When they were little, Daichi Sumeragi used to see his little cousins quite often. His mother was from the early dawn of the Japanese feminist movement, she had great respect for Subaru's grandmother inspite of-- even because of-- the clan's avoidance.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
Subaru looked up from his cigarette, straighten his back up against the rough white stone wall on habit. His legs drawn up, cream colored coat covering most of them-- the edges hanging lazily down his thighs. "Why?" he asked bitterly. "He was our enemy."
"Perhaps ... an enemy in many ways. And if he was alive things would be different certainly, but now that he's dead all that matters is that you loved him." Daichi tilted his head back to leaned against the wall himself, staring up at the cloud speckled sky. "Unlike you I prefer to sympathize with the living not the dead. You lost someone you loved, that's all that matters. In life he is the Sakurazukamori, the enemy of our clan, in death he is only a person you loved and he only matters at all because you're mourning him."
When Subaru and Hokuto moved to Tokyo permanently he saw them maybe three times a year. Maybe he was sad about that, maybe he wasn't. But as the youngest of five children, if it did bother him in the beginning it was not for long.
Subaru said nothing, his gaze fell slowly back to the low horizon.
"Isn't that right? The dead are gone, but they influence the living. There's no use obsessing over what was, once a person is dead their identity is stripped from them and the only thing that remains is the feelings of the living. And you loved him..."
"That's probably why you never became an onmyouji," Subaru noted quietly. His eyes had not left the dance of the grass swaying beneath them in the soft breeze. "The inability to sympathize with the dead."
He took out one of his own cigarettes. They were clove and when smoked were deep and rich, making curls of spicy smoke straight up to heaven. There was a break as Subaru lit it for him and thoughts were recollected. "Yeah ... maybe. Learn to turn a blind eye to the past Subaru, otherwise I fear for your sanity."
"I think it's too late for that."
When Hokuto died, Subaru moved back to Tokyo. But it was almost as if he had moved even further away. He became rather antisocial and despite both living on the Sumeragi estate, they rarely if ever saw each other. Rarely if ever spoke.
"... you've become the Sakurazukamori." It was not a question that reflected any sort of horror or shock, simply confirming what was the case. "What does Haruna-obasan say about it?"
"Nothing," Subaru murmured, inhaling deeply from his cigarette and flicking the ash contemptfully on the grass. "She just looks at me sadly and says nothing about it. I almost wish she would."
"Ahhh the trials of Job are not for you Subaru."
"Still..."
"What is she suppose to say? ... you're the only thing she has left you know."
Subaru said nothing, and that was about as much a confirmation as anything else.
"I assume you'll be staying here from now on."
"What makes you think that?"
Daichi sighed, a large puff of dark smoke fading around him. "It has a melodramatic irony that fits you."
Subaru went back to Tokyo for five years in pursuit of the wild dark shadows that danced around his soul, and came back in a greater ruins then he imagined Tokyo was in. They spoke a little more frequently again, saw each other occassionally...
For a long time the sun hung lazily in the air, neither setting nor raising, simply stretching its arms out on the sky and sighing contentedly. It was a beautiful day, early spring, the birds beginning to chatter soft choruses to each other, bright shades on blues and greens socializing under the leafy trees, and two men smoking up against one of the buildings at the furthest end of the compound.
"What do you think happens to people when they die?" Subaru mumbled to the grass.
"You're asking me???" Daichi laughed. "What did you skip that chapter in Onmyoujitsu 101?"
"I know the answer the Sumeragi clan teaches, I even know answers from all over the world. I'd like to know what you think."
"Why? What does it matter?"
"Because ... there's no point in hoping for some nice after life where everyone is happy just to make yourself feel better." Subaru's eyes shifted half closed, heavy lashes brushing against his cheek for a brief moment.
"You know the Laguna of North America have this thing ... whenever they kill a deer they leave offerings to the deer's spirit to thank it for dying. The deer has a spirit, a soul like a living person ... but they have to kill it to feed themselves. So they thank the deer, say 'hey I gots no choice, no hard feelings right?' so the deer spirit will be pacified and not suffer or turn vengeful, but return to bless them again.
"By doing so they maintain balance and peace between people and the environment. Because all things have to die but they don't have to suffer."
Subaru looked up. "Where'd you hear that?"
"Family library when I was young." He waved his cigarette with a grin. "Once you left for Tokyo I spent a lot of time reading there while mom was seeing Haruna-obasan. I don't know why out of all the number of things I could have remembered, I remembered that. But who knows, it could work."
"I tried that once already as a child, and that's what got me into this mess in the first place."
"Yes, but that was then. You're bigger, stronger ... and who's to stop you?"
When Subaru didn't answer, he didn't bother pushing the matter further. "You know why trees can live for thousands of years and animals cannot? Why animals need to kill and feed off of other living things and trees do not?"
"No."
"Me neither" he laughed. "...All right then,"-- reaching down to ruffle Subaru's hair as if he had when they were children. "As long as you remember that I am the reigning bad ass of this family..."
For a second Subaru stared dumbly at him, blinking stupidly. Then like the true master of illusion he had become, he gave Daichi soft half smile and nodded. "Hai."
In Kamui's mind it had been only a few days since he killed Fuuma. He had expected the nightmares to come, the dull purr of things forgotten could not shield his mind forever. The shock of being scooped up from his place could only protect him for so long. He could not pretend that it had all hadn't really happened. He couldn't build barricades just because he couldn't see the proof that the Promise Day had once come to him.
The shock had warded off the guilt for a time at least. But it infected him once he became accustomed to living on the Sumeragi estate, starting with a deep knot in his stomach and swelling until he couldn't close his eyes without seeing images the were a decade old.
To everyone else of course... to Kamui they were brand new, vivid and clear...
What kind of person kills his bestfriend?
What kind of person destroys everything...
Everything they touch.
Tokyo Tower glowed with soft yellow colored light, the beams were a fitting shade of deep red. When it rained drops tickled and splattered looking almost like blood. Kamui had heard it had rained when the Christ was killed ... he didn't know what to make of this.
The sky had been overcast that day, it seemed ominous.
But it had not rained that day ... at least not to his memory.
And there was Fuuma, leaning up against a beam of the Tower like he had always belonged there, like he was communing with the tower itself, like he was a piece of the tower...
What kind of person...
Kamui did not resort to the obvious defense. He did not think the words that would have freed his heart from all the pain he had endured. The words that would have made his burden of fate much lighter... But to do so would mean he would have to give up his friend and abandon Fuuma to the hands of cruel fate.
He did not think it, he would not allow him too. If anything it was his fault. All his fault for existing in the first place.
Fuuma...
What kind of person am I?
Subaru had been special.
He had loved Subaru, yes, but it was different ... much different. It was special. His love for Subaru's was not a burden on his heart, nor on Subaru. It made him lighter, made the pain more bearable, made the nights easier, made him able to confuse himself enough to be happy-- just a little. He had loved others in his life and lost them-- his mother, Kotori, Fuuma...-- and his love for them had weighted down his heart and almost drowned him.
But love with Subaru made him light. It lifted him out of the waters of his misery. It warmed and healed and made Kamui feel good about who he was for once.
Five days ago I kill my best friend...
Five days ago, I was 16...
Five days ago the storms came to my eyes, but no rain fell from the heavy sky. And I wished it would rain because then I would have an excuse to cry. To know that after all...
After all...
And when he lost Subaru, it did not drag him down ... because love for Subaru was light and gentle like air. He missed it of course, he missed him, but he did not suffer when it was gone. Love for Subaru never betrayed him as the man had, it never tried to weigh him down rather than lifting him up.
And some people would say that this isn't love at all. That if losing Subaru had not broken his heart, not made him feel pain, then clearly he had never loved Subaru at all.
But Kamui did. Because Subaru's love was special. It was not a love of a man, but a love of what that man gave ... kindness, tenderness, understanding, protection... And when the man was gone the feelings were still there.
Someone had understood
Someone had cared.
Someone had let him cry without shame, let him laugh without guilt, and let him abandon without obligations.
He had left Subaru just as much as Subaru had left him. Because when Subaru left he could no longer give what Kamui was in love with. Kamui got over it.
And some people would say that's not love, Kamui thought that it was beautiful no matter what it was. Because loving someone shouldn't hurt, it should make you happy and never make you suffer. But he knew enough from loving that ... that was idealism. Love could be the most painful thing in the world.
But love for Subaru was special, it didn't work that way. Though people would criticize to and say that he never loved Subaru, that he was foolish and selfish ... he couldn't imagine how anyone would argue that a love that kills you inside is somehow better than a love that raises you up...
and lets you go.
It was a mutual thing, Subaru took what he needed from Kamui just as much as Kamui took from him.
But now, loving Subaru was slowly killing him, because he needed the man as well as the love and couldn't have either. He could have died in peace at any moment now. If he were struck dead right on the ground he stood at this very moment, he would have no disppointment in dying so young.
Except ... this very soft wonder about Subaru's feelings. He had thought that Subaru cared nothing for him after all, but if that were true ... would he be here?
All Subaru wanted was to send him away.
What sort of person kills their bestfriend?
He was just being considerate and waiting until Kamui was well enough to live on his own.
If you were a stronger person you would have found away to bring him back without... to talk him out of it...
And Kamui had no one left...
You let him die for you, because you wanted to live...
No one at all...
You let her die for you too... If it was to happen again, you'd probably let Subaru die in your place wouldn't you?
No ... he would never.
You want to live so badly, nothing else matters.
No ... never ... never ... never.
liar
"He had been so excited then, he had just finished his training as an onmyouji and wanted to come to Tokyo. He had never been to Tokyo before, to him it was a brilliant city. I of course thought it was a good idea, he would become the 13th head so early--"
"Why?" Kamui asked.
"Why what?"
"Does a new clan head usually succeed at 15?"
She thought about this question for a longer time than was needed just to answer it. Her eyes were sad and carried almost ... shame. It was such a strange thing to see on the face of the woman. Kamui seemed to know that it was a death filled with regret that painted that look. After all, it had at one point been his own, and perhaps would be again soon.
"No..." she admitted. "It was quiet unorthodox."
"Then why?"
"It wasn't my choice to train him so early, I thought he should have a normal life ... perhaps that's a part of the reason I sent him to Tokyo again. But one can only win so many fights with the inner structure of the clan. And they were eager and greedy. The world was different then, as I'm sure you know. Things were changing.
"And when things change, those holding power get nervous. And the Sumeragi clan, as we are responsible for helping to secure those in power, bears the stress of it along with ... others ..."
"Like Hinoto-san?"
She frowned, deep and filled with as much malice as an old heart could possibly carry. "Yes, exactly. Pressure makes people impatient. So he was trained way too early, to replace me. Although perhaps it was the wisest course after all, since by the time he assumed the title I had lost use of my legs." Lady Sumeragi looked down at him then, meeting his stare evenly. It was hard from years and years of being strong and it made him as nervous now as it had when he first saw her.
But it was a kind sort of sternness ... and awkward in that way. It wasn't arrogant or cruel or repressed.
The blackness rustled around them, and was chipped away slowly by a scene of color moving upon them ... filling everything quickly so they were trapped in a moment that had long ago become the past. Despite the rather unnerving nature of such experiences Kamui had long gotten used to being pulled into and consumed by the past in such a manner. The world would start off as the barest hints of color and shape in the blackness, then before it could be stopped it would be all around him.
The past looked very much like standing in the present would. Except he could only watch as memories played out, actors unaware of his presence as they spun out hopelessly a course that had already been determined. Because it had already happened long ago.
"I thought it was a good idea to take him to Tokyo with me. He would be the clan head one day too soon, it was probably for the best that he see the kind of responsibilities that he would have early on."
Kamui recognized this place. They were standing in the middle of the Diet building. A long elegant hallway stretched out in front of them, snuggled away from the tourist friendly areas of the Diet, where officials both elected and otherwise roamed about in privacy.
An older woman and an eight year old child were coming down the hallway. The child was conversing happily about something Kamui couldn't quite discern, the woman smiling and nodding, occasionally making a comment or two to the child's eager questions. Both wore beautiful white robes with deep royal blue trim.
"Obaachan I've never seen an office that big!" the boy chirped. "And the chairs were so soft!!"
"Aa, he's a very important man Subaru-san," she smiled lightly. "When you're clan head, you'll get to meet many important people."
"Will they all have offices like that?"
"They may ... some may have even bigger ones."
They walked out of the Diet and out onto the streets of Tokyo, Kamui followed not because he wanted to but because the world moved about as if he were walking after them without him taking a single step.
The day was bright and brilliant. Clear blue skies were a growing rarity in Tokyo, and that day had been unusual in this way ... or perhaps that was just the memory of it ... everything was sharp and clear, colors as vivid as watercolor paintings. They walked carefully down the stone steps-- she cautious with age, him with awe. Subaru walked with his eyes running up the building fronts, basking in the wonderment of this metal canyon called Tokyo. Everything was romantic and every building was declared the tallest one he had ever seen.
"Sumeragi-sama!!"
They stopped half way down the steps, she turned-- obedient white hair sliding off her shoulder-- as a clerk came running after them.
Had she forgotten something? No ... this man did not work for their client. She did not recognize him specifically, but then clerks and interns came and went in the Diet system like fragile butterflies.
They waited for him to catch up.
"Princess Hinoto wanted a quick word with you before you left."
"Princess Hinoto?"
"If it wouldn't be a problem, it just a small matter. You could spare a few minutes."
Subaru eyes were curious, his smiled brightly as she bent down to his level. "Subaru-san, I'll be right back ... you can wait right here for a moment neh?"
He nodded enthusiastically, wanting desperately to show her that he too was responsible and trustworthy. "Hai Obaachan."
She smiled not quiet as merrily as he did. Time had taught her more simple, reserved smiles. "Now wait right there, don't wander off. I'll be right back."
Kamui watched as the world shifted back into the Diet building, down the long hallways, down into the depths of the basement where Japan's best kept secret was waiting.
Lady Sumeragi
Kamui had never been able to determine Hinoto's exact age for sure. He had assumed that she could not possibly that old since her sister was still young herself. But then, she could not be nearly as young as she appeared to be either, if she had advised in the design of Clamp Campus. It was a riddle that he had not amused himself very often, more pressing conflicts always on his mind by the time he had met Princess Hinoto. However, now that his thoughts were not weight by so much angst he found it extremely odd that she should appear as she did.
She seemed only a bit younger than Kamui remembered her to be, which made little sense since this was a significant amount of time in the past. It was said she didn't show her true age, but this was ridiculous.
Thank you for coming
The small matter turned out to be about the coming of the end of the world. Only Hinoto would consider this a small matter that could be discussed in spare minutes.
Kamui fiddled idly with wooden shade hanging from the little box where Hinoto was put on display. Even now he wondered how much of what had happened to them was "destiny" and how much her manipulation. Even now he wonder what her true dreams had shown her.
Lady Sumeragi began to leave after much agreeable conversation, probably about the Sumeragi family spreading the word about destiny's approach ... Kamui hadn't really been listening much.
Lady Sumeragi
She turned only slightly, she was eager to get back. Subaru was only 8 and despite being very honest and having good instincts about him, he was also very trusting. Far too trusting. "Yes?"
Your Grandson ... is he well?
"Yes, he's very energetic lately," she smiled politely, perhaps sensing that it was a rather odd question to ask under the circumstances. Perhaps because she had two grandchildren.
Oh that's good. I won't keep you any longer she bowed her head. Thank you for your time.
"A dreamgazer is a rather wretched existence,"
Suddenly beside him again, the world fading to black once more, her voice startled him out of his thoughts. "I suppose so. Even when we knew for sure, I couldn't really hate her for what she did."
"A dreamgazer doesn't see how something happens, just that it does. And they are foolish to believe that they are not influencing the future just by being dreamgazers. A dreamgazer can't see what's really important when it comes to destiny, so they always live in doubt ... can the future be changed? Or do the visions they see already factor in what they will inevitably do to try to change the future?"
"Don't you feel sorry for her though?"
"No, not at all. It's horrible that she was enslaved here. But dreamgazing is a personal art, serves her right for trying to make it a public concern."
"Don't push your silly future on me you crippled bint," Kamui almost laughed. He turned to ask her something, only to find that he was once again outside the Diet building.
"Subaru-san?"
He spotted her again on the steps of the Diet, not far from where he was, her young Grandson was nowhere to be seen.
"Figures," Kamui sighed.
She looked around quickly, deep seated panic settling coldly in her veins. She hadn't been gone long at all. And Subaru was no ordinary child, he could defend himself from most people who would have liked to prey on such a young pretty child.
Most people...
He was not far though, standing under the shade of a large sakura tree that she had not remembered being there before. It was of no concern though, there were sakura all over Tokyo, all in full bloom in the warm spring air. And it had to be rough standing in the uncannily hot air of late spring under all those robes.
"Subaru-san," she was overjoyed. There he was, unharmed. Looking a little sullen, but he was probably just tired. She allowed herself to let her quiet reserve and composure slip with relief and embraced him, something she rarely did.
Only then did she notice there were drops of blood on his shikifuku.
Fragile pink petals floated by, coupled with ones of deeper, richer, stains. They danced tauntingly in the air, although she hardly noticed them as Subaru held up his hands almost in trance.
The sakura blew away like so many spring petals, leaving nothing but the empty lot where it had never stood in the first place.
"No..."
By early October, Kamui was learning to walk again. It was not a fun experience, but for the first time he was thankful Shigure had convinced him to work on his upperbody strength. After a few steps, Kamui was leaning heavily on the railings. Somehow he didn't remember this being so hard the first time he'd learned it.
"That's excellent," his therapist commended, not insulting or demeaningly cheerful. More of an honest optimism that didn't overstate his accomplishment. "And if you stop pushing yourself so hard, it will come easier and faster."
"Easy for you to say Mr Walkie-walkie."
The ancient wheelchair had not been put into retirement just yet, he could stand up now and walk. But a few steps tired him out quickly, and Shigure had encouraged him not to push himself by trying to walk outside of therapy. Soon, he assured Kamui, it would be okay for him to use the wheelchair at his own digression. Soon but not yet.
And he thought, that was okay ... he had made quite a nuisance of himself, wheeling around the compound...
Getting stuck on the grass...
Having to scream until someone came to help him out...
It was very amusing. And if it his mind was not so determined to lock itself into a web of guilt and horror, he might have made use of the sport of obnoxious, embittered patient. But...
Even being a brat could not keep him distracted for very long.
Could it really all be in the past now? Could it really all be buried under 9 years of history?
He could not bare to look at himself anymore. Not with seeing his mother and all those who died for him ... perhaps even because of him. What would they think if they saw him now? What would they think as they were watching down from above?
Could not escape their eyes...
Could not escape the guilt...
They had died for what?
A person such as him, what made him worth dying for?
What made him worth anything?
That he should lose them?
"What am I doing here?" Kamui murmured.
Shigure looked momentarily confused, "learning to walk, Shirou-san."
"No ... that's not what I meant."
"If you're suffering from post traumatic depression, it perfectly normal Shirou-san."
"I'm just wondering where my place is now..."
Too many lives sacrificed for something futile. Born with no future beyond what was immediate
You wouldn't understand...
I didn't live a normal life.
I didn't get to have that. I never had a hope of what my future outside of the Promise Day might be. Everyone else had plans, people they wanted to become, families they hoped to have, things they wanted to own, titles they wanted to earn. I had nothing. Nothing accept the dumb instinct to run away from it all.
But to where...?
To whom...?
Nothing. I was born for a reason, and now that reason is dead and gone.
So ... why aren't I?
"I want you to kill me."
Kamui said it with fierce conviction, purple eyes blazing like dark black orbs and face frozen coldly in his demand. He had Subaru's hand pressed into his chest, his heart beating calmly below his breast bone, lips drawn in a tight frown.
Subaru laughed, he wondered how long Kamui had been rehearsing that.
Kamui blinked in surprise but did not falter, nor did he let go of Subaru's hand. "I'm serious."
"I know," Subaru smiled. "What changed your mind? I thought you wanted to get out of here as soon as possible."
"Does it matter?"
He was getting defensive already Subaru noted ... Interesting.
"Curious," Subaru shrugged.
"Well don't be, my life is worthless ... and it's only now that I realize I have no where to go, no where that I want to be, and nothing to do with myself."
"So you'll just throw your life away then?"
"Does it matter?" Kamui repeated. Subaru was not stupid, he knew what Kamui wanted ... after all it was essentially Subaru's wish thrown back at him. To be killed by the one you love. A love linked to hope and to the delusions of that hope ... that maybe kindness meant love in return. To know once and for all that the person you loved did not love you in return and to resign yourself to die in peace having the answer.
A wish for closure, that the mind may not keep wondering and never know for sure.
He had invented this desire, of course he understood it. It was true Kamui had nothing, and it appeared it was also true that the only thing grounding him in this world was one very cruel uncertainty.
Subaru seemed to consider Kamui's request for a moment before slipping his hand out of Kamui's hold and flippantly replying, "No thanks."
It was a deliberately cruel thing to do, a rejection ... but yet one that might carry implications with it. And to leave Kamui to wonder that for the rest of his life. Whether Subaru didn't kill him because he didn't care, or because he did.
It was Subaru's way of punishing him for trying to appeal to a bitter sympathy he had rooted in the past and left behind him. Kamui should have known better than that.
He heard Kamui sag and fall to his knees with an unceremonious thup and when he looked over his shoulder curiously and found a tearless Kamui, staring down at the floor. "Why?" Kamui asked, his voice cracked and weak. "Why not? I don't mean anything to you ... why won't you just admit that?"
Subaru didn't want to kill Kamui, if for no reason than he had no reason to. And what was the point in senseless killing? The Sakura consumed everything from his kill, mind, body, spirit ... nothing was wasted. But the Sakura was not here, and even if she were she was sated and content. What reason would he have to kill?
"Being apathetic to murder doesn't mean you just go around doing it."
He intended to walk away, and just leave it at that. But Kamui had been unrulingly stubborn once, and perhaps he was still. He stopped himself midstride and added, "There's nothing I can do to dispel something you want to believe."
Kamui looked up, eyes a naked bright violet again, hurt and trembling as his hands made fists from fingers and his breath came out hopeless and lost. "It's the only thing I have left to believe, I don't like it anymore than you do. The Promise Day gave me answers to everything but this ... this is the only question I have left to believe in. So show me it's true and let me go."
Yes, his mind had been preserved after all these years. The coma had not changed his personality or bent his spirit in the slightest. It was if he had merely fallen asleep and been shipped 9 years into the future. He was stubborn, heartbreak would not even slow him from pursuing whatever he foolishly thought he desired. In anyone else this might have been a successfully quality, if not the tadest bit rash. But in Kamui it was anything but.
Viciously self destructive.
He wouldn't stop. He wouldn't give up. Not until he had earned what he thought he wanted without every realizing why he would want such a thing.
Subaru turned around and walked toward Kamui until he could kneel in front of him. "Okay ... let's make a deal."
He was cruel, voice soft and tender-- a hint at loving-- in contrast to what he was agreeing to. Death would be delivered with love, life delivered with contempt ... Kamui would not get the closure he wanted.
"A deal?"
Wide eyed and innocent, perhaps typical of a mind much younger than its body. A mind that was still 16 and had not realized that it was not supposed to be by now.
"Yes, if your life is so worthless you would rather throw it away ... then give it to me."
... confusion... Kamui fell back onto his calves and stared blankly at Subaru. "Wha-- I don't understand."
"6 months," Subaru answered.
"6 months," Kamui repeated.
"You live as I wish you to for 6 months, at the end of that time I will kill you."
He stared, he stared for a long, long, time. Into the deep clear depths-- part green, part gold-- of the eyes looking back at him with perfect sincerity. Gently, softly, but absolutely serious. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what to think ... Of all the things he was expecting might happen when he comforted Subaru ... this was not one of them.
Subaru would kill him.
Subaru would definitely kill him.
But before he did he had to live six months.
Just six months more.
"Does... Does that mean I have to do whatever you tell me to?"
"Yes," Subaru replied evenly. "But this shouldn't be a problem since your life has no meaning to you anyway."
"What will you ask me to do?" Kamui seemed about as innocent as one could possibly get, the facade had melted off him and left nothing but this lost child on the floor.
"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it."
"Would you--" his voice got quiet, timid, almost frightened. In fact he looked frightened, and Subaru wondered whether Kamui was really scared of him or the idea of being at his mercy. "Would you make me kill people?"
The question surprised Subaru so much he laughed, despite he knowing that laughing was probably not the best response. "I hardly think that's very practical."
"That's a 'no'?"
"That's a 'I don't imagine so'."
"Oh..."
"What's the matter Kamui? You said so yourself, your life is worthless. If you truly believe that ... prove it. You may consider yourself dead already if you want to. That's what you're telling me you want isn't it? No wants and desires of your own, no hopes, no feelings, no responsibilities, no decisions to make, nothing to wonder about. That is what you want?"
Kamui looked back at the floor and nodded silently.
"Then let your heart die today and be mine."
He looked up with sad doe eyes and Subaru suppressed that urge to laugh once again.
"Now don't get melodramatic on me Kamui."
And then it was agreed. Six months' time, and he had an appointment with death.
Subaru rose and walked over to the small dresser that sat in Kamui's room, over the years the spare rooms in the Sumeragi main house had been used as storage. They didn't have many guests anymore, not nearly as many as when his Grandfather had been alive ... but then that had been before he had been born. The dresser and part of the closet in Kamui's room were filled with odds and ends, both spiritual and secular.
He found something that would do nicely. It wasn't what he had been looking for, but it might be even better.
"In 6 months you'll kill me..." Kamui breathed. "Why? Why not now?"
He wiped a little dust from the bottle and squinted at the label. Yes ... this would work just fine.
"Because, I hate wasting things. And contrary to your belief you are a perfectly good human being, there must be some use for you. If you wanted to die you shouldn't have woken up in the first place."
He dipped his finger lightly in the oil and took Kamui's arm by the wrist, moving to mark it. He paused, and decided against this, turning Kamui's hand so that the palm was face up ... as to avoid making the situation too ironic. He traced a symbol out on the flesh.
It was not a star.
"What are you doing?"
Then he did the same on the other palm.
"I'm killing you."
"But I thought..."
"Symbolically Kamui ... symbolically."
"Oh.."
And on his forehead lightly with oil. It was not the same as burning it in or doing it in blood as it had been done for him ... but it served its purpose.
"There, you're dead."
"...I don't feel any different, are you sure it worked?"
"I told you, symbolically. It seals our agreement and nothing more."
"Oh..."
"Were you expecting something else?"
"I thought you might turn me into a mindless zombie or something."
"...you watch too much TV Kamui."
There was a soft moment a silence, where Kamui stared blankly at Subaru ... as if expecting something. As if waiting for something...
"Well?" he asked.
Abruptly Subaru realized what he was getting at. "Oh right," he chuckled. "Well let's see..." His eyes scanned the room for a moment, landing upon a broom shoved into the corner and long forgotten. He picked it up and handed it to Kamui. "Go sweep the practice room."
Kamui blinked, "What?"
"You heard me."
He frowned, "I thought that when you said I'd have to do what you told me to ... you meant something important."
Subaru shrugged as he left, "this is important, the practice room is a mess."
Kamui stared down dumbly at the broom in his hands. Wondering softly what he had gotten himself into.
