A/N- I *have* to thank the people that reviewed after I posted chapter 13.
That was Mrs O-Town, Peyton the Perfecto, Misskitiefantastico, Mena-Nel and
the sweet anonymous rose. You guys made this chapter worth writing, so I
dedicate it to you. ^_^ And to those that didn't review it, u had better
grovel to these guys 'cos they're the people that kept me going after the
fluffiness that was chapter 13 (I promise it'll get better. I really do.)
^_^
You gotta tell me if this thing is going down hill.you really, really do. I don't want to see myself sitting here at my computer typing like a mad- woman when nobody actually cares what happens to the characters or not. If you have a suggestion email me at either one of my addresses or post a review. I will get back to you if u want so leave an address on your review and if you want to hear from me. That's my new policy. 'Get to know your audience.' What do ya think?
Explanation to this chapter 'cos it may get confusing- Okay.well.here goes. We all know that WITW hasn't happened yet on the Ats front.but my timelines have jumped around a lot so I don't know exactly where I am on that. I think it's around the ep. where Buffy tells Tara about her and Spike. I know.its not exactly sticking by their timelines.but I can't help it. ^_^ Hmm.Not that it makes much difference.but I thought you should know where I stand mentally.or rather where the characters stand. Anywho.I'll let you get reading before the Authors Note becomes longer than the chapter. Lol.
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This has been the longest 3 minutes of my life. Angel is still standing to my side, looking like a deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming car, Willow is looking extremely sheepish, Gunn and Fred are twiddling their thumbs and staring around aimlessly and the scoobies are looking ultimately confused. Cordy went upstairs with Angel to help with Connor before.but she hasn't come back down yet. Lorne and Wes aren't here at the moment.though, I don't know where they've gotten to. I think they each had some business to attend to. The atmosphere at the moment is awkward to say the least.
"So Angel.I've gotta head back to my place." Cordy rambles, walking down the stairs behind us. Oblivious to the situation at hand, she's staring down at a stain on her blouse and isn't paying attention to the crowd of people staring at her. "I need to get a change of clothes 'cos spit up doesn't seem to wanna come out of this outfit and as much as I love the little.Buffy?" She comes to a dead stop as she finally surveys the scene. "Not that I'm not glad to see you.'cos I am.its just.I thought you were coming tomorrow." She smiles uneasily when Angel and I both glare at her. "And now I have a feeling I'm in trouble."
"And *I* have a feeling you and Willow have some explaining to do." Angel prompts, then pauses. "Great.I'm starting to treat everyone as if they were a teenager under my watch." He looks at me and smiles. "I wonder who's influence brought that on?"
I shrug and innocently add. "I wonder? Ooh.I know! Maybe it's a spell of some sort." I grin mischievously.
He shakes his head and reaches for one of the pillows on the couch, tossing it at me. "Wise ass."
I raise my eyebrows and feign shock. "Angel!" I exclaim playfully. "Watch the language. There are children present."
"I resent that." Dawn pouts. I almost forgot that she was even here. I'm not exactly the biggest Dawn fan.quite the opposite really. Yet, I'll play nice.or I'll *try* to play nice. After all, the scoobies seem to like her. And Spike is supposedly attached to her as well. I don't want to get on his bad side. I kinda like Spike. What is it with the slayer's Vampires and me?
I turn back to the 15 year old and smile brightly. "Aww.come on. I didn't necessarily mean you. I coulda meant me."
"But then, 'cos I'm younger, you also include me. And I'm no child." She argues.
Defiant little bugger. "I know that. But it's fun to play the kid card sometimes. Like with Angel." I motion towards where the Vamp was standing, but find that he's no longer there. In fact, Cordy and Will have gone too. Uh-oh. I'd hate to be there for *that* conversation. Poor Angel. How's he gonna tell Buffy and the scoobies about Connor? Willow didn't exactly take it well at first, and this is *Willow* we're talking about. She who is placid. Buffy, on the other hand, has violent tendencies *and* she's used to being the love of his unlife. Finding out about Connor is one thing.but the Darla part? I don't exactly want to witness that scene either.
"Speaking of the poof."
I can't help laughing as I look back to Spike. He's such a cutie. 'Big Bad' my butt. He's too adorable. Especially when his hair is left with the little bleached ringlets instead of gelled back.and those big blue eyes.
Do you know the worst part of this? If you asked me to choose between Spike and Angel, I couldn't do it. I really couldn't. Even though I'm beginning to crush on Gunn, those two are still my favourites.and I can't choose! Yet its also kinda weird 'cos.y'know.Both vampires? Both fell for the Slayer? My God I need help! Yet.I can't help it.they're both soo.adorable.
I shake the thoughts from my head. "Yeah?"
"What *was* that whole scene with red and the cheerleader about? Y'know? He's tryin' to hide somethin'. And nancy boy never hides anythin' unless its damaging to his reputation." I'm captivated as his eyes gleam, suddenly full of intrigue and suspicion. "What's he got hidden that he don't want us to know about?"
"Huh?" I shake myself back into this reality yet again. "Oh.right.Nope. Sorry. That's his job. If I slip up and tell you.or Buffy, rather.Well, you know the saying *don't shoot the messenger*?" The group nod in unison. "I don't see you paying any attention to it."
Buffy looks a little worried. "That bad, huh?"
"Bad? No. At least I don't think so." I give her a small smile. "Unexpected and kinda weird to the point of pointy wooden objects? Yes."
"Oh." Is all the slayer can say, walking over to the couch and dropping onto it.
And then the awkward silence is back. I sigh. This is gonna be a long night. A few second later, Xander raises his hand, reminding me of the countless times he'd done so in the middle of a scooby meeting on Btvs.
"I have a question." He states. The rest of us look at him. His face is contorted with confusion. "Before.when you said you liked to play the kid card."
The question is obviously directed to me. Damn it. I don't like all the attention. *I'm* the viewer. *I'm* the audience. *I'm* the fan. Therefore, *I* should be the one asking questions.
I nod a little uneasily. "Yeah?"
"Well.you were gonna say something about playing around with Angel.and last time I checked, dead boy was all broody. But here you are and you were actually *joking* with him and he was *laughing*." He rambles in disbelief. "Does anybody else find that very, very disturbing?"
"Come to think of it.yeah." Buffy tunes in. "What's up with that?"
Damn you Xander. Damn you. I swallow and shrug. "I.er.interesting character reconstruction?" I suggest optimistically.
They don't buy it. Not even for a split second.
"You *know* everything, don't you? Why he's acting like this. Everything he's hiding. You *know*." Buffy states accusingly.
I allow my eyes to widen slightly and put my hands up in surrender. "Hey.whoa.back up. Time out, even. I never said I didn't.I mean.I may know some things.but that alone doesn't give me the right to tell everyone. Angel's character on TV has seemingly gone through a complete reconstruction.that's all I can tell you. In fact.every single character on either show has." I look at each one of them, my eyes lingering on Spike and then Buffy. Oh yeah. I have read those spoilers. "The change in Angel's behaviour and lifestyle may seem pretty drastic to you guys.but think about what your own seems like." Phew! Got that out of my system.
"But still.if there's something you're not telling us-"The slayer begins again.
I cut her short. "I'm a bystander. I'm pretty sure that my being here has altered a lot of what was intended for your futures, but I don't want to say anything that could make it worse. And even if I could.don't you think I might have certain.uh.*issues* that Angel might need to know about you, that you haven't told him?" Great. Now I'm blackmailing a vampire slayer. I'm not half stupid am I?
She falters a little. "Is that a threat?"
"No." I reply. "I didn't mean for it to sound like-"
"G-guys," Tara breaks in. "Please don't argue." She's obviously still a little uncomfortable with stating her opinion, even though her character has supposedly become quite confident. "I-its not going to help anyone."
I smile back gratefully. "I know." I turn back to the still pretty pissed off slayer. "And I'm sorry.its just.I'm a little on the defensive here. I mean. I feel really weird being a part of all this y'know. From what I've seen of all of your lives.and from what I've heard in spoilers.I just feel like I know you all personally and.I can't explain it. But I don't want you guys to go away from this thinking that I'm some stupid bitch or whatever.'cos I like you all too much." I stop to take a deep breath and think about what I've just said. I sigh and chuckle at myself. "I did it again. Why is it that when I'm around you people I can't for the life of me make sense when I try to make my point?"
Gunn laughs. " 'Cos you love us too much. It messes up your trail of thought."
I roll my eyes, blushing ever so slightly. "Get over it."
"Oh.so you had a crush on Gunn?" Anya half asks-half states, misinterpreting our conversation. "That does make perfect sense because he has a nice, manly physique. Very attractive. But I don't like him that way because I love Xander." She squeezes her man tightly and I want to break into fits of laughter.
"Thanks An. I'm totally convinced you don't think of anyone else other than me now." He replies sarcastically.
I struggle to gather my composure. Once completed I realise that Anya still believes that I have this big thing for Gunn, which.okay I'm starting to.but that's just the damn teenager hormones talking. "Actually.I hate to say it.but Gunn's not really the Ats character that got the most drool points."
Her eyes widen. "Really.then who?"
I try not to look anyone in the eye, 'cos I kinda have a feeling the reaction isn't gonna be that good. "Well.on the show.I *kinda* had a thing for 'Tall dark and broody'." I admit.
A snort of laughter erupts from the brunette teenager that I'm not exactly a fan of. "You've got a thing for *Angel*?" She asks in disbelief. "That's so.funny."
"I *had* a thing for Angel.and not a major thing 'cos.hello, TV show. But.yeah.I kinda dig him.or dug him, rather. And the actor in reality.*my* reality." I sigh dramatically. ".That 'aint bad either."
She scrunches up her nose. "I don't get it. He's like.way old. And I'm still betting the actor is a lot older than you too."
I smile. "Yeah.and kinda over the other side of the planet from where I live. And he's slightly married.with a baby on the way.or.by your timeline.with a baby already in existence." I chuckle. "A girl can dream though.Right?"
Dawn smiles back and I know we've reached an agreement. "Yeah.I guess a girl can dream." She tells me. "No matter what her twisted tastes are."
I have to bite my tongue at that. I mean.she's the one that had a crush on Xander.and then Spike. Mmmm..Spike. See why I had to bite my tongue?
Meanwhile the others haven't exactly said anything about my liking Angel, so I might have just gotten away with it. Though, considering the clichés of this TV reality, I doubt it. Especially now that I've thought about getting away with it. Someone's bound to say something right about.
"So.you think Angel's a hottie then?"
Now.
I turn to face Buffy. "Umm.is there any way I can answer that *without* sounding pathetic?" She shakes her head and I laugh. "I didn't think so.and the answer? Yeah. You should be able to understand why." She nods with a small smile, and I watch as Spike scowls. Ooops.didn't mean to say that. Time to bring the conversation back to embarrassing me. "So.with this thing for the guy.You can imagine my reaction waking up here and seeing him. I swear to the PTBs it was funny." I pause for a beat. " Well.in hindsight it was funny."
"And your teleporting." Gunn adds.not very helpfully. "Don't forget that!"
"Believe me." I manage through clenched teeth. "I don't think I ever will... EVER."
"You teleport?" Xander asks. I nod. "Cool."
"Very. And I might even be able to keep the ability once I'm at home." I add. "So extra cool points for that."
Anya clears her throat. "What does your teleporting have to do with Angel? And why is it funny?"
I wince. I didn't want to have to go there. But I knew it was coming. After all.TV land and its endless clichés. "Umm.it's a long story."
"Its okay.we're planning on staying for a bit. Now.continue with the funny Angel teleporting story." She insists.
I look around at everyone for some sort of escape route.but I don't get one. Everyone is looking at me.awaiting the humiliating tale. I take a deep breath. "Well.I was being attacked by this bad guy in my room. And he had pinned me on my bed.magickally.and was starting to undress me and.well.you get the point." They all nod and I begrudgingly continue. "So I'm lying there half naked underneath this guy and I resort to the last thing possible to escape. I choose to orb the hell out of there. So I get myself all concentrating-like, and I end up orbing into Angel's room." Gunn clears his throat. "Okay.okay." I state. "I end up orbing into Angel's bed." Again he clears his throat. "Where he is sleeping." Another pointed cough. from Gunn, (who, I decide, is gonna be a very dead Gunn in a minute.) "I end up orbing right underneath him as a matter of fact. While he's in his boxers and I'm practically just in a bra and panties." Everyone either laughs or breaks into a huge grin. "It was *very* embarrassing.considering he knew about my crush and all.But I thought we could let it go."
"Are you kidding?" Xander chuckles. "You don't leave something like that alone. *Especially* when it involves a compromising position for Dead Boy. It's always good to get a few cheap laughs out of him. Believe me.in the line of work we're in.You hafta milk stuff like that for all its worth."
"Amen to that." Gunn replies, giving the Xand Man a high five.
Well.seeing as I'm sticking with the clichés.I think its fair to say this can't get much worse. No wait.on second thoughts.I take that back. I didn't think that 'cos there is *always* something worse after someone says 'This can't get much worse.' Grr.me and my stupid thoughts.and these damn idiosyncrasies! Again, I prepare myself for the next problem to hit.
"What about in Sunnydale?" Tara asks suddenly. "Do you like anyone from there?"
Bingo. More cringing up ahead. "I.er.Oh is that the time?" (I've just looked at a non-existent watch on my wrist.) "Well.I gotta go. I've got this appointment to be swallowed up by the earth any second now. Wouldn't want to be late. It was nice meeting you all.goodb-"
"Wait a second!" Anya exclaims. "You didn't answer the question. You can't leave for your appointment before you answer!"
"An." Xander says, shaking his head slightly. "There is no appointment."
She looks confused. "But why would she say there was an appointment if there was no appointment?"
He smiles and hugs her. "Because An, She's being all avoidy."
"Oh." She breaks into a smile. "I get it." She looks back at me and smiles. "I understand. You don't want to say because both the main men are standing right in front of you.and you might embarrass yourself." I nod and she continues. "But that's okay because we all embarrass ourselves all the time. You get used to the funny looks.Don't you, Xander?"
He cringes again, not exactly sure what to make of her last comment. "Uh.sure An."
I'm still trying to get out of answering the question. "Well." I state. "I." Wait a second! I found the Loophole! Always a loophole! I look to Tara. "You asked who I *like* from Sunnydale, right?" She nods. "Well.I can assure you that I like pretty much everyone." I look around at their faces. "Yup. You are all great characters.er.people. What's not to like?"
"That's not exactly what she meant." Dawn points out. 10 points to li'l miss 'state the obvious'. "She meant 'Who do you find crushworthy in Sunnydale?' That's if you do, of course."
I look at the only other teen in the hotel and smile. "I know that.but Xander was kinda right when he said I was being avoidy."
"Well." Dawn urges. "C'mon.I wanna know. Spill it. Dish. Who from.Hang on, what is our show called again?"
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Commonly referred to as 'Buffy' and Btvs." I reply.
"Wow! My sister has a TV show named after her." She says and I chuckle. Then she decides to get back to the point. "So.who from.Btvs?.well.who from our show do you find the most crushworthy?"
I realise how easy it would be to just lie and say that I don't really prize either guy over the other.but I can't lie. I don't lie. I've never deliberately lied to get myself out of a sticky situation. And I refuse to start now. But I can still try to dodge the subject. "I don't think it's really that important." I start. "I mean there's what. 2 guys on the show? Besides the nerd trio, I mean. And, more to the point, I don't think anyone else really cares."
"Oh.we care." Xander says eagerly. Anya shoots him a 'why do you need the teenage girl to approve of you?' kinda look, but nods in agreement all the same. I think she also needs to know that her fiancé is a prize possession and that people are jealous of what she has.
I look to Buffy and Tara and find that they are nodding and looking on expectantly as well. Gunn and Fred cock their heads to the side, also willing for me to continue.and Spike? His blue eyes gleam as he smirks at me and my legs almost turn to jelly.
He winks and says, "Actually.I'm a little curious on the topic myself..."
"Like you've even got a chance." Xander chides, only slightly playfully.
"Oh c'mon whelp!" Spike remarks. "There's no way the girl would fancy you over me."
"Is that so?" Comes the reply.
I look between the two and as Spike goes to reply I speak. "Okay! Break it up! I'll tell.But I wanted to ask whether other characters.like as of the past.can come into the equation?"
"No!" Xander and Spike reply unanimously.
The others shrug and Buffy says, "Yeah.if they were important characters to you."
Woohoo! "Well.first of all.between all the guys that have played important roles on Btvs.other than Angel." I grin, just to let them know I'm playing and Angel isn't really my favourite character...I don't really have a favourite. I'm still finding it hard to choose between Spike and Angel.then there's also.well.you get that I don't have a favourite, right? ".I'm gonna say Oz was a real cutie.he was an amazing character." I glance at Tara. "But he wasn't totally suited to Willow." She smiles gratefully. "That's why I still maintain he was meant for me." Everyone chuckles a bit and I move onto the answer I know is going to make all the difference here. "As for the remaining." I look at Xander then at Spike. "I'm gonna have to say that Spike is the guy."
Xander's jaw drops in shock. "What?"
"Believe me." I say.trying to soften the blow, keeping my gaze away from Spike. "I didn't wanna admit it at first.I mean it's kinda coming off that I have a thing for vampires.but that's not it. Spike and Angel.they're so different. Both unique. Both charming." Both drop dead gorgeous. "Back when Spike was the Big Bad.he still had this charisma and way about his character.but now as the almost-member of the scoobies that he is.he's even more unique. I don't know.it's just so hard to not fall for him."
Xander still looks flabbergasted. "But.Spike?!"
"Hey! He's not as bad as you make him out to be." I jump to the defensive, all the while looking at Buffy, knowing what she must be feeling at this moment. To see her best friend's reaction when it's a complete stranger admitting an attraction to Spike must be quite off-putting. A part of me wonders whether she'll ever be able to do the same thing and tell them all the truth. I think, at this point in time, Tara knows.but I can't be completely sure. Anyway.I've got some Spike defending to do. "I don't know how much you really know about him Xander.but 'Captain Peroxide' is a great guy on the show.in your reality. He's not evil anymore.although I'm sure he'd happily argue with me on that.the truth is he's a good guy now.a different breed of good guy.really unconventional.but he's this amazing character. Always with the jokes and the quips and the cute little smirks." I trail of and cringe in embarrassment. "I didn't say that last part aloud, did I?"
Spike chuckles cockily. "'Fraid you did, pet."
I look at him and laugh. "Well.you called me 'pet' so at least I'll walk away from this thinking. 'Hah! Spike called me pet' and not 'my god.the embarrassing things I said around everyone.'"
"What embarrassing things have you said or done now?" Angel asks, re- entering the room, Cordy and Willow in tow.
I shrug. "Nothing. The usual."
He arches an eyebrow, slightly intrigued. "See.your standard of usual consists of teleporting to unconventional places." I redden and he smirks. "So.I'm a little worried when you say 'the usual'." He looks around at the others, now relaxed in the atmosphere. "Hey." He says. "Sorry I was a little inhospitable before. Its great to see you all. Really. I was just taken by surprise."
Buffy looks him up and down as if questioning his motifs. Satisfied he's telling the truth she walks up to him awkwardly. "Hey." She says.
"Hey." he replies.
"Ladies and Gentlemen.I give you 'the Buffy and Angel show'. Come witness the angst and the pain and the-"
"Cordy!" Angel scolds. I fight back my chuckle and watch as he turns back to Buffy. "So.how was the trip here?"
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After going through the pleasantries (yet again!) we're all scattered around the lobby. Some of us on the couches.others on the stairs. A couple of people are even seated on the reception desk. Wes and Lorne arrived back a little while ago and everyone's been getting re-acquainted since. But there's one thing I haven't seen happen yet.
Angel still hasn't told the Scoobies about Connor.
I'm currently in the middle of a discussion with Spike and Dawn who, once you get past the 5 year old tantrums and spoilt brat behavioural patterns, turns out to be quite fun to hang with. We're sitting on the steps and I keep looking over to Angel, trying to catch his gaze. I need to talk to him. Cliché number 3578; 'If you avoid telling someone something in TV land, they'll find out in the most obvious and uncomfortable way.' (Or something like that.You get the point by now.)
"Y'know.if you keep looking at him I'm gonna get the feelin' you find him more attractive than me." Spike jokes. Somewhere beneath the surface, though, is the truth of that statement. He's constantly walking in Angel's shadow. First with Dru.now Buffy. He's a totally different person, yet he can't seem to break away from Angel's precedents. Now is not the time for discussing this though.
Looking back at him I smile, "Now.you should know that's never gonna happen." I respond playfully.
"Spike has a point though." Dawn tells me. "You keep looking over at him. It's starting to get to creepy stalker status."
I hit her on the arm in mock offence. "Thanks." I say sarcastically, before sobering up. Gazing back in Angel's direction, I sigh. "Its just.I need to talk to him. He still hasn't told you guys and the later he leaves it the worse it'll get."
"Okay." Spike says. "Have you been talkin' to Dru lately, 'cos you're starting to sound like her. What with the riddles and all."
"Huh?" I respond, slightly puzzled. "Oh.right. I bet I haven't made any sense. Well.like I said before.it's not my place to tell. But, in answer to your question.I actually did get to spend a little quality time with your ex." I shudder at the recent events. "No offence.but I didn't really enjoy it."
His eyes widen. "You've met with Dru?"
"Met with.been ambushed by. It's all the same really." I state nonchalantly.
Dawn's eyes fly from me to Spike, and then back to me. "Wow.You really have been through a lot, huh?"
"She sure has." Angel's voice startles me and I jump. He laughs. "Finally.Mr Stealthy's back in action."
"Peaches!" Spike exclaims in mock disgust, all the while with his trademark smirk on his face. "What you and the cheerleader name things in the bedroom is all well an' good, but I don't think-"
"Spike!" I groan, cutting him off and trying not to laugh. "He *was* referring to his 'sneaking up on people' ability." I smirk and look up at the older vampire, then back to the other again. "But thanks to you, I don't think I'll be able to look at Angel the same way again." I shudder dramatically and he starts laughing. God I love that smile. I look back up at Angel and lose the smirk. "Sorry." Hey, what can I say? I warned you, in this land of worn-out standards I find that I *really* cannot choose between the two.I have this nagging urge to keep them both happy. And no! *Not* like that! (Geez.I leave my thoughts alone for *one* second and look where it gets me.)
He scowls a little, but lets that invisible smile creep onto his face to let me know he's only playing. I think he's actually amused as well. "Can I talk to you?" He asks seriously, after a few seconds.
"Sure." I reply and stand up. Turning to Spike and Dawn I say, "I'll be back in a few."
Angel leads me into his office and I wait for him to talk. Taking an unnecessary deep breath, he starts to speak. "I have to tell them." (And now may I introduce Mr. States the Obvious.) Nodding, I motion for him to continue. "But." He says, looking at the ground, ".I don't know how.or even what I'll tell them."
"Oh.gee.here's an idea.How about the truth?" I point out, kinda playfully so I don't come off too harsh.
He looks at me and his trademark brood sets in. "Its not that easy. Buffy and I.we have a history and-"
"And what? Just because she's your ex you have to tiptoe around absolutely everything?" I sigh when I realise that I shouldn't have snapped at him like that. "Angel." I state gently, "It'll only get worse if you leave it. She was bound to find out sooner or later, right? And later, as you find out in the land of clichés, is always a lot harder to handle for both parties."
His brow unwrinkles a little. "But it's so complicated."
"Yeah." I nod, "And it will only get even more complicated if you don't handle it now."
"I know." He responds, sinking into a chair. I sit down next to him and let him make his decision. After a minute he gets up and takes a nervous breath. Waiting at the door for me to join him, he smiles uncertainly. "Wish me luck."
I walk up to him and take his hand. I don't know why. I mean.here's this big, old vampire that spent half his existence terrorising everyone and everything in sight, and I have to take his hand as if he's a scared 5 year old on his first day at school. He looks down at me and smiles gratefully. I squeeze his hand supportively, whispering, "Good Luck."
As we walk back into the lobby, he clears his throat. "Guys." He begins. ".There's something you need to know."
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A/N- Just a short note. What did ya think? Too sappy? Yeah.I think it is as well.But I can't help it. It ended up being yet another character bonding/getting to know you kinda chapter. Review and/or email me. Thanks. Byes.
Oh.PS- Don't forget to read and review 'And the Plot Thickens' by me, and 'Drawn To You' by me and Mrs O-Town. Thanks again. I'm really going now. Ciao.
You gotta tell me if this thing is going down hill.you really, really do. I don't want to see myself sitting here at my computer typing like a mad- woman when nobody actually cares what happens to the characters or not. If you have a suggestion email me at either one of my addresses or post a review. I will get back to you if u want so leave an address on your review and if you want to hear from me. That's my new policy. 'Get to know your audience.' What do ya think?
Explanation to this chapter 'cos it may get confusing- Okay.well.here goes. We all know that WITW hasn't happened yet on the Ats front.but my timelines have jumped around a lot so I don't know exactly where I am on that. I think it's around the ep. where Buffy tells Tara about her and Spike. I know.its not exactly sticking by their timelines.but I can't help it. ^_^ Hmm.Not that it makes much difference.but I thought you should know where I stand mentally.or rather where the characters stand. Anywho.I'll let you get reading before the Authors Note becomes longer than the chapter. Lol.
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This has been the longest 3 minutes of my life. Angel is still standing to my side, looking like a deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming car, Willow is looking extremely sheepish, Gunn and Fred are twiddling their thumbs and staring around aimlessly and the scoobies are looking ultimately confused. Cordy went upstairs with Angel to help with Connor before.but she hasn't come back down yet. Lorne and Wes aren't here at the moment.though, I don't know where they've gotten to. I think they each had some business to attend to. The atmosphere at the moment is awkward to say the least.
"So Angel.I've gotta head back to my place." Cordy rambles, walking down the stairs behind us. Oblivious to the situation at hand, she's staring down at a stain on her blouse and isn't paying attention to the crowd of people staring at her. "I need to get a change of clothes 'cos spit up doesn't seem to wanna come out of this outfit and as much as I love the little.Buffy?" She comes to a dead stop as she finally surveys the scene. "Not that I'm not glad to see you.'cos I am.its just.I thought you were coming tomorrow." She smiles uneasily when Angel and I both glare at her. "And now I have a feeling I'm in trouble."
"And *I* have a feeling you and Willow have some explaining to do." Angel prompts, then pauses. "Great.I'm starting to treat everyone as if they were a teenager under my watch." He looks at me and smiles. "I wonder who's influence brought that on?"
I shrug and innocently add. "I wonder? Ooh.I know! Maybe it's a spell of some sort." I grin mischievously.
He shakes his head and reaches for one of the pillows on the couch, tossing it at me. "Wise ass."
I raise my eyebrows and feign shock. "Angel!" I exclaim playfully. "Watch the language. There are children present."
"I resent that." Dawn pouts. I almost forgot that she was even here. I'm not exactly the biggest Dawn fan.quite the opposite really. Yet, I'll play nice.or I'll *try* to play nice. After all, the scoobies seem to like her. And Spike is supposedly attached to her as well. I don't want to get on his bad side. I kinda like Spike. What is it with the slayer's Vampires and me?
I turn back to the 15 year old and smile brightly. "Aww.come on. I didn't necessarily mean you. I coulda meant me."
"But then, 'cos I'm younger, you also include me. And I'm no child." She argues.
Defiant little bugger. "I know that. But it's fun to play the kid card sometimes. Like with Angel." I motion towards where the Vamp was standing, but find that he's no longer there. In fact, Cordy and Will have gone too. Uh-oh. I'd hate to be there for *that* conversation. Poor Angel. How's he gonna tell Buffy and the scoobies about Connor? Willow didn't exactly take it well at first, and this is *Willow* we're talking about. She who is placid. Buffy, on the other hand, has violent tendencies *and* she's used to being the love of his unlife. Finding out about Connor is one thing.but the Darla part? I don't exactly want to witness that scene either.
"Speaking of the poof."
I can't help laughing as I look back to Spike. He's such a cutie. 'Big Bad' my butt. He's too adorable. Especially when his hair is left with the little bleached ringlets instead of gelled back.and those big blue eyes.
Do you know the worst part of this? If you asked me to choose between Spike and Angel, I couldn't do it. I really couldn't. Even though I'm beginning to crush on Gunn, those two are still my favourites.and I can't choose! Yet its also kinda weird 'cos.y'know.Both vampires? Both fell for the Slayer? My God I need help! Yet.I can't help it.they're both soo.adorable.
I shake the thoughts from my head. "Yeah?"
"What *was* that whole scene with red and the cheerleader about? Y'know? He's tryin' to hide somethin'. And nancy boy never hides anythin' unless its damaging to his reputation." I'm captivated as his eyes gleam, suddenly full of intrigue and suspicion. "What's he got hidden that he don't want us to know about?"
"Huh?" I shake myself back into this reality yet again. "Oh.right.Nope. Sorry. That's his job. If I slip up and tell you.or Buffy, rather.Well, you know the saying *don't shoot the messenger*?" The group nod in unison. "I don't see you paying any attention to it."
Buffy looks a little worried. "That bad, huh?"
"Bad? No. At least I don't think so." I give her a small smile. "Unexpected and kinda weird to the point of pointy wooden objects? Yes."
"Oh." Is all the slayer can say, walking over to the couch and dropping onto it.
And then the awkward silence is back. I sigh. This is gonna be a long night. A few second later, Xander raises his hand, reminding me of the countless times he'd done so in the middle of a scooby meeting on Btvs.
"I have a question." He states. The rest of us look at him. His face is contorted with confusion. "Before.when you said you liked to play the kid card."
The question is obviously directed to me. Damn it. I don't like all the attention. *I'm* the viewer. *I'm* the audience. *I'm* the fan. Therefore, *I* should be the one asking questions.
I nod a little uneasily. "Yeah?"
"Well.you were gonna say something about playing around with Angel.and last time I checked, dead boy was all broody. But here you are and you were actually *joking* with him and he was *laughing*." He rambles in disbelief. "Does anybody else find that very, very disturbing?"
"Come to think of it.yeah." Buffy tunes in. "What's up with that?"
Damn you Xander. Damn you. I swallow and shrug. "I.er.interesting character reconstruction?" I suggest optimistically.
They don't buy it. Not even for a split second.
"You *know* everything, don't you? Why he's acting like this. Everything he's hiding. You *know*." Buffy states accusingly.
I allow my eyes to widen slightly and put my hands up in surrender. "Hey.whoa.back up. Time out, even. I never said I didn't.I mean.I may know some things.but that alone doesn't give me the right to tell everyone. Angel's character on TV has seemingly gone through a complete reconstruction.that's all I can tell you. In fact.every single character on either show has." I look at each one of them, my eyes lingering on Spike and then Buffy. Oh yeah. I have read those spoilers. "The change in Angel's behaviour and lifestyle may seem pretty drastic to you guys.but think about what your own seems like." Phew! Got that out of my system.
"But still.if there's something you're not telling us-"The slayer begins again.
I cut her short. "I'm a bystander. I'm pretty sure that my being here has altered a lot of what was intended for your futures, but I don't want to say anything that could make it worse. And even if I could.don't you think I might have certain.uh.*issues* that Angel might need to know about you, that you haven't told him?" Great. Now I'm blackmailing a vampire slayer. I'm not half stupid am I?
She falters a little. "Is that a threat?"
"No." I reply. "I didn't mean for it to sound like-"
"G-guys," Tara breaks in. "Please don't argue." She's obviously still a little uncomfortable with stating her opinion, even though her character has supposedly become quite confident. "I-its not going to help anyone."
I smile back gratefully. "I know." I turn back to the still pretty pissed off slayer. "And I'm sorry.its just.I'm a little on the defensive here. I mean. I feel really weird being a part of all this y'know. From what I've seen of all of your lives.and from what I've heard in spoilers.I just feel like I know you all personally and.I can't explain it. But I don't want you guys to go away from this thinking that I'm some stupid bitch or whatever.'cos I like you all too much." I stop to take a deep breath and think about what I've just said. I sigh and chuckle at myself. "I did it again. Why is it that when I'm around you people I can't for the life of me make sense when I try to make my point?"
Gunn laughs. " 'Cos you love us too much. It messes up your trail of thought."
I roll my eyes, blushing ever so slightly. "Get over it."
"Oh.so you had a crush on Gunn?" Anya half asks-half states, misinterpreting our conversation. "That does make perfect sense because he has a nice, manly physique. Very attractive. But I don't like him that way because I love Xander." She squeezes her man tightly and I want to break into fits of laughter.
"Thanks An. I'm totally convinced you don't think of anyone else other than me now." He replies sarcastically.
I struggle to gather my composure. Once completed I realise that Anya still believes that I have this big thing for Gunn, which.okay I'm starting to.but that's just the damn teenager hormones talking. "Actually.I hate to say it.but Gunn's not really the Ats character that got the most drool points."
Her eyes widen. "Really.then who?"
I try not to look anyone in the eye, 'cos I kinda have a feeling the reaction isn't gonna be that good. "Well.on the show.I *kinda* had a thing for 'Tall dark and broody'." I admit.
A snort of laughter erupts from the brunette teenager that I'm not exactly a fan of. "You've got a thing for *Angel*?" She asks in disbelief. "That's so.funny."
"I *had* a thing for Angel.and not a major thing 'cos.hello, TV show. But.yeah.I kinda dig him.or dug him, rather. And the actor in reality.*my* reality." I sigh dramatically. ".That 'aint bad either."
She scrunches up her nose. "I don't get it. He's like.way old. And I'm still betting the actor is a lot older than you too."
I smile. "Yeah.and kinda over the other side of the planet from where I live. And he's slightly married.with a baby on the way.or.by your timeline.with a baby already in existence." I chuckle. "A girl can dream though.Right?"
Dawn smiles back and I know we've reached an agreement. "Yeah.I guess a girl can dream." She tells me. "No matter what her twisted tastes are."
I have to bite my tongue at that. I mean.she's the one that had a crush on Xander.and then Spike. Mmmm..Spike. See why I had to bite my tongue?
Meanwhile the others haven't exactly said anything about my liking Angel, so I might have just gotten away with it. Though, considering the clichés of this TV reality, I doubt it. Especially now that I've thought about getting away with it. Someone's bound to say something right about.
"So.you think Angel's a hottie then?"
Now.
I turn to face Buffy. "Umm.is there any way I can answer that *without* sounding pathetic?" She shakes her head and I laugh. "I didn't think so.and the answer? Yeah. You should be able to understand why." She nods with a small smile, and I watch as Spike scowls. Ooops.didn't mean to say that. Time to bring the conversation back to embarrassing me. "So.with this thing for the guy.You can imagine my reaction waking up here and seeing him. I swear to the PTBs it was funny." I pause for a beat. " Well.in hindsight it was funny."
"And your teleporting." Gunn adds.not very helpfully. "Don't forget that!"
"Believe me." I manage through clenched teeth. "I don't think I ever will... EVER."
"You teleport?" Xander asks. I nod. "Cool."
"Very. And I might even be able to keep the ability once I'm at home." I add. "So extra cool points for that."
Anya clears her throat. "What does your teleporting have to do with Angel? And why is it funny?"
I wince. I didn't want to have to go there. But I knew it was coming. After all.TV land and its endless clichés. "Umm.it's a long story."
"Its okay.we're planning on staying for a bit. Now.continue with the funny Angel teleporting story." She insists.
I look around at everyone for some sort of escape route.but I don't get one. Everyone is looking at me.awaiting the humiliating tale. I take a deep breath. "Well.I was being attacked by this bad guy in my room. And he had pinned me on my bed.magickally.and was starting to undress me and.well.you get the point." They all nod and I begrudgingly continue. "So I'm lying there half naked underneath this guy and I resort to the last thing possible to escape. I choose to orb the hell out of there. So I get myself all concentrating-like, and I end up orbing into Angel's room." Gunn clears his throat. "Okay.okay." I state. "I end up orbing into Angel's bed." Again he clears his throat. "Where he is sleeping." Another pointed cough. from Gunn, (who, I decide, is gonna be a very dead Gunn in a minute.) "I end up orbing right underneath him as a matter of fact. While he's in his boxers and I'm practically just in a bra and panties." Everyone either laughs or breaks into a huge grin. "It was *very* embarrassing.considering he knew about my crush and all.But I thought we could let it go."
"Are you kidding?" Xander chuckles. "You don't leave something like that alone. *Especially* when it involves a compromising position for Dead Boy. It's always good to get a few cheap laughs out of him. Believe me.in the line of work we're in.You hafta milk stuff like that for all its worth."
"Amen to that." Gunn replies, giving the Xand Man a high five.
Well.seeing as I'm sticking with the clichés.I think its fair to say this can't get much worse. No wait.on second thoughts.I take that back. I didn't think that 'cos there is *always* something worse after someone says 'This can't get much worse.' Grr.me and my stupid thoughts.and these damn idiosyncrasies! Again, I prepare myself for the next problem to hit.
"What about in Sunnydale?" Tara asks suddenly. "Do you like anyone from there?"
Bingo. More cringing up ahead. "I.er.Oh is that the time?" (I've just looked at a non-existent watch on my wrist.) "Well.I gotta go. I've got this appointment to be swallowed up by the earth any second now. Wouldn't want to be late. It was nice meeting you all.goodb-"
"Wait a second!" Anya exclaims. "You didn't answer the question. You can't leave for your appointment before you answer!"
"An." Xander says, shaking his head slightly. "There is no appointment."
She looks confused. "But why would she say there was an appointment if there was no appointment?"
He smiles and hugs her. "Because An, She's being all avoidy."
"Oh." She breaks into a smile. "I get it." She looks back at me and smiles. "I understand. You don't want to say because both the main men are standing right in front of you.and you might embarrass yourself." I nod and she continues. "But that's okay because we all embarrass ourselves all the time. You get used to the funny looks.Don't you, Xander?"
He cringes again, not exactly sure what to make of her last comment. "Uh.sure An."
I'm still trying to get out of answering the question. "Well." I state. "I." Wait a second! I found the Loophole! Always a loophole! I look to Tara. "You asked who I *like* from Sunnydale, right?" She nods. "Well.I can assure you that I like pretty much everyone." I look around at their faces. "Yup. You are all great characters.er.people. What's not to like?"
"That's not exactly what she meant." Dawn points out. 10 points to li'l miss 'state the obvious'. "She meant 'Who do you find crushworthy in Sunnydale?' That's if you do, of course."
I look at the only other teen in the hotel and smile. "I know that.but Xander was kinda right when he said I was being avoidy."
"Well." Dawn urges. "C'mon.I wanna know. Spill it. Dish. Who from.Hang on, what is our show called again?"
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Commonly referred to as 'Buffy' and Btvs." I reply.
"Wow! My sister has a TV show named after her." She says and I chuckle. Then she decides to get back to the point. "So.who from.Btvs?.well.who from our show do you find the most crushworthy?"
I realise how easy it would be to just lie and say that I don't really prize either guy over the other.but I can't lie. I don't lie. I've never deliberately lied to get myself out of a sticky situation. And I refuse to start now. But I can still try to dodge the subject. "I don't think it's really that important." I start. "I mean there's what. 2 guys on the show? Besides the nerd trio, I mean. And, more to the point, I don't think anyone else really cares."
"Oh.we care." Xander says eagerly. Anya shoots him a 'why do you need the teenage girl to approve of you?' kinda look, but nods in agreement all the same. I think she also needs to know that her fiancé is a prize possession and that people are jealous of what she has.
I look to Buffy and Tara and find that they are nodding and looking on expectantly as well. Gunn and Fred cock their heads to the side, also willing for me to continue.and Spike? His blue eyes gleam as he smirks at me and my legs almost turn to jelly.
He winks and says, "Actually.I'm a little curious on the topic myself..."
"Like you've even got a chance." Xander chides, only slightly playfully.
"Oh c'mon whelp!" Spike remarks. "There's no way the girl would fancy you over me."
"Is that so?" Comes the reply.
I look between the two and as Spike goes to reply I speak. "Okay! Break it up! I'll tell.But I wanted to ask whether other characters.like as of the past.can come into the equation?"
"No!" Xander and Spike reply unanimously.
The others shrug and Buffy says, "Yeah.if they were important characters to you."
Woohoo! "Well.first of all.between all the guys that have played important roles on Btvs.other than Angel." I grin, just to let them know I'm playing and Angel isn't really my favourite character...I don't really have a favourite. I'm still finding it hard to choose between Spike and Angel.then there's also.well.you get that I don't have a favourite, right? ".I'm gonna say Oz was a real cutie.he was an amazing character." I glance at Tara. "But he wasn't totally suited to Willow." She smiles gratefully. "That's why I still maintain he was meant for me." Everyone chuckles a bit and I move onto the answer I know is going to make all the difference here. "As for the remaining." I look at Xander then at Spike. "I'm gonna have to say that Spike is the guy."
Xander's jaw drops in shock. "What?"
"Believe me." I say.trying to soften the blow, keeping my gaze away from Spike. "I didn't wanna admit it at first.I mean it's kinda coming off that I have a thing for vampires.but that's not it. Spike and Angel.they're so different. Both unique. Both charming." Both drop dead gorgeous. "Back when Spike was the Big Bad.he still had this charisma and way about his character.but now as the almost-member of the scoobies that he is.he's even more unique. I don't know.it's just so hard to not fall for him."
Xander still looks flabbergasted. "But.Spike?!"
"Hey! He's not as bad as you make him out to be." I jump to the defensive, all the while looking at Buffy, knowing what she must be feeling at this moment. To see her best friend's reaction when it's a complete stranger admitting an attraction to Spike must be quite off-putting. A part of me wonders whether she'll ever be able to do the same thing and tell them all the truth. I think, at this point in time, Tara knows.but I can't be completely sure. Anyway.I've got some Spike defending to do. "I don't know how much you really know about him Xander.but 'Captain Peroxide' is a great guy on the show.in your reality. He's not evil anymore.although I'm sure he'd happily argue with me on that.the truth is he's a good guy now.a different breed of good guy.really unconventional.but he's this amazing character. Always with the jokes and the quips and the cute little smirks." I trail of and cringe in embarrassment. "I didn't say that last part aloud, did I?"
Spike chuckles cockily. "'Fraid you did, pet."
I look at him and laugh. "Well.you called me 'pet' so at least I'll walk away from this thinking. 'Hah! Spike called me pet' and not 'my god.the embarrassing things I said around everyone.'"
"What embarrassing things have you said or done now?" Angel asks, re- entering the room, Cordy and Willow in tow.
I shrug. "Nothing. The usual."
He arches an eyebrow, slightly intrigued. "See.your standard of usual consists of teleporting to unconventional places." I redden and he smirks. "So.I'm a little worried when you say 'the usual'." He looks around at the others, now relaxed in the atmosphere. "Hey." He says. "Sorry I was a little inhospitable before. Its great to see you all. Really. I was just taken by surprise."
Buffy looks him up and down as if questioning his motifs. Satisfied he's telling the truth she walks up to him awkwardly. "Hey." She says.
"Hey." he replies.
"Ladies and Gentlemen.I give you 'the Buffy and Angel show'. Come witness the angst and the pain and the-"
"Cordy!" Angel scolds. I fight back my chuckle and watch as he turns back to Buffy. "So.how was the trip here?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After going through the pleasantries (yet again!) we're all scattered around the lobby. Some of us on the couches.others on the stairs. A couple of people are even seated on the reception desk. Wes and Lorne arrived back a little while ago and everyone's been getting re-acquainted since. But there's one thing I haven't seen happen yet.
Angel still hasn't told the Scoobies about Connor.
I'm currently in the middle of a discussion with Spike and Dawn who, once you get past the 5 year old tantrums and spoilt brat behavioural patterns, turns out to be quite fun to hang with. We're sitting on the steps and I keep looking over to Angel, trying to catch his gaze. I need to talk to him. Cliché number 3578; 'If you avoid telling someone something in TV land, they'll find out in the most obvious and uncomfortable way.' (Or something like that.You get the point by now.)
"Y'know.if you keep looking at him I'm gonna get the feelin' you find him more attractive than me." Spike jokes. Somewhere beneath the surface, though, is the truth of that statement. He's constantly walking in Angel's shadow. First with Dru.now Buffy. He's a totally different person, yet he can't seem to break away from Angel's precedents. Now is not the time for discussing this though.
Looking back at him I smile, "Now.you should know that's never gonna happen." I respond playfully.
"Spike has a point though." Dawn tells me. "You keep looking over at him. It's starting to get to creepy stalker status."
I hit her on the arm in mock offence. "Thanks." I say sarcastically, before sobering up. Gazing back in Angel's direction, I sigh. "Its just.I need to talk to him. He still hasn't told you guys and the later he leaves it the worse it'll get."
"Okay." Spike says. "Have you been talkin' to Dru lately, 'cos you're starting to sound like her. What with the riddles and all."
"Huh?" I respond, slightly puzzled. "Oh.right. I bet I haven't made any sense. Well.like I said before.it's not my place to tell. But, in answer to your question.I actually did get to spend a little quality time with your ex." I shudder at the recent events. "No offence.but I didn't really enjoy it."
His eyes widen. "You've met with Dru?"
"Met with.been ambushed by. It's all the same really." I state nonchalantly.
Dawn's eyes fly from me to Spike, and then back to me. "Wow.You really have been through a lot, huh?"
"She sure has." Angel's voice startles me and I jump. He laughs. "Finally.Mr Stealthy's back in action."
"Peaches!" Spike exclaims in mock disgust, all the while with his trademark smirk on his face. "What you and the cheerleader name things in the bedroom is all well an' good, but I don't think-"
"Spike!" I groan, cutting him off and trying not to laugh. "He *was* referring to his 'sneaking up on people' ability." I smirk and look up at the older vampire, then back to the other again. "But thanks to you, I don't think I'll be able to look at Angel the same way again." I shudder dramatically and he starts laughing. God I love that smile. I look back up at Angel and lose the smirk. "Sorry." Hey, what can I say? I warned you, in this land of worn-out standards I find that I *really* cannot choose between the two.I have this nagging urge to keep them both happy. And no! *Not* like that! (Geez.I leave my thoughts alone for *one* second and look where it gets me.)
He scowls a little, but lets that invisible smile creep onto his face to let me know he's only playing. I think he's actually amused as well. "Can I talk to you?" He asks seriously, after a few seconds.
"Sure." I reply and stand up. Turning to Spike and Dawn I say, "I'll be back in a few."
Angel leads me into his office and I wait for him to talk. Taking an unnecessary deep breath, he starts to speak. "I have to tell them." (And now may I introduce Mr. States the Obvious.) Nodding, I motion for him to continue. "But." He says, looking at the ground, ".I don't know how.or even what I'll tell them."
"Oh.gee.here's an idea.How about the truth?" I point out, kinda playfully so I don't come off too harsh.
He looks at me and his trademark brood sets in. "Its not that easy. Buffy and I.we have a history and-"
"And what? Just because she's your ex you have to tiptoe around absolutely everything?" I sigh when I realise that I shouldn't have snapped at him like that. "Angel." I state gently, "It'll only get worse if you leave it. She was bound to find out sooner or later, right? And later, as you find out in the land of clichés, is always a lot harder to handle for both parties."
His brow unwrinkles a little. "But it's so complicated."
"Yeah." I nod, "And it will only get even more complicated if you don't handle it now."
"I know." He responds, sinking into a chair. I sit down next to him and let him make his decision. After a minute he gets up and takes a nervous breath. Waiting at the door for me to join him, he smiles uncertainly. "Wish me luck."
I walk up to him and take his hand. I don't know why. I mean.here's this big, old vampire that spent half his existence terrorising everyone and everything in sight, and I have to take his hand as if he's a scared 5 year old on his first day at school. He looks down at me and smiles gratefully. I squeeze his hand supportively, whispering, "Good Luck."
As we walk back into the lobby, he clears his throat. "Guys." He begins. ".There's something you need to know."
************************
A/N- Just a short note. What did ya think? Too sappy? Yeah.I think it is as well.But I can't help it. It ended up being yet another character bonding/getting to know you kinda chapter. Review and/or email me. Thanks. Byes.
Oh.PS- Don't forget to read and review 'And the Plot Thickens' by me, and 'Drawn To You' by me and Mrs O-Town. Thanks again. I'm really going now. Ciao.
