Act 3
Scene 1 (Fortunately, my mother did not get a hold of this scene.) (Set in the Montalet house the day before Romiet must meet Juleo in the parking lot of Taco Bell.)
(Romiet enters and decides to go feed her wild, gargantuan, lovesick, ovoviviparous (just look it up in the dictionary because I can tell by the utterly confused, wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression on your face that you obviously have no idea what this word means) swangoose (half swan, half mongoose), Frito (a.k.a. Baris, who was in love with Romiet). But what she doesn't know is that Frito has escaped from his straight-jacket and not had his daily tranquilizer and has stolen the priceless family harpoon.)
Romiet: Here Frito! Where are you?
(Swangoose creeps up from behind with deadly precious family heirloom harpoon.)
Romiet: Here swangoosey, goosey, goosey.
Frito (or Baris): Oh my dear Romiet! I have waited so long to tell you this: I love you with all my little swangoose heart. Will you marry me?
Romiet: Are you crazy?! You're a swangoose!
Frito: Fine! Then I guess you are just going to have to die!
(Frito jabs her in the hair with priceless family heirloom harpoon.)
(What she doesn't know is that the harpoon has a magical power that makes people named Romiet insane when stabbed in the hair with it.)
Frito: Bwahahahaha!!! Now she will be crazy forever and I will be the real Slim Shady!!!
(Romiet runs out of room while claiming she is Princess Swangoosygoosygossy, chief of the Goosey Goosey Gangsta Tribe in Chicago.)
(To be continued. Next time in Romiet and Juleo: How will Romiet react to Juleo and Taco Bell now that she is crazy? Will Frito ever find his true love without having his tranquilizers? Will you ever find out what ovoviviparous means? And will the Goosey Goosey Gangsta Tribe be offended by Romiet's outrageous claims?)
