Crimson Tears
A Star Ocean 2 Fanfic
malachite84@yahoo.com
All characters of Star Ocean 2 are copyright Enix Corporation. Don't sue me, cause I don't even work. Flames will be laughed at and trashed. Comments and Criticism are welcome though!
WARNINGS: First, this fic sort of messes around with the SO2 plot and the like. Currently, Claude and Dias are living (and sleeping) together in a small house on Earth, and Claude's father is giving Claude frequent visits. Yes, Ronixis is alive, not dead. He IS bastardized very much though. Also, this is my first attempt at first-person POV, AND it is my first attempt at flashbacks (that I remember anyways), so don't flame me too much if it's really bad. Also, I sorta messed around with the verb tenses, so they might seem a bit weird. This fic is NOT fluff, sap, or the like. It is a (rather bad) attempt at ANGST. In other words: LACK OF HAPPY ENDING. Read on at your own risk.
Main Archive at: http://www.geocities.com/ff8bishounen_squall
Today was the day. I was actually going to break up with him. Rolling over on my side, I peered through my long blonde bangs at his handsome face, a small content smile just barely showing on his lips. One muscular arm was wrapped around my waist, holding me securely. His breath blows hot against my face. Somehow, he never seems to be cold. Am I really prepared to give all this up? To give HIM up? I really don't know, but I'm going to do it anyways. Dias shifts a bit, pressing closer against me, the fine pale blue strands brushing over my bare shoulder. God...How can I be this heartless to someone so wonderful?
-Flashback-
I was reading outside my bedroom, squinting at the printed words through the soft orange glow of the light filtering through the mostly closed doorway. I was trying to avoid the inhumanly annoying brat my father was letting sleep over. With me in MY room, no less! So he was the son of the most successful Ambassador the Federation had. So what? Just cause his DAD was a big shot, doesn't mean HE was entitled to any privileges.
As I turned the page, a rock slammed at break neck speed into my eye. My head smashed into the wall, sparks filling my darkened vision as a wave of dizziness swept over me. I heard the murmuring of voices and scrambling of feet dimly.
"Was it the painting?" I couldn't identify that voice exactly, but it sounded like one of Dad's advisories.
"Is he hurt?" The small voice, soft and feminine, belonged to Kristy, one of the many maids working in the manor.
"What in the world happened out here?" Several people asked that question, but apparently didn't think to ask it to me.
And then my dad's angry voice cut through air. "They were fighting! CLAUDE!" He knew I didn't like the stuck up rich kid I had been forced to rooming with, but he was just making too many assumptions!
The ever-helpful Kristy helped me get shakily to my feet, asking quietly if I was alright. I was going to get a black eye for sure. Squinting in the weak light, I could see a large painting that had hung on the wall I had been leaning on had crashed into the floor, unharmed thankfully.
Father's loud voice interrupted Kristy's as he pushed her roughly away from me. "Don't help him, let him be a man! They were fighting, obviously, and Claude here got beat. Stop crying like a sniveling baby!" But I wasn't crying, my eye was just tearing up. I wasn't sobbing or anything like that. I had shouted in pain only once, when my eye was hit. "Just shut up, boy! Go to your room!"
"Whatever, Dad." I clenched a fist, my nails digging into my palm as I tried to keep a handle on my temper. I stomped into my room and set myself on permanent "Ignore Mode" to my "guest". I withdrew into my book, blocking out the rest of the world until I managed to fall asleep.
I later found out that the other boy had been walking while playing some sort of pocket video game, and his knee smashed into me when since he was not looking where he was going. I, of course, was chewed out for stupidly reading outside a doorway in a dim hallway. Besides Kristy's inquiry, no one else asked if I was okay. However, my "guest" did make sure to call me several crybaby and weakling names...
-End flashback-
Was it the way I grew up? Did I learn it when I was a kid? No one really cared for me, besides a handful of maids that eventually left after a couple months. My body was tense, my shoulder aching, as I half-mindedly buried my face against Dias' firm chest. I had been filled with anger countless times in my childhood, rage and pain more prevalent in my life than anyone could ever imagine. It was always like that, ever since Mom died.
Dias' voice rumbled softly in my ear, the deep tone soothing my frayed nerves. "Claude, calm down. How can you possibly be this tense?" His strong arms encircled me completely, pulling me against him.
"It's just bad memories. Very bad memories..." I shook my head, sighing softly.
"I was meaning to ask you, what happened yesterday when you visited your father?" He blinked curiously, one hand softly stroking through my hair.
My body froze at the question. "Uhm, later. I'll tell you later."
-Flashback-
An expensive vase shattered on the wall to the right of me, the delicate crystal shards falling to the carpet. Dad was out of his mind...and beyond reason. "Look, I..."
"NO! YOU look! You're my eldest son here Claude! Not to mention the only one that hasn't been killed in the line of duty...So it's up to you to bear a child to continue the Kenni name!"
Furious heat was washing over me, the calm demeanor I had kept up until now vanishing. "You just want to be a grandfather, huh? It's all about what YOU want."
I was forced to dodge to the side to avoid his heavy blow. "Shut up! It's not right, I tell you! It's just plain old WRONG. Morally corrupt! EVIL!" Apparently, he was too "proper" to say any true insults.
With a surprising burst of agility he caught my shoulders and slammed me into the wall. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I glared into his eyes hatefully, meeting his angry gaze. "Just accept it already, Dad! You can't change it, and neither can..."
"YES YOU CAN!" His face was practically purple by now, his eyes wit a look that chilled my heart.
Calling on all my physical training, I pushed him off and stumbled to the side, bracing myself against the wall and panting heavily. "No, I can't. And I don't want to either!"
He just shook his head, his arms folded across his chest. "Get rid of that boy Dees or whatever. As soon as possible."
"...You want me to...break up with...Dias?" I blinked in disbelief, my heart thudding in my ears.
Father seemed to be calming down frighteningly fast now. "Yes...Yes, leave him immediately. He has obviously corrupted you. Take away the bad influence, take away the problem!" He was actually SMILING by now! "So?"
Icy cold fear had a grip on my heart. "I...I..."
His eyes flashed anger again. "If not for me, at least for your mother. May she rest in peace..." He lowered his gaze as he pulled out a sealed petal pink envelope, slightly faded with age.
Mom...Oh god...I carefully opened the envelope, withdrawing the lacy paper folded inside. Flowing inked letters covered the page, a style I vaguely recognized as being my Mom's.
Dearest Claude:
My beloved son, if you are reading this, then I am no longer with you. I write this on my deathbed, my final farewell to you. I am indeed sorry that we have to part ways so soon in your life, but at least we have had this much time, and I am grateful for every last second we have spent together.
I write this to tell you my wishes, my hopes for your future, which I will not be able to experience with you. I hope you'll find a nice girl, one that is sweet, kind, and deserving of you. I'd love to be at your wedding, see the beautiful dress your blushing bride would be wearing. I wish I could hold a grandchild just once...I know your children are going to be just adorable.
Claude, most importantly: Stick to your morals. Don't get drawn into the doings of wrongness. My last request is for you to please not turn to the evils, things such as drugs, alcohol, stealing, being with another man in an intimate way, or hurting others when not necessary. Take care of yourself, my love. Please listen to your Dad for me. At least try. Remember I'll always be in your heart...
All my love, forever and always,
Your loving Mom
Oh...my...God...She was so confident in me finding a nice girl to settle down with, have a nice happy marriage, have kids...She definitely wouldn't be happy with Dias...The gracefully written words burned into my vision..."being with another man in an intimate way"...homosexuality...being gay. "Mommy..."
"Yes...your mother always told me she frowned on people like your Dees. One of the reasons I loved her, she has such high morals. I'm afraid she wouldn't be happy with you right now...
Mom...Dimly, I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks, but it was a far off sensation. I bowed my head, lowering my gaze. "Okay then. I'll do it tomorrow, I promise." Oh Dias...
-End flashback-
"Claude? CLAUDE! You're crying!"
I was jolted out of the memory of yesterday's events by Dias' shout. Indeed, there were tears making wet tracks down my face, sliding down to Dias' bare chest and leaving shining wet trails. My body was shivering non-stop, but not from being cold. Dias' toned body was radiating more than enough heat to keep me warm. It was just so comfortable lying wrapped up in his body's warmth, I could lie like this forever...NO! I can't!
I jumped suddenly out of the bed and grabbed a robe, racing towards the bathroom. "See you at breakfast!" I slammed and locked the bathroom door, my nude form sagging against it as I stared at the tiled floor. My gaze fell on the metal band around my ring finger. Twisting it around, I smiled faintly. The ring certainly didn't look very special, just a plain silver band, nothing more. But it was special, and Dias had a matching one. We had made a promise to each other with these rings...
I shoved all those thoughts out of my mind, quickly showering and then running to our room in my robe. I quickly dug through a drawer, pulling out white boxers, tattered blue jeans, old white undershirt, and white socks. I threw it all on at breakneck speed, not caring what I looked like. Slipping on my sneakers, I made my way towards the kitchen, my steps full of purpose.
There sat Dias, his long hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, wearing nothing but a pair of navy blue boxers. I gritted my teeth as I pushed away the thoughts of how sexy looked from my mind, and then got on to business. "Dias, I have something really important to tell you."
He looked up from his cereal, his curious reddish eyes slightly amused. "Well, what is it then?"
I slowly placed my ring carefully on the kitchen table, where it lay sparkling in the early morning sunlight streaming through the windows. "I'm leaving. Bye." I made a dash for the door, but Dias' strong hands gripped my arm. He sure could move fast!
"WHY Claude!?" He growled low in his throat, sounding dangerous. My heart was hurting. Dias, please don't do this...
"Cause...It...It's wrong! You're wrong. I'm wrong. WE'RE wrong. And...and...I just can't!" My voice refused to cooperate, insisting on quivering and then cracking on the last few words.
"...It's Rena, isn't it?" His tone was deadly and his eyes blazed crimson fire.
"Of course not! I told you, the thought of girls like that sickens me! And that's not a lie either!"
"Then...why?" Dias' voice had suddenly gone soft, hesitant...sad.
I was beginning to get hysterical now. "I told you already! It's not up to 'morals'!" I took a deep shuddering breath and tried to calm myself. "I'm so sorry Dias. Please, find someone worthy of you." I struggled violently, trying to get free.
Dias stepped behind me, pressing his larger body against mine. His arms held me tight as he whispered below his breath in my ear. "Please don't leave me." I dared to look at his face, and nearly cried out. Dias, the eternally stoic and strong swordsman who could never be beaten, was crying. I shuddered at the sight of his tear filled eyes then thrashed away from him hold, my own tears blurring my vision. I couldn't take it. Every fiber of my body, my heart, my mind, all of me wanted to be with Dias. But I ran. I stumbled out the door and kept sprinting, losing track of the time as I kept moving.
I crashed into Father and collapsed to the ground. "You did the right thing, son. Your mother would be proud."
But I doubted it's worth it. Not when two hearts are broken, and so many tears have been shed. Crimson tears, from crimson-red eyes. Eyes that I still saw in my vision. Dias...Don't forgive me, just live happily. For me. No, not for me. For yourself. Cause you deserve it.
-Flashback-
"Claude! You look terrible! What did your dad do to you?" I was enveloped in a strong embrace, a swirl of soft blue strands brushing my cheek.
"...Tomorrow. I'll tell you tomorrow. But...bed now, okay? I want to sleep with you now..." And that was the last time we made love.
-End flashback-
-The End?-
