The Story of Jessica Black



Chapter Eleven: . . . And Yet so Far



The next morning the new Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Angelina Johnson, was tacking up flyers for try-outs that Saturday. Harry remained subdued, and during the months of September and October never attended a single Quidditch match. Instead, he and Jessica perfected their skills at Wizard's chess, Exploding Snap, and even invented a game called Spinks.

They played the game with a deck of exploding cards and one of Fred or George's Fillibuster Fireworks. The way they played was they threw the cards toward the fuse of the rocket, each picking up the cards if theirs was higher. If one of them hit the fuse of the firework, but their card didn't explode, the person who threw it had to trade decks with the other person. The way someone won was either they were the first to get rid of all their cards, or if the other person set off the firework. The one who didn't set off the firework won.

One of these games had just ended with Harry setting off the firework and Jessica dancing around in the showers of sparks saying, "I won, I won, I won again!" when Hermione and Ron returned from a Quidditch match the day before Halloween. Gryffindor was in third place behind Ravenclaw and Slytherin, and had to win their last four matches by at lease fifty points to win the Quidditch Cup. There were enough games left to change that, but in the grand scheme of things they were out of the running.

"Hullo, Harry," said Ron, sitting next to his friend.

"Hi there, Ron."

"We lost again. That new Seeker had better watch out for the snitch! If Henderson doesn't catch it next game . . ."

"It won't make any difference," ended Hermione. "I wish McGonagall would let you back on the team, Harry," she said, helping Jessica scoop up the remaining cards.

"So do I," Harry said back.

"Oh, cheer up, you two!" Ron said, "It's Saturday! Tomorrow's Sunday and Halloween! Stop being gloomy!"

Harry forced a smile. At least without Quidditch he was rivaling Hermione with his grades. He actually hadn't been looking forward to playing without Oliver Wood, their old captain. And flying sometimes reminded him of what had happened last year with Cedric Diggory. He still felt a little responsible about what happened to him.

"Come on, Harry, how about another game?" Jessica said, recognizing the look on his face.

"I don't feel like it," he said.

"I'll kick your butt at chess, then Harry," Ron suggested.

"No, thanks."

"How about we go and visit Dobby and Winky in the kitchens?" offered Hermione.

"No."

"Will you stop it, Harry?" Jessica asked, exasperated, "Come on, let's sneak off to Hogsmeade."

Ron and Hermione looked a little surprised at that one. Harry still shook his head.

"I feel like flying," he said, standing and going to retrieve his Firebolt.

The others glanced at each other. Harry hadn't flown since he had been kicked off the Quidditch team. They had little time to think about it, though, because Harry came down the stairs at that moment carrying his beloved broomstick.

He held his hand out to Jessica, who took it, got off the ground, and followed him out of the common room with a shrug to Ron and Hermione.

Once outside, Harry mounted his broom and kicked off. Jessica waited patiently on the ground until he landed again, his hair windblown and more color in his cheeks than there had been in a while. He dismounted, then beckoned Jessica to walk around the grounds with him.

It was a crisp, cool October day, and a breeze was blowing lazy fall clouds along in the deep blue sky. They could hear dry leaves rustling from the forest, and the ground was littered with gold that had fallen from the trees. Jessica smiled at the serenity of it all.

Harry spoke as they were nearing the lake. "I just wanted to get away for a little while," he explained. "I was getting sick of the common room, and I didn't want to hear Ron and Hermione talk about Quidditch." Jessica understood. Harry kept talking. "You're the only one who makes me feel like it's okay to not miss playing," he said, "I don't think the others would understand if I told them. I mean, I miss flying, and I miss being part of the team, but I don't miss being taunted by Malfoy, and I don't miss the attempts to sabotage my ability to play. I'd much rather be up in Gryffindor Tower with you, playing cards or chess, and just being normal. Well, as normal as a witch and wizard can be."

Jessica didn't say anything. They stopped at the water's edge and didn't say anything for a while. They just stood staring at the lake.

"It's so beautiful," Jessica said. "Look at the way the waves barely move across the surface, as if they didn't want the rest of the water to know it's moving. I love it. It's life at its simplest. Going, only stopping at its destination, but enjoying the journey on the way."

Harry looked at Jessica watching the ripples across the water. He took a deep breath and said, "Jessica . . ."

Jessica turned to face Harry. "What is it?" she asked curiously, not daring to hope that he would say what she had wanted him to say since that day back in August.

"I don't know how to say this, so I'm going to come right out and say it. I've been watching you ever since I met you. I can't stop thinking about you. When I'm with you I feel like I'm flying, and I don't ever want that feeling to go away. When I'm near you, I feel like there has been a part of me missing and now I've found it. I don't know why, or how . . . All I know is I found it when I met you."

Jessica didn't know what to say. "What are you saying, Harry?" she asked cautiously.

"I'm saying I . . ." he paused, took a deep breath, then said, "I'm saying I love you." I think, he thought. I'm pretty sure . . . I'm almost positive . . . I know it.

Jessica didn't know what to say. There he was, standing in front of her, saying everything she had wanted him to say. But for some reason, she couldn't say it back. Something inside her told her not to say it back. Confused, sad, and a little angry with herself, Jessica tried to say the first decent thing that came into her head.

"Oh, Harry," she said, "Harry, I'm sorry, I . . ."

Harry looked embarrassed. "Don't be," he said, laughing a little, "Don't be sorry."

He mounted his broom and flew back towards the castle before she could say anything more.

Jessica watched him fly away with tears forming. Why couldn't she have just said it back? What was stopping her? She picked up a rock and chucked it into the lake, causing bigger ripples to run swiftly across it.

"So much for simplistic perfection!" she called angrily across the lake to no one in particular. She sat down on the soggy shore and buried her face in her hands. What was she going to do now?