"This is out of your hands, Xiao Lang," said Sean—if that's who it really was—said curtly.
"Hishirito…" he hissed angrily.
"Who?" asked Tomoyo confusedly.
"I thought we killed you," said Eriol darkly, shifting in front of Tomoyo.
This Hishirito guy noticed this, and chuckled. "Don't bother protecting the Daidouji girl. She doesn't have any magic."
His gaze flickered back to me, and his hands tightened on my upper arms, pressing me against the wall.
I shrieked as I saw Tomoyo, Eriol, and Syaoran all drop like stones, thick chains binding them to the ground. Tomoyo was knocked out, as Eriol, but Syaoran was struggling slightly.
"SAKURA!!!!!" he yelled.
A bolt of electricity spiked at him, and he writhed, roaring in pain. Weakly, he turned his face up to mine.
"Sya-Sya—" I whispered, terrified.
"But you do." He muttered evilly.
I saw Syaoran, and he watched me, with horror filled eyes.
The dark wizard drew a line with a cold fingertip from my jaw to my lips. I wish I bit his finger. "Remember…" said Hishirito in a dark voice. "You'll always be alone." He whispered inn my ear…I shivered, and he vanished. Tears started to pour down my cheeks for some reason, and I couldn't stop them.
Time began flowing again, and we saw "Sean" walk storm out of the house angrily, and slammed the door.
Syaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol rushed up to me, and I was crying harder than ever.
We went to her bedroom, and the others continued playing, but with much less excitement.
Syaoran handed me a green handkerchief; as I buried my face in it, I realized it smelled just like him; fresh and clean…like a hint of lavender with cinnamon.
I dried my eyes…and Tomoyo and Eriol must have seen how tired I was.
"Sakura, you should get some sleep," Tomoyo murmured sympathetically.
"Yeah," Eriol said, agreeing
They walked out of the room, hand in hand, and I started crying again.
"Sakura…" said a soft voice, "What did he say to you?"
I shook my head, sobs racking my body, more afraid than ever. -What's happening to me? Why am I crying so much?-
[A/N: oohhh I am soo stuffed! I feel like a glutton—three pieces of domino's thin crust pizza and a bunch of cinnastix and icing…so good, but so filling! I'm baby sitting right now, and I'm listening to now 8 and the two girls are watching a DVD…ahhh peace! ^.^. Okay, I'm a sap, I really am, but THIS SICKENINGLY SWEET SCENE IS MAKING ME HURL! BLEEEEARGH! Toodles!]
~SYAORAN~
I watched, Sakura cry, and every tear that fell from her lowered eyelids killed a part of me. She buried her head in my shoulder, clinging to me, crying. I stiffened, then relaxed, slipping an arm around her slender waist. Gradually, her sobs quieted, and her breathing became calm and relaxed. It was then I realized she'd fallen asleep on my shoulder. I blushed deeply, and sobered. Gently, I eased her on to Tomoyo's pillow, and studied her. Sakura looked like a fallen angel, silky hair in disarray as she still gripped a sleeve of my sweater. Grinning slightly, I took off my sweater, and attempted covering her with it as she still clutched the dark green sleeve.
"Sweet dreams, Sakura." I murmured sadly, and walked out of the room on silent feet.
Somehow, when I went down stairs, I felt separated from my friends. I felt so alone.
Everyone there had someone. Chiharu had Yamazaki, Eriol had Tomoyo, Rika had Mr. Terada—I flinched at that pair; Naoko had her books; Kia had every guy in the whole school. Sakura had her family and friends…I had no one. I had never felt so alone in my life.
I went in to the kitchen, and sat there in the cold kitchen for the rest of the party, alone, at the table, under a cone of white light.
~~~~~~ONE WEEK LATER~~~~~~
~TOMOYO~
Ever since my party, Syaoran and Sakura hadn't been the same. I mean, who could blame then? It's not every day that you find out that the most popular guy at school—the captain of the football team, rolling in money, charmer of hundreds of girls—is actually a power hungry, dangerous wizard who you were _supposed_ to have killed, but it didn't work because he showed up as an "innocent" human boy at your best friend's party, and kissed the Card Mistress, told her something in her ear, electrocuted her friends with magic, and then stormed out? [Dude that's a loooooong sentence]
And Sakura, especially, I was worried about. I mean, she was pale, her hair was not brushed, her clothes were wrinkled, and she started getting gaunter and thinner as the days passed, and even her eyes lost their usual effervescence and sparkle. She trudged forlornly from class to class, and she started getting gray-purple circles under her eyes.
Sean still came to school, his usual cheery self, giving no hint to any one that he was the world's most evil sorcerer.
~SAKURA~
[DUDE! HERE COME THE LYRICS! Disclaimer: I do not own this song, or any song by Linkin Park. I don't own them. I kinda wish I did though, heh. ;- )~]
/I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be what I'm not any more/
Hah. They think they know me. They call me their friends. What do they know? Sean said that I was completely alone…and it's true.
I mean, Mei Lin and Syaoran are engaged, and all of my friends have someone. For God's sake, Yukito has Touya, Touya has Nakuru, and KERO HAS SUPPI CHAN! IT'S LIKE A FREAKING LOVE TRIANGLE!
[Yeah I'm getting slightly annoyed, one of the kids keeps on coming over here and reading the stuff—'cept this isn't really nine year old material. o.O]
I'M ALONE! DID YOU HEAR THAT?! I'M ALONE!
I stared into the mirror, shocked what I have turned into in little over a week. A sick, depressed girl stared back at me, wearing a pink tank top and pink shorts as her pajamas. It's funny what four small words have done to me. I mean, the whole class is depressed just because I'm in the middle of having an emotional breakdown, and Mr. Terada didn't even give us homework for the whole week. The popular saying is, "If Sakura's upset, you might as well dig yourself a grave and jump into it 'cause you're screwed."
But I didn't care about any one anymore. I don't care. I DON'T CARE!
It's good to be alone now. Kero's noticed, but thankfully he hasn't said anything. Yet.
I stared at my razor in the hand. The innocent part of me was scared. ~What if I cut myself too deep? What if--~ it was cut off by my darker part. ~You withering ninny. Look at yourself. Pain is your only escape.~
I nicked just a corner of my inner wrist, then panicked as the crimson blood welled up. ~Maybe you DID cut it too deep…~
I couldn't help it, but I felt my insides heave in disgust for myself, and I threw up in the toilet. [ okay folks, she's not a bulimic, she just cut herself once, freaked out, and threw up because she was scared, weak and sick. Go ahead, I know you hate me…and you probably wouldn't think what Sean said would do that much damage to Sakura, but…well, you'll see…]
My magic was already healing the cut…it was only a scratch…but the pain wasn't a thrill like that dark voice said in my head. It scared the shit out of me, and I started crying as I flushed the toilet, splashing my face with cold water from the sink. I spat, trying to rid myself of that nasty acidic taste in my mouth.
Tears streamed down my face, and I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste, sticking it in mouth. I brushed thoroughly, sobbing, spitting in the sink. Suddenly, I hated everything. I hated myself, I hated the world, and I hated everything in it. In a fury, I released my wand, and stared at my reflection. A gaunt girl with haunting, wild eyes stared back at me. In a shriek of frenzy, I smacked my wand into the mirror several times, glass spinning from the mirror, one cutting my cheek, others grazing my hands and legs.
My reflection looked even worse. I was ravaged, confused and terrified. Kero was sleeping, Touya was gone for the weekend and Dad was on another dig.
I pelted out of the bathroom, tears stinging my eyes, and I grabbed a jacket, not caring about my cuts, and I brought out the Dash card. I whacked it, and sped away from my house, not bothering to lock the door. The wind whipped at my face, sending my hair into even more of a disarray, the cold wind cutting right through my jacket. I was only wearing shorts.
I didn't even know where I was going. I just ran. A sharp pain shot up my side, as I got a cramp from running. I needed some one…I needed help.
/A little taste of hypocrisy /
Sobbing, I landed at an apartment complex, and blindly stumbled up the flights of stairs. Unconsciously I went to a door, and rang the bell.
"C-can I-I u-use y-your p-phone?" I sobbed hysterically. I didn't care how it looked to this stranger, me, cut up in shorts and a spaghetti strap with a spring jacket over it in December.
"Sakura!?" asked a deep voice incredulously. God. Ohmigod. I was at Syaoran's apartment, and I didn't know it.
Before I knew it, I hurled myself into his arms, and started telling him, between sobs, everything.
A massive headache assailed me, as I still wept in his arms, my power swiftly draining out of me. . .what ever that was left of it. . .
He snapped the door shut and led me to the couch. Syaoran, stood up for and I cried, "Don't leave me, Syaoran! You can't leave me again!" I weakly tried to grab his hand, and he said, "I'm just going to make some tea and get you a blanket. Okay?"
"O—Kay," I said slowly, sniffling.
He brought back a thick polar fleece blanket and swathed me in it, then brought two mugs of steaming tea.
We sipped it silently, and I stared at my reflection, swirling the hot tea.
~SYAORAN~
(back when he answers the door)
I was lying on the couch, staring up into the ceiling, trying to figure out what was the matter with her. It was amazing how she'd changed in the course of a week—she seemed like a different person altogether. We hadn't talked, she hadn't spoken to anyone, not even Tomoyo. She just sat there in class, she skipped cheerleading practice, she almost was late to school everyday, and she didn't look like she ate anything. [she's not anorexic either, Sakura is just having an incredibly rough time]
And she hadn't smiled, laughed or even _smirked_ in the last week. I was going crazy over the obvious pain she was going through, and every tine our gazes met, her dull eyes seemed to portray so much PAIN…so much jaded exhaustion and confusion. Sean/Hishirito was going to pay.
The radio was playing, and a song by some American band was on. As funny or corny as it sounded, the song fit in with my life at the moment perfectly.
/And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react/
My mistake was that I let Sean hurt Sakura.
/Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant and I can't bring you back /
The doorbell rang, and wearily, I stood to open it. And my jaw dropped. It was Sakura. She was scratched, sobbing, wearing only a pair of shorts, a tank top, and a light spring jacket. A cold wind blew into my apartment, and with a cry, she hurled herself into my arms, between breathless sobs, she started telling me everything.
I led her into my apartment, sitting her down on the couch. I rose to make tea, and wildly, she gripped my wrist, and sobbed that I couldn't leave her. I reassured her, and returned with lemon and honeyed tea, and covered her in a thick fleecy blanket.
/It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face/
Her face. . . her sweet, angelic face. . . was gaunt, thin and exhausted. Anger began to boil up. Her sobbing voice, tears leaking from her dull eyes. . .
/The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories,
Even though you're not with me
I'm with you /
It was silent, save for the radio, for a while before I spoke. "Sakura…what's the matter?" I didn't know what else to say; it seemed pathetically stupid to ask her "what was the matter."
She bit her lip, tears threatening to spill again. "I. . .don't know. . .after Sean whispered into my ear, my world turned upside down, and nothing seemed right anymore. He…scared me, Syaoran."
"What did he say?" I growled, clutching my cup.
She shivered and quoted solemnly, "He said, 'Remember…you'll always be alone,' and then he vanished."
/You
Now I see
Keeping everything inside
You
Now I see even when I close my eyes/
I scowled, sipping tea through clenched teeth. "What—a—jerk—" I growled.
"Syaoran, please," she begged, looking at me with sad eyes. "Can you help me? I don't know what's the matter with me…"
Suddenly, it hit me. I didn't know why I didn't think of this sooner. "Sakura," I breathed. "It's a card!"
"A card?" she asked, a tiny smile forming on her face. "Syaoran! So…this isn't real? I'm not. . . depressed?"
"No, Sakura, it's a card. . . it's like. . . the Alone Card."
Touched her neck, and like always, the star pendant was hanging there. Except, the star looked lifeless, dull and plastic. "I'm so low on magic, Syaoran."
"I'll help you," I offered instantly.
"Okay…" instinctively, she reached into her pocket and drew out the Sakura Card deck. She stared at it in her hand. "How'd it get in my jacket?" She asked confusedly.
I shrugged and said, "Okay, are you ready?"
"Yeah," she said, standing up, the blanket slipping off of her shoulders. I stood behind her, holding her arms, and started fueling my magic into her. Sakura raised the staff, becoming stronger with our combining magic. She chanted the incantation, her words growing louder and more confident with each syllable.
"MOVE CARD, TRANSPORT THE CARD OUT OF ME AND IN FRONT OF ME!" A blinding white light shot into her stomach, and wheezing, she fell back, doubled over in sudden pain.
"SAKURA!" I yelled, catching her.
A moment later, the white jet of light came back with a dark black one, and the move card went into its confines. The black one grew and twisted, becoming the shape of a young girl, with long, straight black hair and piercing silver eyes.
"I am the Alone Card. Hishirito placed me inside of you, through that kiss," she said, dropping to her knees, tears filling up in her eyes. "I am sorry for any inconvenience I have been to you. There are more on the way…I am not the last. I know I hurt you, but I am a card that shows how your friends react towards you during your darkest days…and your friends have been especially true to you. Especially you, Xiao Lang." She gave us a long look, and then whispered, "Seal me, please." Standing up. I was getting dizzier, and I began to sway. Weakly, Sakura sealed and transformed the card, just as Eriol and Tomoyo burst in the door. That card took a lot to transform…
/We fall to the floor, the rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real /
"Oh…hey guys," she said wearily, eyes unfocused. "I-I'm back—" and eyes closing, she fainted, and I caught her in my arms. Lifting her gently, I took her to my room, and set her on the bed. I studied her for a long time, sitting there, watching Sakura sleep.
Sakura was already looking better; though she was still pale, and her thick, long lashes lay against her pale cheeks, amber hair in disarray, arms dramatically thrown on my pillows as she breathed a steady, soothing rhythm. Tomoyo and Eriol tiptoed in the room.
"Is she gonna be okay?" whispered Tomoyo.
"Yes, I think she's going to be just fine." I said softly, a small smile flitting across my lips.
/No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
No matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you /
