The Tragedy of Romiet and Juleo

(Author's Note: They say that Romeo and Juliet was just fiction. Well, all right, maybe parts of it are, but the truth is Shakespeare actually based his play loosely, I repeat: LOOSELY, on a true story. This is that true story: the story of Romiet and Juleo.)

(Another Author's Note: We forgot to mention this is NOT written in that awfully hard to understand Shakespearean language. You should thank us!)

(One More Author's Note: We promise this is the last one! We just had to warn you there are quite a few things in this story that are incredibly weird because we are just naturally strange people with very weird ideas. Ok, on to the play.)

(Just One More...just kidding!)

Characters In Shakespeare's Play: Actual True Characters:

Juliet Capulet Romiet Montalet

Romeo Montague Juleo Capugue

Friar Laurance Liar Fraurance

Nurse Merse

Mercutio Nurcutio

Tybalt Tyvolio

Benvolio Benbalt

Balthazar Palthazar

Paris Baris

Prince of Italy Pritaly of Itince

Setting: Verantua and Manrona, near the court of the Pritaly of Itince. (Not in Verona and Mantua like in Shakespeare's version.)

Act I

Scene I (Set in the house of Lord and Lady Capugue in Verantua.)

Lord Capugue: Where is our dear son Juleo?

Lady Capugue: I don't know. He's been so depressed lately since he didn't get that job at The Rusty Barstool (a.k.a. Taco Bell). Although our family is FILTHY rich, he wishes to mock the poor people.

Enter Juleo (Too bad he isn't Mexican; his name could be Juleo - pronounced with an "H" instead of "J".) who is in a terribly bad mood.

Juleo: Darn Mexicans! They wouldn't hire me unless my name was Juleo!

Lady Capugue: Calm down sweetie pie.

Juleo: Don't call me that! Call me Juleo, master of Taco Bell. (Aside: Today Taco Bell; tomorrow the world!)

Lady Capugue: We will leave alone for a few minutes, honey bunches of oats.

Juleo: (Interrupting his mother) I said Juleo!!!

Lady Capugue: Whatever you say, princess.

Juleo: AHHHHHH!!!!!

Lord Capugue: We brought a visitor to cheer you up. He'll be in shortly.

(Exit Lord and Lady Capugue.)

Juleo: I will have my revenge on you Taco Bell! You will see; you will pay. I like fire, very large destructive fire!

(Enter Liar Fraurance.) (He is a pathological liar. He MUST lie! If he does not lie every few moments his head hurts to the point that it threatens to implode upon itself. Wow, that sounds weird doesn't it, but you get what we mean!)

(To be continued. Next time in The Tragedy of Romiet and Juleo: How much could Liar Fraurance possibly lie in one scene? Will his head really explode if he doesn't lie? How many other childish names will Lady Capugue call her son? And will Juleo ever get his revenge on Taco Bell?)